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(Dangerous Minds)   Most Farker hobbies are doorways to demonic possession   (dangerousminds.net) divider line 82
    More: PSA, possessions, sidelines  
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11088 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jul 2012 at 2:28 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-07-19 10:55:43 AM
5 votes:
But gluttony, greed and hatred are still OK if you're a real Christian.
2012-07-19 02:41:46 PM
4 votes:
Pedophilia didn't make the cut, I guess it is a Catholic list.
2012-07-19 02:49:06 PM
3 votes:
It amuses the hell out of me that they think LOTR is a gateway to Satan, as it's Tolkien's way of teaching his kids Christian values...
/ Yes, very like Lewis's Narnia stuff...
2012-07-19 02:48:00 PM
3 votes:
I'm safe from possession. The Emperor protects all faithful souls.
2012-07-19 02:40:43 PM
3 votes:

dervish16108: Judging from that newspaper article, I can continue practicing Japanese martial arts; bowing to a little Japanese house and engaging in Zen meditation.


No, those are Eastern religions, #1 on the list. Also they are meditation. And everything boils down to Satanism anyways.
2012-07-19 02:36:03 PM
3 votes:
Interesting how they didn't include numerology, despite that fact that 84% of fundies are numerologists (e.g., 666, 3:16; Florida dude's calculations on the Apocalypse, etc.)
2012-07-19 12:57:00 PM
3 votes:
Hmmmm... porn is still safe.
2012-07-19 12:48:00 PM
3 votes:
"Postmodernism" is a stumper. How would you eliminate that from your life? Kill yourself? Avoid Beckett plays?
2012-07-19 12:46:26 PM
3 votes:

Bradog: I didn't know "lycanthropy" was a hobby.



I'm usually too busy during the week to transform into a terrible half-beast, and I have to save tearing the throat from my victims showering in a fountain of their arterial blood for the weekends. Oh sure, back in my youth I had the luxury of rampaging across the moors five even six nights a week, but these days I have responsibilities.
2012-07-19 05:46:11 PM
2 votes:

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Woohoo! 14 of those! Now I have a list of goals.


Good luck with Lycanthropy.
2012-07-19 03:12:28 PM
2 votes:
Hmmm....

Tarot cards - fun as a kid, but I stopped after about twelve
Ouija boards - once again
Meditation - I ought to do more, booze is expensive as far as stress relief *hic*
LOTR - Loved it since I was a kid, but I'm a fantasy geek
Harry Potter - see above
Halloween - Favorite holiday
Fornication - Had plenty of that before the hubby and I got hitched
Heavy metal - \m/
2012-07-19 02:47:26 PM
2 votes:

Canton: Okay, I've tried about ten of those. And I listen to rock music all the time. But I already knew I was going to hell.

But vegetarianism? How did that get there? It's evil not to kill animals for meat? Does this brand of Christianity demand blood sacrifice? Or what?

/Omnivore


If you really want to know, vegitarianism on some sort of moral ground (they'd be suspicious, but they would probably be OK with health grounds) contradicts Genesis where God gives man dominion over the animals and plants. How they square Marihuana (sic) prohibition with this is beyond me.

/ Carnivore
2012-07-19 02:45:55 PM
2 votes:
I see worshiping Mammon is still good to go.
2012-07-19 02:41:25 PM
2 votes:

Weaver95: I've never understood why D&D (or roleplaying games in general) are considered 'evil' by the religious right....


I think the reasoning is that it treats magic as something to be used, not condemned.

Still, until I saw things like Harry Potter on that list I thought this thing was thirty years old. This looks like the BS that was floating about more back in the early 80s. Only the most truly serious hardcore fundamentalists are taking this kind of thing seriously. While more folks were more agreeable to this years ago when I was a kid, it just seems like there's darned few folks who are this kooky, even among the more conservative groups.

It looks more like some bunch of wingnuts that has doubled down on it as time went by instead of lightening up.
2012-07-19 02:39:06 PM
2 votes:
Still A-OK 'christian' activities include:
Greed
Sloth
Lust
Wrath
Gluttony
Envy
Pride
2012-07-19 02:31:32 PM
2 votes:
Lycanthropy FTW!

