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    More: Weird, Internet meme, pressure sensor, Ig Nobel Prizes, actuators, shapeshifting, long-distance relationship, Mr. Potato Head, The Man With Two Brains  
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23430 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jul 2012 at 8:45 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



114 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2012-07-19 06:57:54 PM  
That is HORRIFIC.
 
2012-07-19 08:46:44 PM  
Didn't Howard make one on TBBT?
 
2012-07-19 08:47:12 PM  
OH, HELL NO!!!
 
2012-07-19 08:48:10 PM  
LOL WUT?!!?!
 
2012-07-19 08:48:15 PM  
Looks more like some sort of joke. Not practical in the least.
 
2012-07-19 08:49:14 PM  
...and on that glorious day, long-distance relationships were saved from being silly and forever doomed!
 
2012-07-19 08:49:22 PM  
Ummm that's not creepy at all.
 
2012-07-19 08:50:17 PM  
images.cheezburger.com
 
2012-07-19 08:51:04 PM  
It'd be less weird to have that on a Real Doll, just kissing a sex toy, than to kiss long distance with it.

/Me thinks
 
2012-07-19 08:51:18 PM  
Uuuummm... how deep is that mouth?

/Just wondering...
 
2012-07-19 08:51:47 PM  

crypticsatellite: That is HORRIFIC.


Agreed,
With all the tech savvy skiz we have, we're still like 5 years away from being able to send a loved one, or a Craig's List hook up a beeg at the click of a button?
Outrage!
 
2012-07-19 08:51:48 PM  
I'm pretty sure this device would be more popular if they'd only included a mechanical tongue and a very deep throat.
 
2012-07-19 08:52:35 PM  
how was it I knew right away this was from Japan?
 
2012-07-19 08:52:59 PM  
i1126.photobucket.com
 
2012-07-19 08:53:09 PM  
What happens if I stick my dick in it?
 
2012-07-19 08:53:37 PM  
web.mit.edu
 
2012-07-19 08:54:47 PM  
I think I'm in love.
 
2012-07-19 08:55:29 PM  
I laughed too, too hard at this once I clicked the article.

+1, subby, you magnificent bastard!
 
2012-07-19 08:55:41 PM  

consider this: What happens if I stick my dick in it?


Same thing that happens whenever you do that to women.

It asks if it's in yet, then starts to laugh.
 
2012-07-19 08:56:12 PM  
Of course it's Asian. Why wouldn't it be Asian.
 
2012-07-19 08:56:26 PM  

consider this: What happens if I stick my dick in it?


Baby come out.
 
2012-07-19 08:56:40 PM  
What the fark? We still haven't truly, fully cured all cancers yet, there are people dying of AIDS, people dying of hunger and people dying at the hands of other people. We have children born to parents that do not want them and parents that abort their children for the most flippant of reasons. I'm sure for every serious problem I could list, there are in fact orders of magnitudes more. And so in light of that, I have to plead for my own sanity...why the fark would anybody spend valuable scientific money on this?
 
2012-07-19 08:56:56 PM  
www.lolwut.com
 
2012-07-19 08:57:08 PM  

consider this: What happens if I stick my dick in it?


I'll let someone else go first...

/zzzzap
 
2012-07-19 08:57:17 PM  
That thing sure does have a purty mouth.
 
2012-07-19 08:58:38 PM  
Reminds me of Howard the Duck.
 
2012-07-19 09:00:15 PM  
I'll pay $20 bucks extra if they put a tongue with it.
 
2012-07-19 09:01:36 PM  

MrHappyRotter: What the fark? We still haven't truly, fully cured all cancers yet, there are people dying of AIDS, people dying of hunger and people dying at the hands of other people. We have children born to parents that do not want them and parents that abort their children for the most flippant of reasons. I'm sure for every serious problem I could list, there are in fact orders of magnitudes more. And so in light of that, I have to plead for my own sanity...why the fark would anybody spend valuable scientific money on this?


ummmm, to amuse us?
 
2012-07-19 09:04:13 PM  
Well now there goes any excuse for any IT workers on overtime to go home.

/Your wife's waiting at home? Go suck an egg. No, I mean it.
 
