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(Blisstree)   Good news: If you're tired of being molested by the TSA at the airport, you can now officially buy your way out of it   (openforum.com) divider line 113
    More: Asinine, TSA, border protection, regional airports, American Airlines, International Air Transport Association  
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18912 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jul 2012 at 9:03 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-19 10:16:14 PM

BSABSVR: I'm OK with this.


So am I, after our last trip we joined and got reimbursed so now we cruise right through while people biatch.

F*ck you common people!!!!
 
2012-07-19 10:18:47 PM

"Another slowdown is the infrequent traveler, unfamiliar with security procedures, who arrives wearing knee-high, lace-up boots..."


HEY!! I wear 10 eyelet boots and it's nothing to unlace the boots, not much worse than shoes. The issues are the rude TSA agents and the inconsistent policies. On the same itinerary through two different airports: at Logan, shoes go in the bins. I'm okay with that. At JFK, no shoes in the bins. I understand that also but they were real rude about telling you that you did things the wrong way.

 
2012-07-19 10:21:28 PM
Why wouldn't a terrorist just get a job as a TSA agent and let his buddies through?
 
2012-07-19 10:25:58 PM

skinink: "Another slowdown is the infrequent traveler, unfamiliar with security procedures, who arrives wearing knee-high, lace-up boots..."
HEY!! I wear 10 eyelet boots and it's nothing to unlace the boots, not much worse than shoes. The issues are the rude TSA agents and the inconsistent policies. On the same itinerary through two different airports: at Logan, shoes go in the bins. I'm okay with that. At JFK, no shoes in the bins. I understand that also but they were real rude about telling you that you did things the wrong way.


wearing any shoe with laces is a sign of an infrequent traveler. Same thing for wearing a belt or wrist watch.
 
2012-07-19 10:27:26 PM
What if being molested at the airport by the TSA becomes a new fetish? Will you have to pay extra for it?
 
2012-07-19 10:28:38 PM

i.r.id10t: And yet, they tend not to accept a concealed carry permit as a "state issued picture id". Picture - check. Fingerprints done - check. Background check done by FBI - check.

Why?


I wouldn't try that too many times. To reasonable people that should be just fine.

This is a government agency, you're lucky the carry permit didn't scare the wrong person and put you on a no fly list.
 
2012-07-19 10:29:48 PM

Rug Doctor: Nemo's Brother: Yay Obama

This is actually a good point. I like Obama and will vote for him. But if Romney (or Ron Paul, or whoever) came out today and said straight up, "The TSA is an expensive sham and I will totally disband it on my first day in office," I would really start thinking about switching.


==================================

Haha, how cute, you actually still believe that any politician will actually live up to his/her campaign promises. Personally after the last four years, I've gone back to not believing a damn thing any of them have to say and just vote for the guy whom I think is least likely to get us involved in another expensive and pointless war.
 
2012-07-19 10:30:01 PM

Slappy McCynical: Nemo's Brother: Yay Obama

So, Obama was in office when all this started? And all this time I thought it was the white guy, Bush, yeah that's him. It was Bush not Obama, I remember distinctly that it was some guy named Bush that started this crap. Him and his buddy Osama. It was Obama that caught Osama that's where your confusion is coming from.


So, Bush has been in office for the last 3 years? And all this time I thought it was the black buy, Obama, yeah, that's him. With the TSA being under the executive branch of the federal government, I thought he could have changed their policies, or shut them down anytime over those past 3 years. Bush was secretly in charge of things all this time? Huh, I must have missed that.
 
2012-07-19 10:31:13 PM

Carth: wearing any shoe with laces is a sign of an infrequent traveler. Same thing for wearing a belt or wrist watch.


Bates or Converse zip-sided boots. Easy-off.

Of course, you'll still have to deal with the slack-jawed blue-shirtd knuckle-dragger with the megaphone shouting "NO SHOES IN BINS! BELTS OFF!" at all three people in the line.
 
2012-07-19 10:32:09 PM
2damnfunny.com
 
2012-07-19 10:33:09 PM

skinink: "Another slowdown is the infrequent traveler, unfamiliar with security procedures, who arrives wearing knee-high, lace-up boots..."
HEY!! I wear 10 eyelet boots and it's nothing to unlace the boots, not much worse than shoes. The issues are the rude TSA agents and the inconsistent policies. On the same itinerary through two different airports: at Logan, shoes go in the bins. I'm okay with that. At JFK, no shoes in the bins. I understand that also but they were real rude about telling you that you did things the wrong way.