/like I had a choice...
2012-07-19 02:31:23 PM
2 votes:
I picked a hell of a day to give up Lycanthropy!
2012-07-19 01:02:14 PM
2 votes:
I have to agree with Twilight films. Those things are evil.
2012-07-19 12:43:11 PM
2 votes:
I've never understood why D&D (or roleplaying games in general) are considered 'evil' by the religious right....

oh - and cyberpunk culture!? I didn't know Max Headroom was so dangerous.
2012-07-19 12:29:14 PM
2 votes:
Looking at boobies, beer, and making fun of the topic of the day.

Yeah
2012-07-19 10:52:54 AM
2 votes:
Looks like atheism is still fine. Whew.
2012-07-19 10:38:42 AM
2 votes:
I didn't know "lycanthropy" was a hobby.
2012-07-19 10:31:15 PM
1 votes:

DysphoricMania: Being a member of the Church of Satan might get me closer to Satan?


"They also held that the way to salvation was to give way to lust and temptation in all things. And no greater percentage of them turned up here than of any other religion. Amusing, isn't it?"
― Lucifer
Neil Gaiman's The Sandman, Vol. 4: Season of Mists
2012-07-19 10:23:45 PM
1 votes:
HailRobonia: Formication

Oneofthesedays: Fornication was already mentioned... :D


Maybe it was a typo, but formication and fornication are totally different things ....
2012-07-19 09:50:28 PM
1 votes:
Thanks eversomuch you evangelicals, making all Christians look like retards.

DND was damn fun in college. Little pot never hurt anyone. Lycanthropy? Really?
What idiot made this list?
2012-07-19 09:29:05 PM
1 votes:
Damn my mixed fundie-SDA/scientific upbringing. I tried, and with liberal scoring, even given the new interpretation of trilateralism, I only score 23. $deity-dammit.

// THM is dangerously close to another sponsorship, though.
2012-07-19 07:25:21 PM
1 votes:

notmyjab: Oznog:They left out Skyrim!
They never played it after they took an arrow to the knee


DIE DIE DIE!!!!
2012-07-19 05:43:34 PM
1 votes:

AliceBToklasLives: Cyberpunk Culture [X] (I've 'attended' punk concerts + I use a computer - good 'nuff?)


No. Unless you used your computer AT a punk concert...but I don't think they'd been invented yet.

The computers, not the punk concerts.
2012-07-19 05:42:51 PM
1 votes:
Oh good, BDSM is still okay. Whew!
2012-07-19 05:41:18 PM
1 votes:

Weaver95: I've never understood why D&D (or roleplaying games in general) are considered 'evil' by the religious right....

oh - and cyberpunk culture!? I didn't know Max Headroom was so dangerous.


Only if you're a Chicago TV station Link
2012-07-19 05:37:19 PM
1 votes:
Yoga [X] (SCA member - played with it)
Freemasonry [ ]
Illuminati groups [ ]
New Age religions [X] (Pastafarian - lol)
Church of Satan [ ]
Scientology [ ]
Rosicrucianism [ ]
Astrology [ ]
Tarot cards [X] (SCA member - played with them)
Ouija boards [ X ] (Hasn't everyone?)
Palmistry [X] (SCA member - played with it, both figuratively and actually)
Voodoo [ ]
Earth Worship [ ]
Wicca [X] (SCA member - played with it)
Cyberpunk Culture [X]
Divination [ ]
Meditation [X]
Vegetarianism [X]
Lycanthropy [ ]
Postmodernism [X]
Backmasking [ ]
Astral-projection [X] (SCA member - played with it)
Necromancy [ ]
Re-birthing [ ]
Kabbalah [ ]
LOTR [X] "If enjoyijng Tolkein is wrong I don't want to be right" - Agreed
Fire walking [ ]
Levitation [ ]
Alt "comix" [X] Yes
Vampirism [ ]
Trilateralism [ ]
Marihuana & Pot parties [X]
LSD/Mushrooms [X]
Video games [X]
Harry Potter [X]
Dungeon & Dragons [X] (So, other RPGs don't count, but D&D does?)
Halloween [X]
Fornication [X]
Skull & Bones [ ]
Rock Music [X]
Heavy Metal [X]
Burning Man [ ]
Twilight films [ ] (If you're watching the films, you're already in Hell - no possession necessary.)
Raves & XTC [X]
Goth culture [X]
2012-07-19 05:29:24 PM
1 votes:

Weaver95: patrick767: Weaver95
ok, my score on that list was 26.

they kinda got me on that 'necromancy' issue....

