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(Slate)   Dear Prudence: My husband had sex with me while I was in a drunken state. Should I divorce him?   (slate.com ) divider line
    More: Asinine, Emily Yoffe, husband had sex, Ex-wife, prospectus  
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30164 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jul 2012 at 11:43 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-19 05:38:53 PM  
Prudie gets it right, for once: " Stop acting like a parody of a gender-studies course catalog and start acting like a loving wife. If you can't, then give the poor sap a divorce."
 
2012-07-19 05:41:47 PM  
What the hell is this train wreck?

Oh. A train wreck.

Woooohoooo! All aboard the train wreck thread!
 
2012-07-19 05:44:17 PM  
Good farking Christ, people actually think this way?

It's like a jetliner crashing into a train wreck during an earthquake and a flood.
 
2012-07-19 05:44:30 PM  
Why would you divorce him for the reason you're probably married to him?
 
2012-07-19 05:45:24 PM  
Wow. Biatch is crazy.
 
2012-07-19 05:49:58 PM  

GAT_00: Why would you divorce him for the reason you're probably married to him?


But she didn't say a thing about the money.
 
2012-07-19 05:52:11 PM  
t1.gstatic.com
 
2012-07-19 06:00:13 PM  
Dear Prudence:

Seems legit....
 
2012-07-19 06:00:46 PM  
I'm an easy lay when I drunk. Can I blame someone? Perhaps sue?
 
2012-07-19 06:01:17 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: Prudie gets it right, for once: " Stop acting like a parody of a gender-studies course catalog and start acting like a loving wife. If you can't, then give the poor sap a divorce."


Bingo.
 
2012-07-19 06:02:21 PM  
Woah, I'd better give up drinking.
 
2012-07-19 06:15:48 PM  
That letter *must* be fake, right?

/right?
 
2012-07-19 06:17:34 PM  

netizencain: I'm an easy lay when I drunk. Can I blame someone? Perhaps sue?


If not sue then surely barbara.
 
2012-07-19 06:22:56 PM  
You should definitely divorce him so he can be with someone sane.

That dude probably needs booze not to be terrified every waking minute.
 
2012-07-19 06:25:55 PM  
Pfffttt... who hasn't farked her when she was passed out drunk?
 
2012-07-19 06:27:08 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: netizencain: I'm an easy lay when I drunk. Can I blame someone? Perhaps sue?

If not sue then surely barbara.


Not barbara. And stop calling me shirley.
 
2012-07-19 06:28:23 PM  
Wouldn't it be funny if like five guys had sex with her while she was in a drunken state right now? Like right now?
 
2012-07-19 06:40:17 PM  

FloydA: Marcus Aurelius: netizencain: I'm an easy lay when I drunk. Can I blame someone? Perhaps sue?

If not sue then surely barbara.

Not barbara. And stop calling me shirley.


You don't sound like you had the fish.
 
2012-07-19 06:41:30 PM  

Shostie: Wouldn't it be funny if like five guys had sex with her while she was in a drunken state right now? Like right now?


That wasn't all that amusing the first time, Daniel.
 
2012-07-19 06:57:45 PM  
Sounds like she took advantage of her husbands imbibing to get all the hot sexing she wanted. She should be in jail for rape, jaywalking, and tampering with other people's mail.
 
2012-07-19 07:13:30 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: FloydA: Marcus Aurelius: netizencain: I'm an easy lay when I drunk. Can I blame someone? Perhaps sue?

If not sue then surely barbara.

Not barbara. And stop calling me shirley.

You don't sound like you had the fish.


Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.
 
2012-07-19 07:49:49 PM  
He later felt so bad he wanted to turn himself in for rape.

lolwut?

I was very confused and thought at times that I was overreacting and at others that I was raped.

Confused about your husband's desire for you sexually? Overreacting? And at others? Regardless of what you may have heard, glue isn't for sniffing, lady.
 
2012-07-19 08:42:14 PM  

BunkyBrewman: That letter *must* be fake, right?

/right?


Yeah, I think this is a fake too.
 
2012-07-19 09:09:03 PM  
~ Feminism.
 
2012-07-19 09:11:42 PM  
Stop acting like a parody of a gender-studies course catalog and start acting like a loving wife. If you can't, then give the poor sap a divorce.