Job perk!
 
2012-07-19 10:33:37 PM

dorko16: dustman81: Sign up for NEXUS, pay $50, complete both the US and Canadian interviews, get Global Entry and TSA Precheck for free.

I have nexus.. what's this about tsa precheck too?


TSA Precheck is only for US citizens, sorry Canadians. If you are a US citizen, on the back of your NEXUS card, enter the membership number/PASSID into your frequent flyer information (same for SENTRI and Global Entry). So far, American, Delta, US Airways, United and Alaska Airways are participating. The membership information should give you a place to enter your ID number.

TSA Precheck is only available at certain airports and for certain airlines. For example, only American offers Precheck in Miami, but only Delta offers Precheck in Detroit. If you're flying American out of Detroit, sorry, no Precheck for you. If you are flying out from participating airport, on an airline that has Precheck in that airport, head to the Precheck security checkpoint. The TSA document screener will swipe your boarding pass under the scanner. If you get BEEP*BEEP*BEEP, congratulations, you can use Precheck. Nothing on your boarding pass will indicate if you have been Precheck approved. You'll find out when they scan it.
 
2012-07-19 10:36:26 PM
There is a lot more scary stuff than just paying and going through an interview. Handing over your bio information to a corporation? Whom I presume would share with the governement? No freaking thanks. Finger me, fondle me, smack me and call me Shirley before I get on a plane, I don't care. But I'm not signing up for that! Lol
 
2012-07-19 10:39:52 PM

Carth: skinink: "Another slowdown is the infrequent traveler, unfamiliar with security procedures, who arrives wearing knee-high, lace-up boots..."
HEY!! I wear 10 eyelet boots and it's nothing to unlace the boots, not much worse than shoes. The issues are the rude TSA agents and the inconsistent policies. On the same itinerary through two different airports: at Logan, shoes go in the bins. I'm okay with that. At JFK, no shoes in the bins. I understand that also but they were real rude about telling you that you did things the wrong way.

wearing any shoe with laces is a sign of an infrequent traveler. Same thing for wearing a belt or wrist watch.


That's why I always wear velcro shoes, and elastic pants to show just how savvy of a traveller I am. As for the wristwatch, they're pretty useless when you can obviously only count to potato.
 
2012-07-19 10:45:49 PM
I'm torn....I have severe social anxiety, and getting groped by some dick with delusions of grandeur would probably be more than I can take. On the other hand, I'm a cheap bastard. Guess I'll just stay at home and Fark
 
2012-07-19 10:46:48 PM

aseras: If you have enough money you charter the plane and then you don't have security at all. you can have your limo drop you off at the steps and go right on board while they load all your luggage for you.


It's not even, technically*, that much money to do so. You don't even need to buy your own plane, you rent one, or buy a share in one.

*Sport license IIRC in Michigan is 10k and allows 1 passenger, needs to be re-upped at about 2k every... other year?
 
2012-07-19 10:47:19 PM
Just be good Germans und move along.
The untermenschen will fly coach anyway.

/amazing how we somehow seem to have grabbed the worst parts of every form of government lately
 
2012-07-19 10:48:31 PM

Avonmore: And I definitely wouldn't recommend it because of the biometric data you have to submit, but maybe that's just me.


I already had that shiat done for my green card. I wonder if they'd give me a discount...

Probably just slap my name on a no-fly list. :\
 
2012-07-19 10:48:51 PM

Walker: I paid. Get your hands off me you goddamn dirty apes.


This is a thread about airport security, not your most recent date.
 
2012-07-19 10:53:44 PM
FTA "...with little kids, obviously they need more time..." Casanova says.

Why bother, too easy...
 
2012-07-19 10:58:13 PM

BummerDuck: FTA "...with little kids, obviously they need more time..." Casanova says.

Why bother, too easy...


Perhaps they need... groomed, Sandusky?
 
2012-07-19 11:03:07 PM
I've got a cheaper solution: Don't fly. Has worked for me since the first and only time I submitted to that stupid and humiliating ritual. I'll start flying again when we decide to shift the funding to whatever is a good bogeyman for the Depends crowd watching CNN and Fox News all day...
 
2012-07-19 11:04:37 PM
If Jerry Sandusky were a TSA agent, the government would be singing his praises. 'bout all I need to know.
 
