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(Mirror.co.uk)   Fifty Shades of Holy Crap. Holy crap that's a lot of holy crap   (mirror.co.uk) divider line 76
    More: Amusing, Holy Crap, grey  
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15324 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 18 Jul 2012 at 7:57 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-18 05:43:32 PM
Gilbert Gottfried agrees NSFW language
 
2012-07-18 06:11:39 PM
i386.photobucket.com
 
2012-07-18 07:10:00 PM
Very few people are making the claim that the book in question is well written.
 
2012-07-18 07:31:08 PM
Yet another validation of my decision to not read this book.
 
2012-07-18 07:32:21 PM

wingedkat: Yet another validation of my decision to not read this book.


Read Anne Rice's (As A.N. Roquelar) Beauty series instead.
 
2012-07-18 07:35:02 PM
"Holy crap, these nipple clamps hurt."
 
2012-07-18 08:01:09 PM
Holy crap that was difficult to read without retching....
 
2012-07-18 08:04:49 PM

Mugato: Gilbert Gottfried agrees NSFW language


TFA sucks, but that was funny. Thanks!
 
2012-07-18 08:06:14 PM

Mugato: Gilbert Gottfried agrees NSFW language


This never gets old.
 
2012-07-18 08:13:59 PM
Anastasia Steel? Is this a bad Harlequin novel?

Oh, it is...
 
2012-07-18 08:15:18 PM

SurfaceTension: wingedkat: Yet another validation of my decision to not read this book.

Read Anne Rice's (As A.N. Roquelar) Beauty series instead.


I agree.
 
2012-07-18 08:27:12 PM

Mugato: Gilbert Gottfried agrees NSFW language


If he read the whole series, I'd listen to it.
 
2012-07-18 08:34:34 PM
Then there's the Selena Gomez take on the book...

Fifty Shades of Blue

/love the sponsor credit at the end
 
2012-07-18 08:37:17 PM

sleeps in trees: SurfaceTension: wingedkat: Yet another validation of my decision to not read this book.

Read Anne Rice's (As A.N. Roquelar) Beauty series instead.

I agree.


I agree, too, up until it becomes a stick-random-objects-up-guys'-butts-fest.

It started promising, though.
 
2012-07-18 08:41:23 PM

Saborlas: Very few people are making the claim that the book in question is well written.


Then why read it?
A crappy movie is 2 hours at best, and if it's really bad there may be some campy fun to it. Also sometimes there is just nothing else on. When are you ever in a situation when you can't find a better book?

This book has reached female critical mass. It's not good, but everyone else is doing it.
Viral marketing have made this phenomenon much more common it seems.
 
2012-07-18 08:56:34 PM
50 Shades of Grey is a milder rip off of the Story of O from 1954 and a water downed version at that, and even goes as back to the M de Sade.

Women like dominant men and like to be spanked, so we have an old fat woman who was able to sell it to the masses.
 
2012-07-18 08:57:29 PM
Frank Barone unavailable for comment.
 
2012-07-18 09:03:57 PM

Saborlas: Very few people are making the claim that the book in question is well written.


Some even maintain that it is wholly crap.
 
2012-07-18 09:16:54 PM
lrlr.org
Holy Crap!
 
2012-07-18 09:18:07 PM
Didn't this have something to do with vampires?
 
2012-07-18 09:26:13 PM
i117.photobucket.com
 
2012-07-18 09:29:06 PM
Guy I know is riding the NY subway. Next to him is a girl reading a kindle, making occasional odd noises in her throat. He looks over, sees she's reading "50 Shades of Grey." He's amused, but doesn't think much of it. Next stop, she gets off the train... AND THERE IS A PUDDLE ON THE SEAT SHE JUST LEFT.

Gyuh!
 
2012-07-18 09:34:19 PM
Mugato: Gilbert Gottfried agrees NSFW language

Silver balls (NSFW word or two)
 
2012-07-18 09:40:34 PM
Will it rival the rampant incontinence of the characters that inhabit George Martin's Song of Ice and Fire series?

/loosest bowels in the Seven Kingdoms
 
2012-07-18 09:40:51 PM
SurfaceTension: wingedkat: Yet another validation of my decision to not read this book.

Read Anne Rice's (As A.N. Roquelar) Beauty series instead.


Does she use the word "preternatural" constantly in those, too?
 
2012-07-18 09:45:49 PM
So all the parodies aside, what puts "50 Shades of Grey" apart from the other 50 romance novels you see on the shelves of any book store? I'm going to take a wild guess and guess that the the main character's name is "Grey". Because that would be unprecedented. Because see, his name his "Grey". And it's in the title. Grey, get it?
 
2012-07-18 09:47:23 PM
Scary story bro:
I took my mom, who works at a library, shopping last Saturday. She wanted to go to a used bookstore and find a secondhand copy of 50 Shades. The scary part isn't that my mom was openly talking to me about her desire to buy mom-porn - the scary part is she wanted it because my father kept asking her to bring the library's copy home because HE wanted to read it.

CSB:
The library had to pull their copy from the shelves and take it out of circulation after the local fundamentalists got pissy. So now it sits underneath the counter with it's own personal request list and is just handed out off the books. Every name on that list is a regular churchgoing bluehaired old lady. The very ones who complained and now ask to make sure no one knows they're checking it out.
 
2012-07-18 09:47:37 PM

SurfaceTension: wingedkat: Yet another validation of my decision to not read this book.

Read Anne Rice's (As A.N. Roquelar) Beauty series instead.


Oh, I'm sure it is *much* better. However, I'm not a big Anne rice fan. Her narrative voice grates on my nerves. Is the erotica different from her other fiction?
 
