FARK.com: (7228408) You're a painter and you want to get out of work early. Do you: a) fake an illness, b) just leave and hope no one notices, or c) start a fire that causes $400 million in damages to a USN submarine?

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		You're a painter and you want to get out of work early. Do you: a) fake an illness, b) just leave and hope no one notices, or c) start a fire that causes $400 million in damages to a USN submarine? (news.yahoo.com)		193
		More: Followup, Maine, federal public defender, life imprisonments, arsons

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14284 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Jul 2012 at 5:43 PM | Favorite | share:

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Ben Enya		2012-07-23 02:13:37 PM

Hell, call in a fake bomb threat like the rest of us.

calbert		2012-07-23 02:17:21 PM

job security

MaudlinMutantMollusk		2012-07-23 02:18:36 PM

It worked, didn't it?

GAT_00		2012-07-23 02:23:43 PM

I'm pretty sure you can fart too hard and cause $400M in damage to a Virginia, but it takes a bit more work to do it to a Los Angeles.

ManateeGag		2012-07-23 02:34:02 PM

so what? Ballsack HUSSAIN 0bama spends that every time he takes his dog for a walk to piss all over the constitution.

Captain Steroid		2012-07-23 02:36:56 PM

brap		2012-07-23 03:13:34 PM

No YOU'RE a painter and YOU want to get out of work early.

- May be a bit overly defensive.

ZAZ		2012-07-23 04:13:21 PM

Fury could face life imprisonment and a fine of up to $250,000 and be ordered to pay restitution

If you're going to face a huge debt, you might as well go for $400 million. Owe a million and you can imagine you might work it off some day or make a deal. But you probably won't. Owe half a billion and you are free from the disappointment that follows hope. You can give the feds the finger.

wxboy		2012-07-23 04:14:18 PM

That's OK, we can rely on Canada's superior submarine firepower.

Ed Finnerty		2012-07-23 04:27:48 PM

FTFA: Fury told Timothy Bailey, the polygraph examiner and a NCIS agent, that "his anxiety started getting really bad" so he grabbed his cigarettes and a lighter, walked up to a bunk room and set fire to some rags that were on the top bunk before returning to work.

Well who doesn't like a nice, warm bed waiting for them after a hard day's work?

AirForceVet		2012-07-23 04:44:05 PM

Boy, is this numbnuts going to be out of work early after he scores life in prison.

Bio-nic		2012-07-23 05:46:50 PM

I hope he enjoys being in Leavenworth...

Thanks for the Meme-ries		2012-07-23 05:47:47 PM

Run a drill.....

Xanlexian		2012-07-23 05:48:20 PM

GAT_00: I'm pretty sure you can fart too hard and cause $400M in damage to a Virginia, but it takes a bit more work to do it to a Los Angeles.

You can possibly do a lot of damage by farting too hard.

i112.photobucket.com

Jon iz teh kewl		2012-07-23 05:49:16 PM

or just hand them a check for $400,000,000. after you enable automatic overdraft services on your checking account
and get a MEDAL!

Bocasio		2012-07-23 05:52:39 PM

Psychologists say the brain isn't fully developed until age 23-24,
Between this farking moron and Sideshow Bob they may be right.

BahdaBoom		2012-07-23 05:53:06 PM

FTFA: Fury told Timothy Bailey, the polygraph examiner and a NCIS agent, that "his anxiety started getting really bad" so he grabbed his cigarettes and a lighter, walked up to a bunk room and set fire to some rags that were on the top bunk before returning to work.

The Navy originally said the fire started when an industrial vacuum cleaner sucked up a heat source that ignited debris inside the vacuum.

[you chose poorly.jpg]

HotWingConspiracy		2012-07-23 05:55:01 PM

that he had failed to admit his involvement...because he was scared and because everything was blurry to him and his memory was impacted due to his anxiety and the medication he was taking at the time.

This is exactly the kind of guy I want working on our subs.

Why can I get fired from a cube job for smoking a joint, but this clown gets security clearance?

PunGent		2012-07-23 05:55:17 PM

Bio-nic: I hope he enjoys being in Leavenworth...

Isn't that just for military? pretty sure he's a civilian...

kokomo61		2012-07-23 05:56:02 PM

Fury eventually admitted to setting the May 23 fire after agreeing to take a polygraph examination on Friday. When the polygraph examiner told Fury he wasn't being truthful in denying his involvement in the fire, Fury admitted he had caused the fire, the affidavit said.

