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(The Daily Caller)   Romney promises to go down hard on porn   (dailycaller.com) divider line 67
    More: Scary, Mitt Romney, Attorney General John Ashcroft, Eugene Volokh, UCLA School of Law, group sex, Patrick Trueman, Morality in Media  
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8192 clicks; posted to Politics » on 20 Jul 2012 at 2:41 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-07-19 09:37:05 PM
19 votes:

revrendjim: Also, Mormons don't masturbate. Ever.


They just retroactively ejaculate.
2012-07-20 03:45:12 AM
8 votes:
We could ask Ann Romney about this but she's had such a hard day she's taking a long bath and reading "50 Shades of Grey" with that special neck massager that makes the house lights dim when she turns it on.
2012-07-20 10:35:16 AM
6 votes:
img443.imageshack.us
2012-07-20 06:56:51 AM
6 votes:
i759.photobucket.com
2012-07-19 11:18:32 PM
5 votes:

Well, it's been fun, Mittens. Nice knowin' ya.

This little pet cause of yours just cost you the 2012 Presidential election. What are you going to do now?

www.valuewalk.com
I'm goin' to the Tiki Theater with Fred Willard!
2012-07-19 09:16:22 PM
5 votes:
Aaaaaaand he just might have motivated every single college student out there.
2012-07-20 11:12:54 AM
4 votes:
Hard. Wet. Bad.
2012-07-20 03:15:48 AM
4 votes:

Loucifer: Limited access to porn is the leading cause of terrorism.


Case in point:

Syria: Strict Muslim country, so no bacon, no beer, and no porn.

U.S.A.: Many religions, bacon and beer are allowed by most, porn is available to all.

The next time a suicide bomber blows up his car in a crowded market, which country do you think he'll be in?

People don't have the energy to want to be terrorists after they've had a plate of tasty delicious bacon and a bedtime yank. It's what keeps America safe.

Why doesn't Mitt Romney want America to be safe? Does Mitt Romney hate America? I'm just asking questions.
2012-07-20 03:13:16 AM
4 votes:
"You don't go after your neighbor who happens to get a magazine in the mail," he explained.


What if ... uh ... my neighbor ... happens to get 23 magazines, a ferret, and I can't believe it's not butter in the mail every week, can I be prosecuted then?
2012-07-20 03:06:15 AM
4 votes:
Good. There is entirely too much perversion on the internet. People who watch that filth are destroying their mind and their soul , many of you farkers included. You don't even realize the damage it's doing because of its addictive and insidious nature.

I'm glad Romney will finally do something about it.
2012-07-20 02:37:34 AM
4 votes:
...From my cold, dead, extremely sticky hands
2012-07-19 10:47:52 PM
4 votes:
I can't fap to this.
2012-07-19 09:32:39 PM
4 votes:
Mormons are so opposed to porn that the state with the highest per-capita rate of downloading porn is.....Utah.

Also, Mormons don't masturbate. Ever. Swear to God.
2012-07-19 09:14:00 PM
4 votes:
Obama really needs to win in November. I don't like being outraged, much less outraged for four year with the crazy shiat Romney wants to do with the country. Republicans like being outraged all the time, they listen to Rush Limbaugh, after all. Republicans should vote for Obama too.
2012-07-20 03:48:41 PM
3 votes:
Good fun, there is a Mormon bubbling generator!

Here is what happens when you go Saudi with it!

i.imgur.com
2012-07-20 03:06:48 AM
3 votes:
"If you took porn off the internet, there'd be just one website called 'bringbacktheporn.com.'"

-Dr. Perry Cox
2012-07-19 09:14:55 PM
3 votes:
No, no, anything but the porn! NOOOOOOO!
2012-07-20 10:46:10 AM
2 votes:
So he wants to outsource another industry?
2012-07-20 10:39:21 AM
2 votes:
Eliminate porn and the entire internet could be stored on a Colecovision cartridge.
2012-07-20 08:33:14 AM
2 votes:
i291.photobucket.com
2012-07-20 07:52:23 AM
2 votes:

spongeboob: LarryDan43: Romney will let us keep our guns and bibles, but he's taking our porn, our beer, our Sunday sports, and he's giving us an updated bible.

Shouldn't that be second Bible?


