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(Gizmodo)   Wouldn't it be nice if you could continue to bring comfort to your loved ones long after you've passed on? Have you considered the timeless appeal of an urn sculpted to look exactly like your severed head on a plaque?   (gizmodo.com) divider line 82
    More: Spiffy, Wouldn't It Be Nice  
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7341 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Jul 2012 at 10:06 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-23 09:02:31 PM  
FTFA:
And it doesn't require a mould of your head to be created, or even a laser scan of your noggin. The company promises to create the urn using just a single photo of the deceased.

i48.tinypic.com

Oh yeah, that'll work great.
 
2012-07-23 09:09:20 PM  
Psh, these guys are late to the party. I've been putting out my cigarettes in a hollowed-out one of these for years:
statues.com
 
2012-07-23 09:10:30 PM  
25.media.tumblr.com
No thanks, I'm gonna hold out for my head in a jar.
 
2012-07-23 09:23:28 PM  
Should I be offended they used Barak Obama's head in one example? I mean if Bush's head on a pike can cause outrage surely that is kind of out of bounds.
 
2012-07-23 09:25:01 PM  
You know what it needs? Anamatronics. And pre-recorded messages.
 
2012-07-23 09:25:57 PM  
Yes I have.
 
2012-07-23 10:08:57 PM  

namegoeshere: You know what it needs? Anamatronics. And pre-recorded messages.


And a fish, a singing bass perhaps.
 
2012-07-23 10:09:52 PM  
My creepy meter just went off the scale.
 
2012-07-23 10:11:26 PM  
Watch out though. They often make these things out of materials that are only safe with water-based lubricants, so keep the heavy duty stuff away from your urn.
 
2012-07-23 10:12:17 PM  
msnbcmedia.msn.com

/ww3.hdnux.com
 
2012-07-23 10:12:38 PM  
I want my organs to the donated, the rest of my body to be cremated, and my ashes to be secretly sprinkled on the cake and food that will be served in my funeral.
 
2012-07-23 10:14:21 PM  
I want it to be animatronic like one of these:

upload.wikimedia.org

and randomly pick from a dozen or so recordings of my voice.
 
2012-07-23 10:15:07 PM  
I'll consider it if they make me into a Chia Head.
 
2012-07-23 10:15:16 PM  

Ghastly: FTFA:
And it doesn't require a mould of your head to be created, or even a laser scan of your noggin. The company promises to create the urn using just a single photo of the deceased.

[i48.tinypic.com image 392x348]

Oh yeah, that'll work great.


Hello? Is it me you're looking for?

/oblig
 
2012-07-23 10:15:22 PM  
I want to be built into a miniature sculpture of myself and placed like a garden gnome in the yards of friends and family, to be passed around every Christmas as the gift no one wants but someone has to take.
 
2012-07-23 10:15:24 PM  
I guess it's no more horrible than freeze-drying your beloved pet so you can lay it on the back of the sofa and pretend it's really still alive.

Which is to say, pretty goddamn horrible.
 
2012-07-23 10:16:32 PM  
why is the first head bearing a striking resemblance to BHO?
 
2012-07-23 10:17:09 PM  
Only if it can be sculpted with my 'O' face.

/For those special family occasions, of course.
 
2012-07-23 10:17:51 PM  

stuffy: My creepy meter just went off the scale.


Oh yeah? Check this out. What if a family was having a hard time getting a pregnancy to go full term, and couldn't bear to part with the remains?

famillesummerbelle.typepad.com

Now how's your creepy meter?

/sorry
//sleep tight
 
2012-07-23 10:18:09 PM  
Eh, they can just use the head off my RealDoll...
 
2012-07-23 10:18:22 PM  
I want to have a miniaturized, life-like head urn placed inside a life-sized, life-like head urn. And then I want that life-sized, life-like head urn placed into an even bigger life-like head urn.
 
2012-07-23 10:18:26 PM  

Gyrfalcon: I guess it's no more horrible than freeze-drying your beloved pet so you can lay it on the back of the sofa and pretend it's really still alive.

Which is to say, pretty goddamn horrible.


I looked at a house with a dead cat perched on the arm of the sofa.

/neat house
//didn't buy it
 
2012-07-23 10:19:48 PM  
I consider the cloud, for that's all i have, currently...
 
2012-07-23 10:21:31 PM  

namegoeshere: You know what it needs? Anamatronics. And pre-recorded messages.


Can I choose the voice?
images.wikia.com
/dibs
 
2012-07-23 10:21:33 PM  
Was...was that a....Bud Bundy bust? Yikes!



I know it's pointless,but I'll say it anyway: KIWF!
 
2012-07-23 10:22:33 PM  
Meh, I'd rather just haunt my loved ones... call me a creep traditionalist but it's just how I wish to spend eternity.
 
2012-07-23 10:23:27 PM  

Apos: Was...was that a....Bud Bundy bust? Yikes!



I know it's pointless,but I'll say it anyway: KIWF!


KIWF == "Kid I Wanna Fark" ?


//YOU SICK MOTHER FUTHERE'SNOPOINTINTYPINGITOUTBECAUSEIT'LLONLYGETFILTEREDASFARK
 
2012-07-23 10:23:51 PM  
i210.photobucket.com

Approves.
 
2012-07-23 10:24:24 PM  
And you were so profound with your profundity that time split, a singularity was made, and all you were and knew was sucked into a black hole of night...

And gone...

Or was it?

;)
 
2012-07-23 10:25:21 PM  

Joliebleu: Meh, I'd rather just haunt my loved ones... call me a creep traditionalist but it's just how I wish to spend eternity.