Oh. Snap.

Marcus Aurelius: Good farking Christ, people actually think this way?

It's like a jetliner crashing into a train wreck during an earthquake and a flood.


At best, it's the "feminist" variety of Poe's Law. At worst, this shiat's for reals, yo.
 
2012-07-19 09:11:43 PM  
After coming back from a friend's wine tasting we went to bed and he started to kiss me. I liked it and went along, only to wake up in the morning and remember only half of it.

When I'm lucky enough to get it, most of my sexual escapades begin like this...

/what a coont.
 
2012-07-19 09:12:03 PM  
I don't drink, but do you know how many times my boyfriend and I have had sex when HE was in a drunken state? If he thought like this daffy biatch, we'd have broken up years ago. Or better yet, sometimes I like to wake him up by giving his twig and berries a little "how does it".....since he's asleep when I do it, and thus can't consent to the act, am I a rapist?

There's a difference between some frat douche getting a girl drunk and then taking her upstairs and forcing himself on her and your husband having sex with you after you've had a few. I don't discount that marital rape exists, but this isn't an example of marital rape.
 
2012-07-19 09:12:44 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: Good farking Christ, people actually think this way?

It's like a jetliner crashing into a train wreck during an earthquake and a flood.


You forgot the meteor impact.

And Jesus' Second Coming.

heh.

coming.
 
2012-07-19 09:13:45 PM  
Utah?
 
2012-07-19 09:24:36 PM  

Coco LaFemme: Or better yet, sometimes I like to wake him up by giving his twig and berries a little "how does it".....since he's asleep when I do it, and thus can't consent to the act, am I a rapist?


Well does he object once he wakes up? My guess would be nooooooooo.

Coco LaFemme: I don't discount that marital rape exists, but this isn't an example of marital rape.


You said something twice there. I saw it.
 
2012-07-19 09:35:56 PM  

miss diminutive: Well does he object once he wakes up? My guess would be nooooooooo.


My wife of 23 years has done this.. and yes it's scary when you wake up.. realizing it's your wife.
 
2012-07-19 09:36:10 PM  

miss diminutive: Coco LaFemme: Or better yet, sometimes I like to wake him up by giving his twig and berries a little "how does it".....since he's asleep when I do it, and thus can't consent to the act, am I a rapist?

Well does he object once he wakes up? My guess would be nooooooooo.


No, no he doesn't object. Why would he? I don't know too many guys who'd object to getting a blow job in the morning from their partner, be they gay or straight. I don't know too many women who'd object to getting oral in the morning either, now that I think about it. Rape isn't about sexual pleasure, it's about power and domination. If you're doing something to bring pleasure to the other person, whether they're drunk, asleep, or stone cold sober, that's not really rape, is it? I don't want to sound like I'm condoning taking advantage of someone when they're unable to consent to the act, because I've been raped, and it's not something I joke about or take lightly, but I have a hard time believing a husband and wife fooling around after they've had a few drinks is equal to someone dragging a person into an alley at gunpoint.

miss diminutive: Coco LaFemme: I don't discount that marital rape exists, but this isn't an example of marital rape.

You said something twice there. I saw it.


That wasn't intentional. I swear. LOL
 
2012-07-19 09:40:36 PM  

AlwaysRightBoy: miss diminutive: Well does he object once he wakes up? My guess would be nooooooooo.

My wife of 23 years has done this.. and yes it's scary when you wake up.. realizing it's your wife.


Who else would you expect it to be?
 
2012-07-19 09:46:47 PM  

miss diminutive: AlwaysRightBoy: miss diminutive: Well does he object once he wakes up? My guess would be nooooooooo.

My wife of 23 years has done this.. and yes it's scary when you wake up.. realizing it's your wife.

Who else would you expect it to be?


Bea Farking Arthur!!

/have never cheated on my wife.. But if I could of, I would have with Bea
 
2012-07-19 09:51:17 PM  
Isn't a wedding license official preemptive consent for most things for times when you would be intoxicated or otherwise unable to speak for yourself? That's why spouses can pull the plug on you if you're in a coma.
 
