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(TMZ)   Fred Willard arrested for public masturbation while working on new film entitled "The Yank"   (tmz.com) divider line 167
    More: Ironic, Fred Willard, lascivious, adult movie theater, masturbation  
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9404 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 19 Jul 2012 at 11:54 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-19 10:46:09 AM  
Wha' Happened?
 
2012-07-19 10:59:01 AM  
So he was jerking it in a porno theater? I had no idea that kind of thing happened in those kinds of places!
 
2012-07-19 11:05:29 AM  
Don't care. He's still one of the funniest motherf*ckers on the planet. This doesn't change that.
 
2012-07-19 11:06:26 AM  
Fred Willard?

img.photobucket.com
 
2012-07-19 11:11:39 AM  
I didn't know he had a viral video.
 
2012-07-19 11:12:21 AM  

Actual Farking: Wha' Happened?


I was CERTAIN that was going to be the newsflash headline du jour for this story.
 
2012-07-19 11:13:25 AM  
I'm sure the sight if a penis was really shocking to the patrons of a porno theater.
 
2012-07-19 11:20:17 AM  
There are still adult theaters around? Last I heard there was this new-fangled thing called the interwebs that allowed you to find just about any kind of porn you wanted so you could fap at home.
 
2012-07-19 11:34:58 AM  
so... he was going after his hog like it was made outta ham?
 
2012-07-19 11:36:07 AM  

sigdiamond2000: Don't care. He's still one of the funniest motherf*ckers on the planet. This doesn't change that.


and this.
 
2012-07-19 11:48:24 AM  
He went full Pee Wee. You never go full Pee Wee.
 
2012-07-19 11:55:31 AM  
It was a quick release...
 
2012-07-19 11:56:08 AM  
Wait there are still porno theaters?
 
2012-07-19 11:56:12 AM  
FTFA: It was a quick release
 
2012-07-19 11:57:28 AM  
Two things I'm confused about here....

He's Fred Willard. Is it that hard to play off your stardom to get some ass so you're not jacking it in a porno theater?

And two, do cops just randomly come in to make sure no one's touching themselves in these kinds of places? Or did someone call it in after they glance away from the giant cock on the screen and saw his chubby?
 
2012-07-19 11:57:37 AM  
Dang... got in late and didn't see one had already went green before I submitted:

"Fred Willard arrested for showing his Fernwood 2 Night"
 
2012-07-19 11:57:37 AM  
Why does anyone go to a "Porn" theater?
 
2012-07-19 11:59:09 AM  
He be stylin.

i.imgur.com
 
2012-07-19 12:00:04 PM  

Actual Farking: Wha' Happened?


Done in one.
 
2012-07-19 12:00:17 PM  

Strik3r: Why does anyone go to a "Porn" theater?


He's old. Probably can't figure out the computer.
 
2012-07-19 12:02:09 PM  
Who takes their pants off in a porno theater? That's what the zipper hole is for, Noob.
 
2012-07-19 12:02:24 PM  
He couldn't kill kittens in the privacy of his basement like a regular Farker?
 
2012-07-19 12:04:47 PM  
asapblogs.typepad.com
 
2012-07-19 12:08:09 PM  

AdolfOliverPanties: He went full Pee Wee. You never go full Pee Wee.


img.gawkerassets.com

Approves
 
2012-07-19 12:08:10 PM  
Ya know how when a woman gets "harassed" for breast feeding in public, a bazillion saggy-titted hoochies show up to protest by having a massive "breast feed in."

I think you know where this is heading . . .


/ septuagenarian spank-a-thon
 
2012-07-19 12:09:27 PM  
I wonder how this is going to affect his new PBS show.
 
2012-07-19 12:09:46 PM  
Well that was a waste of a $10 Viagra.
 
2012-07-19 12:13:41 PM  
While filming "The Yank"?

Sounds like he was being the consummate professional by staying in character all the time....
 
2012-07-19 12:14:18 PM  
Fred Wiilard rules.

/Loved him since Fernwood Tonight
 
2012-07-19 12:16:32 PM  
Subby's clever tag use is just like rain on your wedding day


// ok, I bit, you got me
 
2012-07-19 12:17:19 PM  

maxx2112: Ya know how when a woman gets "harassed" for breast feeding in public, a bazillion saggy-titted hoochies show up to protest by having a massive "breast feed in."