2012-07-19 09:05:15 PM  
Umm someone already took it to the next level well over a decade ago.
http://www.welookdoyou.com/fufme/inde x.shtml.html

/sfw? Hard to say...
//no link. Why yes im lazy, why do you ask?
 
2012-07-19 09:05:47 PM  

mycathatesyou: Didn't Howard make one on TBBT?


Yup
 
2012-07-19 09:06:11 PM  
Is this supposed to be satire?
 
2012-07-19 09:07:28 PM  
Jury's still out? I'll wait and see what kind of reviews it gets on Amazon.
 
2012-07-19 09:07:51 PM  
The device is a prototype and Samani says it will not be commercialised until "all the ethical and technical considerations are covered". He adds: "I am not interested in sexual uses for it."

sex is not ethical? screw ethics then!
 
2012-07-19 09:12:21 PM  
d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net
 
2012-07-19 09:12:27 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: I laughed too, too hard at this once I clicked the article.

+1, subby, you magnificent bastard!


But the thing is.... well... it .... kinda.... okay fine it's funny.
 
2012-07-19 09:13:49 PM  
static.tvguide.com
 
2012-07-19 09:18:16 PM  
WAHOO!!!! MY FIRST GREEN!! MAINPAGE!!!!!

/cruise control for cool
 
2012-07-19 09:20:47 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: I laughed too, too hard at this once I clicked the article.

+1, subby, you magnificent bastard!


High praise from TMLO.... I thank you, Sir
 
2012-07-19 09:21:03 PM  
Reminds me of a Behelit. You know, that thing from Berserk that summons the five rulers of Hell?
 
2012-07-19 09:21:31 PM  
Thanks a lot for the nightmare fuel,subby.
 
2012-07-19 09:22:21 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2012-07-19 09:23:00 PM  
The implications for the internet porn industry are staggering.
 
2012-07-19 09:26:45 PM  

MrHappyRotter: What the fark? We still haven't truly, fully cured all cancers yet, there are people dying of AIDS, people dying of hunger and people dying at the hands of other people. We have children born to parents that do not want them and parents that abort their children for the most flippant of reasons. I'm sure for every serious problem I could list, there are in fact orders of magnitudes more. And so in light of that, I have to plead for my own sanity...why the fark would anybody spend valuable scientific money on this?


Because there is no telling where discovery will come from? Granted this particular device seems silly and likely isn't going to be the next x-ray, but that doesn't mean that odd or fringe projects that aren't in response to a problem or have no practical applications shouldn't be pursued. Let corporations, scientists and engineers create freely, there's no telling what it could lead to (a better pressure sensor, cheaper biometal fibers , robot love slaves, etc...)
 
2012-07-19 09:27:56 PM  

mycathatesyou: Didn't Howard make one on TBBT?


Yep.
 
2012-07-19 09:28:32 PM  
imgboot.com
 
2012-07-19 09:31:54 PM  

Yuri Futanari: MrHappyRotter: What the fark? We still haven't truly, fully cured all cancers yet, there are people dying of AIDS, people dying of hunger and people dying at the hands of other people. We have children born to parents that do not want them and parents that abort their children for the most flippant of reasons. I'm sure for every serious problem I could list, there are in fact orders of magnitudes more. And so in light of that, I have to plead for my own sanity...why the fark would anybody spend valuable scientific money on this?

Because there is no telling where discovery will come from? Granted this particular device seems silly and likely isn't going to be the next x-ray, but that doesn't mean that odd or fringe projects that aren't in response to a problem or have no practical applications shouldn't be pursued. Let corporations, scientists and engineers create freely, there's no telling what it could lead to (a better pressure sensor, cheaper biometal fibers , robot love slaves, etc...)


I agree wholeheartedly and I would even take it a step further and add that we should also let the bankers create freely because there's no telling what it could lead to.
 
2012-07-19 09:31:59 PM  

An egg with giant lips?
oi46.tinypic.com
How horrible.

 
2012-07-19 09:33:13 PM  

consider this: What happens if I stick my dick in it?


Rule # 34.
 
