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(Denver Post)   Gun sales in Colorado have jumped more than 41 percent since Friday   (denverpost.com) divider line 53
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5855 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Jul 2012 at 12:19 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-07-24 12:46:01 PM
7 votes:
I woulda been all, like, firing at this clown with my concealed M60 from the hip, friggin' belts of ammo across my bare chest making Rambo look like a straight up pussy, yo! And the after the head shot and he's down? Yup...tea baggin' him...once for every person he harmed. Then I'd whip out my cock and piss into the smoking holes of his body left by my tracers lest the theater burn down and hurt anyone else.

Only because that's how I roll.
2012-07-24 12:57:01 PM
5 votes:

uttertosh: Bit'O'Gristle: I'm not surprised. I wish someone if not someones in that theater were carrying that night. The chances of innocent people getting shot in the crossfire would have been more than offset by the chances of a trained (range time) law abiding citizen throwing a few in the X ring of this douche's chest. Innocent people were dying anyway, and if i had been at that place at that time, i would have chosen to be able not only to defend myself and my family, but the other innocents there too. Better chance having a gun you can use than just cowering back in fear and waiting to get shot like a dog.

ITG


you'd have shiat your panties, choked on tear gas, got shot dead.


Screw that. I'd have shiat on someone else' panties. Because you know the gunman will stop, think to himself, 'what the fark is that sick pervert doing to that girl?' and then I'd escape in the confusion.
2012-07-24 12:36:20 PM
5 votes:

Bit'O'Gristle: uttertosh: Bit'O'Gristle: I'm not surprised. I wish someone if not someones in that theater were carrying that night. The chances of innocent people getting shot in the crossfire would have been more than offset by the chances of a trained (range time) law abiding citizen throwing a few in the X ring of this douche's chest. Innocent people were dying anyway, and if i had been at that place at that time, i would have chosen to be able not only to defend myself and my family, but the other innocents there too. Better chance having a gun you can use than just cowering back in fear and waiting to get shot like a dog.

ITG


you'd have shiat your panties, choked on tear gas, got shot dead.

/yes, because just cowering in your seat hoping not to get riddled by gunfire is MUCH better than being able to defend yourself and others.


You are nuts and you probably would have shot someone else. If you were a superhero, you would be Aquaman.
2012-07-24 10:59:29 AM
5 votes:
In other news, the NRA today introduced their new spokesman...

mojoimage.com
2012-07-24 12:56:28 PM
4 votes:
I carry a gun because cops are too heavy.

/Former LEO
//Expert marksmen
2012-07-24 12:51:26 PM
4 votes:
I see the 101st Chairborne Division is out in full force.

www.pursuingholiness.com
2012-07-24 12:46:16 PM
4 votes:

brap: [i253.photobucket.com image 600x438]

Insane, Earthlings are. Never learn, they will. Hmmmmmm.


Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid.
2012-07-24 12:48:47 PM
3 votes:

Al_Ed: I woulda been all, like, firing at this clown with my concealed M60 from the hip, friggin' belts of ammo across my bare chest making Rambo look like a straight up pussy, yo! And the after the head shot and he's down? Yup...tea baggin' him...once for every person he harmed. Then I'd whip out my cock and piss into the smoking holes of his body left by my tracers lest the theater burn down and hurt anyone else.

Only because that's how I roll.


Yeah, but what if he respawns a minute later with a flamethrower?
2012-07-24 12:59:43 PM
2 votes:

mallorn: People aren't buying guns because they suddenly think they could protect everyone in a situation like Aurora.

They're buying guns because they like guns and are worried that the fallout will limit accessibility. Stock up before it's illegal.


in other words, america is playing out one of its favorite kabuki performances: "reactionary paranoia and batshiat delusions"
2012-07-24 12:40:36 PM
2 votes:
Galloping Galoshes Smartest
Funniest
2012-07-24 12:35:32 PM


Bit'O'Gristle: /yes, because just cowering in your seat hoping not to get riddled by gunfire is MUCH better than being able to defend yourself and others.

I endorse this message. I like the ones that suggest you run. Last time I checked, you can't outrun a bullet.
I was always taught: run away from a knife, run toward a gun. If you can get inside of about 6 feet, you have a good chance. And throw anything you can reach in the gunman's face.

