If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Dangerous Minds)   Most Farker hobbies are doorways to demonic possession   (dangerousminds.net) divider line 361
    More: PSA, possessions, sidelines  
•       •       •

11090 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jul 2012 at 2:28 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



361 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-07-19 03:22:46 PM

Canton: Okay, I've tried about ten of those. And I listen to rock music all the time. But I already knew I was going to hell.

But vegetarianism? How did that get there? It's evil not to kill animals for meat? Does this brand of Christianity demand blood sacrifice? Or what?

/Omnivore


Because God put the animals here for us to kill and eat! Vegetarianism is a gateway to recognizing that animals have souls, which is eastern religion territory!

I've had Christians and Muslims alike give me the first sentence on a regular basis.
 
2012-07-19 03:25:03 PM
So they're quoting Deuteronomy chapter 18, eh? Alrighty then.

"I am the first, I have no father; I am the last, I have no brother. Beside Me there is no God; I have no son."--Exod. Rabba 29
"But a prophet who presumes to speak in my name anything I have not commanded, or a prophet who speaks in the name of other gods, is to be put to death."-- Deut. 18:20

Jesus is a liar, God has no son. Deuteronomy says to put to death prophets who aren't speaking the words of God. Therefore, Jesus worship, by this same Deuteronomy chapter and by the logic presented in the article, should be considered demonic possession. Problem Christians?
 
2012-07-19 03:25:22 PM
farm4.staticflickr.com
 
2012-07-19 03:26:46 PM

olddinosaur: I scored 19, how'd all the rest of you Farkers do?


34. I had a horribly misspent youth.
 
2012-07-19 03:27:34 PM
Eastern Religions [ ]
Yoga [ ]
Freemasonry [ ]
Illuminati groups [ ]
New Age religions [ ]
Church of Satan [ ]
Scientology [ ]
Rosicrucianism [ ]
Astrology [ X ](hard time missing this if you lived in the 1970's)
Tarot cards [ X ](same as above)
Ouija boards [ ]
Palmistry [ X ]
Voodoo [ ]
Earth Worship [ ]
Wicca [ ]
Cyberpunk Culture [ X ]
Divination [ X ](Calculated my grades before I saw them!)
Meditation [ X ](helps to deal with crazy/intolerant people)
Vegetarianism [ X ](occasionally my body craves veggies more than meat *shrug*)
Lycanthropy [ ]
Postmodernism [ X ]
Backmasking [ ](how do I get started in this, Is there a kit or something?)
Astral-projection [ ]
Necromancy [ X ](CPR is a version of this)
Re-birthing [ ]
Kabbalah [ ](only if Madonna shows me how)
LOTR [ X ](I shall not pass)
Fire walking [ ]
Levitation [ ] (really? This would be sweet!)
Alt "comix" [ X ](been to SD Comic-Con)
Vampirism [ ](see Halloween)
Trilateralism [ ]
Marihuana &
Pot parties [ ]
LSD/Mushrooms [ ]
Video games [ X ](I'm going to have a lot to answer for here)
Harry Potter [ X ]
Dungeon & Dragons [ X ](Without this in middle school I would have had almost zero friends)
Halloween [ X ]
Fornication [ X ]
Skull & Bones [ ](never invited)
Rock Music [ X ]
Heavy Metal [ X ]
Burning Man [ X ]
Twilight films [ X ]
Raves & XTC [ ]
Goth culture [ X ]

Surprised that alcohol and Mensa aren't on the list
 
2012-07-19 03:27:52 PM
I'm surprised Bronies haven't made the list yet...cloppers especially.
 
2012-07-19 03:30:31 PM

I May Be Crazy But...: MBooda: I May Be Crazy But...: MBooda: I May Be Crazy But...: Including yoga on there seems like a bit of a stretch to me.

Thanks to you the level of this thread is heading downward, dog.

Hey there, son! Salutations!

Of corpse. Plank you very much.

It's a crane shame that I can't think of any more yoga poses.


You're just not triangle.
 