I think you know where this is heading . . .


/ septuagenarian spank-a-thon


I read that as "sep-tu-a-genarian"

/cupcake in a cup
 
2012-07-19 12:23:35 PM  
In other news, Fred Willard's internet connection was down.
 
2012-07-19 12:24:17 PM  

fruitloop:

I read that as "sep-tu-a-genarian"

/cupcake in a cup


I didn't know we had a porno theater!
 
2012-07-19 12:25:06 PM  
Was it in San Diego? We totally allow that now. You can do it right in the street if you want.
 
2012-07-19 12:27:33 PM  
I guess we finally found out how much he can lift
 
2012-07-19 12:27:43 PM  
I just read the article. I like how they refer to his "quick release". Made me laugh.
 
2012-07-19 12:28:12 PM  
But you and I are mature adults; we've both seen our share of pornographic materials.
 
2012-07-19 12:28:27 PM  
We're missing the bigger picture here, may we all be blessed enough to be able to spank it still when we're 78.

/The spirit is willing, but and the flesh is weak is rock hard.
 
2012-07-19 12:29:07 PM  
What happens when Fred Willard can't get a room at LaQuinta?

He spanks his monkey!

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-07-19 12:29:58 PM  
Give the guy credit for stil being able to rough up a supsect at 78.
 
2012-07-19 12:31:27 PM  

NOLAhd: Give the guy credit for stil being able to rough up a supsect at 78.


My new favorite euphemism
 
2012-07-19 12:31:28 PM  
I GOT A REAL RED WAGON!
 
2012-07-19 12:34:16 PM  
The theater was showing "Step Dad 2". Sounds sorta gay...
 
2012-07-19 12:34:30 PM  

titwrench: Was it in San Diego? We totally allow that now. You can do it right in the street if you want.


San Diegan checking in. I can confirm that you can get away with just about anything in San Diego. We just don't give a ****. Visit our beautiful city. Get naked in the street. Give us your tourist dollars, then go home.
 
2012-07-19 12:35:06 PM  
I read that as Fred Ward. You know, Remo Williams himself.
 
2012-07-19 12:35:38 PM  
I always thought he was teh gey.
 
2012-07-19 12:37:05 PM  
ah, that's depressing. that guy is great in everything he has ever done. and then at 78 he does that. actually that gives me hope. I hope I am still masturbating at that age.
 
2012-07-19 12:38:35 PM  

Brother_Mouzone: ah, that's depressing. that guy is great in everything he has ever done. and then at 78 he does that. actually that gives me hope. I hope I am still masturbating at that age.


I don't know at what age you stop, but I do know it isn't 52.
 
2012-07-19 12:42:05 PM  
i have NEVER and will NEVER understand how spanking it in a porno theater is an arrestable offense!

like someone up there ^ said, did someone look away from the giant sexual act on screen to see him and get offended? same with pee wee

yes, there are still some such theaters around...dallas, for one, has at least 1 really popular one called LIDO
 
2012-07-19 12:46:28 PM  
Whacking it at age 72. You gotta respect that.

/I think
 
2012-07-19 12:48:15 PM  
I think this guy can get away with this relatively unscathed.

I mean... It fits the way all of his characters have been portrayed almost perfectly.
 
2012-07-19 12:53:40 PM  

Daobaz: I think this guy can get away with this relatively unscathed.

I mean... It fits the way all of his characters have been portrayed almost perfectly.


i think it's funny he was a hardcore christian father on "everybody loves raymond"
 
2012-07-19 12:55:39 PM  
That's wacky
 
2012-07-19 12:56:26 PM  
these cops have to be so proud of themselves.. taking hardened criminals like Fred Willard off the streets.
dont you feel so much safer now?
 
2012-07-19 12:56:42 PM  

flushdepot: Whacking it at age 72. You gotta respect that.

/I think


Even more respect at 78.
 
2012-07-19 12:57:30 PM  
"please do not exit though the turnstile." not turn style.

I know it's just a porn theater but show a little effort and education.
 
2012-07-19 12:58:22 PM  
Got to keep them Adult porno theaters safe for our kids....
 
2012-07-19 12:58:56 PM  

dletter: Dang... got in late and didn't see one had already went green before I submitted:

"Fred Willard arrested for showing his Fernwood 2 Night"


That was one helluva funny show. Too bad it didn't last very long.
 