Of course, if you have a weapon and training, just pop him. From cover.




Please. The average Farker is offended by the thought that anyone would ever do anything in a violent situation. "You're dreaming, internet tough guy!"
Faking Bruce Lee could be in a thread here and all he'd get are "ITG" hurled at him.
2012-07-24 12:34:15 PM
2 votes:
Jesus, does that mean more psychos are planning attacks?
2012-07-24 12:28:26 PM
2 votes:

Bit'O'Gristle: I'm not surprised. I wish someone if not someones in that theater were carrying that night. The chances of innocent people getting shot in the crossfire would have been more than offset by the chances of a trained (range time) law abiding citizen throwing a few in the X ring of this douche's chest. Innocent people were dying anyway, and if i had been at that place at that time, i would have chosen to be able not only to defend myself and my family, but the other innocents there too. Better chance having a gun you can use than just cowering back in fear and waiting to get shot like a dog.


ITG


you'd have shiat your panties, choked on tear gas, got shot dead.
2012-07-24 12:23:32 PM
2 votes:
Where's that picture with the caption:

Must go to gun store before Muslin make illagal?
2012-07-24 12:23:15 PM
2 votes:
If 50 million people with guns can't stop these shootings, then 51 million will!
2012-07-24 12:22:15 PM
2 votes:
extras.mnginteractive.com

Why did they choose ribbons the same color as the shooter's hair?
2012-07-24 12:16:46 PM
2 votes:
So the NRA financed and aided Sideshow Bob with the cunning intention of convincing everyone to buy and carry a gun.
2012-07-24 11:47:06 AM
2 votes:
i253.photobucket.com

Insane, Earthlings are. Never learn, they will. Hmmmmmm.
2012-07-24 03:30:36 PM
1 votes:

ChrisDe: If 50 million people with guns can't stop these shootings, then 51 million 50 million people with two guns will!


FTFY.
2012-07-24 03:20:49 PM
1 votes:

HotIgneous Intruder: give me doughnuts: Libya, Egypt, Syria. Successful, or at least partially so, revolutions with and against 20th/21st century weapons.

Libya? Yes, made possible by NATO weapons. Guess who supplies NATO with most of their weapons?
Guess.

Pretzels, dude. Pretzels.


Your gonna hurt yourself hauling those goalposts around.
2012-07-24 02:36:07 PM
1 votes:

uttertosh: toraque: Screw that. I'd have shiat on someone else' panties. Because you know the gunman will stop, think to himself, 'what the fark is that sick pervert doing to that girl?' and then I'd escape in the confusion.

Now that¨s super funny.... and quite smrt. :-D


I'm a firm believer in not letting tragedy stop you from doing what you'd be doing normally anyway.
2012-07-24 02:31:11 PM
1 votes:

NightOwl2255: MythDragon: Gun Nuts:
-Love Guns
-Knows all about guns.
-Can tell you how guns work, how to safety use them, how to clean them and how to store them properly
-Have lots of experience with guns. Shoots them frequently
-Raised with guns. Their paw had a gun, and he took them out to shoot it to show them how to correctly use it.
Believes Obama is coming to get his guns.
Feels naked when not strapped.
Knows that guns are the answer for all of society's ills.
Knows that anyone that does not daily carry is a cowering pussy.

Just had to add a few to even things out for ya.


Now with the right! Pin him down! Don't let that strawman get away!
2012-07-24 02:18:47 PM
1 votes:
Nice guns


...sorry about your penis, though...


But hey, the next time the king of England comes over here to tax our tea I'll be sure to beg to hide in your basement.


Oh wait, never mind. You're an idiot.

1.bp.blogspot.com
2012-07-24 02:14:56 PM
1 votes:
Shorter uttertosh: I'm a gigantic baby who can't defend himself, therefore nobody should be able to engage in self-defense and we should keep wagging our fingers at murderers in the hope they see the error of their ways.
2012-07-24 02:05:59 PM
1 votes:
From reading various articles from the past several days, allow me to group everyone into one fo two categories.
(This is a generalization, and just two categories for the sake of simplicity. I know there are variables that don't fit, but that's not what I am addressing)

Gun Nuts:
-Love Guns
-Knows all about guns.
-Can tell you how guns work, how to safety use them, how to clean them and how to store them properly
-Have lots of experience with guns. Shoots them frequently
-Raised with guns. Their paw had a gun, and he took them out to shoot it to show them how to correctly use it.