2012-07-19 03:31:52 PM

Primitive Screwhead: lyndsayj: Oh that HAS to be from a Jack Chick tract, surely. Only the best kind of derp to be found from those little gems.

My personal fave. "Dark Dungeons" HAW! HAW!


Mine too. The level of cluelessness about the subject is mind-boggling, but this one Link is so farked up that it's not even listed on Chick's site anymore. A guy rapes his daughter because he watches a titty-flick and his neighbor finds out and wants in on it. Then the kid gets herpes from the neighbor and a doctor finds out. Instead of turning the guy in to the cops, he teaches him about Jeebus and then all is forgiven. The kid is about 5 years old btw. fark Jack Chick.
 
2012-07-19 03:33:40 PM

Sybarite: I'm surprised Bronies haven't made the list yet...cloppers especially.


Give it time, the author seems to lag a few decades behind on the latest trends.
 
2012-07-19 03:35:38 PM
*peruses list*
"Kabbalah"
*spits coffee*
Jewish mysticism?

Really?
The source material for the concepts of heaven, hell, demons, and the like?

*strokes chin*
Might be a good idea for them to purge their religion of kabbalistic influences and, instead, practice the part about treating others well.
 
2012-07-19 03:35:43 PM
Backmasking huh, is it okay if I use all the rest of the features in Photoshop if I don't do the backmasking one or does the bounding selection also put my soul in mortal peril? How about if I do masking without hitting the back button would that be okay?

I knew about Rosicrucianism because they advertise in that well known Satanic periodical Popular Mechanics.
 
2012-07-19 03:36:05 PM

IronJelly: Weaver95: I've never understood why D&D (or roleplaying games in general) are considered 'evil' by the religious right....

oh - and cyberpunk culture!? I didn't know Max Headroom was so dangerous.

I didn't read any comments after this one (except for the two people who are highlighted for me.

D&D is blacklisted by some people for the same reason that Harry Potter isn't allowed in some schools. In essence, there isn't a real reason; some dried up twat who happens to have a small amount of power gets his or her jollies by taking away something other people enjoy, in the vein hope that they can make the rest of us as miserable as they are.

Take marijuana. It's enjoyable, has no long term adverse effects, causes a hell of a lot less death than alcohol, doesn't render the user violent, make them vomit, leave them hungover, or make them call up any of their exes. If these miserable pricks would just smoke the freaking marijuana and have a good time instead of biatching about other people having a good time without them, the world would be a much better place.


You're a vampire, aren't you?
 
2012-07-19 03:36:12 PM

genner: Wait a minute....... Twilight is on that list. Maybe they're on to something.


Just the movies, though. The BOOKS are just fine. Demons just love them some shirtless werewolves.
 
2012-07-19 03:36:49 PM

8InchFloppy: I can understand most of these in some fun quirky fundie kinda way...but remote viewing? Really?


Psychics are abomination, they are a conduit to the warp, and despite their "usefulness" their only true calling is to be fed to the Golden Throne to nourish the God Emperor of Man.
 
2012-07-19 03:37:11 PM
"Re-birthing"?

Born-agains against being born again? Hmmm......
 
2012-07-19 03:39:38 PM
by putting LSD/shrooms on the list you just kinda screwed yourself in the afterlife. cosmic karma. you know
 
2012-07-19 03:43:40 PM
Let's see... murder, cannibalism, "Bath Salts", and masturbation missing from list. I'm all set for the weekend then.

/has anyone mentioned this is their bucket list yet?
//or what they've "scored" on it?
 
2012-07-19 03:43:43 PM
Well, Duh!
 
2012-07-19 03:44:33 PM
Weaver95
I've never understood why D&D (or roleplaying games in general) are considered 'evil' by the religious right....


They usually feature magic that is clearly a made-up fantasy and not reality and you get used to dealing with it.
Kids might look at other stories featuring magic and automatically put them in the same "it's a made-up fantasy" box.