And look on the bright side, at least you'd still get to see some boob now and then.
 
2012-07-23 10:26:57 PM  
*follows links*

Biodegradable urns...... Isn't that a cardboard box?

I kinda think the fingerprint jewelry is a nice idea, but all the designs are ugly.

/want my ashes packed into fireworks
 
2012-07-23 10:27:48 PM  
AM I the only one who thinks that some guy will leave some money to his ex - provided his ashes are put in a bust an kept in plain view?
 
2012-07-23 10:28:49 PM  

MrHappyRotter: Joliebleu: Meh, I'd rather just haunt my loved ones... call me a creep traditionalist but it's just how I wish to spend eternity.

And look on the bright side, at least you'd still get to see some boob now and then.


I have no interest in boob.
 
2012-07-23 10:31:17 PM  
No thanks, just scatter my ashes at a fabulous place, rock star style!
 
2012-07-23 10:32:43 PM  
Have you considered the timeless appeal of an urn sculpted to look exactly like your severed head on a plaque?

img.photobucket.com

This had NOT occurred to us, Dude.
 
2012-07-23 10:33:02 PM  
Wouldn't it be nice if you could continue to bring comfort to your loved ones long after you've passed on?

Old news.

litreactor.com
/why haven't they made a movie out of this? God forbid, it would get the Total Recall treatment
 
2012-07-23 10:33:14 PM  
nah, I'll pass on the head-shaped urn.

Just scatter my ashes in the sea, and bury a casket full of heavy weapons in my mausoleum.
 
2012-07-23 10:35:36 PM  
The motto for this company is obviously.....


*dons black suit and sunglasses*

....."a well urned rest".

/Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah!
 
2012-07-23 10:37:42 PM  

Ambivalence: Should I be offended they used Barak Obama's head in one example? I mean if Bush's head on a pike can cause outrage surely that is kind of out of bounds.


First thing I thought too.

Left-over prop used for budget reasons, disguised with a wig and showing 3/4s turned away from the camera, killed by an unambiguously cruel and evil character who regularly kills honest, gentle, and innocent people: Clear message liberals want Bush dead.

Straight up "if that isn't Barack Obama I'll eat my hat" selling the idea that the President would actually have to be dead to use one of these: Crickets.
 
2012-07-23 10:37:43 PM  
Time to head out and urn enough ash to pay for one of these.
 
2012-07-23 10:40:33 PM  

Ambivalence: Should I be offended they used Barak Obama's head in one example? I mean if Bush's head on a pike can cause outrage surely that is kind of out of bounds.


There, there.
cdn01.cdnwp.thefrisky.com
 
2012-07-23 10:41:17 PM  
Holy shiat, that's creepy.

And using Obama's head as an example is in EXTREMELY poor taste. It's probably also a good way to get a sudden visit from the Secret Service.
 
2012-07-23 10:41:37 PM  
A guy dies and his wife has him cremated and keeps his ashes in a silver urn on the mantel, One day she comes home wearing a floor length mink coat and a five carat diamond ring on her finger. She empties her husband's ashes onto a silver tray and starts to talk to him.

"Sidney, remember all those years I asked you to buy me a mink coat and you never got me one? Well look, Sidney, with the insurance money I bought this coat. Isn't it gorgeous?

"And Sidney, remember all those years I asked you for a diamond ring? Welll look Sidney, I bought myself this ring. Isn't beautiful?

"And Sidney, remember all those years you asked me for a blow job?....PPPHHHHFFFLLLLGGGGHHHH!"
 
2012-07-23 10:44:03 PM  
I want an urn sculpted to exactly match a Folgers can.
 
2012-07-23 10:45:29 PM  
I've said it before, I'll say it again. I want to be entombed in a clear block, in a trying to escape pose, and become the best coffee table ever.
 
2012-07-23 10:49:21 PM  
To all you outraged, Obama-loving liberals. I'll have you know they made one of Bush as well, but you wouldn't recognize it because they've yet to perfect the ass-urn technology required to house it.
 
2012-07-23 10:49:49 PM  
Why would I want my urn to look like my penis?
 
2012-07-23 10:50:47 PM  
I only wish I could hang around long enough after my death to hear one of my beloved family members utter the phrase "Is there a Ralph's around here?"
 
2012-07-23 10:52:29 PM  
Not so CSB: my mom died this spring, and we had an open casket funeral. My outlook on life was shaped a lot by her's, and she HATED the kind of mincing of words, and attachment to ceremony surrounding death that we have in our culture. She hated the phrase "passed on" and wished people would just refer to death by its proper name. Ironically, I often found myself telling friends that my mother had "passed on," more for their comfort than for mine.

I doubt she would have really appreciated the idea of a open casket funeral. (Although who knows - I never discussed her thoughts about how she wanted her funeral to happen, to be honest.) Something tells me our institutions - churches, family, etc. - decide how these things happen, not us.

I guess because of this, I look at any effort at making a corporeal representation of a loved one who has died a little weird and, in some way, in bad faith. Not that I want to get on a soapbox about it - my own siblings reacted differently, and there's a time a place for one's opinions; your mother's funeral is not one of them. Still, this reproduction of someone's head business seems like an even weirder version of this impulse.
 
2012-07-23 10:52:32 PM  
Wouldn't that be worse for the family if you actually had been killed be losing your head somehow?

/"Your Uncle Jimmy lost his head in a roller coaster accident."
//"What do you mean, there's his head right there above the fireplace..."
 
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