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(KSTU FOX 13)   Utah boy, 11, citing daily practice sessions with mother, is headed for the world Pokémon championship and an almost assured lifetime of virginity   (fox13now.com) divider line 42
    More: Spiffy, Salt Lake City, Utah, mom  
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2191 clicks; posted to Geek » on 20 Jul 2012 at 1:21 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



42 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-07-20 01:29:10 AM  
toki-woki.net

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-07-20 01:29:46 AM  
Nevermind. They fixed that headline pretty fast

/subby still fails at spelling though
 
2012-07-20 01:44:41 AM  
Pokemon?

Is it really 1998 or am I just that wasted?
 
2012-07-20 02:12:37 AM  

AliceBToklasLives: Is it really 1998 or am I just that wasted?


Yes.
 
2012-07-20 02:24:30 AM  
For the love of piss, really?

If this was a 22 year-old, sure, great headline. But really? An 11 year-old kid should re-prioritize his life, spend less time with his family playing the fark out of video games, and instead begin amassing a giant hoard of pussy?

I guess it's just a headline, but man- being 11 and going for the gold in a video game championship is pretty farking awesome.

Then again, he could and up like Lucas. He's so bad.

/keep your power gloves off her, pal
 
2012-07-20 02:25:05 AM  
www.loneleeplanet.com

SOON
 
2012-07-20 02:56:11 AM  
He's 11. I'll cut him some slack...If he were fifteen or sixteen he would be doomed.
 
2012-07-20 03:09:03 AM  
So what? He's eleven for crissakes. Target audience.
 
2012-07-20 03:57:45 AM  
So, he wants to be the very best?
 
2012-07-20 04:11:30 AM  
In 2000 I bought a friends daughter a giant plush pikachu as a birthday present. It was on clearance.

I saw on Facebook that child has just bought her first car.

It made me feel old.

/And my friend has become a religious fundamentalist
//While I became a hardcore atheist skeptic.
 
2012-07-20 04:19:27 AM  

Fair_Poopsmith: For the love of piss, really?

If this was a 22 year-old, sure, great headline. But really? An 11 year-old kid should re-prioritize his life, spend less time with his family playing the fark out of video games, and instead begin amassing a giant hoard of pussy?

I guess it's just a headline, but man- being 11 and going for the gold in a video game championship is pretty farking awesome.


Eh, anyone who likes what FARK doesn't like is doomed to virginism.

...meanwhile, the average FARKer is also most likely a virgin, IMO.
 
2012-07-20 06:37:32 AM  
art.penny-arcade.com
 
2012-07-20 07:06:10 AM  
Geek on non-geek action not as hard to achieve as some would assume.

/also, the whole 11 years old thing
 
2012-07-20 07:09:15 AM  

IlGreven: Eh, anyone who likes what FARK doesn't like is doomed to virginism.


In this case, were an adult playing the game, I'd say subby had a point. The entire IP's target audience is ages 5-11 or so, the kid in TFA is about the oldest you can get playing it regularly without being something of a creep.

I mean, even the pony shiat gets some slack because the people writing the new show intentionally made it tolerable for parents to watch with their kids, so there's some non-infantile content. Pokemon not so much.
 
2012-07-20 07:18:49 AM  

Honest Bender: [art.penny-arcade.com image 800x401]


How come childs so dumb? Nobody knows.
 
2012-07-20 07:35:17 AM  
Or a world series of poker win when he turns 18.
 
2012-07-20 07:44:25 AM  
He is doing it all wrong. He should run away from home leaving his mother in the care of a creepy mime. He is doing it all wrong.
 
2012-07-20 08:03:33 AM  
Oh, this kid is headed on a downward spiral. Next thing you know he's buying Yu Gi Oh! cards and then Magic the Gathering cards. Pretty soon D&D book will appear. And then... the Devil!
 
2012-07-20 08:14:45 AM  
I was hoping mom was hot.

I was hoping...
 
2012-07-20 08:17:52 AM  
thepunchlineismachismo.com
thepunchlineismachismo.com
 
2012-07-20 08:34:20 AM  

WaitWhatWhy: So, he wants to be the very best?


Like no one was before
 
2012-07-20 08:45:02 AM  
Not once did they pronounce Pokémon correctly.
The entire story is ruined.
 
2012-07-20 09:04:15 AM  
I remember when I was a kid I had *TWO* Charizards. I was farking king.
 
2012-07-20 09:04:53 AM  
I first read this as PokeMom and was confused by the virginity reference, which still wouldn't suprise me.
 
2012-07-20 09:08:25 AM  

God-is-a-Taco: Not once did they pronounce Pokémon correctly.


Where I come from, the "kém" is silent.
 
2012-07-20 09:08:29 AM  
Daniel and his mother run through drills more than three hours a day, training for the upcoming competition.

"My mom over-practices me," Daniel said.


i'm sorry, but i believe the Stake President and Bishop said 'DAILY SCRIPTURE READING, FAMILY PRAYER', not Pokemon.

//but i could be wrong.
 
2012-07-20 09:08:33 AM  

Jim_Callahan: IlGreven: Eh, anyone who likes what FARK doesn't like is doomed to virginism.

In this case, were an adult playing the game, I'd say subby had a point. The entire IP's target audience is ages 5-11 or so, the kid in TFA is about the oldest you can get playing it regularly without being something of a creep.