Anti-Gun Nuts
-Hates guns
-Knows fark-all about guns
-Can tell you that an automatic Glock-47 takes a high capacity clip and shoots cop killer bullets through 8 feet of brick wall, 4 miles way.
-Has no experience with guns, other than the time they saw their kid playing Call of Honor:Bloody Warfare and grounded him for a month.
-Was given a BB when he was 7. Promptly shot his sister in the eye with the evil thing. Hasn't touched a gun since.

I think there was some sort of correlation I was trying to make, but I forgot where I was going with this.
2012-07-24 01:47:11 PM
1 votes:

soup: i.r.id10t: soup: How about a mental health assessment for anyone looking to buy a firearm? Is that too much to ask? Background checks don't pick up crazy if crazy was never diagnosed.

Right after you complete a mental health assessment before speaking, publishing, voting, gathering, holding church services, etc.

Except none of those things can be used to go on a killing spree in a crowded place.


Except the voting part. That's why we need voter ID laws. To prevent NRA members from voting.
2012-07-24 01:31:27 PM
1 votes:

HotIgneous Intruder: Lookout!
The Internet Tactical Typers are all up in here!

So one heroic CCW permit holder could have saved the day, right?
If he had done so, he would have broken the law.

Oh bother. What a cunundrum, these pesky "laws."
"Laws" are just for the sheeple, right?


You are remembereed for the rules you break, not the rules you follow.~~~~~~General Douglas MacArthur (maybe)

Just like Brad Manning....an obvious hero to the left.
2012-07-24 01:18:41 PM
1 votes:
In other news;
TSA will be starting security screening at theatres.
Just "spot checking" at first, but nationwide hiring will commence right after November elections.
Job openings for armed Theatre Marshals to randomly attend and protect.
Many openings to provide Security Theatre at the Theatre.
2012-07-24 01:16:15 PM
1 votes:
Okay, everybody here stand up.

Please remain standing if you have ever had a gun pointed at you, or in your general direction. Everyone else sit.

For those of you left, please remain standing if you have ever had a weapon actively fired at or near your general direction. Everyone else have a seat.

If anyone remains, please stay standing if the weapon that was fired at you was done so by a gunman dressed better than most SWAT. Everyone else sit.

For anybody still standing, if teargas wasn't involved, please have a seat.


Any Farker left standing may continue this discussion. Everyone else, we have a nice Beiber thread waiting for you in the queue
2012-07-24 01:09:45 PM
1 votes:
uttertosh Smartest
Funniest
2012-07-24 12:57:14 PM


Pockafrusta: and welcome to the retard list.

Welcome to the ITG spastik list of "Hey If I had been there at that place at that time, that shiat'd have gone down soooooooooooooooo freaking different, fo shizzle, dawg" self deluding total farking liars.




I know there's "ignore" and others, but I didn't see that list in the options. Is that only on totalfark?
2012-07-24 01:08:25 PM
1 votes:
horrornews.net

The Penis is evil! The Penis shoots Seeds, and makes new Life to poison the Earth with a plague of men, as once it was. But the Gun shoots Death and purifies the Earth of the filth of Brutals. Go forth, and kill! Zardoz has spoken.
2012-07-24 01:05:27 PM
1 votes:

doubled99: Galloping Galoshes Smartest
Funniest
2012-07-24 12:35:32 PM


Bit'O'Gristle: /yes, because just cowering in your seat hoping not to get riddled by gunfire is MUCH better than being able to defend yourself and others.

I endorse this message. I like the ones that suggest you run. Last time I checked, you can't outrun a bullet.
I was always taught: run away from a knife, run toward a gun. If you can get inside of about 6 feet, you have a good chance. And throw anything you can reach in the gunman's face.

Of course, if you have a weapon and training, just pop him. From cover.



