FARK.com: (7217152) David Hasselhoff wants to celebrate his 60th birthday by staying in bed and hoffing his girlfriend 60 times in one day

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		David Hasselhoff wants to celebrate his 60th birthday by staying in bed and hoffing his girlfriend 60 times in one day (couriermail.com.au)		45
		More: Unlikely, David Hasselhoff, Hoff, Britain's Got Talent, Ralph Lauren, bedrooms

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3479 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 17 Jul 2012 at 2:34 PM | Favorite | share:

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brap		2012-07-17 11:13:13 AM

*urp* Thanks for the visual and congratulations *urp* Mr. Hasslehoff I got *urp* you a BLARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGFFFFFFFFF!!!!!

*head spits around like an Exoricist/sprinklerhead combo platter*

Lsherm		2012-07-17 11:32:53 AM

"I feel like I'm 40. My legs are the only thing, I'm having a hard time running," he said. 'The best thing about 60 is that I'm 60, I'm no longer 59. My dad's 87 and he's still going. We have a good constitution and I do a lot of harm to it. I do a lot of drinking, healthy drinking but I'm pretty healthy."

This farker is still drinking?

Demetrius		2012-07-17 12:34:12 PM

Baby, please! He is NOT from Havana!

Lando Lincoln		2012-07-17 02:02:08 PM

60 times in one day? Dang. That dude better be a one-pump chump or his wang is going to fall off.

Mugato		2012-07-17 02:16:39 PM

This guy's liver is so shriveled up and black and dead if you put your ear to it you can hear "What you talkin' about, Willis?".

LandOfChocolate		2012-07-17 02:44:33 PM

Mugato: This guy's liver is so shriveled up and black and dead if you put your ear to it you can hear "What you talkin' about, Willis?".

images.sodahead.com

RivenSilver		2012-07-17 02:44:58 PM

I'd be happy to step in when he runs out of steam.

Moonraper		2012-07-17 02:45:53 PM

I'm 35 and I can barely manage twice in one night.

LeroyBourne		2012-07-17 02:46:15 PM

My god, loop the theme song to baywatch during the entire act and you've got hell on earth right there.

Rapmaster2000		2012-07-17 02:48:52 PM

LeroyBourne: My god, loop the theme song to baywatch during the entire act and you've got hell on earth right there.

Hoff thrusting in slow-motion to the music. Sex montage!

Apos		2012-07-17 02:54:35 PM

This tale of bravado,,birthdays and banality is sponsored by Viagara^TM,Cialis^TM and Enzyte^TM.

Barry McCackiner		2012-07-17 02:59:15 PM

60 times is a bit ridiculous, but I have always kind of wanted to do the all day marathon. Although it is probably one of those things that seems like a better idea in theory. I know that after an especially long session with Mrs. McCackiner I'm good for a day or two.

LeroyBourne		2012-07-17 03:02:36 PM

Rapmaster2000: LeroyBourne: My god, loop the theme song to baywatch during the entire act and you've got hell on earth right there.

Hoff thrusting in slow-motion to the music. Sex montage!

This is what he puts on in between sessions to slowly walk to the bathroom, or kitchen to chug gatoraide.
Link

ColSanders		2012-07-17 03:09:01 PM

I'd be thrilled with 60 times in one year.

/married

PYROY		2012-07-17 03:12:12 PM

At least he has the foresight to take full advantage of her for the short time she'll be around.

Spifferiferfied		2012-07-17 03:13:14 PM

Typical rich guy trying to take a whole day to do an hours work.

Atomic Spunk		2012-07-17 03:20:10 PM

I wonder what the golddigger thinks about this idea? Most likely "EEWWWW!"

That said, he doesn't look half bad for a 60 year old man who had/has an alcohol problem.

MrPleasant		2012-07-17 03:21:23 PM

Just try to watch this 60 times...

// so sorry

www.gifcrap.com

LectertheChef		2012-07-17 03:25:28 PM

Wait, I thought Luanne taught him that he was more than just a big cock.

redmid17		2012-07-17 03:45:54 PM

My max ever has been 6 times in a 24 hour period and I thought I was going to break my dick the last round.

Duck_of_Doom		2012-07-17 03:47:36 PM

Rapmaster2000: LeroyBourne: My god, loop the theme song to baywatch during the entire act and you've got hell on earth right there.

Hoff thrusting in slow-motion to the music. Sex montage!

I hate you and everything you stand for.

Off to claw my brains out.

ltdanman44		2012-07-17 04:03:15 PM

MrPleasant: Just try to watch this 60 times...

// so sorry

[www.gifcrap.com image 220x340]

I hate you

HotIgneous Intruder		2012-07-17 04:14:51 PM

Priaprism, don't hassle the Hoff.

vrax		2012-07-17 04:15:49 PM

If she was smart, and they were married, she would literally fark him to death for his 60th.