2012-07-19 09:35:12 PM  

I. R. Rottweiler: Uuuummm... how deep is that mouth?

/Just wondering...



That's not really important, is it? The big questions are 'Does it have a drain hole?' & 'Is it dishwasher safe?'
 
2012-07-19 09:35:23 PM  
i49.tinypic.com
 
2012-07-19 09:36:32 PM  

adeist69: I. R. Rottweiler: Uuuummm... how deep is that mouth?

/Just wondering...


That's not really important, is it? The big questions are 'Does it have a drain hole?' & 'Is it dishwasher safe?'


I don't think it even has a hole period. The fleshlight people will have to get a hold of it before we see that version.
 
2012-07-19 09:37:10 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
gja
2012-07-19 09:38:11 PM  
I will hold the door for you.......

encrypted-tbn3.google.com
 
2012-07-19 09:38:41 PM  

Joliebleu: But the thing is.... well... it .... kinda.... okay fine it's funny.


I'm not saying that it DOESN'T have potential for nightmare fuel (I agree with what Apos said earlier)... but it *is* hilarious!


Thanks for the Meme-ries: WAHOO!!!! MY FIRST GREEN!! MAINPAGE!!!!!

/cruise control for cool


Kudos, mammajamma!


Thanks for the Meme-ries: High praise from TMLO.... I thank you, Sir


Any damn time, dude.

*tips hat*

Cheers!
 
2012-07-19 09:39:17 PM  

The Voice of Doom: i.imgur.com


MaudlinMutantMollusk: i49.tinypic.com


HAHAHAHA
 
2012-07-19 09:39:50 PM  
Paint the egg black... and see if it sings, "Michael Rennie was ill the Day the Earth Stood Still, but he told us, where we stand..."

/KISS IT, VIRGIN!! KISS IT!!
 
2012-07-19 09:40:48 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: I'm not saying that it DOESN'T have potential for nightmare fuel (I agree with what Apos said earlier)... but it *is* hilarious!


I fear the kind of stranger that would send a kiss via such a device... I did giggle when I thought of naming it Henry though, I am odd.
 
2012-07-19 09:43:00 PM  
Unveiled at the Designing Interactive Systems conference in Newcastle, UK, in June, Kissenger comprises a pair of pressure-sensitive soft plastic lips which protrude through a smooth plastic casing the size of a large Easter egg.

Um... Nothing named "Kissenger" will ever touch my lips. The inevitable mental association would not be pleasant.

Also, I think you meant that it's the shape of a large Easter egg. Anything larger than an average Easter egg is the size of a large Easter egg. A brick, for example, or a gila monster, or your mom. And anyway, why an Easter egg, as opposed to just, you know, an egg? An Easter egg is distinguished from a non-Easter egg by neither its shape nor its size, but rather by virtue of being decorated, which this object is not (a creepy-ass set of robotic lips does not qualify). The thing has the shape of a large egg. Even the word large isn't a good decriptive choice, because in the context of eggs, it denotes a specific size range far smaller than the... than the Kissenger, as I suppose I must call it. So it is the size of an ostrich egg, then, or an emu egg, or whatever kind of egg best fits. That would probably give most of your readers there at the NewScientist a good idea of how big the Kissenger is, but to be sure, maybe you should just say that it is shaped like an eight-inch egg or whatever.

/ I may have too much time on my hands
 
2012-07-19 09:45:15 PM  
I'll look at this technology again when they get to blowjob level sophistication.
 
2012-07-19 09:45:24 PM  
Kissing device lets you send a long-distance smooch

Can I send it around the world to myself?
i2.kym-cdn.comC
 
2012-07-19 09:46:05 PM  

Joliebleu: I fear the kind of stranger that would send a kiss via such a device... I did giggle when I thought of naming it Henry though, I am odd.


It seems like it would have to have a weirder name, you know?

Something like... Benedict Cumberbatch.
 
2012-07-19 09:49:26 PM  
People laughed at my idea of an SNMP controlled glove so people could wank you off over the Internet, now this clown stands to make millions.
My wanking gloce is almost complete, I just need to figure out the robotial and electrical and coding stuff to make it work.
 