But you do turn into a werewolf sometimes, right?

well...no. but I have attempted to combine 'cyberpunk' and 'necromancy'.


www.imightbedrunk.co.za

/hot
2012-07-19 05:21:19 PM
1 votes:

patrick767: Weaver95
ok, my score on that list was 26.

they kinda got me on that 'necromancy' issue....

But you do turn into a werewolf sometimes, right?


well...no. but I have attempted to combine 'cyberpunk' and 'necromancy'.
2012-07-19 05:01:52 PM
1 votes:
Necromancy? How could using the satanic arts to raise the dead lead to an increased risk of demonic possession? Necromancers always seem so nice too, they're always ever so quiet.
2012-07-19 05:00:58 PM
1 votes:
ok, my score on that list was 26.

they kinda got me on that 'necromancy' issue....
2012-07-19 04:38:44 PM
1 votes:
Thank goodness Amateur Radio didn't make the list.
2012-07-19 04:31:56 PM
1 votes:

TheManofPA: Roll to see if I'm getting drunk


Natural 20!

You sir are shiatfaced! Now you are gonna get a penalty to your sense motive to see if that chick at the bar is actually into you or just wants to steal your wallet.

/my count from the list is 19. Not too shaby.
2012-07-19 04:27:08 PM
1 votes:

ordinarysteve: I got a respectable 8 on that list. And vegetarianism leads to demonic possession?


It's because vegetarians are so fond of seitan.
2012-07-19 03:36:49 PM
1 votes:

8InchFloppy: I can understand most of these in some fun quirky fundie kinda way...but remote viewing? Really?


Psychics are abomination, they are a conduit to the warp, and despite their "usefulness" their only true calling is to be fed to the Golden Throne to nourish the God Emperor of Man.
2012-07-19 03:35:38 PM
1 votes:
*peruses list*
"Kabbalah"
*spits coffee*
Jewish mysticism?

Really?
The source material for the concepts of heaven, hell, demons, and the like?

*strokes chin*
Might be a good idea for them to purge their religion of kabbalistic influences and, instead, practice the part about treating others well.
2012-07-19 03:31:52 PM
1 votes:

Primitive Screwhead: lyndsayj: Oh that HAS to be from a Jack Chick tract, surely. Only the best kind of derp to be found from those little gems.

My personal fave. "Dark Dungeons" HAW! HAW!


Mine too. The level of cluelessness about the subject is mind-boggling, but this one Link is so farked up that it's not even listed on Chick's site anymore. A guy rapes his daughter because he watches a titty-flick and his neighbor finds out and wants in on it. Then the kid gets herpes from the neighbor and a doctor finds out. Instead of turning the guy in to the cops, he teaches him about Jeebus and then all is forgiven. The kid is about 5 years old btw. fark Jack Chick.
2012-07-19 03:19:01 PM
1 votes:
OK, I get that it's crazy, and trying to make sense of crazy is a fool's errand, but...most things on that list are understandably things that crazy fundies would think are spiritually harmful. So where the hell did they get vegetarianism from? Not that I disagree with them, but what part of "I don't like beef, I'd prefer a lentil soup" do they think opens a door to Satan?

/joke's on Satan
//vegetarians are dead inside
2012-07-19 03:18:19 PM
1 votes:

trivial use of my dark powers: Well, that explains the scaly tail I woke up with this morning.

Had to wear a skirt to work today.


You might want to consider perusing the "Cure for cancer, but not swamp-ass" thread for help with that.
2012-07-19 03:16:18 PM
1 votes:
I feel sub-standard, only hit 16 of those (and I'm being generous, since tarot, ouija boards, etc. were fun party games back in the day - yes, onion firmly attached to belt, etc.). I'll have to try harder. Know any Freemasons or Rosicrucians looking for members in the Toronto area?