2012-07-19 12:59:22 PM  

Ebenator: I read that as Fred Ward. You know, Remo Williams himself.


That was my initial reaction as well,before quickly realizing that Remo would rather be seen drop-kicking a mutant annelid.
 
2012-07-19 01:01:33 PM  

Cheron: Wait there are still porno theaters?


yes, lots of them all over the country. that's where pervs and porn addicts meet to suck and jerk each other off. a lot of straight guys go too to get an easy BJ. their wives/gf's have no idea.
 
2012-07-19 01:07:56 PM  
I hope I can still jack it at sleazy porno theatres when I'm 78.
 
2012-07-19 01:10:41 PM  
You gotta hand it to the old guy , , , , well, maybe you don't.
 
2012-07-19 01:11:18 PM  

devilEther: Cheron: Wait there are still porno theaters?

yes, lots of them all over the country. that's where pervs and porn addicts meet to suck and jerk each other off. a lot of straight guys go too to get an easy BJ. their wives/gf's have no idea.


Easy BJ? How hot are the chicks that go to these places? awww who cares its dark! *runs out the front door before checking for replies*
 
2012-07-19 01:11:18 PM  
Look at this guy's IMDB page. He is a workaholic. He is ubiquitous.

I'm surprised he didn't do this before the penis reduction surgery. Not so bad getting popped for whacking it in public when you have a massive tool. Impress the cops, look around for paps.

No! Medicine Man not go near Dances With Stumpy! Noooo!
 
2012-07-19 01:14:12 PM  

Mimekiller: devilEther: Cheron: Wait there are still porno theaters?

yes, lots of them all over the country. that's where pervs and porn addicts meet to suck and jerk each other off. a lot of straight guys go too to get an easy BJ. their wives/gf's have no idea.

Easy BJ? How hot are the chicks that go to these places? awww who cares its dark! *runs out the front door before checking for replies*


the BJs you'd get are from...oh nevermind, go have fun.
 
2012-07-19 01:15:59 PM  

Mimekiller: devilEther: Cheron: Wait there are still porno theaters?

yes, lots of them all over the country. that's where pervs and porn addicts meet to suck and jerk each other off. a lot of straight guys go too to get an easy BJ. their wives/gf's have no idea.

Easy BJ? How hot are the chicks that go to these places? awww who cares its dark! *runs out the front door before checking for replies*


I didn't say they get the BJ from a chick.
 
2012-07-19 01:16:13 PM  
Reported to LAPD when the guy in front of Fred got a blast of dust on the back of his head.
 
2012-07-19 01:21:57 PM  
Who exactly was he hurting by whacking it in a porno theater?
 
2012-07-19 01:25:22 PM  
He's 72. When you get it up at that age, you gotta take advantage of the situation. Location be damned.
 
2012-07-19 01:26:26 PM  

slayer199: There are still adult theaters around? Last I heard there was this new-fangled thing called the interwebs that allowed you to find just about any kind of porn you wanted so you could fap at home.



I know it doesn't make much sense, but PEOPLE don't make much sense. There are still plenty of people ordering overpriced porn from PPV or hotel room systems when they have internet available. I do temporary housing and it surprises me too, but it totally happens.

A few months ago I had to have a talk with one of my guests because he ordered so much PPV porn (around $400) that he hit the cable company's billing limit, called in and paid for our bill with his own credit card so he could order MORE PPV porn and in so doing screwed up my bulk accounting for that building. All that and the whole time he had his own wireless router and internet connection in the apartment the whole time.
 
2012-07-19 01:31:32 PM  
Upon his arrest, Willard was quoted, "Excuse me if this off the subject a little bit, but just take a guess at how much I can bench press. Come on, what do you think? Take a guess. 315 pounds, at the top of my game, maxing out at 500!"
 
2012-07-19 01:31:47 PM  

AdolfOliverPanties: He went full Pee Wee. You never go full Pee Wee.


I'm still amazed that anyone ever paid attention to the Pee Wee story when you concider that the other big news story that week was that Jeffrey Dahmer had the neighbors over for dinner..
 
2012-07-19 01:33:06 PM  
Now that Ernest Borgnine has died, the torch must be passed.

(wear gloves when you handle it, though)
 
2012-07-19 01:38:39 PM  
Dammit. Who typed whacking it on the Teleprompter?
 