2012-07-19 11:11:28 PM

devildog123: Slappy McCynical: Nemo's Brother: Yay Obama

So, Obama was in office when all this started? And all this time I thought it was the white guy, Bush, yeah that's him. It was Bush not Obama, I remember distinctly that it was some guy named Bush that started this crap. Him and his buddy Osama. It was Obama that caught Osama that's where your confusion is coming from.

So, Bush has been in office for the last 3 years? And all this time I thought it was the black buy, Obama, yeah, that's him. With the TSA being under the executive branch of the federal government, I thought he could have changed their policies, or shut them down anytime over those past 3 years. Bush was secretly in charge of things all this time? Huh, I must have missed that.


Bush faked 9/11, took us to war with Iraq, faked the moon landing and has forbidden his lap dog we call Obama from messing around with gitmo and TSA. Sure he finally let Obama get out of Iraq but only by getting him to promise to start lining things up against IRAN.

Obama is obviously a Bush lackey and has NO responsibility or real power.

Change? LOL
 
2012-07-19 11:11:36 PM

tjfly: I'm guessing that most Farkers against this are the same ones that want to raise everyone's taxes.


Nah. Not in my case. I'm against it because I want a democratized screening system. If lawmakers think I need to be patted down, then they can be as well.
 
2012-07-19 11:14:00 PM
Boy, what a racket!
 
2012-07-19 11:17:52 PM
I object to this on the grounds that if cash and inconvenience is all that separates the faster pass-thru people from us lower life forms, it means the security issue was a sham all along. Logically, there is no reason a sufficiently motivated terrorist couldn't use these same systems, and every reason to do so, to avoid deeper inspection on the day they want to do something horrible.

I really just don't like the idea that how rich you are defines how "American" the security system considers you to be. That's sounds as UN-American as possible. If you're going to have a pre-clearance system, it should cost you nothing but the extra advance time to get your paperwork cleared, and you should be able to walk into your local police department to have it done, no charge, citizen.

In summary, Fark the TSA to hell.
 
2012-07-19 11:18:48 PM

vudukungfu: Or:
You may refuse to fly.
Stand up for your rights as a citizen.
And black list any political candidate or office holder who thinks TSA is a good thing.

TSA MUST DIE

Or you can devo into the sniveling pussies that you are.


aaaaaand favorited!
 
2012-07-19 11:19:39 PM
CLEAR is a new non-governmental system for pre-clearing travelers and allowing them to move to the front of security lines. For $179 a year

Translation: a for-profit company has figured out a way to make money off of 'security-theater', likely by making a back-room deal with a few congresscritters.
 
2012-07-19 11:19:57 PM
I love it when my government promotes class stratification. Even amusement parks don't let others pay more money to cut in front of others.
 
2012-07-19 11:20:15 PM

thenewmissus: To be honest, I've never seen the big deal in security pat downs. I traveled today (from Atlanta back to Wisconsin) and was had a pat down. I actually filled out a comment card telling them I appreciated their work and professionalism. It was not invasive or demeaning. I don't get all the hype.

/did not RTFA
//I think that everyone should have to go through the same procedure.
///just sayin'


Just because you're a pervery who likes being fondled by strangers doesn't mean the rest of us are.
 
2012-07-19 11:22:55 PM

BarkingUnicorn: $100 and a trip to a government office for an interview, and you get what?

"avoid removing shoes, belts and outerwear and leave laptops in bags while proceeding through metal detectors."

And you still have to put up with what?

"still subject to patdowns and random screenings. And they may still get stuck behind slower travelers."

Naw.


The primary benefit of global entry isn't the lines, it's to be able to use the automated machines at immigration.

trentrockport: I'm old enough to remember the late 1960's... before security checkpoints in airports. I remember my first flight around then... thinking to myself "what a hassle, having to arrive a full half hour before your flight departs! I'll bet that by the time I'm an adult, they'll have it streamlined to the point that taking a flight will be as trivial as riding a city bus."

/was very wrong about this.
//still waiting for my aluminum suit and hover-car.


Yeah, I traveled a lot back in the 70's and 80's. For international flights you needed to get there an hour from flight time and other than second-world countries border crossings were trivial.

These days you get more hassle from the TSA than I ever did even behind the Iron Curtain.

kim jong-un: Why bother with that?

I leave everything in my bag, toss it on the belt, and head to the line that looks to be most likely to have the nakedscan take too long so they have to send everyone to the magnetometers anyway.