/draw the line at Scientology, that is damned evil
//feel like an idiot, had to look up two of the items on the list
2012-07-19 03:10:43 PM
1 votes:
Remote viewing.
img860.imageshack.us
Hahahaha! I just damned everyone's soul!
2012-07-19 03:06:03 PM
1 votes:
Dear Christian fundies:

Thank you for this list of things to avoid. I shall take your advice. Additionally I will avoid the following gateway-to-evil hobbies:

Geomancy
Optical-illusions
Faires (Renaissance)
UFOlogy
Chinese fortune cookies
Kung-Fu
Yodeling
Origami
Ululation
Rap "music"
Stewart, John
Elfism
Left-handedness
Formication
2012-07-19 03:01:27 PM
1 votes:

Kryllith: I've been playing D&D for 34 years and video games for about as long. If I've not been possessed yet, it's not going to happen. (Scored 10-18, depending on whether it was something I was/am really interested in or just a passing fancy).


Ditto, although I'd claim that for me, New Age Religions, Wicca, and Earth Worship are pretty much all the same thing. So that's -2 or +2 points depending.
2012-07-19 03:00:06 PM
1 votes:

fred_chan: I would like to add in the caveat that if you're the High Priest of the Temple and you're using the Urim and Thummim from your Breastplate of Judgement, divination is still a-okay.

/that sounds like a D&D reference, but it's not


Dum dum dum dum dum dum dummmmm
2012-07-19 02:59:45 PM
1 votes:

Godscrack: But gluttony, greed and hatred are still OK if you're a real Christian.


Christ wasn't much for greed.
2012-07-19 02:59:04 PM
1 votes:
This is like what you'd get in your trick-or-treat bag if you went to the wrong houses as a kid.

I feel like there's an ancient DOS computer somewhere with this text file saved and dusted off every few years... unless they just use typewriters becaus DOS is too evil for them (IT STANDS FOR DEMON OR SATAN!!)
2012-07-19 02:58:19 PM
1 votes:
The original image had moar cleavage..
sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net

The tract was handed-out at Comic Con by "jesus freaks"
2012-07-19 02:58:11 PM
1 votes:

TypoFlyspray: It amuses the hell out of me that they think LOTR is a gateway to Satan, as it's Tolkien's way of teaching his kids Christian values...
/ Yes, very like Lewis's Narnia stuff...


Tolkien wasn't a fundie, therefore everything he did is suspect. Also, he may have been a foreigner.
2012-07-19 02:57:56 PM
1 votes:
uh, isn't prayer a form of meditation?
2012-07-19 02:57:54 PM
1 votes:
Roll to see if I'm getting drunk
2012-07-19 02:57:02 PM
1 votes:
I wonder if that is from the same author who wrote a book a friend of mine was given in high school that said Metallica was a satanic cult band as evidenced by their song "Creeping Death" where fans shout "Die, die, die!" during the chorus at concerts.

These people are so clueless, so ignorant that you almost want to feel sorry for them. Except then you realize that they are also completely serious and would never accept any rational attempts you might make to rid them of their ignorance. Then you just want them to go away and stay away.
2012-07-19 02:56:48 PM
1 votes:
I would like to add in the caveat that if you're the High Priest of the Temple and you're using the Urim and Thummim from your Breastplate of Judgement, divination is still a-okay.

/that sounds like a D&D reference, but it's not
2012-07-19 02:54:38 PM
1 votes:
In the future, polyamory will be included on the list, even though it's Biblical.
2012-07-19 02:52:37 PM
1 votes:

PhDemented: Do Furries count as Lychanthropes?


I think that's the point. Whoever wrote this list heard of Furries and thought "Werewolves".
2012-07-19 02:51:26 PM
1 votes:
I scored 17. Is that enough for the "good ending", or do I have to complete all the missions?
2012-07-19 02:48:34 PM
1 votes:

TypoFlyspray: Bradog: I didn't know "lycanthropy" was a hobby.

You're doing it wrong, then.


It's more of a way of life, really.
2012-07-19 02:47:56 PM
1 votes:

HailRobonia: I believe that counts as kabbalah, as in "I relaxed with a kabbalah beers..."


You owe me a new keyboard.
2012-07-19 02:47:24 PM
1 votes:
Lessee...