I believe technically it's called Jesus fan fiction.
2012-07-20 06:32:12 AM
2 votes:
regretfulmorning.com
regretfulmorning.com
assets.pornsfw.com

/retroactively of course
2012-07-20 05:57:08 AM
2 votes:

wildcardjack: Porn isn't keeping me single. A history of crazy girlfriends and a county DA who got a murder conviction against a man when his runaway prone manic depressive wife went missing just makes me a little leery.

And if it turned out that Romney was opposed to illegal porn downloads it could be just as terrifying, with broad powers turned to the topic and every male's computer being subject to seizure just incase you had illegally downloaded porn.

/I'm working on a way out of this crazy place.
//Could someone suggest a town where the women ain't crazy?


In Portland and Seattle the guys are alllllmost as crazy as the chicks, so you don't notice so much.
2012-07-20 03:19:48 AM
2 votes:

revrendjim: Mormons are so opposed to porn that the state with the highest per-capita rate of downloading porn is.....Utah.


Where God's elect are gathered, Satan tries his hardest to corrupt them. This is obvious- the Lord's most valiant servants in these Latter Days are subject to temptation never before seen in history. God's work and his glory is to bring about the eternal life of man, and now that the priesthood has been restored, Satan wants so badly to stop the work from going forward.

It's heartbreaking to hear how priesthood holders so quickly fall prey to this addiction- it often leads to greater sins such as murmuring, then to questioning the brethren, and then into apostasy.. All because of these temptations to sin.

I would be truly ungrateful if I didn't take this opportunity to stand before you today and bear my testimony- that I KNOW with every fiber of my being that the gospel is true, and that man may become closer to God by abiding by its precepts. I'm so grateful to have been brought here to earth to be tested, and know that through the power of prayer, through obedience to the laws and ordinances of the priesthood, we too can share in eternal life with our families. I pray for those of you whose lives have been shattered by the spiritual sickness pornography brings. I say these things to you in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
2012-07-20 03:10:11 AM
2 votes:

Yuri Futanari: People who watch that filth are destroying their mind and their soul


Wait a minute, are you talking about porn, or fox news?
2012-07-20 03:09:25 AM
2 votes:
Limited access to porn is the leading cause of terrorism.
2012-07-20 03:05:01 AM
2 votes:
If anything, Mitt spanks it to images of the Octomom! after all, isn't a women who can birth 8 children at once the ultimate Mormon wet dream!

All kidding aside, I'm starting to think that Mitt is intentionally throwing the election, whats he going to come out against next, Football?
2012-07-20 02:55:02 AM
2 votes:
Meese Commission 2: Electric Fapaloo?

Is Romney just trying to lose now?

/From my cold dead sticky hands, Mittens!
2012-07-20 01:05:44 AM
2 votes:

themindiswatching: Actually, there's a significant number of people who have gotten addicted to Internet porn, and it's mostly because our brains aren't adapted to it. Doesn't mean we should ban it though.


BS. People get "hooked" on internet porn because it's a hell of a lot easier and cheaper than snagging a girlfriend. Now excuse me while I go fap to some internet porn.
2012-07-20 12:39:53 AM
2 votes:

themindiswatching: Actually, there's a significant number of people who have gotten addicted to Internet porn, and it's mostly because our brains aren't adapted to it. Doesn't mean we should ban it though.


Hell no. If anything, our lack of adaptation means we need more of it.

Of course, then you run the risk of humanity getting bored with porn. And then what happens? What's our next obsession as a species?

Pokemon.
2012-07-19 10:45:08 PM
2 votes:
Romney just declared war on theimg1.fark.net tag.

This is a battle he cannot win.
2012-07-19 09:34:59 PM
2 votes:
So there's no Mormon porn out there? I would think with their penchant for multiple wives and eternal sexual submission that these things would pretty much write themselves.
2012-07-20 04:46:49 PM
1 votes:
You can have my porn when you pry if from my cold, dead, hairy palms
2012-07-20 03:55:36 PM
1 votes:

coeyagi: Good fun, there is a Mormon bubbling generator!

Here is what happens when you go Saudi with it!

[i.imgur.com image 600x420]


Fark you man! I'm at work. I can nearly see that girl's hair. Now I'm going to have to hope IT isn't monitoring me today.
2012-07-20 10:50:56 AM
1 votes:

fringedmyotis: Yeah, well I'll bet that chicken porn will stay 100% legal.


