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(Uproxx)   Internet wins. Pitbull is now a greeter in Alaska's most desolate Wal-Mart   (uproxx.com) divider line 68
    More: Followup, online, pit bull, Alaska  
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9217 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 18 Jul 2012 at 1:23 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



68 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-07-18 12:29:36 PM  
Let's hope he doesn't swear in his music, like most rappers. Walmart will have to censor him.

/never buy music at Walmart
 
2012-07-18 01:13:30 PM  
am i cynical to think that thorpe was approached by walmart to launch this campaign as viral marketing?
 
2012-07-18 01:26:57 PM  
The internet only truly wins if he's eaten by a bear while he's up there.

Seriously, fark Pitbull and anybody who enjoys his "music".
 
2012-07-18 01:32:46 PM  
"(see what I did there? Arrtic? lmao, right?)"

Err, whut?
 
2012-07-18 01:37:15 PM  
Let's just hope they keep him.
 
2012-07-18 01:37:37 PM  

Yanks_RSJ: The internet only truly wins if he's eaten by a bear while he's up there.


I'd be happy with that outcome.

Alternatively, maybe he can hop on a crab boat for a "very special episode" of Deadliest Catch where the crew pulls a prank by throwing him in a crab pod and tossing it overboard.
 
2012-07-18 01:39:24 PM  

Yanks_RSJ: The internet only truly wins if he's eaten by a bear while he's up there.

Seriously, fark Pitbull and anybody who enjoys his "music".


my only problem with him is that he seems to think that the american public is stupid enough to believe him when he endorses both dr. pepper and bud light as the preferred drink at his wild dance parties. WHICH IS IT PITBULL, TAKE A STANCE FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE
 
2012-07-18 01:40:06 PM  
I was hoping an actual dog would be sitting by the front door. That would be interesting.
 
2012-07-18 01:46:26 PM  
I'm no fan of Pitbull but, in all honesty, I actually gained some respect for the guy in his response to this.
 
2012-07-18 01:47:20 PM  

thomps: WHICH IS IT PITBULL, TAKE A STANCE FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE


We could use him to force others to take a stance. Arrange a private Pitbull concert for the Syrian Government, and Assad will immediately step down. Arrange another for a few days later for the Turkish government, and w/in five minutes and out of sheer spite, they'd officially recognize the Armenian Genocide once and for all.

He could be our secret weapon for good.
 
2012-07-18 01:48:15 PM  

Yanks_RSJ: The internet only truly wins if he's eaten by a bear while he's up there.

Seriously, fark Pitbull and anybody who enjoys his "music".


So much this! Just when I think pop culture, specifically music, can't get much worse, some goof like this comes along.
 
2012-07-18 01:48:41 PM  
Didn't we fail miserably trying to send the Jersey Shore cast to some place like the Congo?
 
2012-07-18 01:49:16 PM  
Take that, Pitbul
c0170361.cdn.cloudfiles.rackspacecloud.com
 
2012-07-18 01:50:17 PM  

FreakinB: I'm no fan of Pitbull but, in all honesty, I actually gained some respect for the guy in his response to this.


Yeah, unlike people in this thread he seems like a good sport.
 
2012-07-18 01:52:37 PM  
Okay....I was expecting a trained dog working as a greeter.


WTF is a Pitbull and why should I care?
 
2012-07-18 01:53:33 PM  

marsgwar: FreakinB: I'm no fan of Pitbull but, in all honesty, I actually gained some respect for the guy in his response to this.

Yeah, unlike people in this thread he seems like a good sport.


He should be a good sport, he's managed to turn zero musical ability into a lucrative career performing for imbeciles - doing nothing more than taking other people's music and randomly saying words (or just making noise) over it.
 
2012-07-18 01:54:35 PM  
Who wins in a fight between Pitbull and a pack of hungry polar bears?



We all do.
 
2012-07-18 01:58:00 PM  

thomps: am i cynical to think that thorpe was approached by walmart to launch this campaign as viral marketing?


Not cynical at all, that was my first thought as well.

Or maybe we're both cynical. Whatever
 
2012-07-18 02:05:23 PM  

Lee's_Austin: Didn't we fail miserably trying to send the Jersey Shore cast to some place like the Congo?


Actually we cast more votes in that poll than there are people on this planet. MTV didn't seem to honor it though.
 
2012-07-18 02:05:58 PM  
I would like to send Natalie Portman to Thunder Bay, Ontario.
 
2012-07-18 02:06:39 PM  
I would like to send Phoebe Tonkin to Texarkana, Texas.
 
2012-07-18 02:07:52 PM  
I would like to send Kristen Bell to Niihau, Hawaii.
 
2012-07-18 02:09:41 PM  
Wait, why is a pitbull being flown to Alaska?
 
2012-07-18 02:13:23 PM  
I would like to send Keeley Hazell to Lynnwood, WA.
 
2012-07-18 02:13:48 PM  

divx88: Wait, why is a pitbull being flown to Alaska?


To hunt polar bears
 
2012-07-18 02:14:35 PM  
CULO!
 
2012-07-18 02:14:54 PM  

The_Sponge: I would like to send Keeley Hazell to Lynnwood, WA.


I would like to send Kelly Brook to Pinetop, Arizona.
 
2012-07-18 02:15:11 PM  

thomps: Yanks_RSJ: The internet only truly wins if he's eaten by a bear while he's up there.