2012-07-19 01:46:32 PM  
I AM FRED WILLARD
 
2012-07-19 01:48:15 PM  
Is it really "public" if you are inside a private establishment?
 
2012-07-19 01:55:11 PM  

Lost Thought 00: Is it really "public" if you are inside a private establishment?


upload.wikimedia.org
 
2012-07-19 01:56:38 PM  

slayer199: There are still adult theaters around? Last I heard there was this new-fangled thing called the interwebs that allowed you to find just about any kind of porn you wanted so you could fap at home.


C'mon, he's 72. People that old don't know how to use computers
 
2012-07-19 02:04:08 PM  
They still have adult theaters??
 
2012-07-19 02:05:18 PM  
Why are you all so shocked? We're all mature adults; we've both seen our share of pornographic materials.

Oh, you never have? Of course you haven't, how stupid of me. Neither have I. I was just speaking in generalities.
 
2012-07-19 02:10:15 PM  
Wow. I certainly didn't see that one coming.

... I'll go to my corner. -_-
 
2012-07-19 02:10:30 PM  
"Any porno shop in public space that gives you no choice whether you see it or not is yours.
It belongs to you. It's yours to take, rearrange and re-use.
Asking for permission to wank off is like asking to keep a rock someone just threw at your head."
― Banksy

/maybe misquoted
 
2012-07-19 02:10:42 PM  
Dont you sass fred willard. He is a comedy god, and i have never heard an unkind word about him in the industry... Like winkler and ritter. I dont care what he, or anyone does in a porn theater. Btw, if you aren't allowed to polish the bishop watching porn, whats the point? Its not like he was at a school, or even in public.
 
2012-07-19 02:16:40 PM  
What happens in Fernwood - Stays in Fernwood . . .
 
2012-07-19 02:22:02 PM  
 
2012-07-19 02:22:55 PM  

downstairs: They still have adult theaters??


why go to a sports game when you can just sit and watch it at home alone?
 
2012-07-19 02:30:38 PM  
Excuse me if this off the subject a little bit, but just take a guess at how much I can bench press. Come on, what do you think? Take a guess. 315 pounds, at the top of my game, maxing out at 500!
 
2012-07-19 02:35:15 PM  
i155.photobucket.com
 
2012-07-19 02:41:06 PM  

Brother_Mouzone: ah, that's depressing. that guy is great in everything he has ever done. and then at 78 he does that. actually that gives me hope. I hope I am still masturbating at that age.


Unavailable for comment:

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-07-19 02:42:38 PM  

slayer199: There are still adult theaters around? Last I heard there was this new-fangled thing called the interwebs that allowed you to find just about any kind of porn you wanted so you could fap at home.


He's 78, he can't even figure out how to put that damned AOL disk in.
 
2012-07-19 02:43:48 PM  
Put 'em in a cell with a long hose on him, put 'em in a cell with a long hose on him! If he's got a long enough hose, he's gonna have a lot of friends in the shower room.
 
2012-07-19 02:46:18 PM  

devilEther: downstairs: They still have adult theaters??

why go to a sports game when you can just sit and watch it at home alone?


I feel the need to point out to you that whether you watch porn at home or in the theater, it's still just moving pictures................

Now, going to a sex club might be more like going to a game.......
 
2012-07-19 02:52:56 PM  

bungle_jr: i have NEVER and will NEVER understand how spanking it in a porno theater is an arrestable offense!


It's against health code regulations?
 
2012-07-19 02:53:17 PM  

Strik3r: devilEther: downstairs: They still have adult theaters??

why go to a sports game when you can just sit and watch it at home alone?

I feel the need to point out to you that whether you watch porn at home or in the theater, it's still just moving pictures................

Now, going to a sex club might be more like going to a game.......


That and do people actually watch porn movies all the way through nowadays?
 
2012-07-19 02:56:11 PM  
25.media.tumblr.com

I can't do my work!
 
2012-07-19 02:59:18 PM  
I love fred's work.. and could care less if he was beating it in a theater.. the cops shoulda shook his hand and said godspeed funnyman!
 
2012-07-19 03:02:24 PM  

Icetech3: I love fred's work.. and could care less if he was beating it in a theater.. the cops shoulda shook his hand and said godspeed funnyman!