I'm not going to say that the guy shouldn't go up the river for this....that's a major fark-up, and he's going to do hard time in a federal prison.....but don't make it easy for the man to slam dunk your ass.

Two rules to remember:

1) A polygraph is not a lie (or truth) detector. It's an interrogation tool.
2) The examiner is always going to tell you you're being deceptive.

janeuner		2012-07-23 05:56:17 PM

Did they mention if he was a homosexual?

KrispyKritter		2012-07-23 05:56:34 PM

that's b.s. they want to throw this guy in prison. sure, he farked up big time. he also is going through a crapload of problems in his life right now. he should have been pulled from work and collecting workmens comp or disability while he was recovering from what ails him. he was probably in fear of losing his job. job goes, money goes, insurance goes and wham you're homeless.

many employers treat ill employees like crap. you're fine as long as you're a work horse but the minute you fall ill you're screwed. you probably know someone that happened to yourself. nothing like kicking a guy when he's down.

SN1987a goes boom		2012-07-23 05:56:57 PM

If convicted of either charge, Fury could face life imprisonment and a fine of up to $250,000 and be ordered to pay restitution

Well, that should only take him about 15000 years to pay off.

incendi		2012-07-23 05:57:46 PM

Jon iz teh kewl: or just hand them a check for $400,000,000. after you enable automatic overdraft services on your checking account
and get a MEDAL!

and since now your debt is to the bank, not the federal government, declare bankruptcy and now it's the bank's problem!

maxximillian		2012-07-23 05:59:50 PM

brap: No YOU'RE a painter and YOU want to get out of work early.

- May be a bit overly defensive.

For a second I thought Oh dear god did I use your instead of you're.

HotWingConspiracy		2012-07-23 06:01:23 PM

jaybeezey		2012-07-23 06:01:39 PM

KrispyKritter: that's b.s. they want to throw this guy in prison. sure, he farked up big time. he also is going through a crapload of problems in his life right now. he should have been pulled from work and collecting workmens comp or disability while he was recovering from what ails him. he was probably in fear of losing his job. job goes, money goes, insurance goes and wham you're homeless.

many employers treat ill employees like crap. you're fine as long as you're a work horse but the minute you fall ill you're screwed. you probably know someone that happened to yourself. nothing like kicking a guy when he's down.

either way, he'll be in gov't run facility being studied by top men...top men.

Jon iz teh kewl		2012-07-23 06:01:59 PM

Bocasio: Psychologists say the brain isn't fully developed until age 23-24,
Between this farking moron and Sideshow Bob they may be right.

that's why they give us alcohol at 14. so we retard development and get knocked up simotaneuloysly

ZAZ		2012-07-23 06:02:47 PM

If you stiff the bank on a $400,000,000 withdrawl they're going to hit you with a $35 overdraft fee and have you blacklisted from having a checking account for the next seven years.

buzzcut73		2012-07-23 06:03:46 PM

KrispyKritter: that's b.s. they want to throw this guy in prison. sure, he farked up big time. he also is going through a crapload of problems in his life right now. he should have been pulled from work and collecting workmens comp or disability while he was recovering from what ails him. he was probably in fear of losing his job. job goes, money goes, insurance goes and wham you're homeless.

many employers treat ill employees like crap. you're fine as long as you're a work horse but the minute you fall ill you're screwed. you probably know someone that happened to yourself. nothing like kicking a guy when he's down.

Did you completely miss the part where he committed arson, and caused $400 million in damage to a government asset?
You know, a government asset that had other people working on it, is a confined space with very limited means of egress in an emergency, one with a nuclear reactor on board?
He can get some counseling in a therapy group in PMITA prison.

xl5150		2012-07-23 06:03:54 PM

kokomo61: Two rules to remember:

1) A polygraph is not a lie (or truth) detector. It's an interrogation tool.
2) The examiner is always going to tell you you're being deceptive.

My lawyer told me that no competent lawyer would ever let one of his clients take a polygraph. There is literally no conceivable advantage to it at all.

xl5150		2012-07-23 06:05:31 PM

Everyone, let's keep this in perspective. Someone who works in a job like painting is obviously there because he's not exactly tipping the scales in intelligence, so something like this is not altogether extremely unexpected.

DreamSnipers		2012-07-23 06:05:48 PM

I'll bet his anxiety problems are through the roof right now.