HarrisonBergeron		2012-07-17 04:17:51 PM

Don't you mean "Hasseling"?

Nana's Vibrator		2012-07-17 04:25:34 PM

HarrisonBergeron: Don't you mean "Hasseling"?

I believe the term is "smurfing"
smurfing
His wife is Brainy Smurf. And that one with the pencil behind his ear.

palelizard		2012-07-17 04:59:04 PM

Barry McCackiner: 60 times is a bit ridiculous, but I have always kind of wanted to do the all day marathon. Although it is probably one of those things that seems like a better idea in theory. I know that after an especially long session with Mrs. McCackiner I'm good for a day or two.

It really takes a lot of effort for an all-dayer. And sex shouldn't feel like work.

You're better off, if you've got the time, to space things out. Morning-schtup, nap a bit, go get some brunch, maybe with a mimosa or something--calorie up but not too filling, lunch-schtup, cat-nap, maybe go take in a movie, walk along the beach, pre-dinner sex, go out for a romantic dinner, then retire for the night with one last encounter. You get some recovery time between each go-round, and you're less likely to be bored by noon. Otherwise it's like trying to sleep all day. It can be done, but you've really got to try.

NorCalLos		2012-07-17 05:23:07 PM

Mugato: This guy's liver is so shriveled up and black and dead if you put your ear to it you can hear "What you talkin' about, Willis?".

You will be haunted by Zombie Greg Giraldo (or was it that annoying fat guy that won't stop whining "TOO SOON!?!!!"

Swoop1809		2012-07-17 06:28:13 PM

The mind is willing, but the body is spongy and bruised

/doesn't matter, had snu-snu

petuniapup		2012-07-17 07:03:02 PM

I love this thread...somewhere between a picture of the Hoff with a cheeseburger and a picture of a kitten hugging yarn.

AdolfOliverPanties		2012-07-17 08:22:50 PM

In/Out repeated 30 times does not equal doing it 60 times.

TheMexicansLoveMe		2012-07-17 08:27:17 PM

Barry McCackiner		2012-07-17 08:29:07 PM

palelizard: Barry McCackiner: 60 times is a bit ridiculous, but I have always kind of wanted to do the all day marathon. Although it is probably one of those things that seems like a better idea in theory. I know that after an especially long session with Mrs. McCackiner I'm good for a day or two.

It really takes a lot of effort for an all-dayer. And sex shouldn't feel like work.

You're better off, if you've got the time, to space things out. Morning-schtup, nap a bit, go get some brunch, maybe with a mimosa or something--calorie up but not too filling, lunch-schtup, cat-nap, maybe go take in a movie, walk along the beach, pre-dinner sex, go out for a romantic dinner, then retire for the night with one last encounter. You get some recovery time between each go-round, and you're less likely to be bored by noon. Otherwise it's like trying to sleep all day. It can be done, but you've really got to try.

I'm going to plan this for my next milestone birthday!

Old Man Winter		2012-07-17 08:35:20 PM

The Hoffty Dance is your chance to do the Hoff
Do the Hoftty Hoff, come on and do the Hoftty Hoff

Sefton		2012-07-17 08:43:54 PM

Moonraper: I'm 35 and I can barely manage twice in one night.

Lightweight. I'm 50 and will wear out anything that dares go there. Satisfaction guaranteed. Some things you learn with age. The trick is staying in good enough shape to use it. I salute you, Hoff!

T-Boy		2012-07-17 09:08:26 PM

I just saw the pic of the girlfriend. While I've never run 40 or even 50 times in a day, I'd sure give her a try.

PsychoLaurie		2012-07-17 09:17:31 PM

Her hoohah is gonna be so choffed by the end of the day ...

/talk about getting ridden hard and put away wet

Alphax		2012-07-17 09:51:08 PM

Mugato: This guy's liver is so shriveled up and black and dead if you put your ear to it you can hear "What you talkin' about, Willis?".

So wrong, and yet so right...

The_Time_Master		2012-07-17 11:03:38 PM

More like 60 strokes in one night...
or the other kind...

Quantum Apostrophe		2012-07-18 12:39:37 AM

I don't think you're supposed to count each stroke.

Gunderson		2012-07-18 01:21:20 AM

LeroyBourne: My god, loop ~~the theme song to baywatch~~ ThisHasselhoffClassic during the entire act and you've got hell on earth right there.

FTFY

petuniapup		2012-07-18 02:02:14 AM

LeroyBourne: ...
This is what he puts on in between sessions to slowly walk to the bathroom, or kitchen to chug gatoraide.
Link

Oh wow.
Never saw that show.
But...now I've seen this picture, and I can't un-see David Hasselhoff as the "Winning an argument on the internet is like..." kid.

static1.vidics.eu