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(Chron)   There is a six-foot lizard loose in Colorado. Mothra goes to DEFCON 1   (chron.com) divider line 45
    More: Scary, Colorado  
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7395 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jul 2012 at 1:20 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-18 10:29:29 AM
Raging fires then giant lizards. I think I'm staying away from the Colorado Springs area, at least until they figure out which god they've angered and appease it.
 
2012-07-18 11:37:06 AM
i262.photobucket.com

"Here leezard leezard leezard!"
 
2012-07-18 01:23:12 PM
What a six-foot lizard may look like:

rookery.s3.amazonaws.com
 
2012-07-18 01:26:26 PM
Oops, I forgot to check my zipper
 
2012-07-18 01:32:04 PM
Next up: Raining toads from the sky, Dogs and cats living together peacefully, and sightings of Yeti in the lower foothills of the Rockies.

Must be altitude sickness up here... no wonder I still call it Colowierdo.
 
2012-07-18 01:37:51 PM
Wow, hope those folks are insured.
www.infinitydish.com
 
2012-07-18 01:38:27 PM
Ship his ass to El Salvador.
 
2012-07-18 01:42:41 PM
Looks like a job for the Amazing Spider Man
 
2012-07-18 01:43:37 PM
Leave me be!
 
2012-07-18 01:46:49 PM
I was really hoping that people were freaking out about an escaped pet iguana. Oh well...
 
2012-07-18 01:48:51 PM
Someone better tell the Dead Milkmen
 
2012-07-18 01:50:41 PM
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2012-07-18 01:51:02 PM
note from florida: that lizard will croak at the first cold snap.
 
2012-07-18 01:51:28 PM
Better than a Tegu. Those babies are mean, twice fast and eat anything that's not bolted down.
 
2012-07-18 01:58:07 PM
The Curse of Traded Tebow strikes again...
 
2012-07-18 02:00:14 PM
There is nothing to see here, folks. You are all perfectly safe. There is no reptile roaming around at all.

/It's not a nile monitor, it's denial monitor.
 
2012-07-18 02:04:28 PM
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-07-18 02:17:06 PM
6 Feet? That's 10 times us!

www.millionmonkeytheater.com
 
2012-07-18 02:28:59 PM
This is what those reading comprehension tests were for back in elementary school. You have to imply from the mention "about 400 homes in the Woodland Park area were warned" that the monitor lizard escaped from a zoo, using cultural cues that a park might be a zoological park, and the fact that otherwise there is no mention whatsoever of the lizard's origin or ownership in the stupid article.

Anyway, it'll freeze to death itself when winter rolls around, no gorillas needed
 
2012-07-18 02:35:42 PM
www.hollywoodmemorabilia.com

There he is, your Komodo dragon
 
2012-07-18 02:36:07 PM
6 foot lizard? That's a basilisk.
 
2012-07-18 02:44:00 PM
Sybarite: Raging fires then giant lizards. I think I'm staying away from the Colorado Springs area, at least until they figure out which god they've angered and appease it.

I LOLed
 
2012-07-18 02:44:07 PM
What a six-foot monitor may look like
img17.imageshack.us
With bonus pretty girl
 
2012-07-18 03:14:10 PM
images.wikia.com
Also a 6 foot long lizard
 
2012-07-18 03:14:39 PM

Gunderson: Someone better tell the Dead Milkmen


I was knocked outta bed
Late last night
I was woken up by the sound of dynamite
I ran downstairs to find an army man
He said "We gotta blow up those things we don't understand!"
 
2012-07-18 03:32:58 PM
Don't forget. First the little tiny women have to sing then Mothra goes to Defcon 2. They're defcon 1
 
2012-07-18 03:33:10 PM
4.bp.blogspot.com

Florida laughs at your so-called "giant lizard."
 
2012-07-18 03:35:59 PM
A 6 foot long lizard hads like a what 2 1/2 foot long torso.

So its basically like a scaly golden retreiver.
 
2012-07-18 04:07:13 PM

fappomatic: Better than a Tegu. Those babies are mean, twice fast and eat anything that's not bolted down.