And a comparatively lame fantasy to boot. I mean, come on: you're a godling, it takes you three days to respawn and you apparently don't have any decent offensive spells?
Heck, under the older edition ruleset you could get stuff like "Flesh to Stone" and nuke-like giant area-of-effect spells like"Slay Firstborns", "Hailstorm", "Cloud of Locusts" and so on.
Granted, it always seemed a tad unbalanced to me, but they went overboard reworking their rules and the newer edition turned out to be completely neutered and lame by comparison

.
/ teens might wonder what class and level you have to be to get a spell for turning water into booze...
 
2012-07-19 03:46:42 PM
At first I was sure this list was from the 80s until I saw Twilight on there.

And has "cyberpunk culture" ever actually been a real thing anywhere?
 
2012-07-19 03:48:59 PM

Weaver95: I've never understood why D&D (or roleplaying games in general) are considered 'evil' by the religious right....

oh - and cyberpunk culture!? I didn't know Max Headroom was so dangerous.


I'm a Christian. I don't see why D&D is evil either.

/Pathfinder group meets tomorrow night.
//Sandpoint, here we come!
 
2012-07-19 03:50:03 PM

spill_thrill:
And has "cyberpunk culture" ever actually been a real thing anywhere?


Yes. Hong Kong.

ecosummit.hk
 
2012-07-19 03:50:23 PM
17, counting some lame stuff I was into as a teenager.
 
2012-07-19 03:50:40 PM

Mr. Cat Poop: Primitive Screwhead: lyndsayj: Oh that HAS to be from a Jack Chick tract, surely. Only the best kind of derp to be found from those little gems.

My personal fave. "Dark Dungeons" HAW! HAW!

Mine too. The level of cluelessness about the subject is mind-boggling, but this one Link is so farked up that it's not even listed on Chick's site anymore. A guy rapes his daughter because he watches a titty-flick and his neighbor finds out and wants in on it. Then the kid gets herpes from the neighbor and a doctor finds out. Instead of turning the guy in to the cops, he teaches him about Jeebus and then all is forgiven. The kid is about 5 years old btw. fark Jack Chick.


That is not real, it can't be real, it's a Rick Roll....clicks.......FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUU!!!!!!

/eye bleach!
//brain bleach!
///Though ol' Chick seems to be siding with the Catholics on this one; molest a child, ask for forgiveness and the law need never be bothered.
////of course, it was a girl.
//oh, and the doctor must legally report any and all suspected abuse. sending the sick fark to church doesn't count.
 
2012-07-19 03:51:15 PM

mcsestretch: Weaver95: I've never understood why D&D (or roleplaying games in general) are considered 'evil' by the religious right....

oh - and cyberpunk culture!? I didn't know Max Headroom was so dangerous.

I'm a Christian. I don't see why D&D is evil either.

/Pathfinder group meets tomorrow night.
//Sandpoint, here we come!


Have fun with Thassilon sin magic.

I'm running 'Skull and Shackles' right now. just kicked off the campaign last night. Pirates! yar!
 
2012-07-19 03:51:52 PM

Sybarite: Bradog: I didn't know "lycanthropy" was a hobby.


I'm usually too busy during the week to transform into a terrible half-beast, and I have to save tearing the throat from my victims showering in a fountain of their arterial blood for the weekends. Oh sure, back in my youth I had the luxury of rampaging across the moors five even six nights a week, but these days I have responsibilities.



chuckle
 
2012-07-19 03:52:22 PM

groppet: I should be in the kitchen: Look, my former roommate made me go see those damn sparkly vampire movies, ok? I didn't want to do it but I felt sorry for her since no one else would go.

Still hellbound for many other reasons, however.

And I thought I had it bad with my roomate. I hope she at least paid.


She didn't :-(
I actually spent money on Twilight. At least it was a matinee.

/Don't judge me, Farkers
 
2012-07-19 03:52:48 PM

spill_thrill: And has "cyberpunk culture" ever actually been a real thing anywhere?


Yeah, I kinda remember it in the 90's. It wasn't that big of a movement... but it was certainly separate from things like goth, geek culture, etc.

