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(Independent)   50 shades of Mr. Darcy   (independent.co.uk) divider line 134
    More: Amusing, Pride and Prejudice, Jane Eyre, Arthur Conan Doyle, Dr Watson, Jane Austen, Clandestine Classics, Wuthering Heights  
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19175 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jul 2012 at 5:41 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-18 12:09:28 PM
www.backtotheeighties.net
 
2012-07-18 12:12:04 PM
I've only ever read Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, but the relationship between Mr. Darcy and whatever sister he ended up with just felt forced. She obviously outright loathed him right at the start.

/all the Jane Austin parts were boring as shiat too
 
2012-07-18 12:16:18 PM
"If you will thank me," he replied, "let it be for yourself alone. That the wish of giving happiness to you might add force to the other inducements which led me on, I shall not attempt to deny. But your family owe me nothing. Much as I respect them, I believe I thought only of you."

That's so farking hot.
 
2012-07-18 01:38:38 PM

CavalierEternal: [www.backtotheeighties.net image 512x384]


Jumped the shark in one
 
2012-07-18 02:40:41 PM
Over in one.
 
2012-07-18 02:56:04 PM
www.albundy.net
 
2012-07-18 03:00:00 PM

cretinbob: [www.albundy.net image 459x348]


That was Mr. Rhodes.
 
2012-07-18 03:11:24 PM

CavalierEternal: cretinbob: [www.albundy.net image 459x348]

That was Mr. Rhodes.


No, he was still Mr. Darcy
 
2012-07-18 03:15:20 PM

cretinbob: CavalierEternal: cretinbob: [www.albundy.net image 459x348]

That was Mr. Rhodes.

No, he was still Mr. Darcy


Do not challenge my Married...With Children knowledge.
 
2012-07-18 05:05:48 PM
I have GOT to read this "Fifty Shades of Grey".

/Relevant to my interests.
 
2012-07-18 05:44:40 PM

The My Little Pony Killer: I've only ever read Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, but the relationship between Mr. Darcy and whatever sister he ended up with just felt forced. She obviously outright loathed him right at the start.

/all the Jane Austin parts were boring as shiat too


I bought that book too. I never managed to read more than a few chapters though. Not even zombies could make interesting for me.
 
2012-07-18 05:45:39 PM
Ladies: read less, do more.
 
2012-07-18 05:47:15 PM

SoxSweepAgain: I have GOT to read this "Fifty Shades of Grey".

/Relevant to my interests.


I understand it's to BDSM what Twilight is to vampires. So meh.

Also, Jane Austen must be spinning in her grave.
 
2012-07-18 05:48:29 PM
Steve Rhodes was NOT Jefferson Darcy.
 
2012-07-18 05:48:45 PM

CavalierEternal: cretinbob: CavalierEternal: cretinbob: [www.albundy.net image 459x348]

That was Mr. Rhodes.

No, he was still Mr. Darcy

Do not challenge my Married...With Children knowledge.


Personally I think you are both wrong

The real Mr. Darcy

i.cdn.turner.com

/so so hot
//not that, the other thing
///okay that too
 
2012-07-18 05:49:43 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2012-07-18 05:52:16 PM
SoxSweepAgain: /Relevant to my interests.

You're interests include fan-fiction based on terrible writing?
 
2012-07-18 05:52:47 PM
50 Shades of Team Coco
50 Shades of The Stig
 
2012-07-18 05:53:17 PM
but who am I to criticize bad writing?
 
2012-07-18 05:53:32 PM
Some rich dude bending over backwards to please despite you having been rejected and insulted.

I generally like Austin but that was /fanfic at its worst.
 
2012-07-18 05:54:24 PM

The My Little Pony Killer: I've only ever read Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, but the relationship between Mr. Darcy and whatever sister he ended up with just felt forced. She obviously outright loathed him right at the start.

/all the Jane Austin parts were boring as shiat too


The point is supposed to be that they both embody the title. So she does hate him at the beginning, but then he proves to her that he's not who she thought he was.

