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(The Duffel Blog)   "F*ck it I can't read sh*t like this anymore. Listen up you little bald bastards"   (duffelblog.com) divider line 112
    More: Satire, Sand Hill Road, Fort Benning, MREs, drill sergeants, generals, AIT, graduation, riots  
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16439 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jul 2012 at 9:39 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-18 12:19:05 AM  
"You'll most likely spend your deployment sitting on a FOB, manning guard towers, or waiting to go on patrols that get cancelled. I have a reality check for you all. Not everyone in this room is a hero. I don't give a sh*t what the beer commercials say."

I kind of agree with this. But then again, "They also serve who only stand and wait."

/I never served, but plenty of my family and friends have, some more honorably than others. I still think they deserve credit for volunteering, though.
 
2012-07-18 12:31:24 AM  
Is that real? This can't be real.
 
2012-07-18 12:34:28 AM  

violentsalvation: Is that real? This can't be real.


I'm going to guess 'no'

/I think there'd be just a teensy bit more of an uproar if it were
//and 92,000 headline submissions on it
 
2012-07-18 12:36:00 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: violentsalvation: Is that real? This can't be real.

I'm going to guess 'no'

/I think there'd be just a teensy bit more of an uproar if it were
//and 92,000 headline submissions on it


Yeah this is definitely a satire site. I don't know how this is the first time I stumbled upon it.
 
2012-07-18 12:37:29 AM  

violentsalvation: Is that real? This can't be real.


Hahahahha, I was thinking the same thing as I was reading it and then I thought, "Oh, yeah...satire site."
 
2012-07-18 12:39:07 AM  

violentsalvation: Is that real? This can't be real.


It's not real, but it is true. I don't know why Fark even has a Satire tag. No one ever uses it, and if they did it would ruin the joke.
 
2012-07-18 12:41:11 AM  

violentsalvation: Is that real? This can't be real.


I kind of got that vibe about halfway into the article too.

But goddammit, someone had to say it!
 
2012-07-18 12:47:15 AM  

Happy Hours: violentsalvation: Is that real? This can't be real.

I kind of got that vibe about halfway into the article too.

But goddammit, someone had to say it!


From the "About Us" page:

The Duffel Blog serves the men and women of the US Military with a daily dose of military humor, funny military pictures, and faux news. We take an interesting and funny look at military life. We focus on veterans, military stories, defense, politics (sometimes) and life on base - with a comedic twist. We are in no way, shape, or form, a real news outlet. Just about everything on this website is satirical in nature.

But yeah, someone had to say it.
 
2012-07-18 12:47:46 AM  
The silence after his speech was soon broken by wild applause from the assembled Drill Sergeants and Officers responsible for training the young soldiers over the previous ten weeks.

I'm visualizing my cadre doing this exact thing and it brings a smile to my face.
 
2012-07-18 12:51:57 AM  

violentsalvation: Is that real? This can't be real.


From their "About Us" page:


The Duffel Blog serves the men and women of the US Military with a daily dose of military humor, funny military pictures, and faux news. We take an interesting and funny look at military life. We focus on veterans, military stories, defense, politics (sometimes) and life on base - with a comedic twist. We are in no way, shape, or form, a real news outlet. Just about everything on this website is satirical in nature.
 
2012-07-18 12:55:28 AM  

Bathia_Mapes: violentsalvation: Is that real? This can't be real.

From their "About Us" page:


The Duffel Blog serves the men and women of the US Military with a daily dose of military humor, funny military pictures, and faux news. We take an interesting and funny look at military life. We focus on veterans, military stories, defense, politics (sometimes) and life on base - with a comedic twist. We are in no way, shape, or form, a real news outlet. Just about everything on this website is satirical in nature.


Is there an echo in here?
 
2012-07-18 01:03:04 AM  

violentsalvation: Is that real? This can't be real.


You would be shocked how many people in the comments thread on the site were convinced of it. It's The Onion all over again.
 
2012-07-18 01:16:26 AM  
img820.imageshack.us

I wonder if this General Robert Brown (if that's even his real name) has any idea his image is being associated with a satirical rant that will probably be taken as legitimate by some gullible people out there....
 
2012-07-18 01:17:00 AM  

Rincewind53: violentsalvation: Is that real? This can't be real.

You would be shocked how many people in the comments thread on the site were convinced of it. It's The Onion all over again.