Does a bloody handful of semen-stained feathers really qualify as "porn"?
2012-07-20 10:49:05 AM
1 votes:
Yeah, well I'll bet that chicken porn will stay 100% legal.
2012-07-20 10:38:39 AM
1 votes:
sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net

Nicely played.
2012-07-20 10:16:06 AM
1 votes:

Musikslayer: FIDoAlmighty82: I love the pro-business anti-porn types expressing a desire to control a billion dollar industry. But then the US has always been coy when it comes to sex: we like it, want it, and can never get enough titillation, but then condemn it and try to control it. Except for Rmoney, I'd believe that uptight moron has never had sex and used IVF to get his wife pregnant because sex was 'icky'.

I bet Rmoney likes the midget porn. Makes him feel like a bigger man.


'Oh yes...spin on me baby! Who's the greatest lover ever? I am you farking midget pleb!'

I put way too much thought into that.
2012-07-20 10:14:27 AM
1 votes:
"Well, we are trailing among blacks, hispanics, women, drinkers, smokers, potheads, the young, the unemployed, and the disabled."

"Gosh darn it all to heck! Is there any group that actually likes us?"

"Well...we are doing okay with male loners."

"Awesome! Let's stamp out pornography!"
2012-07-20 10:09:41 AM
1 votes:

Cletus C.: So, Romney plans to buy the porn industry?


He only has enough money to buy the gay porn industry, NTTAWWT.
2012-07-20 10:06:06 AM
1 votes:
2.bp.blogspot.com


Yeah, well, I'm gonna go build my own political party! With blackjack! And hookers! In fact, forget the party!
2012-07-20 09:59:41 AM
1 votes:
I will never understand why any man would vote for the Blue-nose party of the Republicans. Between the porn, attempts to outlaw MMA fighting, being against recreational drugs, poker and prostitution, and attempts to outlaw birth control and abortion, the Republicans are against everything that makes life fun for men. Want to imagine what Republicans want your life to be? Imagine two hours of church followed by a round of golf. That's the Republican idea of the good life.
2012-07-20 09:47:44 AM
1 votes:

Lost Thought 00: Mercutio74: Plus, how do you stop the internet?

The Great American Firewall


It's visible from cyberspace!
2012-07-20 09:29:01 AM
1 votes:

quatchi: According to a very informative GIS for 'Mormon Pr0n" there is apparently a process called "bubbling" which makes otherwise tame pics into "mormon porn".


Whoa, clever, if not completely deranged...you think Romney takes advantage of the bubbling loophole like he does tax loopholes?
2012-07-20 08:57:11 AM
1 votes:
They're sexualizing women who do not intend to be sexually provocative. Instead of being perverts, why not just look at the women who want to be sexually provocative?

Imagine walking around a park and holding up some fingers close to your eyes to make it appear as if women were running around naked. Don't you think the average person might see a problem with that?

Mormon Guy: "Look at this awesome picture of a naked girl" *shows bubble porn*
Normal Guy: "That's my sister, and she was wearing a bathing suit in that picture you farking asshole."

It's official: Mormon porn is actually more perverted then normal porn.
2012-07-20 06:58:50 AM
1 votes:

jules_siegel: stoli n coke: The next time a suicide bomber blows up his car in a crowded market, which country do you think he'll be in?

Colorado?


I stand corrected. Thanks a lot, movie theater dickhead.

Although I'll go out on a limb and say that shooter probably hadn't gotten laid in a looooooooooooooonnnnnggg time.
2012-07-20 06:32:06 AM
1 votes:

randomjsa: The problem you run to here is that back when pron production companies were being prosecuted...

People were going to jail and companies were going out of business.

But surely they couldn't have been doing anything... wrong or illegal... No no, clearly this is just a witch hunt.

If what you're doing is legal then its protected by the Constitution so what are you worried about?


Because communities decided to each establish their own version of obscenity laws to circumvent the production company's first amendment rights.

Wait a minute, are you actually IN FAVOR of governments imposing their will on small businessmen and women who are running a business that is constitutional?

Some conservative you are, randomjsa/libbynomore2/stewmadness
2012-07-20 06:22:31 AM
1 votes:

randomjsa: The problem you run to here is that back when pron production companies were being prosecuted...

People were going to jail and companies were going out of business.

But surely they couldn't have been doing anything... wrong or illegal... No no, clearly this is just a witch hunt.

If what you're doing is legal then its protected by the Constitution so what are you worried about?


Because no one has ever been arrested and wrongly convicted due to some sort of witch hunt.