The TSA doesn't care. I once took a backpack stuffed to the gills with my laptop and about 8 lbs of cheese and 4 lbs of cured meats in plastic containers. They never batted an eye.

Not that large containers of a putty-like substance in large quantities next to materials known to trigger bomb sniffing dogs would be of interest to them. No, they were concerned that my belt might set off the detector.


Of course not--you weren't hauling drugs. "Security" is only the excuse for the TSA, not their real mission.

Rug Doctor: thenewmissus: To be honest, I've never seen the big deal in security pat downs. I traveled today (from Atlanta back to Wisconsin) and was had a pat down. I actually filled out a comment card telling them I appreciated their work and professionalism. It was not invasive or demeaning. I don't get all the hype.

/did not RTFA
//I think that everyone should have to go through the same procedure.
///just sayin'

I'd prefer a patdown. I know you can always technically request one, but at the airports I frequent (Denver, Bay Area, Vegas), they do NOT like it when you decline the scanner.

I don't care if they're happy or not, but they waste a bunch of time to teach you a lesson. It's happened a couple times and I generally don't ask anymore. So I guess they win?


So far I've always been able to choose a lane without a scanner in LAS. I normally only fly through the D gates, though, I don't know what the situation is elsewhere.

cuzsis: Most people don't care about removing belts and such. A lot of us have to do it to make it through the metal detector anyway. Shoes, while annoying, are not that big of a deal either. Pulling out a labtop is easy and preferred for most of us to sending it through the scanner.

What most of us want to *avoid* are the pat downs, scanners, and random screenings.

This does nothing to address that, so who the fark cares?


Yup, especially when they're not justified. The last two trips my wife has had stuff in her carryon that confused TSA (we knew it was going to happen, it's just checking it wasn't workable) and both times she gets patted down because of it. Huh--nothing alarmed, just the X-ray guy couldn't resolve it.

Also, the TSA does not comply with basic radiation safety rules. Think I'm going to trust what they say about the backscatter machines??

Avonmore: So I go through the PreCheck lines as a result of my frequent flier status. Here's my take:

It's pretty great, but it's not exactly life changing. If you are like most people you might fly twice a year, once during the holidays and maybe a vacation if you're lucky. For that type of flying, I personally wouldn't recommend paying the money involved to qualify for Nexus or another program. And I definitely wouldn't recommend it because of the biometric data you have to submit, but maybe that's just me.

The only people I really think should pay for this type of thing are those who just got a new, travel-heavy job. Once you've got a good frequent flier status, you get this stuff anyways. But if you're going to take two or three flights a week, PreCheck is a lifesaver.


The idea is that those frequent travelers comprise a substantial portion of the passenger volume--get them through a quicker line and it will get faster for everyone else, also.

Carth: skinink: "Another slowdown is the infrequent traveler, unfamiliar with security procedures, who arrives wearing knee-high, lace-up boots..."
HEY!! I wear 10 eyelet boots and it's nothing to unlace the boots, not much worse than shoes. The issues are the rude TSA agents and the inconsistent policies. On the same itinerary through two different airports: at Logan, shoes go in the bins. I'm okay with that. At JFK, no shoes in the bins. I understand that also but they were real rude about telling you that you did things the wrong way.

wearing any shoe with laces is a sign of an infrequent traveler. Same thing for wearing a belt or wrist watch.


Finding shoes that fit me is hard enough, getting ones without laces besides is next to impossible. I also find my watch and belt are no big deal to remove at security.
 
2012-07-19 11:24:13 PM
Even Orwell didn't foresee we'd be offered by the government to buy our freedoms back.
 
2012-07-19 11:27:22 PM
These are the people you are trusting:

At a cost of $150,000 each, the puffer machines were supposed to pick up traces of explosives by blasting passengers with puffs of air. In testing labs, the machines worked great. At the airports, they never did.

The agency acknowledges that it spent nearly $30 million to purchase and maintain the so-called "puffer machines." But less then half of the units were ever deployed.

In 2008, the TSA started to quietly remove the 94 units that were deployed across the country. The last remaining machines were removed from service last year.

Critics say the TSA wasted $30 million in a rush to put untested technology into service instead of doing the necessary research.


30 mill, down the shiatter
 
2012-07-19 11:42:08 PM

Slappy McCynical: We now have no hope of ever seeing an elimination or reduction of airline security. With corporations now touting security shortcuts as benefits of using their products and other companies selling shortcuts, they will lobby vigorously to keep airport security as tight and ever more complex as they can.


