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(Foodbeast)   Introducing: Air. A carbonated water beverage with 4% alcohol by volume. Virtually odorless, colorless, and tasteless, it may at first seem like Coors Light, but should you consume enough, this stuff will actually get you drunk   (foodbeast.com) divider line 108
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14399 clicks; posted to Business » on 24 Jul 2012 at 12:05 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-24 12:53:52 PM

tothekor: [weasel.brazi.net image 720x480]
And I assure you, there is no air shortage. I know. I've heard the same rumors myself. Thank you for calling. And not reversing the charges.


Came here for this. Leaving satisfied.
 
2012-07-24 12:54:43 PM
Of course because of our retarded laws based on the process and not the alcohol content, its a malt beverage. So it probably tastes like crap instead of a nothing like a prepackaged vodka and club should.
 
2012-07-24 01:00:09 PM
Our audience for Air is young, smart and very savvy

Just like the commercials tell us that Dr.Pepper drinkers are all hip and unique dressing in their red shirts, right?
 
2012-07-24 01:00:35 PM
www.brooklyntobacco.com
images2.wikia.nocookie.net
www.tfo.net.ru
 
2012-07-24 01:06:14 PM

brap: As mentioned before, I will stick with vodka soda thank you very much. A heck of a lot stronger and the same amount of calories, not that obsessive about that sort of stuff. Ack I had FOUR glasses of wine last night. Oh the bloatation!

*tickles back of throat with feather while doing crunches*


I love wine. And vodka.

/do I sound fat?
 
2012-07-24 01:06:20 PM
They have doughnut water in Germany?
 
2012-07-24 01:06:29 PM

StrangeQ: Our audience for Air is young, smart and very savvy

Just like the commercials tell us that Dr.Pepper drinkers are all hip and unique dressing in their red shirts, right?


I assume what they mean is kids that want to drink at home without mom and dad smelling it, cause yeah, it would work for that.
 
2012-07-24 01:11:18 PM
I'm 6 foot 4, 240 pounds, I have drank at least 3 beers a day, probably closer to 6 (8-12 on sat / sun), for the better part of a decade. If i drink a case of a corona in a few hours, im drunk, and you're the pussy because you lie about it on the internet.
 
2012-07-24 01:13:24 PM
I like these threads. It lets you know who the retards are when it comes to the effects of alcohol on the body.
 
2012-07-24 01:14:14 PM

jfivealive: I'm 6 foot 4, 240 pounds, I have drank at least 3 beers a day, probably closer to 6 (8-12 on sat / sun), for the better part of a decade. If i drink a case of a corona in a few hours, im drunk, and you're the pussy because you lie about it on the internet.


Damn you. You said basically what I was thinking, but I didn't want to pull the "I drink consistently" card.
 
2012-07-24 01:14:21 PM

Quantum Apostrophe: [www.brooklyntobacco.com image 500x500]
[images2.wikia.nocookie.net image 300x300]
[www.tfo.net.ru image 343x500]


See, you cant do that, because no matter what proof it is, at some point the ethanol was distilled, so for tax and legal purposes (grocery store sales depending on state) its a liquor.

Its stupid as hell, and most people dont even realize that stuff like Mikes Hard Lemonade is technically a beer, not just bottled lemonade and vodka. Even stuff with a liquor brand, like Smirnoff Ice, doesnt actually have any vodka in it.
 
2012-07-24 01:14:41 PM
add lime juice and get back to me, OK thanks.
 
2012-07-24 01:18:22 PM
booze without color or taste or odor? that's like boobs without nipples. pass
 
WGJ
2012-07-24 01:21:42 PM
FTFA: "Our audience for Air is young, smart and very savvy," MCR CEO Minott Wessinger says.

So their market is unemployed hipsters?
 
2012-07-24 01:29:54 PM
That ranks right up there as one of the stupidest things I've seen all year. Thee hipsters will spend all their allowance on it.
 
2012-07-24 01:35:36 PM

jfivealive: I'm 6 foot 4, 240 pounds, I have drank at least 3 beers a day, probably closer to 6 (8-12 on sat / sun), for the better part of a decade. If i drink a case of a corona in a few hours, im drunk, and you're the pussy because you lie about it on the internet.


I just felt my liver twitch in sympathy for yours.
 
2012-07-24 01:43:55 PM
no thanks. i'll stick to my whiskey because i know whiskey will get you drunk...
 