That was partially why I was half convinced, the other part was that Major General Robert Brown is a real person, If I googled correctly. But the other articles were not nearly as convincing. "Vietnam Veterans Outraged Over Navy Christening Of USS Jane Fonda"
 
2012-07-18 01:19:31 AM  

violentsalvation: That was partially why I was half convinced, the other part was that Major General Robert Brown is a real person, If I googled correctly. But the other articles were not nearly as convincing. "Vietnam Veterans Outraged Over Navy Christening Of USS Jane Fonda"


If it hadn't been for the whole "11 soldiers killed", it would have been even more convincing. I think they threw that in because it was otherwise entirely too believable.
 
2012-07-18 01:23:00 AM  
http://onlyhdwallpapers.com/wallpaper/facepalm_desktop_800x900_hd-wall paper-464521.jpg
 
2012-07-18 01:23:04 AM  
img1.fark.net
 
2012-07-18 01:23:33 AM  
You people make me have a sad. Yes, dumb people will be fooled by it, as are they on how renting furniture and electronics are a good idea. Shockingly, you'll find those places outside the gate of every military installation.

It's brilliant because it's what anyone (wish a brain) who has ever sat in on that lame-ass ceremony wants to hear.
 
2012-07-18 01:23:40 AM  
onlyhdwallpapers.com

//farking glitchy farkin Fark
 
2012-07-18 01:24:09 AM  

NewportBarGuy: (wish a brain)


Yeah, wish I had one too.
 
2012-07-18 01:26:44 AM  

NewportBarGuy: It's brilliant because it's what anyone (wish a brain) who has ever sat in on that lame-ass ceremony wants to hear.


www.thecomingdepression.net

Knows the feeling.
 
2012-07-18 01:35:21 AM  
so, this is real then? holy shiat! it's really hard to believe!
 
2012-07-18 02:33:47 AM  

ox45tallboy: violentsalvation: That was partially why I was half convinced, the other part was that Major General Robert Brown is a real person, If I googled correctly. But the other articles were not nearly as convincing. "Vietnam Veterans Outraged Over Navy Christening Of USS Jane Fonda"

If it hadn't been for the whole "11 soldiers killed", it would have been even more convincing. I think they threw that in because it was otherwise entirely too believable.


Yeah, I didn't even get that far before I was googling around, reading comments and posted my boobs.
 
2012-07-18 02:51:53 AM  
Making jokes about soldiers getting killed. Stay classy, terrible parody site.
 
2012-07-18 03:34:43 AM  

miss diminutive: [img820.imageshack.us image 643x458]

I wonder if this General Robert Brown (if that's even his real name) has any idea his image is being associated with a satirical rant that will probably be taken as legitimate by some gullible people out there....


There is a real Lieutenant General (three-star) Robert Brown, who is the I Corps Commander at Joint Base Lewis-McChord in Washington State. He was formerly the post commander (two-star) at Fort Benning,GA which has the U.S. Army's basic training for new infantry soldiers, which would explain the Drill Sergeants (the guys in the Smokey The Bear hats) in the background.

This was the only picture I could find of him:

www2.wrbl.com

It doesn't really look like him, but his biography mentions a tour with the 25th Infantry Division, which is the "Electric Strawberry" combat patch your guy is wearing..
 
2012-07-18 05:26:54 AM  
Real or not I enjoyed it.
 
2012-07-18 05:36:37 AM  

Sgt Otter: It doesn't really look like him,


Well, they have the same haircut....
 
2012-07-18 07:46:50 AM  

miss diminutive: Sgt Otter: It doesn't really look like him,

Well, they have the same haircut....


And they have the same fashion sense...
 
2012-07-18 08:20:14 AM  
www.infiniteunknown.net
 
2012-07-18 08:20:38 AM  
Satire, huh?

*reads*

I guess it's funny if you're a grunt. Sailors have a more sophisticated sense of humor.

...

*gigglesnort*
 
2012-07-18 08:31:10 AM  
That was damn funny.

/sending the story off to my buddy who, when he came back state side after two tours in vietnam, became a drill sargent.
 
2012-07-18 08:36:13 AM  
I guess you need to be some kind of meathead to find that amusing.
 
2012-07-18 08:38:07 AM  

ox45tallboy: If it hadn't been for the whole "11 soldiers killed", it would have been even more convincing. I think they threw that in because it was otherwise entirely too believable.


Yeah, that's definitely the "tell".
 