Depends which hand.
 
2012-07-19 03:11:05 PM  

gimmegimme: Who exactly was he hurting by whacking it in a porno theater?


Steve, the janitor.
 
2012-07-19 03:21:53 PM  
Now, if he was female and exposed himself to millions of people, he would have been given his own reality show.
 
2012-07-19 03:22:57 PM  
i.cdn.turner.com
 
2012-07-19 03:32:23 PM  

Cheron: Wait there are still porno theaters?


That was my first thought as well.

Second thought was, "why would a celebrity risk even being *seen* at one, much less rubbing one out in public?"
 
2012-07-19 03:34:10 PM  
Maybe he was watching a movie with that funny comedian. Oh, what's his name? Buddy...Wackit?
 
2012-07-19 03:41:36 PM  
He was honing his craft.
 
2012-07-19 03:42:56 PM  

Strik3r: devilEther: downstairs: They still have adult theaters??

why go to a sports game when you can just sit and watch it at home alone?

I feel the need to point out to you that whether you watch porn at home or in the theater, it's still just moving pictures................

Now, going to a sex club might be more like going to a game.......


it is like a sex club, people hook up at adult theaters and in the peep booths with the glory holes. my point is it's about being around like-minded individuals. you can go there and find lonely perverts like yourself.
 
2012-07-19 03:55:25 PM  
I for one am glad the police are dedicating resources from a strained budget to rid the streets of monsters like this.
 
2012-07-19 04:03:43 PM  
So how does this work anyway? Is there some quota of arrests that a cop has to make, and if he falls short he can go to a porno theater for an easy public masturbation arrest?
 
2012-07-19 04:07:53 PM  

slayer199: There are still adult theaters around? Last I heard there was this new-fangled thing called the interwebs that allowed you to find just about any kind of porn you wanted so you could fap at home.


Short answer: They go there to hook up. Willard is listed as married (I actually thought he was gay) but it's not uncommon in the gay community to meet up there.

Right now its all alleged, but other than being dropped from PBS and no longer being able to work around kids shows, I'm sure we'll continue to see him in Christopher Guest movies and R-rated comedies. We're beyond the Pee-Wee era of pretending porn doesn't exist.
 
2012-07-19 04:09:41 PM  
Do you think it was a Beat Cop that caught him red handed?
 
2012-07-19 04:10:05 PM  
info.tmrdirect.com
 
2012-07-19 04:10:17 PM  

XMark: So how does this work anyway? Is there some quota of arrests that a cop has to make, and if he falls short he can go to a porno theater for an easy public masturbation arrest?


Seriously, what a waste of resources. Unless the theater is calling in a complaint, can we have them focus on the other issues?
 
2012-07-19 04:11:29 PM  

Ed Willy: XMark: So how does this work anyway? Is there some quota of arrests that a cop has to make, and if he falls short he can go to a porno theater for an easy public masturbation arrest?

Seriously, what a waste of resources. Unless the theater is calling in a complaint, can we have them focus on the other issues?


There are 500 child sex crimes in Maricopa County. Sheriff Joe clearly needs help with them.
 
2012-07-19 04:18:54 PM  
It seems oddly fitting- that guy ALWAYS plays either a sleazy bastard or a con artist..
 
2012-07-19 04:20:08 PM  
I look forward to the revival of this man's career!

"I'd hate to go on a date with Judge Edie Franklin and have her judge me, that'd be no fun."
 
2012-07-19 04:21:59 PM  

Nurglitch: I look forward to the revival of this man's career!

"I'd hate to go on a date with Judge Edie Franklin and have her judge me, that'd be no fun."


weird, that same line came to my mind upon hearing this.
 
2012-07-19 04:29:43 PM  

awfulperson: Actual Farking: Wha' Happened?

I was CERTAIN that was going to be the newsflash headline du jour for this story.


It's what I was going to submit, but I figured (correctly) that I was too late.
 
2012-07-19 04:35:16 PM  
natmar_76

titwrench: Was it in San Diego? We totally allow that now. You can do it right in the street if you want.

San Diegan checking in


It's San Diegoans.

/San Diegites?
 
2012-07-19 04:41:57 PM  
Firstly I'm surprised porno theaters still even exist, secondly isn't jacking off what you are supposed to do in them?
 