2012-07-19 09:49:28 PM  
I understand completely.
 
2012-07-19 09:50:22 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: It seems like it would have to have a weirder name, you know?

Something like... Benedict Cumberbatch.


While Benedict Comberbatch is a respectable name, I have learned the weirder the object/person the more normal the name.
 
2012-07-19 10:00:30 PM  
I forgot what I was going to say.
 
2012-07-19 10:04:49 PM  
Now if I could just remotely punch the nads of the inventor...
 
2012-07-19 10:11:59 PM  

Lanadapter: I understand completely.


i291.photobucket.com

BTW - warning GIS'ing "i understand completely" with safe-search off.... Nightmare fuel on image 5
 
2012-07-19 10:12:16 PM  

Howser: My wanking glove


i830.photobucket.com

"It's so bad."
 
2012-07-19 10:16:26 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Joliebleu: But the thing is.... well... it .... kinda.... okay fine it's funny.

I'm not saying that it DOESN'T have potential for nightmare fuel (I agree with what Apos said earlier)... but it *is* hilarious!


I admit to being both amused and horrified.
 
2012-07-19 10:18:05 PM  
want one
 
2012-07-19 10:41:01 PM  
FTFA:

The device is a prototype and Samani says it will not be commercialised until "all the ethical and technical considerations are covered". He adds: "I am not interested in sexual uses for it."

Yeah. Right.
 
2012-07-19 10:44:59 PM  
Let me know when it can do blow jobs. I've got a lot of telemarketers to call.
 
2012-07-19 10:50:48 PM  
I think adding a tongue would have been a good business move.
 
2012-07-19 10:54:59 PM  
hackedgadgets.com

Sheeeeeeit.
 
2012-07-19 11:06:26 PM  
Thanks for the Meme-ries: BTW - warning GIS'ing "i understand completely" with safe-search off.... Nightmare fuel on image 5

But page 4 with the yoga stretch name I cannot remember for the life of me..

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLLLLLLLLlllllllllllllllllllllllllll.............. . .........
 
2012-07-19 11:17:02 PM  
www.nerdist.com

I'm so.... jesus tittyfarking christ, what IS THAT THING???
 
2012-07-19 11:18:06 PM  
Next, we can get authiinticated this way, unless there is a man in the middle attack.....
 
2012-07-19 11:25:42 PM  

Fista-Phobia: [hackedgadgets.com image 850x478]

Sheeeeeeit.


W.T.F.
 
2012-07-19 11:26:01 PM  
We already have technology that can transmit boobs via email.
 
2012-07-19 11:26:32 PM  
encrypted-tbn1.google.com

LOL WUT
 
2012-07-19 11:33:42 PM  
img833.imageshack.us
 
2012-07-19 11:34:45 PM  
img41.imageshack.us
 
2012-07-19 11:36:43 PM  

Mad-n-FL: consider this: What happens if I stick my dick in it?

I'll let someone else go first...

/zzzzap


Everyone is creeped out by this thing and you want sloppy seconds? gross man i would never...ok, line starts after me
/for science
 
2012-07-19 11:38:59 PM  
Looks pouty.

A pouty potato egg.

www.newscientist.com
 
2012-07-19 11:45:21 PM  

Fista-Phobia: [hackedgadgets.com image 850x478]

Sheeeeeeit.


You know how hard it is to repress memories? Fark you, buddy!
 
2012-07-19 11:55:02 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org
"My other face is a General Veers!"

/Obscure
 
2012-07-19 11:56:06 PM  
Kiss my egg.
 
2012-07-20 12:05:50 AM  

AppleOptionEsc: Fista-Phobia: [hackedgadgets.com image 850x478]

Sheeeeeeit.

You know how hard it is to repress memories? Fark you, buddy!


rappy: Fista-Phobia: [hackedgadgets.com image 850x478]

Sheeeeeeit.

W.T.F.