\Never read the version with zombies. Maybe the Austen part suffers under the grafting.
\\All the "action" of the novel is in the details of social interactions, so I get why some think it's boring.
 
2012-07-18 05:56:52 PM

CavalierEternal: [www.backtotheeighties.net image 512x384]


Done in one. Leaving satisfied, etc.
 
2012-07-18 05:57:22 PM

Needlessly Complicated: SoxSweepAgain: I have GOT to read this "Fifty Shades of Grey".

/Relevant to my interests.

I understand it's to BDSM what Twilight is to vampires. So meh.

Also, Jane Austen must be spinning in her grave.


Wrap her in copper and we could power a small town.
 
2012-07-18 05:58:53 PM
www.goodhousekeeping.com
 
2012-07-18 06:00:51 PM
So in Jane Eyre will there be a three way with her, Mr. Rochester and his crazy wife?
//Forced to read the book in high school
 
2012-07-18 06:01:29 PM

imgod2u: Some rich dude bending over backwards to please despite you having been rejected and insulted.

I generally like Austin but that was /fanfic at its worst.


I actually kinda can't stand Mansfield Park any more, even though I loved it as a teen. I realized it's basically the story of a guy raising an impressionable girl to share all his opinions and values, then discovering she shares all his opinions and values, and marrying his little creation. She does prove to have superior judgement and steadfastness than him, but the whole thing still became a little weird for me.
 
2012-07-18 06:02:10 PM
Everyone's focusing on the Austen and Bronte stuff, but nobody's picking up on the Holmes/Watson affair thing? Not that there's anything wrong with that, but do we really need to be doing this to the classics? If so, why stop there?

I'm sure we can come up with some other ways to sex up the classics. What were Huck and Jim up to on that raft? They were naked the whole time. How about Moby Dick? Hallelujah, it's raining men, on a BOAT! Personally I'd like more info on how Hester got that scarlet letter, if you know what I mean.
 
2012-07-18 06:08:30 PM

Skirl Hutsenreiter: imgod2u: Some rich dude bending over backwards to please despite you having been rejected and insulted.

I generally like Austin but that was /fanfic at its worst.

I actually kinda can't stand Mansfield Park any more, even though I loved it as a teen. I realized it's basically the story of a guy raising an impressionable girl to share all his opinions and values, then discovering she shares all his opinions and values, and marrying his little creation. She does prove to have superior judgement and steadfastness than him, but the whole thing still became a little weird for me.


So in conclusion:

Mansfield Park = Woody Allen
Pride and Prejudice = Hugh Grant/Meg Ryan

Wonder what Persuasion would be; by far my favorite of Austen's load.
 
2012-07-18 06:09:42 PM
"Sex, Holmes? But how, sir?"
"Alimentary, my dear Watson."
 
2012-07-18 06:10:53 PM

Martstar: Everyone's focusing on the Austen and Bronte stuff, but nobody's picking up on the Holmes/Watson affair thing? Not that there's anything wrong with that, but do we really need to be doing this to the classics? If so, why stop there?

I'm sure we can come up with some other ways to sex up the classics. What were Huck and Jim up to on that raft? They were naked the whole time. How about Moby Dick? Hallelujah, it's raining men, on a BOAT! Personally I'd like more info on how Hester got that scarlet letter, if you know what I mean.


Why not go even more classical?
But when the wine had knocked him out, I put my plan into effect. Heating the end of the pole until it was glowing red, we ran it toward the Cyclops like a battering ram, aiming it for his eye and driving it deep.
 
2012-07-18 06:11:57 PM

Martstar: Everyone's focusing on the Austen and Bronte stuff, but nobody's picking up on the Holmes/Watson affair thing? Not that there's anything wrong with that, but do we really need to be doing this to the classics? If so, why stop there?

I'm sure we can come up with some other ways to sex up the classics. What were Huck and Jim up to on that raft? They were naked the whole time. How about Moby Dick? Hallelujah, it's raining men, on a BOAT! Personally I'd like more info on how Hester got that scarlet letter, if you know what I mean.