Yoga...gave it up a few months back. My body doesn't move like that any more.
Astrology...fun game when I was a kid. Lost interest when I got into my teens.
Meditation (assume they mean TM)...ditto
LOTR...ditto
Halloween...ditto
Tarot...fun game when I was a teen. Lost interest when I became an adult.
Marihuana & Pot parties...ditto
Remote Viewing...the hell? Isn't that a tautology?
Fornication...haven't had the opportunity recently
Rock Music...damn, that's the only one. I gotta get some new hobbies.
2012-07-19 02:46:48 PM
1 votes:

DysphoricMania: 34 here... but I draw the line at Necromancy... no way I am going to get into that. Or that crazy rock and roll business.


I refuse to participate in vegetarianism. Sure, it looks harmless enough, but there is a terrible price to pay for dabbling in such a thing. No more bacon.
2012-07-19 02:45:07 PM
1 votes:
I've been playing D&D for 34 years and video games for about as long. If I've not been possessed yet, it's not going to happen. (Scored 10-18, depending on whether it was something I was/am really interested in or just a passing fancy).
2012-07-19 02:43:16 PM
1 votes:
Why make a list? Just say "All things white middle aged fundementalists don't like or understand at any given point in time is a gateway to demonic possesison!" and be done with it.
2012-07-19 02:43:05 PM
1 votes:
I've always said Computers are tools of the Devil.

/ok, what do they mean by alt 'comix'
2012-07-19 02:41:00 PM
1 votes:
Okay, I've tried about ten of those. And I listen to rock music all the time. But I already knew I was going to hell.

But vegetarianism? How did that get there? It's evil not to kill animals for meat? Does this brand of Christianity demand blood sacrifice? Or what?

/Omnivore
2012-07-19 02:40:42 PM
1 votes:
Brewing beer not mentioned.
2012-07-19 02:38:05 PM
1 votes:
And of course, the footnotes barely mention any of this. If you're gonna include references, make sure they're relevant.
2012-07-19 02:35:26 PM
1 votes:
My hobby combines lycanthropy and backmasking. Did you get the memo re. wolf flower?
2012-07-19 02:34:53 PM
1 votes:
Do Furries count as Lychanthropes?
2012-07-19 02:34:32 PM
1 votes:
I've read lists like that before. Some Christian groups remake them infrequently, adding things they disapprove of. The one I read when I was a kid included the Beatles specifically, and rock 'n' roll in general.

Most Christians prefer not to think. Don't let the stupid bother you.
2012-07-19 02:34:25 PM
1 votes:
As a D&D playing Freemason *FLAY YOUR SOULS AND EAT YOUR SKIN* who listens to heavy metal I'm getting a *YOU WILL ALL BURN IN THE DEPTHS OF THE SLOAR* kick out of *FRESH MEAT* this
2012-07-19 02:33:40 PM
1 votes:
"Marijuana & Pot Parties"??

WTF, is this 1965??
2012-07-19 02:33:27 PM
1 votes:
Being a member of the Church of Satan might get me closer to Satan? I never saw that one coming...
2012-07-19 02:32:54 PM
1 votes:
Well I'm just glad that all of my hobbies are clean, pure, good Christian ones.
2012-07-19 02:31:49 PM
1 votes:
I scored 9, I'm a slacker (which is not on the list sadly)
2012-07-19 01:54:54 PM
1 votes:

PainInTheASP: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Woohoo! 14 of those! Now I have a list of goals.

*Sigh*. I only managed seven. I guess if I want to be trendy I'll have to pull the pentagram and dead chicken out of the attic again.


Is that what the kids are calling in these days?
2012-07-19 01:33:07 PM
1 votes:

Rev. Skarekroe: There's still such a thing as "cyberpunk culture"?


good point. but apparently using computers to challenge authority opens you up to daemonic possession.
2012-07-19 01:21:22 PM
1 votes:
There's still such a thing as "cyberpunk culture"?
2012-07-19 12:53:35 PM
1 votes:
Wait, D&D will lead to schizophrenia and late stage syphilis?
2012-07-19 12:53:33 PM
1 votes:
Meditation is a gateway to demonic possession. Really. You really believe this.

That's just too goddamn stupid for words.
 
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