2012-07-18 08:51:55 AM  

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: ox45tallboy: If it hadn't been for the whole "11 soldiers killed", it would have been even more convincing. I think they threw that in because it was otherwise entirely too believable.

Yeah, that's definitely the "tell".


That and the mods changed my "Hero" tag...
 
2012-07-18 09:24:40 AM  

violentsalvation: Is that real? This can't be real.


Had me right up to "Drill Sergeants were forced to kill 11 Privates in self-defense". I'm feeling gullible today.

Looks like a good site. Thanks subby.
 
2012-07-18 09:46:53 AM  
I can't read sh*t like this anymore.

If only they made the font bigger...
 
2012-07-18 09:48:39 AM  
I was THERE!!! It Totally HAPPENED!!!!

/how many of you went to Snopes??
//I still LOL'd...I WISH someone would do this.
/// cept the killing privates....
 
2012-07-18 09:50:54 AM  
The Onion meets Stars and Stripes.
 
2012-07-18 09:51:54 AM  
Came here to post a pic of George C. Scott. basemetal beat me to it.
 
2012-07-18 09:52:23 AM  

violentsalvation: Is that real? This can't be real.


It isn't real; it's satire. But what "the general" says is the truth.
 
2012-07-18 09:52:52 AM  
The about the author is priceless:


About The Author: ArmyJ

Armyj is a knuckle dragging infantryman who finds time to write when he's not pretending to fight a war with the Afghan National Army. He likes clam flavored ice-cream and seal clubbing during the off season. He can be reached via carrier pigeon or a strategically placed signal fire. Check out his book "Another Day in Paradise" on Amazon.
 
2012-07-18 09:53:18 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: violentsalvation: Is that real? This can't be real.

I'm going to guess 'no'

/I think there'd be just a teensy bit more of an uproar if it were
//and 92,000 headline submissions on it


Definitely satire (I seriously think the major news outlets would be all over something where 11 recruits were killed). Funny as fark, and true as well though. I wish that actually HAD happened.

Someone needs to say something very similar to the wives of the navy pilots that come into my wife's Cafe (no that's not a euphemism)


USN Vet.
 
2012-07-18 09:55:24 AM  

xanadian: I guess it's funny if you're a grunt. Sailors have a more sophisticated sense of humor.


Gay people often do.

/NTTAWWT.
 
2012-07-18 09:56:36 AM  

xanadian: Satire, huh?

*reads*

I guess it's funny if you're a grunt. Sailors have a more sophisticated sense of humor.

...

*gigglesnort*


I guess they develop their sophisticated sense of humor after getting desensitized to all the sea men and/or poop deck jokes.

/ used to work with a girl whose husband was in the navy
// she got tired of the sea men jokes, too
 
2012-07-18 09:57:22 AM  
Funny is hard, and often best left to the professionals at the Onion.
 
2012-07-18 09:57:51 AM  
Check out the Starcraft article in the "related" list.

"In fact," [EGIdra] added, "The only thing they really seemed to understand about the game is that Marines are super overpowered, and that winning only requires that you have more of them. They said it was a very realistic feature."
 
2012-07-18 09:58:37 AM  
do you guys not even look at the tags?
 
2012-07-18 09:58:41 AM  

jmadisonbiii: The Onion meets Stars and Stripes.


Exactly!!!!

Seriously we had something like this happen at Karena AB.
We had a one star general who was base commander. They had to repeatedly warn the newbies that if you saw a falling apart, shiatbox green 1976 Pinto driving around the base with a star flag on it, you BETTER damn well salute it. He was former enlisted and was *extremely* down to earth.

When he came to give awards to our squadron, we were joking about how he was going to parachute in to the formation. In his own idiom (very Pythonesque) he rolled up in his Pinto, jumped out and then went up to the podium and went through the formalities.
After the standard garbage, he turned and said to the gathered dignitaries and all of us and said directly in to the mic....." Well now that we have all that crap out of the way, I hope you'll excuse me, I'm going to go over here and bullshiat with the troops for a while..." (We all stood there with our mouths agape..)

BEST BASE COMMANDER EVAR!!!

Kadena AB Okinawa Japan 1984-1986
 
2012-07-18 09:59:14 AM  

Neondistraction: // she got tired of the sea men jokes, too


hehe, semen
 
2012-07-18 10:00:49 AM  
To be perfectly honest, I thought it was completely real up until the point where the Drill Sergeants had to kill 11 Privates.

And I was about to post it Face book with the title "Finally someone in the Army tells the truth to new recruits"
 
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