2012-07-19 04:44:04 PM  
Fred was immediately jerked out of the theater by a Beat cop . . .
 
2012-07-19 04:53:16 PM  
wwwimage.cbsnews.com

Teaser: [i.cdn.turner.com image 700x550]


You forgot one.
 
2012-07-19 04:55:11 PM  
First - this is NOTHING to Fred Willard other than a tiny embarassment that he will forget by Friday. Nobody cares.

Second:

claringtonshpoo.com
 
2012-07-19 04:56:22 PM  
And now he's been fired from PBS' Market Warriors. In other news, Fred Willard was on Market Warriors.
 
2012-07-19 05:09:39 PM  
I have no idea where he would have gotten ahold of German pornography. But you and I are mature adults; we've both seen our share of pornographic materials. Oh, you never have? Of course you haven't, how stupid of me. Neither have I. I was just speaking in generalities. Right. I'll stop by the school a little later, Sister Margaret. Bye.
 
2012-07-19 05:22:00 PM  

Ebenator: I read that as Fred Ward. You know, Remo Williams himself.




Same here. Had to click on the link to be sure.


//damn these glasses!
 
2012-07-19 05:34:23 PM  
Couldn't give less of a shiat. Willard is a comic genius. He gets a pass on everything save homicide or pedobear stuff.
 
2012-07-19 05:37:09 PM  
Method acting?
 
2012-07-19 05:38:09 PM  
TMZ is now reporting he did nothing wrong and will be working vigorously to clear his name.

/ i read that as masterbating furiously
 
2012-07-19 05:48:47 PM  

insertsnarkyusername: Firstly I'm surprised porno theaters still even exist, secondly isn't jacking off what you are supposed to do in them?


This!
 
2012-07-19 05:50:46 PM  
Funny tweet from Albert Brooks @AlbertBrooks
I love Fred Willard. He's a great guy. For his birthday I'm getting him a den and a computer.
 
2012-07-19 05:54:43 PM  
Wow, that porno theater must have pretty high community standards.
 
2012-07-19 06:12:37 PM  
I hope he beats it in court.
 
2012-07-19 06:14:10 PM  
"Right, but I think my son is just going through a phase. I have no idea where he would've gotten ahold of German pornography."
Anchorman
Link
 
2012-07-19 06:16:38 PM  

gimmegimme: There are 500 child sex crimes in Maricopa County. Sheriff Joe clearly needs help with them


I'm no Sheriff Joe fan, but Joe probably did not commit all 500.

/ Probably
 
2012-07-19 06:21:35 PM  
This is so not worth the time for vice, cops, or anybody else to monitor crap like this. Seriously, who is hurt by this? Who even cares? It's not really public, it's a place where stuff like this is supposed to occur, I mean come on, what do you think people are going to do in there, take notes?
 
2012-07-19 06:22:01 PM  
Snatch Bandergrip:It's San Diegoans.

/San Diegites?



San DIegans, my friend, San Diegans.

http://www.sandiegan.com/
 
2012-07-19 06:23:21 PM  
www.artsjournal.com
 
2012-07-19 06:33:11 PM  

jaytkay: gimmegimme: There are 500 child sex crimes in Maricopa County. Sheriff Joe clearly needs help with them

I'm no Sheriff Joe fan, but Joe probably did not commit all 500.

/ Probably


You're just asking questions. Why won't the lamestream media investigate why Sheriff Arpaio is sweeping child sex crimes under the rug? Hmmm....
 
2012-07-19 06:36:52 PM  
So, does the theater keep a spittoon in front of every seat?
 
2012-07-19 06:59:55 PM  
Who keeps letting the cops into the masterbatoriums?
 
2012-07-19 07:19:29 PM  
i.telegraph.co.uk

Available For Comment (NSFW Language)
 
2012-07-19 07:23:35 PM  
Actor Fred Willard has been fired by PBS after being arrested for "engaging in a lewd act."


Link
 
2012-07-19 07:33:48 PM  
Great Job!
 
2012-07-19 08:44:04 PM  
Doesn't this Fred Williams guy know that masturbation is a sin? This is God's punishment for being evil, plain and simple.
 