Wait until you HEAR IT AND SEE IT MOVE (clicky pops)
 
2012-07-20 12:26:30 AM  
www.newscientist.comwww.robotvsbadger.com
 
2012-07-20 12:34:08 AM  

MrHappyRotter: What the fark? We still haven't truly, fully cured all cancers yet, there are people dying of AIDS, people dying of hunger and people dying at the hands of other people. We have children born to parents that do not want them and parents that abort their children for the most flippant of reasons. I'm sure for every serious problem I could list, there are in fact orders of magnitudes more. And so in light of that, I have to plead for my own sanity...why the fark would anybody spend valuable scientific money on this?


Because f*ck you, thats why
 
2012-07-20 12:43:36 AM  

Thanks for the Meme-ries: Lanadapter: I understand completely.

[i291.photobucket.com image 350x328]

BTW - warning GIS'ing "i understand completely" with safe-search off.... Nightmare fuel on image 5


Just so you know. The result of this search has now changed, because you said this.

/sweet
/new meme?
 
2012-07-20 12:46:54 AM  
Reminds me of the FUFME. (NSFW)

Windows 95/98/NT compatible!
 
2012-07-20 12:48:09 AM  
...

I've got nothing. Just... look at it. Good old fashioned nightmare fuel.
 
2012-07-20 01:24:17 AM  
That is the strangest pair of pants I've ever seen.
 
2012-07-20 01:33:10 AM  
i.imgur.com

Obscure?
 
2012-07-20 02:00:51 AM  

Alleyoop: [www.newscientist.com image 300x229][www.robotvsbadger.com image 300x222]


You're an apple
 
2012-07-20 02:02:54 AM  

Thanks for the Meme-ries: AppleOptionEsc: Fista-Phobia: [hackedgadgets.com image 850x478]

Sheeeeeeit.

You know how hard it is to repress memories? Fark you, buddy!

rappy: Fista-Phobia: [hackedgadgets.com image 850x478]

Sheeeeeeit.

W.T.F.

Wait until you HEAR IT AND SEE IT MOVE (clicky pops)


CANNOT UNSEE

I find that more disturbing than seeing Ronald Poppo's face post-snack. Congratulations, that was truly distressing.
 
2012-07-20 02:03:22 AM  
Came for Big Bang Theory reference.


UNGH!
 
2012-07-20 02:33:24 AM  

wookiemonster: [upload.wikimedia.org image 365x274]
"My other face is a General Veers!"

/Obscure


Nothing is obscure on Fark. Even the last of the Jagaroth.

/goodbye Duggan!
 
2012-07-20 02:37:45 AM  

I. R. Rottweiler: Uuuummm... how deep is that mouth?

/Just wondering...


probably just a few millimeters, you should have more than enough to spare.
 
2012-07-20 03:22:06 AM  
i50.tinypic.com
 
2012-07-20 03:27:18 AM  

Howser: People laughed at my idea of an SNMP controlled glove so people could wank you off over the Internet, now this clown stands to make millions.
My wanking gloce is almost complete, I just need to figure out the robotial and electrical and coding stuff to make it work.


Once the people on each end "get in time" with each other, it would be epic!
 
2012-07-20 04:50:25 AM  
0-media-cdn.foolz.us
Kisu Raptor: I know someone out there has a raptor on hand. Make it happen!!!
 
2012-07-20 07:27:49 AM  
onfinite.com
 
2012-07-20 07:51:13 AM  

ZoSo_the_Crowe: Obscure?


Not quite.

Got a smile out of me, though...
=Smidge=
 
2012-07-20 08:14:35 AM  
www.threadbombing.com
 
2012-07-20 10:10:40 AM  

Thanks for the Meme-ries: FIRST GREEN


Kudos, I lol'd repeatedly
 
2012-07-20 12:40:55 PM  
What is this I don't even.
 
2012-07-20 02:14:48 PM  

wookiemonster: [upload.wikimedia.org image 365x274]
"My other face is a General Veers!"

/Obscure


He also has a Grand Master Pycelle face
 
2012-07-20 07:01:08 PM  
Someone please get a beejer with it and report back ASAP.
 
2012-07-20 08:46:46 PM  
There is only animation and no actual video of that thing puckering up.
 
2012-07-21 06:45:58 AM  
Pucker up, buttercup!

images.wikia.com
 
2012-07-21 10:55:45 PM  
Thanks everyone.... You always remember your first time!
 
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