I remember people in college who specifically labeled themselves "cyberpunks". Kinda lame, but it existed.

Link
 
2012-07-19 03:52:58 PM
Whew, model railroading isn't on the list! I'm safe!

/Still going to hell for the video games. Damn.
 
2012-07-19 03:53:46 PM

dervish16108: Because God put the animals here for us to kill and eat! Vegetarianism is a gateway to recognizing that animals have souls, which is eastern religion territory!

I've had Christians and Muslims alike give me the first sentence on a regular basis.


That's... That's insane. Okay, I think I heard that once from a Baptist type in 4-H, or something to that effect. But jesus christ, that's damn insane. That is when you bring in the puppies or kittens. Probably kittens. Islam has issues with dogs.
 
2012-07-19 03:53:48 PM
30. "Now I can feel. The fire. Creepin' up my thigh..."
 
2012-07-19 03:55:52 PM

spill_thrill: At first I was sure this list was from the 80s until I saw Twilight on there.

And has "cyberpunk culture" ever actually been a real thing anywhere?


www.vinylvendors.com
 
2012-07-19 03:56:08 PM
I'm baffled as to why heavy metal & rock music are so "demonic," but not country. Aren't country music fans statistically more likely to commit suicide?
 
2012-07-19 04:00:38 PM

Catlike Typist: I'm baffled as to why heavy metal & rock music are so "demonic," but not country. Aren't country music fans statistically more likely to commit suicide?


it's cause all their music is is for circle jerk fans of country.
when you get a following that's primarily married families they don't CARE what their listening to.

as long as it's wholesome
 
2012-07-19 04:02:41 PM

trivial use of my dark powers: Well, that explains the scaly tail I woke up with this morning.

Had to wear a skirt to work today.


{zip} Go on ....
 
2012-07-19 04:02:47 PM

I should be in the kitchen: groppet: I should be in the kitchen: Look, my former roommate made me go see those damn sparkly vampire movies, ok? I didn't want to do it but I felt sorry for her since no one else would go.

Still hellbound for many other reasons, however.

And I thought I had it bad with my roomate. I hope she at least paid.

She didn't :-(
I actually spent money on Twilight. At least it was a matinee.

/Don't judge me, Farkers


Oh we are judging!! Did she at least buy the popcorn or drive?!?! Something?! Anything that can make this look good? I at least got a flask of rum out of the deal and drank to the bad movies and she paid.
 
2012-07-19 04:04:44 PM

Dead-Guy: The tract was handed-out at Comic Con by "jesus freaks"


There are a few things at comic con that I'd sell my sole to Satan for.

Link



/and yes I'm talking about the bottom of my shoe, but dont tell him that
 
2012-07-19 04:06:53 PM

IronJelly: Weaver95: I've never understood why D&D ....
Take marijuana. It's enjoyable, has no long term adverse effects, causes a hell of a lot less death than alcohol, doesn't render the user violent, make them vomit, leave them hungover, or make them call up any of their exes. If these miserable pricks would just smoke the freaking marijuana and have a good time instead of biatching about other people having a good time without them, the world would be a much better place.


That is probably the only thing on the list other than Scientology which is actually harmful. I know lots of people who have smoked for years without any problems whatsoever, I also know people who have experienced psychotic episodes. The Royal College of Psychiatrists have a few points to make about schizophrenia too.

Also - no steampunk on the list? Cyberpunk but not steampunk? I'm scoring 16 on the list, I blame the vegetarianism.
 
2012-07-19 04:07:46 PM

IronJelly: Take marijuana. It's enjoyable, has no long term adverse effects


LOLWUT

Seriously, tho, I know what you mean, but potheads are proof that anything can be done to excess, and inhaling any smoke, like eating BBQ, is pretty much begging for Darwin to cancer you.
 
2012-07-19 04:08:40 PM
I got a respectable 8 on that list. And vegetarianism leads to demonic possession? I respect that lifestyle choice but you'd think a demon would want a mortal vessel without a protein deficiency. You learn something new everyday.
 