2012-07-19 08:48:00 PM  
Nah, I'm really just kidding. I think Fred Willard is an awesome actor, in that I enjoy many of his roles so thoroughly. Before Best In Show, I'd never really paid him much attention, but his role in that movie really cultured my appreciation for his talent and in doing so, also opened my eyes to the rest of the comedic talent in that movie. So for that, I will dedicate my the rest of my evening to public masturbation...deep down inside I know Fred Willard would have wanted it this way.
 
2012-07-19 09:25:40 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2012-07-19 09:38:04 PM  
FTFA: there are 3 flicks in rotation at the theater ... "Follow Me 2," a XXX parody of "The Client List," and "Step Dad No. 2."

That's two flicks playing. What's the third?

/one, two, three
//1, 2, 3
 
2012-07-19 09:42:14 PM  
I hope I can still rub one out when I'm his age.
 
2012-07-19 09:42:30 PM  
He went and farked himself, San Diego.
 
2012-07-19 09:51:13 PM  

Crewmannumber6: Brother_Mouzone: ah, that's depressing. that guy is great in everything he has ever done. and then at 78 he does that. actually that gives me hope. I hope I am still masturbating at that age.

I don't know at what age you stop, but I do know it isn't 52.


Or 55 imc.

Or 94, if you're Ernest Borgnine.

As for Fred? I always have thought he was a little 'off' but jerkin' it in a porn theater ESPECIALLY when there is so much free stuff on the intertubes?

There's a little more sickness going on here than just a quick 'yank and crank' ifyouknowwhatImean/amIrightoramIright?.
 
2012-07-19 09:52:40 PM  
Are they allowed to just cover up the parking meter like that??


farm3.staticflickr.com
 
2012-07-19 09:53:08 PM  
i49.tinypic.com
 
2012-07-19 10:14:29 PM  

jaytkay: [lh6.googleusercontent.com image 640x438]


Oh that brings back the memories.

In my day there was only one girly picture in the whole town. It was given to our town by Henry Ford. Mr. Ford gave us that picture as a reward for scaring all of the Jews out of town.

Anyways, all of the men in town had to share the picture. Once in while us boys would get our hands on that picture. We'd go out in the woods and form a circle around that picture while we made sauerkraut. We called it making sauerkraut cause of the war. And the last one to finish making his sauerkraut got tied to a tree. We'd fill our socks with turnips and beat that boy till he was bloody. We'd learn him real good.

None of this jerkin in your mommy's basement like you sissys do nowadays.

And we didn't have any of those fancy sex gadgets like you punks have today. The closest thing we had to a vibrator was a beehive. Of course then you had to worry about the bears having their way with ya. Back in those days we called bears furry horses. "Careful of the furry horses while you've got a beehive in your pants" you'd say.

Anyways, that's why our town has a statue of Abraham Lincoln making coleslaw.
 
2012-07-19 10:35:05 PM  

StrikitRich: [wwwimage.cbsnews.com image 370x278]

Teaser: [i.cdn.turner.com image 700x550]

You forgot one.


I had this as a shirt.

I follow him on Facebook, hes pretty awesome.
 
2012-07-19 10:43:03 PM  
I'll restate the same as others have, How exactly is this illegal? Those places have hardcore sex depicted on the covers of the magazines, DVD boxes, posters and whatever else. The movie itself has hardcore sex acts on display, so how is it offensive if you whip your dick out and rub one out? I get why they arrest people in public bathrooms when they do shiat like this, but porn theaters? This makes no sense. We live in such a sexually repressed society it's ridiculous.
 
2012-07-19 10:55:11 PM  
He tweets a lot so he likely has a smart phone. Fred there's an app for porn.

https://twitter.com/fred_willard
 
2012-07-19 11:08:27 PM  
A guy's gotta relax.
 
2012-07-19 11:31:10 PM  

AfroX: [Daffy Duck fapping]



This ALWAYS makes me laugh.

And you, sir, win tonight's Internet for being the Weeners it.
 
2012-07-19 11:58:08 PM  

LikeALeafOnTheWind: these cops have to be so proud of themselves.. taking hardened criminals like Fred Willard off the streets.
dont you feel so much safer now?


a person that could actually go through the motions of such an arrest has to be just dead inside. all hopes, dreams and joy forever dashed away. as Mr.T said: "I pity the fool".
 
2012-07-20 03:28:02 AM  
He wasn't masturbating in public. He was masturbating in a porn theater. The whole episode seems rotten to me. Isn't it akin to the booze police standing right outside a bar and nabbing most everyone walking out for "public drunkenness"??
 