2012-07-19 09:56:38 PM  

doglover: Isn't a wedding license official preemptive consent for most things for times when you would be intoxicated or otherwise unable to speak for yourself? That's why spouses can pull the plug on you if you're in a coma.


Yes and no. Like I said, marital rape exists. Just because you're married doesn't mean you're entitled to sex, and can take it when you want it, regardless of what your spouse says. Doesn't matter if you're drunk or if you're not. If you say no, that's the end of it, and it goes no further. However, nothing like that was what the woman who wrote the letter said happened.
 
2012-07-19 10:00:55 PM  

doglover: Isn't a wedding license official preemptive consent for most things for times when you would be intoxicated or otherwise unable to speak for yourself? That's why spouses can pull the plug on you if you're in a coma.


Very true. One reason I always update my wife about my wishes, but also my family too.

Your spouse does have the upper hand for the plug though.
 
2012-07-19 10:07:59 PM  

Coco LaFemme: Just because you're married doesn't mean you're entitled to sex


Actually the code of Hammurabi is pretty clear on this and it would make divorces much easier. I agree it's not an on tap type arrangement and pulling a Blackbeard crosses many lines moral and legal, but if you don't put out, you should be kicked out of the contract.

Marriage is basically about sex. Take that away and what do you have? Love? That's not exclusive to marriage. Family names? You can change those. Possessions? Not exclusive. At the end of the day saying "I do." can be replaced with "Let's fark. A lot." and the whole thing still makes sense.
 
2012-07-19 10:09:43 PM  
I hate her.
I have no husband.
She biatches about hers getting naughty when she was drunk
She is a dumb whore that was going to leave him anyways
I would love a husband that would get naughty with me if I had been drinking.
It makes for awesome sex dreams later :-)
 
2012-07-19 10:38:59 PM  
Your prim, punctilious, punitive style has me admiring your put-upon husband's ability to even get it up, given the possibility he'll be accused of rape-or turn himself in for it!

NAILED IT.
 
2012-07-19 10:48:55 PM  
doglover:

Marriage is basically about sex. Take that away and what do you have? Love? That's not exclusive to marriage. Family names? You can change those. Possessions? Not exclusive. At the end of the day saying "I do." can be replaced with "Let's fark. A lot." and the whole thing still makes sense.

Um, no? Marriage is about sharing, and sometime sex is part of that sharing. The vows are not multiple choice.
 
2012-07-19 10:52:20 PM  
WTF? Girls are usually waaay more into when they're drunk. This b*tch sounds like she slips in and out of coma after a few glasses of wine...
 
2012-07-19 11:25:27 PM  
Dear Prude,
I am in fact confused about your changing policy on the definition of rape and want to know what it is this week. Is it still the one defined by prudish lesbians in the 90's?

Thanks,

A reader
 
2012-07-19 11:31:03 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: It's like a jetliner crashing into a train wreck during an earthquake and a flood.


img312.imageshack.us
 
2012-07-19 11:32:21 PM  
What a hypersensitive coont. Or subtle troll. Either way, what's her Fark handle?
 
2012-07-19 11:41:28 PM  
O.o WTF?

If you felt that this man, who is now your husband, was dangerous to your well being, WHY THE FARK WOULD YOU MARRY HIM?!?!?!?!?
 
2012-07-19 11:44:59 PM  

BunkyBrewman: That letter *must* be fake, right?

/right?


I can't tell. She should have added "and he railed me on the pinball table" so I could be more sure
 
2012-07-19 11:45:10 PM  
I love how the second "incident" was basically just her blacking out. Doesn't mean she didn't enjoy it, doesn't mean she wasn't aware of what's going on...just that she didn't remember it later.

The husband needs to start recording their endeavors. Then when she pulls this crap he can say, "Look...look at you, you slutty, sexy minx COME 'ERE YOU!"
 
2012-07-19 11:46:03 PM  

SpaceyCat: O.o WTF?

If you felt that this man, who is now your husband, was dangerous to your well being, WHY THE FARK WOULD YOU MARRY HIM?!?!?!?!?


She doesn't feel that. She feels guilty for liking slutty drunk sex. If she and her husband talked about it and maybe found a way to work it into their relationship, maybe they would both be happier.
 
2012-07-19 11:46:48 PM  
Some people are idiots.
 
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