Seriously, fark Pitbull and anybody who enjoys his "music".

my only problem with him is that he seems to think that the american public is stupid enough to believe him when he endorses both dr. pepper and bud light as the preferred drink at his wild dance parties. WHICH IS IT PITBULL, TAKE A STANCE FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE


No, no, its the same drink. That's a blauuowghhabomb. Goes down like it sounds. All the bros are drinking it.
 
2012-07-18 02:20:08 PM  

MattyFridays: Phoebe Tonkin


Ah, city of my birth. It's an okay place to be from, but I wouldn't want to live there.
 
2012-07-18 02:41:00 PM  

Yanks_RSJ: Seriously, fark Pitbull and anybody who enjoys his "music".


I take it you don't like it when girls dance at bars, eh?
 
2012-07-18 02:45:30 PM  

Killer Cars: thomps: WHICH IS IT PITBULL, TAKE A STANCE FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE

We could use him to force others to take a stance. Arrange a private Pitbull concert for the Syrian Government, and Assad will immediately step down. Arrange another for a few days later for the Turkish government, and w/in five minutes and out of sheer spite, they'd officially recognize the Armenian Genocide
Not to thread jack but let it go it's been nearly hundred years. Chaos as an ancient regime was falling.

 
2012-07-18 02:53:20 PM  

Lollipop165: Yanks_RSJ: Seriously, fark Pitbull and anybody who enjoys his "music".

I take it you don't like it when girls dance at bars, eh?


Yeah, nobody would ever dance if not for Pitbull's contribution to music.

And the odds of me being at a bar where they're playing Pitbull are pretty slim. I saw his pathetic act at a party the night before the Super Bowl in Dallas two years ago - he's got zero talent.
 
2012-07-18 02:53:52 PM  
he seems to think one person is responsible for the prank.
 
2012-07-18 02:55:02 PM  
Who?
 
2012-07-18 02:56:06 PM  

Ashtrey: Lee's_Austin: Didn't we fail miserably trying to send the Jersey Shore cast to some place like the Congo?

Actually we cast more votes in that poll than there are people on this planet. MTV didn't seem to honor it though.


Do you remember where we tried to send them?
 
2012-07-18 02:57:10 PM  

nburghmatt: he seems to think one person is responsible for the prank.


Well, RTFA. One person came up with the idea, everyone else voted for it.
 
2012-07-18 03:00:53 PM  

MattyFridays: nburghmatt: he seems to think one person is responsible for the prank.

Well, RTFA. One person came up with the idea, everyone else voted for it.


fairy nuff
 
2012-07-18 03:09:38 PM  

Lee's_Austin: Ashtrey: Lee's_Austin: Didn't we fail miserably trying to send the Jersey Shore cast to some place like the Congo?

Actually we cast more votes in that poll than there are people on this planet. MTV didn't seem to honor it though.

Do you remember where we tried to send them?


North Korea and Somalia were usually considered the best trolling options.
 
2012-07-18 03:11:54 PM  
I would like to send Scarlett Johansson to Pleasanton, CA
 
2012-07-18 03:16:12 PM  
Hate all you want, he really don't give a number twooooo.
 
2012-07-18 03:28:00 PM  
what does he say in the first 8 seconds of this video?

i swear i listened to it 6 times and i can't make it out.
 
2012-07-18 03:45:49 PM  
Huh, I thought Palin hit rock bottom.
 
2012-07-18 03:57:20 PM  
I would like to send your mom to my lap. Also, kodiak is a hellhole.
 
2012-07-18 04:02:59 PM  

CarnySaur: Hate all you want, he really don't give a number twooooo.


Agreed. Pitbull cares naught for Farkers who have a willful ignorance/ignorant hate for all pop stars (except for the large breasted ones) of any kind.
 
2012-07-18 04:04:39 PM  

LewDux: Take that, Pitbul
[c0170361.cdn.cloudfiles.rackspacecloud.com image 658x514]


My thoughts exactly.... Let's send him to one of the most beautiful summer locations in the US and pay him to do it.

Everyone wins here as well. Wal-Mart gets a social media campaign to go viral, Stripes Energy gets their name out there, Pitbull is seen as a class act in the whole thing, Haters THINK they are exiling him and Kodiak gets something to do for a weekend and a bump in its profile.

I feel good about it
//Just white knighted Walmart and Pitbull.
///time to drink all that away
 
2012-07-18 04:22:21 PM  
It doesn't matter if he's in Kodiak or wherever. He'll fly in, they'll treat him like a king, he'll perform to an enthusiastic audience, he'll fly out and get paid handsomely for his efforts. Doesn't sound like a bad gig at all.
 
2012-07-18 04:44:02 PM  

Weidbrewer: Okay....I was expecting a trained dog working as a greeter.


WTF is a Pitbull and why should I care?



Me, too. I was very much hoping for an actual dog as a walmart greeter. I would prefer a dog as a greeter at the Walmart I shop, as well. At least a dog would act happy to see me.
 
2012-07-18 04:50:42 PM  
He's seems cool enough. Plus free trip to Alaska. Go shake some hands, have free PR, go to the local bar and drink and play pool. Whatever, you know?

Sounds fun.
 
2012-07-18 04:52:41 PM  
Does he play the reggaeton? Or is that Diddly Yankee?
 
2012-07-18 05:08:05 PM  

BurnShrike: Let's hope he doesn't swear in his music, like most rappers. Walmart will have to censor him.

/never buy rap or hip hop music, period. at Walmart


FTFY
 
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