/I swear you could write a frigging textbook on uncritical thinking skills.
2012-07-20 06:19:27 AM
1 votes:
Man, Cman keeps getting demoted on my troll list, he keeps saying sensible things! I think maybe he had a brain hemorrhage in the troll cortex.
2012-07-20 04:20:14 AM
1 votes:

Nobodyn0se: YOU CAN HAVE MY PORN WHEN YOU PRY IT FROM MY COLD, DEAD, CALLOUSED HANDS!


May I show something in a lubricating, soothing balm for those overworked palms?
2012-07-20 03:35:54 AM
1 votes:
Cool, Mitt. Let's ship all the porn production/distribution jobs overseas.
2012-07-20 03:29:43 AM
1 votes:
It's not like I need the image in my head. At any rate, porn isn't in danger. Romney will flip-flop as soon as a few pornographers grease his palms (with a few bucks).
2012-07-20 03:17:38 AM
1 votes:

Virulency: is he trying to piss off the entire internet?


Does he know what the internet is?
2012-07-20 03:15:06 AM
1 votes:
Campaign Advisor Wheatley: Well, we've already lost the entire female vote. Might as well lose the entire male vote as well.
2012-07-20 03:07:15 AM
1 votes:

Yuri Futanari: Good. There is entirely too much perversion on the internet. People who watch that filth are destroying their mind and their soul , many of you farkers included. You don't even realize the damage it's doing because of its addictive and insidious nature.

I'm glad Romney will finally do something about it.


Post of the year, right here.
2012-07-20 03:01:10 AM
1 votes:

miss diminutive: So there's no Mormon porn out there? I would think with their penchant for multiple wives and eternal sexual submission that these things would pretty much write themselves.


[challenge accepted]

According to a very informative GIS for 'Mormon Pr0n" there is apparently a process called "bubbling" which makes otherwise tame pics into "mormon porn".

i293.photobucket.com
2012-07-20 02:56:49 AM
1 votes:
The porn industry makes around 4 billion dollars a year. Time to start contributing to Obama.
2012-07-20 02:55:41 AM
1 votes:

revrendjim: Mormons are so opposed to porn that the state with the highest per-capita rate of downloading porn is.....Utah.

Also, Mormons don't masturbate. Ever. Swear to God.


While I would be perfectly content to have this statement be true... doesn't it deserve a "citationneeded.jpg" ?
2012-07-20 02:47:41 AM
1 votes:
No shiat they're the party of small government. It's got to be small enough to fit into every bedroom, pair of drawers and vagina.
2012-07-20 02:44:36 AM
1 votes:

dopeydwarf: themindiswatching: Actually, there's a significant number of people who have gotten addicted to Internet porn, and it's mostly because our brains aren't adapted to it. Doesn't mean we should ban it though.

BS. People get "hooked" on internet porn because it's a hell of a lot easier and cheaper than snagging a girlfriend. Now excuse me while I go fap to some internet porn.


encrypted-tbn3.google.com
2012-07-20 02:44:06 AM
1 votes:
Dammit! Do I have to go back to Sear's underwear mags again?
2012-07-20 01:21:58 AM
1 votes:
Yet another batch of hate-filled moralists out to repress in others that which they loathe and must defeat in themselves.
2012-07-20 12:30:32 AM
1 votes:
I imagine this will be as successful as the war on drugs.
2012-07-19 10:57:30 PM
1 votes:

teto85: Well, there goes San Francisco's votes.

San Francisco, where the "Conservative" running for County Supervisor in 2010 was a pre-op trans-sexual adult bookstore owner.


Small business-owner/job creator. I can see it.
2012-07-19 10:57:19 PM
1 votes:

WI241TH: Is this what you're looking for?(NSFW just to be safe, but it probably isn't)


Those bubbles are extremely obscene, I'll have you know!
2012-07-19 10:36:16 PM
1 votes:

miss diminutive: So there's no Mormon porn out there? I would think with their penchant for multiple wives and eternal sexual submission that these things would pretty much write themselves.


Is this what you're looking for?(NSFW just to be safe, but it probably isn't)
2012-07-19 09:42:08 PM
1 votes:
I dont trust anything that comes from the Romney campaign.

This asshole will tell the person what they want to hear.

Romney could give two shiats about porn. He just wants their votes, just like all the other flip-flopping bullshiat that comes from his mouth.
 
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