2012-07-24 01:46:27 PM

Too Pretty For Prison: booze without color or taste or odor? that's like boobs without nipples. pass


They don't need to have nipples for me to fark 'em - I'm game.
 
2012-07-24 01:47:22 PM
If I want to drink fizzy water, I'll just drink fizzy water and leave my liver out of the equation, thank-you-very-much.

/particularly likes the unsweetened citrus-flavored kind
 
2012-07-24 01:47:59 PM
Smirnoff did this a few years ago.
 
2012-07-24 01:54:38 PM
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-07-24 01:57:54 PM

WGJ: FTFA: "Our audience for Air is young, smart and very savvy," MCR CEO Minott Wessinger says.

So their market is unemployed hipsters?


Particularly those who want to get draunk but don't want to be seen imbibing beer, wine or liquor. Like Baptists, perhaps. Or Mormons.
 
2012-07-24 02:01:03 PM

vodka: This drink seems exactly like Zima but I don't know if Zima was malted.


Zima (God rest its fruity, prissy soul) was malted. It would be more or less exactly the same, except that Zima also had about eight pounds of sugar per bottle in it.

Or so I've heard. From someone who drank some. Not me. I only drink reagent-grade lab alcohol and fermented milk harvested from the occasional she-grizzly bear I might happen to wrassle, as befits my status as a man.
 
2012-07-24 02:06:11 PM
I feel like I over-taste alcohol. It doesn't matter how it is mixed or diluted, if there is alcohol there it is the only thing I can taste in a drink. And, by association of the taste alone, it is a vile substance that immediately induces gagging and vomiting with a whiff of nose burning and a hint of stripping the skin at the back of the throat. People think I'm nuts - have a "lady beer" they say,"you can't taste it!" They lie. I'd love to be able to saddle down to the bar and have all of the old fashioned drinks I've heard about in movies or even a fruity girly cocktail. It amazes me that there are so many alcoholics in my family - can't they TASTE what they're drinking? I'd love an alcoholic drink with truly no taste.

sigh. Yeah, I'll be your designated driver.
 
2012-07-24 02:09:46 PM

imtheonlylp: Ever been to your local gas station/fast food joint and have the fountain drink machine run out while getting something clear such as Sprite? Ever tasted it? WTF would want to willingly drink something like that? My first reaction is to find somewhere to spit it - quickly.


That is the absolute worst. Especially when you've already left the drive thru, down the road and you take a nice big swig. DAMMMMITTT.
 
2012-07-24 02:10:27 PM
Should be wildly popular with the kids, since it's not going to smell quite like beer or Zima...Young hip and what? I say young, inexperienced and uneducated, cause you can sell them anything with a hot enough commercial...and what does a guy riding a hose have to do with air?

Every year I'm gladder that I went White Ribbon.

But if you have no taste, you can drink anything!
 
2012-07-24 02:29:34 PM

kmmontandon: cman: This will make it much easier to get drunk. Unfortunately, you will still barf, but it won't be bad coming back up


... how the hell can you get sick-drunk from something that's 4% abv?

I mean ... if you need a loaner, I can let you borrow a magnifying glass. You know, so you can locate your balls.


Umm, it's pretty easy to get drunk on beer.

/even the worshiped Guinness is only 4.3%
 
2012-07-24 02:31:29 PM

imtheonlylp: Ever been to your local gas station/fast food joint and have the fountain drink machine run out while getting something clear such as Sprite? Ever tasted it? WTF would want to willingly drink something like that? My first reaction is to find somewhere to spit it - quickly.


Its water with bubbles FFS...
 
2012-07-24 02:31:42 PM

elguerodiablo: Back when Colorado washed a conservitard red state you could only buy 3.2 beer on Sundays. I can attest it is very possible, even for fatties, to get drunk on low alcohol beer. Though it really helps if you have a beer bong.


well shiat dude, I can just put in an IV drip and get drunk that way too -- but try to force enough light beer into my gut, which only the size of your fist, and can expand 5x or so -- not gonna happen.

I can see how a beer bong would eliminate all the carbonation and gulping and stuff -- but you'd have to hit that thing like a Tijuana whore on Tuesdays.......
 