Please. The average Farker is offended by the thought that anyone would ever do anything in a violent situation. "You're dreaming, internet tough guy!"
Faking Bruce Lee could be in a thread here and all he'd get are "ITG" hurled at him.


bruce lee didn't use guns nor advocate gun ownership saturation of the public

/the more you know
2012-07-24 01:04:53 PM
1 votes:

Galloping Galoshes: MasterThief: Because when seconds count, the police are only minutes away.

FTFY. Just upping the sarcasm a notch.

mallorn: People aren't buying guns because they suddenly think they could protect everyone in a situation like Aurora.

In most situations, you have to rely on yourself for defense. The cops won't be there in time.
If you have to depend on someone else to defend you, you are defenseless. You might get to pick the predator that gets you, but that's the extent of your power.


You sound frightened.
2012-07-24 01:01:59 PM
1 votes:
Let's once again discuss the concept of "just because I have the gun, does not mean i should use the gun..."
2012-07-24 12:57:27 PM
1 votes:
We need more George Zimmermans
2012-07-24 12:53:34 PM
1 votes:

Pockafrusta: uttertosh: Bit'O'Gristle: I'm not surprised. I wish someone if not someones in that theater were carrying that night. The chances of innocent people getting shot in the crossfire would have been more than offset by the chances of a trained (range time) law abiding citizen throwing a few in the X ring of this douche's chest. Innocent people were dying anyway, and if i had been at that place at that time, i would have chosen to be able not only to defend myself and my family, but the other innocents there too. Better chance having a gun you can use than just cowering back in fear and waiting to get shot like a dog.

ITG


you'd have shiat your panties, choked on tear gas, got shot dead.

Not what you would have done, He means someone with balls... and welcome to the retard list.


You know, from a debating point of view, that isn't a terribly convincing response. Are you asserting that a person blinded by teargas can see through their testicles? That would be cool - but my balls can't see a damn thing - blind as bats, they are.
2012-07-24 12:50:47 PM
1 votes:

uttertosh: Bit'O'Gristle: I'm not surprised. I wish someone if not someones in that theater were carrying that night. The chances of innocent people getting shot in the crossfire would have been more than offset by the chances of a trained (range time) law abiding citizen throwing a few in the X ring of this douche's chest. Innocent people were dying anyway, and if i had been at that place at that time, i would have chosen to be able not only to defend myself and my family, but the other innocents there too. Better chance having a gun you can use than just cowering back in fear and waiting to get shot like a dog.

ITG


you'd have shiat your panties, choked on tear gas, got shot dead.


Not what you would have done, He means someone with balls... and welcome to the retard list.
2012-07-24 12:49:42 PM
1 votes:
Me? I'm always packing with my 9 in my pants. I'd all ninja behind him, crawl slowly. I always got my trusty gas mask with me too. Bam bam bam. Head shot. COD. Achievement unlocked mass murderer.
2012-07-24 12:46:18 PM
1 votes:
Look at it this way, he was a regular responsible gun owner until he shot 13 people and injured another 50-odd.
2012-07-24 12:46:06 PM
1 votes:
Since the Declaration of Inderpendance was written in the 17th century, I think 2nd amendment should apply only to weapons available at that time. Wanna bear arms? Here's your bow, your arrows, your sword, and your catapult. Now fark off.
2012-07-24 12:40:25 PM
1 votes:

Galloping Galoshes: Bit'O'Gristle: /yes, because just cowering in your seat hoping not to get riddled by gunfire is MUCH better than being able to defend yourself and others.

I endorse this message. I like the ones that suggest you run. Last time I checked, you can't outrun a bullet.
I was always taught: run away from a knife, run toward a gun. If you can get inside of about 6 feet, you have a good chance. And throw anything you can reach in the gunman's face.

Of course, if you have a weapon and training, just pop him. From cover.


It's so easy in Modern Warfare 3! You're like 4th Prestige, right? You got this!
2012-07-24 12:39:49 PM
1 votes:
So James the red is a jobs creator. Better than congress.
2012-07-24 12:38:08 PM
1 votes:

elffster: Bit'O'Gristle: uttertosh: Bit'O'Gristle: I'm not surprised. I wish someone if not someones in that theater were carrying that night. The chances of innocent people getting shot in the crossfire would have been more than offset by the chances of a trained (range time) law abiding citizen throwing a few in the X ring of this douche's chest. Innocent people were dying anyway, and if i had been at that place at that time, i would have chosen to be able not only to defend myself and my family, but the other innocents there too. Better chance having a gun you can use than just cowering back in fear and waiting to get shot like a dog.