2012-07-18 09:50:10 PM
The O and A guys rip into the novel here. Jimmy Norton has some killer lines. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iyjAqi7rYVA
 
2012-07-18 09:59:51 PM
Love the Gilbert Gottfried reading.

What the hell do they mean by mummy porn?
 
2012-07-18 10:11:24 PM

Duck_of_Doom: Mugato: Gilbert Gottfried agrees NSFW language

Silver balls (NSFW word or two)


that one is great.

/always bet on Duke
 
2012-07-18 10:16:00 PM

wildcardjack: What the hell do they mean by mummy porn?


Porn that is "acceptable" for middle-aged women to read. In other words, anything classified in the romance section.
 
2012-07-18 10:18:27 PM

DarkPascual: Anastasia Steel? Is this a bad Harlequin novel?

Oh, it is...


Worse. It was originally Twilight slash internet fan-fiction.
 
2012-07-18 10:51:44 PM

Loucifer: Saborlas: Very few people are making the claim that the book in question is well written.

Some even maintain that it is wholly crap.


huzzah! well done.
 
2012-07-18 11:42:35 PM
www.itst-shirttime.com
 
2012-07-19 12:14:46 AM

Farker Soze: DarkPascual: Anastasia Steel? Is this a bad Harlequin novel?

Oh, it is...

Worse. It was originally Twilight slash internet fan-fiction.


There is market for that?

Huh, time to find those old Dragon Ball Z/Gilmore Girls crossover fics...
 
2012-07-19 12:32:45 AM
My kajigger!
 
2012-07-19 12:36:03 AM
If you poke around on the internet, it's obvious that the phrase the "author" used was holy shiat, not holy crap.

Now That's What I Call a Taco!: Guy I know is riding the NY subway. Next to him is a girl reading a kindle, making occasional odd noises in her throat. He looks over, sees she's reading "50 Shades of Grey." He's amused, but doesn't think much of it. Next stop, she gets off the train... AND THERE IS A PUDDLE ON THE SEAT SHE JUST LEFT.

Gyuh!


Really? I know a guy whose girlfriend's best friend's cousin's aunt once saw Brad Pitt at a Burger King.
 
2012-07-19 01:25:08 AM

SurfaceTension: wingedkat: Yet another validation of my decision to not read this book.

Read Anne Rice's (As A.N. Roquelar) Beauty series instead.


Even that series is pretty weak writing, read anything by Pat Califia instead. Also, Cleis Press
 
2012-07-19 03:11:53 AM

wingedkat: SurfaceTension: wingedkat: Yet another validation of my decision to not read this book.

Read Anne Rice's (As A.N. Roquelar) Beauty series instead.

Oh, I'm sure it is *much* better. However, I'm not a big Anne rice fan. Her narrative voice grates on my nerves. Is the erotica different from her other fiction?


As far as gothic fairy-tale BDSM goes, it's pretty good, though after 100 or so pages, it begins to get repetitive (I read all three volumes to make sure).
 
2012-07-19 03:31:55 AM
1.bp.blogspot.com

*rereads headline*

Oh wait. My bad.
 
2012-07-19 05:27:43 AM

dg41: Frank Barone unavailable for comment.


The lines from the book are hilarious if you picture Frank saying them!
 
2012-07-19 06:13:02 AM
"Holy crap!" is to this book as the word "coffee" is to the Dragon Tattoo trilogy.
 
2012-07-19 06:47:07 AM

Six_By_Nine: Mugato: Gilbert Gottfried agrees NSFW language

If he read the whole series, I'd listen to it.


This.

I really want Gilbert Gottfried to read as many bad romance novels as possible. It would make my life much better.
 
2012-07-19 07:42:23 AM

wingedkat: Yet another validation of my decision to not read this book.


I tried reading it. I'm a male, but i wanted to see what all the hoopla was about. It's written very amateurish, almost like what a teenager would write.
 
2012-07-19 07:52:25 AM

HotWingAgenda: If you poke around on the internet, it's obvious that the phrase the "author" used was holy shiat, not holy crap.

Now That's What I Call a Taco!: Guy I know is riding the NY subway. Next to him is a girl reading a kindle, making occasional odd noises in her throat. He looks over, sees she's reading "50 Shades of Grey." He's amused, but doesn't think much of it. Next stop, she gets off the train... AND THERE IS A PUDDLE ON THE SEAT SHE JUST LEFT.

Gyuh!

Really? I know a guy whose girlfriend's best friend's cousin's aunt once saw Brad Pitt at a Burger King.


how come this is what popped into my head?
Um, he's sick. My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw Ferris pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious
 
2012-07-19 08:51:54 AM
Boiled leather.
 
2012-07-19 09:46:08 AM

Now That's What I Call a Taco!: Guy I know is riding the NY subway. Next to him is a girl reading a kindle, making occasional odd noises in her throat. He looks over, sees she's reading "50 Shades of Grey." He's amused, but doesn't think much of it. Next stop, she gets off the train... AND THERE IS A PUDDLE ON THE SEAT SHE JUST LEFT.

Gyuh!


Well....did he sniff it or not? Stop making us wait!
 
2012-07-19 09:47:51 AM
Is anyone surprised? I'd like to see someone do Game of Thrones next...with his goddamm "Small Wonder".
 
2012-07-19 09:49:30 AM

Now That's What I Call a Taco!: Guy I know is riding the NY subway. Next to him is a girl reading a kindle, making occasional odd noises in her throat. He looks over, sees she's reading "50 Shades of Grey." He's amused, but doesn't think much of it. Next stop, she gets off the train... AND THERE IS A PUDDLE ON THE SEAT SHE JUST LEFT.

Gyuh!


That never happened.
 
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