Well, I for one welcome corporate sponsorship to ensure my constitutional guarantee of the presumption of innocence and right to privacy. Perhaps one could skip all security theater in the future by brandishing an AMEX tattoo on their forehead.
 
2012-07-19 11:45:47 PM
See, this is what happens. Worthless, corrupt agencies like the DHS and TSA steal your rights away, and the comapnies they serve (for example, Chertoff Group) sell them back to you.
 
2012-07-19 11:46:44 PM

microlith: See, this is what happens. Worthless, corrupt agencies like the DHS and TSA steal your rights away, and the comapnies they serve (for example, Chertoff Group) sell them back to you.

Oh and all you submissive farks from the start of the thread that bought into this shiat: fark you.
 
2012-07-19 11:59:55 PM
The US is the only country that does this, right? I don't live in the US, and I would be glad to spend a little extra to avoid the scale to the US for a trip to Spain I'm planning next year, precisely to avoid this shiat.
 
2012-07-20 12:14:58 AM
Reminds me of when the rich could buy their way out of being drafted. That plan really went over well with the general population, didn't it?
 
2012-07-20 12:21:55 AM
As someone who lives in Orlando and flies usually several times a month for work, and knows what a complete cluster fark the security lines at MCO are like, getting a CLEAR card was the best thing I've ever done for travel.
 
2012-07-20 12:26:24 AM

randomjsa: I think that's called extortion...


as a fascist, why do you care?
 
2012-07-20 01:03:10 AM
Thankfully all my flying is between the same two airports, so I know how to get in and out of there in a hurry.

Protip: At Atlanta no matter what you do, don't even think of looking for the side gates. They aren't really there. Any rumors you heard of them are just that, rumors. Always go straight to the main security line and forget anything anybody said about a side gate.
 
2012-07-20 02:01:15 AM
FISTING!
 
2012-07-20 02:14:34 AM

beer4breakfast: I love it when my government promotes class stratification. Even amusement parks don't let others pay more money to cut in front of others.


Lolz! You're precious!

+1
 
2012-07-20 02:15:49 AM
The TSA is a lot like the airport security in Vietnam:

Airport security in Vietnam has a habit of keeping you held up for long periods and messing with you about proper documentation and line process procedures unless you slip them cash under the passport when you hand it to them. When you do that, you're wisked to your gate with no problems.
 
2012-07-20 02:20:28 AM

Loren: Carth: skinink: "Another slowdown is the infrequent traveler, unfamiliar with security procedures, who arrives wearing knee-high, lace-up boots..."
HEY!! I wear 10 eyelet boots and it's nothing to unlace the boots, not much worse than shoes. The issues are the rude TSA agents and the inconsistent policies. On the same itinerary through two different airports: at Logan, shoes go in the bins. I'm okay with that. At JFK, no shoes in the bins. I understand that also but they were real rude about telling you that you did things the wrong way.

wearing any shoe with laces is a sign of an infrequent traveler. Same thing for wearing a belt or wrist watch.

Finding shoes that fit me is hard enough, getting ones without laces besides is next to impossible. I also find my watch and belt are no big deal to remove at security.


www.snexports.com

Look, you have any idea how much it's gonna cost me to check this in a bag?

Hellz yeah I'm wearing it on the flight! And I'm well aware the metal detector will be an issue...
 
2012-07-20 02:59:40 AM

cuzsis: labtop


i3.kym-cdn.com
 
2012-07-20 03:01:47 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: Why wouldn't a terrorist just get a job as a TSA agent and let his buddies through?


They do background checks on potential TSA hires.
 
2012-07-20 06:22:34 AM

Fluorescent Testicle: tjfly: I'm guessing that most Farkers against this are the same ones that want to raise everyone's taxes.

I have no problem with this, but I also think that tax rates are too low.

What the hell does the latter have to do with the former?


He sucks at guessing in either case.
 
2012-07-20 06:23:22 AM
Meanwhile, in my nice sane country I travelled by plane last week.

Got to airport and e-checked in 25 minutes before take off. 15 minutes before take off I walked through a metal detector, put bag through x-ray machine. I spent all of 60 seconds standing lines. That's it. And that's flying out of and back into the capital city. There were actual VIPs on my flight (a couple of MPs and some high ups from some government departments).

I didn't even have to have ID to prove I was the person on the ticket.

/I live in the 1980s
//Otherwise known as New Zealand
///Sitting ducks
 
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