I mean, even the pony shiat gets some slack because the people writing the new show intentionally made it tolerable for parents to watch with their kids, so there's some non-infantile content. Pokemon not so much.


No, no, you are wrong. pony farks are the creepiest farks ever. These are scumbags that have glommed onto a 4 chan fad about a little girl's tv show started by the most popular pedo site on the internet. Any time I see farks on this site make a mlp reference, they are immediately added to the pedo file.
 
2012-07-20 09:12:20 AM  
Utah boy, 11, citing daily practice sessions with mother...
i0.kym-cdn.com


...is headed for the world Pokémon championship...
media.ign.com
 
2012-07-20 09:23:05 AM  

Bender The Offender: Jim_Callahan: IlGreven: Eh, anyone who likes what FARK doesn't like is doomed to virginism.

In this case, were an adult playing the game, I'd say subby had a point. The entire IP's target audience is ages 5-11 or so, the kid in TFA is about the oldest you can get playing it regularly without being something of a creep.

I mean, even the pony shiat gets some slack because the people writing the new show intentionally made it tolerable for parents to watch with their kids, so there's some non-infantile content. Pokemon not so much.

No, no, you are wrong. pony farks are the creepiest farks ever. These are scumbags that have glommed onto a 4 chan fad about a little girl's tv show started by the most popular pedo site on the internet. Any time I see farks on this site make a mlp reference, they are immediately added to the pedo file.


[fry_IseeWhatYouDidThere.png]
 
2012-07-20 09:42:28 AM  
The cash prizes for some of these card game tournaments are ridiculous. I've known a couple of people in my day whose primary source of income was from MTG tournaments, and they weren't scraping to get by. What's the difference between this and some 30 year old guy at a poker tournament? Is his sex life being called into question? They're both guys playing card games for money. If you're good at it and can make some cash doing it, then by God go for the gold.
 
2012-07-20 09:48:04 AM  
I guess I'll never understand why some people think it's ok to obsess about a sports team that will never do anything more for them than demand tax funding for a new stadium while making fun of others for their quirky hobbies.
 
2012-07-20 09:49:50 AM  

brunnjon: I guess I'll never understand why some people think it's ok to obsess about a sports team that will never do anything more for them than demand tax funding for a new stadium while making fun of others for their quirky hobbies.


Are you suggesting we build a Pokemon Stadium with tax dollars?
 
2012-07-20 10:47:34 AM  

Capt. Sparkles: The cash prizes for some of these card game tournaments are ridiculous. I've known a couple of people in my day whose primary source of income was from MTG tournaments, and they weren't scraping to get by. What's the difference between this and some 30 year old guy at a poker tournament? Is his sex life being called into question? They're both guys playing card games for money. If you're good at it and can make some cash doing it, then by God go for the gold.


A friend of mine went to one of those tourneys. Got 6th place, a small trophy, some packs of MtG cards, and $625. It made me consider getting into it. Doubt i'd win, so quickly dropped that idea.

/asked him what 1st got
//don't remember specifics, just remember being shocked
 
2012-07-20 11:30:41 AM  

Capt. Sparkles: The cash prizes for some of these card game tournaments are ridiculous. I've known a couple of people in my day whose primary source of income was from MTG tournaments, and they weren't scraping to get by. What's the difference between this and some 30 year old guy at a poker tournament? Is his sex life being called into question? They're both guys playing card games for money. If you're good at it and can make some cash doing it, then by God go for the gold.


...and yet, they're a mere pittance compared to poker tournaments.

In 2009, Andre Coimbra won the Magic: The Gathering World Championship. His prize money? $45,000.

In 2010, Andre Coimbra finished 311th in the World Series of Poker Main Event. His prize money? Just under $42,000.

And we wonder why Magic is only considered a "hobby".
 
2012-07-20 12:00:36 PM  
They're gonna laugh at you!
 
2012-07-20 01:12:59 PM  

Fair_Poopsmith: For the love of piss, really?

If this was a 22 year-old, sure, great headline. But really? An 11 year-old kid should re-prioritize his life, spend less time with his family playing the fark out of video games, and instead begin amassing a giant hoard of pussy?

I guess it's just a headline, but man- being 11 and going for the gold in a video game championship is pretty farking awesome.

Then again, he could and up like Lucas. He's so bad.

/keep your power gloves off her, pal


Plus, it's Utah. He won't be a virgin because he's guaranteed something like three wives and they'll pump out about 12 kids.
 
2012-07-20 01:47:35 PM  
Headline fails. Geek chicks love Pokemon.
 
2012-07-20 01:47:56 PM  
Kids these days...

img.photobucket.com

/was 14
//shiat, that old? Anyway, somehow managed to avoid eternal virginity.
 
2012-07-20 02:06:33 PM  

HalEmmerich: //shiat, that old? Anyway, somehow managed to avoid eternal virginity.


Your hands don't count, pal.

/i keed
//biatches love pokemons
 
2012-07-20 04:16:41 PM  
Only Ugly chicks and nerds are into pokemon.
dl.dropbox.com
 
2012-07-21 12:30:58 PM  
media.tumblr.com

media.tumblr.com

media.tumblr.com

24.media.tumblr.com

i49.tinypic.com

Gotta catch em all?
 
2012-07-21 07:47:13 PM  

Endrick: [thepunchlineismachismo.com image 650x861]
[thepunchlineismachismo.com image 650x1028]


I would've taken the Golem.

/or any psychic Pokemon
 
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