Jon iz teh kewl		2012-07-23 06:06:13 PM

ZAZ: If you stiff the bank on a $400,000,000 withdrawl they're going to hit you with a $35 overdraft fee and have you blacklisted from having a checking account for the next seven years.

woop de doo
i'll just withdrawal another billion and pay them tha $70 in COLD HARD CA$H

www.ink-d.co.uk

Noticeably F.A.T.		2012-07-23 06:06:15 PM

Fury told Timothy Bailey, the polygraph examiner and a NCIS agent, that "his anxiety started getting really bad" so he grabbed his cigarettes and a lighter, walked up to a bunk room and set fire to some rags that were on the top bunk before returning to work.

I've heard of hot bunking in subs, but this seems a little extreme.

jayphat		2012-07-23 06:06:57 PM

Was that wrong? Should he not have done that?

skinink		2012-07-23 06:07:16 PM

"Casey James Fury, 24, of Portsmouth, N.H., faces up to life in prison if convicted on two counts of arson for allegedly setting fire to the USS Miami nuclear-powered attack submarine while it was in dry dock..."

The Sound and the Fury.

Man On Pink Corner		2012-07-23 06:10:36 PM

Wow. That's a whole goddamn Mars mission. Send the assclown to Sheriff Joe's place and make him work it off in the sun, on minimum wage.

Karma Curmudgeon		2012-07-23 06:12:44 PM

HotWingConspiracy: that he had failed to admit his involvement...because he was scared and because everything was blurry to him and his memory was impacted due to his anxiety and the medication he was taking at the time.

This is exactly the kind of guy I want working on our subs.

Why can I get fired from a cube job for smoking a joint, but this clown gets security clearance?

Try waiting until after work next time.

Phil Ken Sebben		2012-07-23 06:14:32 PM

Ed Finnerty: FTFA: Fury told Timothy Bailey, the polygraph examiner and a NCIS agent, that "his anxiety started getting really bad" so he grabbed his cigarettes and a lighter, walked up to a bunk room and set fire to some rags that were on the top bunk before returning to work.

Well who doesn't like a nice, warm bed waiting for them after a hard day's work?

I'm just glad Mark Harmon is on the case.

/Gibbs'd

HotWingConspiracy		2012-07-23 06:15:35 PM

Karma Curmudgeon: HotWingConspiracy: that he had failed to admit his involvement...because he was scared and because everything was blurry to him and his memory was impacted due to his anxiety and the medication he was taking at the time.

This is exactly the kind of guy I want working on our subs.

Why can I get fired from a cube job for smoking a joint, but this clown gets security clearance?

Try waiting until after work next time.

I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA

walkerhound		2012-07-23 06:15:39 PM

Shoulda let him keep his stapler.

plasticuser		2012-07-23 06:15:56 PM

$400,000,000.00 in military losses and they didn't call him an 'enemy combatant'?!?!

hasty ambush		2012-07-23 06:16:16 PM

Jon iz teh kewl		2012-07-23 06:17:14 PM

EdNortonsTwin		2012-07-23 06:17:32 PM

buzzcut73: KrispyKritter: that's b.s. they want to throw this guy in prison. sure, he farked up big time. he also is going through a crapload of problems in his life right now. he should have been pulled from work and collecting workmens comp or disability while he was recovering from what ails him. he was probably in fear of losing his job. job goes, money goes, insurance goes and wham you're homeless.

many employers treat ill employees like crap. you're fine as long as you're a work horse but the minute you fall ill you're screwed. you probably know someone that happened to yourself. nothing like kicking a guy when he's down.
---
Did you completely miss the part where he committed arson, and caused $400 million in damage to a government asset?
You know, a government asset that had other people working on it, is a confined space with very limited means of egress in an emergency, one with a nuclear reactor on board?
He can get some counseling in a therapy group in PMITA prison.

ts2.mm.bing.net

Apos		2012-07-23 06:19:52 PM

understands.

wildcardjack		2012-07-23 06:20:06 PM

Don't they have, like, serious fire suppression equipment on submarines because you seriously don't want a fire in your only pocket of air while under water.

Also, wouldn't the crew performing maintenance on the ship require pretty high clearances because they're about to poke around parts of the ship 95% of the crew never know about. You'd think anxiety would be one of the things they'd deny a clearance for because an anxious person would be easy to blackmail.

Bio-nic		2012-07-23 06:21:42 PM

PunGent: Bio-nic: I hope he enjoys being in Leavenworth...

Isn't that just for military? pretty sure he's a civilian...

PunGent: Bio-nic: I hope he enjoys being in Leavenworth...

Isn't that just for military? pretty sure he's a civilian...

Considering it could be considered a terroristic act (he did repeat) I could honestly see them making an example of him. He broke a VERY expensive piece of military hardware...