ITG


you'd have shiat your panties, choked on tear gas, got shot dead.

/yes, because just cowering in your seat hoping not to get riddled by gunfire is MUCH better than being able to defend yourself and others.

You are nuts and you probably would have shot someone else. If you were a superhero, you would be Aquaman.


Please. He wouldn't have even gotten his gun out of its holster. He would have been laying on the ground curled up in a fetal position crying "Why is this happening to me?"
2012-07-24 12:36:39 PM
1 votes:

Bit'O'Gristle: I'm not surprised. I wish someone if not someones in that theater were carrying that night. The chances of innocent people getting shot in the crossfire would have been more than offset by the chances of a trained (range time) law abiding citizen throwing a few in the X ring of this douche's chest. Innocent people were dying anyway, and if i had been at that place at that time, i would have chosen to be able not only to defend myself and my family, but the other innocents there too. Better chance having a gun you can use than just cowering back in fear and waiting to get shot like a dog.


Ironically that theatre used to be gang central back in the crips v. Bloods days. I blame the mexican cartels for making the predominantly black gangs obsolete.
2012-07-24 12:32:52 PM
1 votes:

Bit'O'Gristle: uttertosh: Bit'O'Gristle: I'm not surprised. I wish someone if not someones in that theater were carrying that night. The chances of innocent people getting shot in the crossfire would have been more than offset by the chances of a trained (range time) law abiding citizen throwing a few in the X ring of this douche's chest. Innocent people were dying anyway, and if i had been at that place at that time, i would have chosen to be able not only to defend myself and my family, but the other innocents there too. Better chance having a gun you can use than just cowering back in fear and waiting to get shot like a dog.

ITG


you'd have shiat your panties, choked on tear gas, got shot dead.

/yes, because just cowering in your seat hoping not to get riddled by gunfire is MUCH better than being able to defend yourself and others.



except, IRL: you'd have shiat your panties, choked on tear gas, got shot dead.
2012-07-24 12:26:47 PM
1 votes:
farkityfarker Smartest
Funniest
2012-07-24 12:24:52 PM


Are people not aware that the perpetrator has been incarcerated?




So there's nothing to worry about then?
Then why the call for more gun control? C'mon, it's over, man.
2012-07-24 12:26:20 PM
1 votes:

MyNameIsMofuga: [extras.mnginteractive.com image 600x458]

Why did they choose ribbons the same color as the shooter's hair?


must....not....giggle....at....this.

dam you Mofuga! dam you right to hell for making me have to book a window seat!
2012-07-24 12:26:16 PM
1 votes:
redstatevirginia.com
Faith in action. Bolt action, that is.
2012-07-24 12:25:43 PM
1 votes:
And batman was number 1 in theatres. COINCIDENCE????
2012-07-24 12:24:04 PM
1 votes:
This is great, because the next time there's an insane gunman in a darkened, smoke-filled theater, there will be that many more people shooting randomly and the number of people not shot will be greater.

Or something.
2012-07-24 12:23:23 PM
1 votes:
I'm not surprised. I wish someone if not someones in that theater were carrying that night. The chances of innocent people getting shot in the crossfire would have been more than offset by the chances of a trained (range time) law abiding citizen throwing a few in the X ring of this douche's chest. Innocent people were dying anyway, and if i had been at that place at that time, i would have chosen to be able not only to defend myself and my family, but the other innocents there too. Better chance having a gun you can use than just cowering back in fear and waiting to get shot like a dog.
2012-07-24 12:22:25 PM
1 votes:
i0.kym-cdn.com
M-G
2012-07-24 12:21:02 PM
1 votes:

BarkingUnicorn: So the NRA financed and aided Sideshow Bob with the cunning intention of convincing everyone to buy and carry a gun.


That's actually less insane than the NRA's argument that Obama will take their guns in his second term because he didn't in his first...
2012-07-24 11:34:57 AM
1 votes:
Because when seconds count, the police are minutes away.
 
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