2012-07-19 04:08:54 PM

Spiralmonkey: IronJelly: Weaver95: I've never understood why D&D ....
Take marijuana. It's enjoyable, has no long term adverse effects, causes a hell of a lot less death than alcohol, doesn't render the user violent, make them vomit, leave them hungover, or make them call up any of their exes. If these miserable pricks would just smoke the freaking marijuana and have a good time instead of biatching about other people having a good time without them, the world would be a much better place.

That is probably the only thing on the list other than Scientology which is actually harmful. I know lots of people who have smoked for years without any problems whatsoever, I also know people who have experienced psychotic episodes. The Royal College of Psychiatrists have a few points to make about schizophrenia too.

Also - no steampunk on the list? Cyberpunk but not steampunk? I'm scoring 16 on the list, I blame the vegetarianism.


Mannheim Steamroller?
 
2012-07-19 04:11:04 PM
Damnit! I was just about to brew a big pitcher of iced tea and head out to my garage and enjoy a bit of Trilateralism and now I find out that I'm basically spread eagle for the devil!

I may have to join that Illuminati group just to pass the time, I'll just check the list here and....


DAMNIT!!!!
 
2012-07-19 04:17:30 PM
Apparently they're okay with ripping off movie names, though. So I guess god's cool with plagiarism at least.
 
2012-07-19 04:19:44 PM
29 so far. Working on it!
 
2012-07-19 04:22:40 PM
Eastern Religions [x] martial arts includes aspects of Eastern religions
Yoga [x]
Freemasonry [ ]
Illuminati groups [x] I played the game. That has to count.
New Age religions [x] I'm a techno pagan
Church of Satan [ ]
Scientology [?] My ex-wife was escaped from Co$, I think it counts
Rosicrucianism [ ]
Astrology [x] I did this stupid shiat as a kid
Tarot cards [x] ditto
Ouija boards [x] ditto
Palmistry [x] ditto
Voodoo [x] ditto
Earth Worship [x] Paganism includes this
Wicca [x] Pagan
Cyberpunk Culture [x] I'm a linux system admin
Divination [x] Magic 8 Ball!
Meditation [x]
Vegetarianism [?] Does going down on a vegan count?
Lycanthropy [ ]
Postmodernism [x] Studied it in school, but think it's for stupid people to justify anything
Backmasking [x]
Astral-projection [x] Tried to do it as a teen. Didn't work.
Necromancy [ ]
Re-birthing [ ]
Kabbalah [x] I had a whole magic and spell period as a teen
LOTR [x]
Fire walking [ ]
Levitation [ ]
Alt "comix" [x]
Vampirism [ ]
Trilateralism [x] Does a threesome count?
Marihuana & Pot parties [x]
LSD/Mushrooms [x]
Video games [x] I work in the video game industry
Harry Potter [x]
Dungeon & Dragons [x]
Halloween [x]
Fornication [x]
Skull & Bones [ ]
Rock Music [x]
Heavy Metal [x]
Burning Man [ ]
Twilight films [ ]
Raves & XTC [ ]
Goth culture [ ]

That's 30 or 32, depending on how you score two of them. I think I got high score!
 
2012-07-19 04:22:42 PM

spill_thrill: At first I was sure this list was from the 80s until I saw Twilight on there.

And has "cyberpunk culture" ever actually been a real thing anywhere?


i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2012-07-19 04:25:55 PM
Video games? I don't see how my playing Angry Birds pisses off Jesus.

img13.imageshack.us
 
2012-07-19 04:27:08 PM

ordinarysteve: I got a respectable 8 on that list. And vegetarianism leads to demonic possession?


It's because vegetarians are so fond of seitan.
 
2012-07-19 04:28:37 PM
24, and I doubt it'll go much higher... I just can't manage to levitate or summon the undead. Maybe I'm doing it wrong.
 
2012-07-19 04:28:47 PM
Oh now, really. Fornication, rock music and LOTR?

(muses)

Naw, that's over the top. So ... FO.
 
Displayed 50 of 361 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report