2012-07-24 02:37:45 PM

lilplatinum: imtheonlylp: Ever been to your local gas station/fast food joint and have the fountain drink machine run out while getting something clear such as Sprite? Ever tasted it? WTF would want to willingly drink something like that? My first reaction is to find somewhere to spit it - quickly.

Its water with bubbles FFS...


I call BS. I'll drink water all day long. Carbonated water? If it were 100ºF out, I'd rather drink molten lava.
 
2012-07-24 02:40:32 PM

imtheonlylp: lilplatinum: imtheonlylp: Ever been to your local gas station/fast food joint and have the fountain drink machine run out while getting something clear such as Sprite? Ever tasted it? WTF would want to willingly drink something like that? My first reaction is to find somewhere to spit it - quickly.

Its water with bubbles FFS...

I call BS. I'll drink water all day long. Carbonated water? If it were 100ºF out, I'd rather drink molten lava.


Thats fairly retarded.

Tasteless substance = fine.

Tasteless substance and carbonation = worse than molten lava

But apparently Tastless substance and carbonation and a farkton of corn syrup = just great
 
2012-07-24 02:42:16 PM

jfivealive: I'm 6 foot 4, 240 pounds, I have drank at least 3 beers a day, probably closer to 6 (8-12 on sat / sun), for the better part of a decade. If i drink a case of a corona in a few hours, im drunk, and you're the pussy because you lie about it on the internet.


yeah, I'm gonna go with YOU'RE the pussy, cause you get drunk on beach beer. So....you catch a whiff of liquor and pass out for a week?

I mean, you could've just politely disagreed, but nooooooooo, better to just blindly insult. Anyway -- more on topic --


6 drinks/hour, 240 lb man, should put you at about .09 abv./ hour and that is totally sustainable, given a reasonable metabolic rate, and you're not just 250 lbs of slug (and I'm not saying you are, I'm assuming a healthy 240).

So 6 light beers/hour, at a decent metabolic rate, will keep you at "kinda drunk" - buzzy, tipsy, a little goofy. Shouldn't be driving, for sure, but you're not getting sharpied, or sticking your tongue into an in-laws ear. Less, if you have a tolerance.

It's possible that you just don't metabolize alcohol all that well. And of course, this is all anecdotal, but I have definitely put back a 12 of Corona on my own, and gone back for more, in the course of an afternoon. Heat, light, activity -- all come into play.

Not lying bro -- no need, don't know you. I'm gonna lie, it's gonna be to my boss.
 
2012-07-24 02:43:14 PM

unlikely: They're rebooting Zima?


This. I'll pass...
 
2012-07-24 02:50:23 PM
Yet another drink for pussies who can't handle the taste of anything that isn't sweet or flavorless.
 
2012-07-24 02:56:45 PM

gadian: I feel like I over-taste alcohol. It doesn't matter how it is mixed or diluted, if there is alcohol there it is the only thing I can taste in a drink. And, by association of the taste alone, it is a vile substance that immediately induces gagging and vomiting with a whiff of nose burning and a hint of stripping the skin at the back of the throat. People think I'm nuts - have a "lady beer" they say,"you can't taste it!" They lie. I'd love to be able to saddle down to the bar and have all of the old fashioned drinks I've heard about in movies or even a fruity girly cocktail. It amazes me that there are so many alcoholics in my family - can't they TASTE what they're drinking? I'd love an alcoholic drink with truly no taste.

sigh. Yeah, I'll be your designated driver.


Are you me?

/same goes for capsaicin
//overtasters of the world unite
 
2012-07-24 03:00:24 PM

StrangeQ: Our audience for Air is young, smart and very savvy

Just like the commercials tell us that Dr.Pepper drinkers are all hip and unique dressing in their red shirts, right?


I read that and stopped reading. This obviously does not apply to me.
 
2012-07-24 03:23:51 PM

Egoy3k: SageTemple: cman: Drink enough alchohol of something and yo will get drunk. It's farking laws of physics, dude

I gotta go with no on that one. A big enough person, and a small enough alcohol content and it's a push at best.

Say.........Kevin James.....with Coors Light. NEVER GONNA GET DRUNK.

Or... that fat comedian that calls himself fluffy, not fat. You give him a case of Corona, and you'll have a pissing monster and an empty case, but no drunk anywhere.

Hell I'm nowhere near the size of those guys and I can tell you that drinking a case of corona would make me piss a lot and feel just about as fat as those guys and not at all drunk. I don't even drink that much either. I guess I just have a high tolerance for the booze.