I love my Columbian Tegu. Fast and smart as hell.
 
2012-07-18 04:09:56 PM
FTFA:
"This kiddo could hurt someone if they don't know how to restrain it," Bundy said.

"Restrain it"??? The only restraining anybody should do is making sure they don't miss & use as few rounds as possible,ammo's expensive these days.
 
2012-07-18 04:14:27 PM
Heh. This is actually my neighborhood. Every time I drive by a freaking log, I do a double take.

When I got the first reverse 911 call, which was a computerized voice, I thought it said "six foot black leopard". I was shiatting twinkies until the second call came.


/About 10 years ago, my next-door neighbor woke up to three buffalo standing in his front yard. The dispatcher didn't believe him, and told him he was probably confused and looking at alpacas. "M'aam, these aren't no farking alpacas!" Turned out they'd escaped from a ranch about 50 miles away.
 
2012-07-18 04:20:04 PM

SwiftFox: This is what those reading comprehension tests were for back in elementary school. You have to imply from the mention "about 400 homes in the Woodland Park area were warned" that the monitor lizard escaped from a zoo, using cultural cues that a park might be a zoological park, and the fact that otherwise there is no mention whatsoever of the lizard's origin or ownership in the stupid article.

Anyway, it'll freeze to death itself when winter rolls around, no gorillas needed


It was some guy's personal pet that chewed through its leash. I don't know the set-up---did he keep it tied up outside? Anyhoodie, the nights can be cold up here at 9000 feet, even in the summer, so it might not make it until winter.

We also have a pair of mountain lions here in this development. Maybe they'll find it first.
 
2012-07-18 04:21:41 PM

Attila the Mom:
We also have a pair of mountain lions here in this development. Maybe they'll find it first.


And then they will breed, creating lizard pumas.
 
2012-07-18 04:24:41 PM
I can't help but think they might be overestimating the takedown power of this monitor lizard. If anything, it will probably be hunting squirrels and going through garbage.
 
2012-07-18 05:11:11 PM
Update: the lizard, whose name is Joseph P Clayton, was captured and put back in his cage in the DTC.
 
2012-07-18 05:13:20 PM

clovis69: fappomatic: Better than a Tegu. Those babies are mean, twice fast and eat anything that's not bolted down.

I love my Columbian Tegu. Fast and smart as hell.


Indeed they are both fast and smart. Mine drools when it sees the cat.
 
2012-07-18 06:50:28 PM
Link

Get the BBQ sauce ready.
 
2012-07-18 06:58:04 PM

Hobodeluxe: Looks like a job for the Amazing Spider Man


Was gonna say, I just saw that movie last night....
 
2012-07-18 08:18:30 PM
Mr. Sharon Stone goes into hiding.

/Phil Bronstein
 
2012-07-18 08:31:33 PM
Dr. Peter Venkman: This city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions.
Mayor: What do you mean, "biblical"?
Dr Ray Stantz: What he means is Old Testament, Mr. Mayor, real wrath of God type stuff.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Exactly.
Dr Ray Stantz: Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling!
Dr. Egon Spengler: Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes...
Winston Zeddemore: The dead rising from the grave!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!
Mayor: All right, all right! I get the point!

....forgot six-foot lizards.
 
2012-07-18 10:38:45 PM
This is nature's revenge for the Focus on the Family & the New Life Church. I'm convinced of this.
 
2012-07-18 11:18:57 PM
If someone finds it and brings it to the museum 4 miles east, we might know what to do with it.

/beetle colony
 
2012-07-19 03:07:28 PM
Someone has to point out that it's much more likely he's going to DEFCON 20 which starts pretty soon.
 
2012-07-21 10:10:24 AM
I don't know if anyone is still reading this thread, but I wanted to announce that the lizard showed up at its owner's home. No word on missing pets in the neighborhood. ;-)
 
2012-07-21 12:13:20 PM
> "I'm not going after it," Ensinger said. "I don't do reptiles."

Smartest horror movie sheriff evaaaaaaar!
 
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