2012-07-20 06:37:04 AM  

Flutterbiitch: StrikitRich: [wwwimage.cbsnews.com image 370x278]

Teaser: [i.cdn.turner.com image 700x550]

You forgot one.

I had this as a shirt.

I follow him on Facebook, hes pretty awesome.


Drive by the site of the old theater every day. There's a Red Lobster on it now.
 
2012-07-20 09:08:14 AM  

ReapTheChaos: I'll restate the same as others have, How exactly is this illegal? Those places have hardcore sex depicted on the covers of the magazines, DVD boxes, posters and whatever else. The movie itself has hardcore sex acts on display, so how is it offensive if you whip your dick out and rub one out? I get why they arrest people in public bathrooms when they do shiat like this, but porn theaters? This makes no sense. We live in such a sexually repressed society it's ridiculous.


Ummmmm...it's illegal because it is a health hazard. A theater is not a "jerk booth". The seats are not designed to be soaked in semen. There are booths where such actions are legal and allowed, it is not an open theater.

And for those who wonder "why in the age of the web" he would do this...have you ever heard of fetishes? Some dudes love the sleazy feel of jerkin it in a porn theater. For Willard, who was in his prime back in the 70's when porn theaters were more prevalent, it's probably nostalgic. Part of the appeal is the idea of being "in a public place", it's a thrill in itself.

Personally, it seems gross. Just too messy and smelly and in no way exciting. But on the many-petaled flower of humanity, and human sexuality, there exists all the colors of the rainbow. Not gonna judge a brotha.
 
2012-07-20 09:35:30 AM  
Isn't that what you do there? I used to go to those peep shows where the girl is in that room and dances when your window opens. I used to blast the glass like a madman. That's what you did when you went to those places. You tried not to touch anything, and did your business. Also, those places all seemed to smell like AIDS.
 
2012-07-20 09:35:43 AM  
Giant 10' dick on the screen spurting gobs of man juice? No problem. Totally legal.

Tiny 7" dick in that movie's audience, doing the same? Indecent!!!!

Yeah, this makes about as much sense as arresting someone for starting arguments with the corpses in a graveyard.
 
2012-07-20 09:39:33 AM  

ZeroCorpse: Tiny 7" dick


Seven inches is tiny? For what, a donkey?
 
2012-07-20 10:36:01 AM  

maxx2112: ZeroCorpse: Tiny 7" dick

Seven inches is tiny? For what, a donkey?


Some people have very strict standards when it comes to dicks.
 
2012-07-20 12:52:54 PM  

bigwave: [25.media.tumblr.com image 500x300]

I can't do my work!


I've got a lil red wagon really red weiner!

/I don't think sooo
 
2012-07-20 05:33:17 PM  

Optimus Primate: ReapTheChaos: I'll restate the same as others have, How exactly is this illegal? Those places have hardcore sex depicted on the covers of the magazines, DVD boxes, posters and whatever else. The movie itself has hardcore sex acts on display, so how is it offensive if you whip your dick out and rub one out? I get why they arrest people in public bathrooms when they do shiat like this, but porn theaters? This makes no sense. We live in such a sexually repressed society it's ridiculous.

Ummmmm...it's illegal because it is a health hazard. A theater is not a "jerk booth". The seats are not designed to be soaked in semen. There are booths where such actions are legal and allowed, it is not an open theater.

And for those who wonder "why in the age of the web" he would do this...have you ever heard of fetishes? Some dudes love the sleazy feel of jerkin it in a porn theater. For Willard, who was in his prime back in the 70's when porn theaters were more prevalent, it's probably nostalgic. Part of the appeal is the idea of being "in a public place", it's a thrill in itself.

Personally, it seems gross. Just too messy and smelly and in no way exciting. But on the many-petaled flower of humanity, and human sexuality, there exists all the colors of the rainbow. Not gonna judge a brotha.


Wow you're an idiot aren't you. It's not illegal because the cum soaks into the seat. He got charged with lewd conduct not a heath code violation. And just for the record, it's just as illegal inside those booths as it is in the theater, it's just harder to catch someone because they usually have a locked door, but people have been arrested in those as well.
 
2012-07-20 06:08:21 PM  
Shouldn't the headline read: Fred Willard gets the "pull-it" surprise?
 
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