Same here. A while back my local corner store just gave me an 18 pack of MGD 64 because they just couldn't sell the stuff. Sounded great until I got 15 beers in without a buzz. I guess in order to make them low calorie they just took out the alcohol.
 
2012-07-24 03:30:56 PM

zarberg: I'm sure this product will not be used at all by college aged males to get females in an easy state.


Ohio?
 
2012-07-24 03:35:00 PM
intoxreport.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-07-24 04:18:12 PM

jfivealive: I'm 6 foot 4, 240 pounds, I have drank at least 3 beers a day, probably closer to 6 (8-12 on sat / sun), for the better part of a decade. If i drink a case of a corona in a few hours, im drunk, and you're the pussy because you lie about it on the internet.


Different drinks hit in different ways, but yeah, anybody that thinks 4% means you can drink 20 and still drive is either lying or never actually had 20
 
2012-07-24 04:35:30 PM

jfivealive: I'm 6 foot 4, 240 pounds, I have drank at least 3 beers a day, probably closer to 6 (8-12 on sat / sun), for the better part of a decade. If i drink a case of a corona in a few hours, im drunk, and you're the pussy because you lie about it on the internet.


Anybody that tries to drink a case of that panther piss deserves to wake up in the gutter with a hermaphrodite gorilla with the clap.

Stick to rum or whiskey. They'll get you drunk and do it with vigor and honesty
 
2012-07-24 04:56:46 PM

king_nacho: jfivealive: I'm 6 foot 4, 240 pounds, I have drank at least 3 beers a day, probably closer to 6 (8-12 on sat / sun), for the better part of a decade. If i drink a case of a corona in a few hours, im drunk, and you're the pussy because you lie about it on the internet.

Different drinks hit in different ways, but yeah, anybody that thinks 4% means you can drink 20 and still drive is either lying or never actually had 20


fark you buddy. you're not the boss of me. i'll drive when i feel like. 20, 40, whatever, give me my keys i've got places to go.
 
2012-07-24 05:17:46 PM
I've always hated the epithet "alcopop". This stuff, tho... is
 
2012-07-24 06:35:24 PM

SwiftFox: I've always hated the epithet "alcopop". This stuff, tho... is


No it isn't.

I've bought Air a handful of times now for one reason. I walk to the grocery store (.5 miles) because Seattle is a parking lot between 4-7pm. I usually get an Air for the walk back. It looks like an energy drink (no stink eye). It's super refreshing (not sweet, barely tastes like anything), and at 4%, you know your drinking booze, but it obviously won't get you hammered.

Then I switch over to the hard stuff when I get home.
 
2012-07-24 06:38:25 PM

A Fark Handle: king_nacho: jfivealive: I'm 6 foot 4, 240 pounds, I have drank at least 3 beers a day, probably closer to 6 (8-12 on sat / sun), for the better part of a decade. If i drink a case of a corona in a few hours, im drunk, and you're the pussy because you lie about it on the internet.

Different drinks hit in different ways, but yeah, anybody that thinks 4% means you can drink 20 and still drive is either lying or never actually had 20

fark you buddy. you're not the boss of me. i'll drive when i feel like. 20, 40, whatever, give me my keys i've got places to go.


i can drive after 100. just put me in a car and i'm fine.
literaly
i can achieve zen like states under the effects of alcohol, pot, hydrocodone, u name it
 
2012-07-24 06:54:12 PM

AbbeySomeone: The kids will love it.

Goddammit, now I have that horrible 70's song in my head.

Like oxygen.. blah blah.. too much it gets you high


Damn it Abbey. Thanks a lot for the ear worm.
 
2012-07-24 07:52:19 PM
This stuff sounds a little dangerous, like it could get your BAC up past legal limits without you really being aware of it, so if you're going to be consuming something this dangerous, you may as well go smoke marijuana, meth or do cocaine.
 
2012-07-24 08:10:53 PM

unlikely: They're rebooting Zima?


came for this, leaving satisfied
 
2012-07-24 08:21:09 PM
i've driven after taking 57 valium 10mg
 
2012-07-24 08:39:35 PM
According to Drink Spirits, Air comes in berry, citrus and club flavors; is highly carbonated; and is best served chilled, which helps to mask the already minimal malt-based flavoring.
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But I still want my Coors Mountains BLUE dammit!
 
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