Because -- especially with Bronte but to some degree Austen as well -- the stuff written by those two were essentially female porn for their time. It's equivalent to cheesy drug store novels like 50 Shades of Gilbert Godfrey.

This isn't so much taking classics and adding sex as it is updating old porn into new porn. Like resurrecting John Holmes movies but editing all the crotch hair out.
 
2012-07-18 06:14:33 PM

ProfessorOhki: Martstar: Everyone's focusing on the Austen and Bronte stuff, but nobody's picking up on the Holmes/Watson affair thing? Not that there's anything wrong with that, but do we really need to be doing this to the classics? If so, why stop there?

I'm sure we can come up with some other ways to sex up the classics. What were Huck and Jim up to on that raft? They were naked the whole time. How about Moby Dick? Hallelujah, it's raining men, on a BOAT! Personally I'd like more info on how Hester got that scarlet letter, if you know what I mean.

Why not go even more classical?
But when the wine had knocked him out, I put my plan into effect. Heating the end of the pole until it was glowing red, we ran it toward the Cyclops like a battering ram, aiming it for his eye and driving it deep.


As Gilgamesh and Enkidu rolled through the ground struggling and grappling each other's arms, their hearts throbbed with blood and rage, that rage....turned to passion.
 
2012-07-18 06:16:36 PM
I think most of us clicked on the link and this thread in hopes that Ted McGinley was getting work again.
 
2012-07-18 06:16:42 PM
"50 Shades Of Politics". This Sunday night on CNBC.
 
2012-07-18 06:17:20 PM
Oh for farks sake just farking stop already. Not every book needs to be turned into something with ill conceived and poorly written sex scenes. I blame Fifty Shades of BDSM for People Who Have Never Had Interesting Sex for this shiat.
 
2012-07-18 06:19:16 PM

AngryPoet: So in Jane Eyre will there be a three way with her, Mr. Rochester and his crazy wife?
//Forced to read the book in high school


Came here to say this but you beat me to it. Along the same line they could do Wuthering Heights with some supernatural Catherine's ghost action as well.
 
2012-07-18 06:20:42 PM

Smeggy Smurf: 50 Shades of Team Coco
50 Shades of The Stig


Co-co-co?

images.zap2it.com

/why yes I am retarded, why?
 
2012-07-18 06:20:48 PM

imgod2u: ProfessorOhki: Martstar: Everyone's focusing on the Austen and Bronte stuff, but nobody's picking up on the Holmes/Watson affair thing? Not that there's anything wrong with that, but do we really need to be doing this to the classics? If so, why stop there?

I'm sure we can come up with some other ways to sex up the classics. What were Huck and Jim up to on that raft? They were naked the whole time. How about Moby Dick? Hallelujah, it's raining men, on a BOAT! Personally I'd like more info on how Hester got that scarlet letter, if you know what I mean.

Why not go even more classical?
But when the wine had knocked him out, I put my plan into effect. Heating the end of the pole until it was glowing red, we ran it toward the Cyclops like a battering ram, aiming it for his eye and driving it deep.

As Gilgamesh and Enkidu rolled through the ground struggling and grappling each other's arms, their hearts throbbed with blood and rage, that rage....turned to passion.


Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra, their loins afire.
 
2012-07-18 06:21:26 PM
 
2012-07-18 06:22:31 PM
I'm going to write my own Twilight fan fiction and call it 75 Shades of Pantone Pinks and make it a lesbian political thriller. Hilary Clinton and Condoleeza Rice can be the stars in the film adaptation.
 
2012-07-18 06:24:33 PM

imgod2u: ProfessorOhki: Martstar: Everyone's focusing on the Austen and Bronte stuff, but nobody's picking up on the Holmes/Watson affair thing? Not that there's anything wrong with that, but do we really need to be doing this to the classics? If so, why stop there?

I'm sure we can come up with some other ways to sex up the classics. What were Huck and Jim up to on that raft? They were naked the whole time. How about Moby Dick? Hallelujah, it's raining men, on a BOAT! Personally I'd like more info on how Hester got that scarlet letter, if you know what I mean.

Why not go even more classical?
But when the wine had knocked him out, I put my plan into effect. Heating the end of the pole until it was glowing red, we ran it toward the Cyclops like a battering ram, aiming it for his eye and driving it deep.

As Gilgamesh and Enkidu rolled through the ground struggling and grappling each other's arms, their hearts throbbed with blood and rage, that rage....turned to passion.


Then the un-named author, upon finding out his lover had cheated on him, took those hearts and buried them in the floor. He spent many a night wanking while listening to the thumping pulses.

/terrible use of Poe
//I'm aware and apologize.
 
2012-07-18 06:25:54 PM
OK, stop for a second.

How is 50 Shades of Gray "fan fiction" when there are no sparkly vampires? There is no connection whatsoever between the characters and setting of Twilight and those of 50 Shades. So why do people call it fanfic?
 
2012-07-18 06:27:30 PM

had98c: imgod2u: ProfessorOhki: Martstar: Everyone's focusing on the Austen and Bronte stuff, but nobody's picking up on the Holmes/Watson affair thing? Not that there's anything wrong with that, but do we really need to be doing this to the classics? If so, why stop there?

I'm sure we can come up with some other ways to sex up the classics. What were Huck and Jim up to on that raft? They were naked the whole time. How about Moby Dick? Hallelujah, it's raining men, on a BOAT! Personally I'd like more info on how Hester got that scarlet letter, if you know what I mean.

Why not go even more classical?
But when the wine had knocked him out, I put my plan into effect. Heating the end of the pole until it was glowing red, we ran it toward the Cyclops like a battering ram, aiming it for his eye and driving it deep.

As Gilgamesh and Enkidu rolled through the ground struggling and grappling each other's arms, their hearts throbbed with blood and rage, that rage....turned to passion.

Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra, their loins afire.


www.wanderinggoblin.com

Kirk and Spock, bathing in the starlight.
 
2012-07-18 06:30:50 PM
weknowmemes.com
 
2012-07-18 06:31:11 PM
I'm reminded of a line from Pandora's Star "I don't remember there being this many lesbian sex scenes in Pride and Prejudice"

Okay, that's a paraphrase because I don't have a copy of the book handy, but still it's a matter of how 300 year old books can change because the 24th century is a lot more kinky.
 
2012-07-18 06:31:23 PM
Now as I understand, FSG, started out as, now don't get upset, Twilight fanfic. Now, by itself, that would disqualify it. Add to that, many real writers, and the BDSM community have reported that it gives a very distorted view of the community. So short form, I would give it a pass.
 
2012-07-18 06:33:04 PM
The idea can be applied to almost any book.

i168.photobucket.com

/NTTAWWT
 
2012-07-18 06:33:58 PM

FrancoFile: How is 50 Shades of Gray "fan fiction" when there are no sparkly vampires? There is no connection whatsoever between the characters and setting of Twilight and those of 50 Shades. So why do people call it fanfic?


Because the author said it started as Twilight fan fiction. Then she changed the main character from being a sparkly vampire to just being really ridiculously rich, changed some names (Edward became Christian, Bella became Anastasia, Jacob became Jose) and ta-da! it became published.
 
2012-07-18 06:34:27 PM
It would be fun for all the farker to pick a novel and re-write it using farking thread material, or so I have heard.
Lets start with the phone book. It's about out of date anyway.
 
2012-07-18 06:36:37 PM

had98c: AngryPoet: So in Jane Eyre will there be a three way with her, Mr. Rochester and his crazy wife?
//Forced to read the book in high school

Came here to say this but you beat me to it. Along the same line they could do Wuthering Heights with some supernatural Catherine's ghost action as well.


Wuthering Heights is almost kinky enough with all the hate-farking that clearly goes on off-page.
 
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