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(Courier Mail)   David Hasselhoff wants to celebrate his 60th birthday by staying in bed and hoffing his girlfriend 60 times in one day   (couriermail.com.au) divider line 45
    More: Unlikely, David Hasselhoff, Hoff, Britain's Got Talent, Ralph Lauren, bedrooms  
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3505 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 17 Jul 2012 at 2:34 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



45 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-07-17 11:13:13 AM
*urp* Thanks for the visual and congratulations *urp* Mr. Hasslehoff I got *urp* you a BLARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGFFFFFFFFF!!!!!

*head spits around like an Exoricist/sprinklerhead combo platter*
 
2012-07-17 11:32:53 AM
"I feel like I'm 40. My legs are the only thing, I'm having a hard time running," he said. 'The best thing about 60 is that I'm 60, I'm no longer 59. My dad's 87 and he's still going. We have a good constitution and I do a lot of harm to it. I do a lot of drinking, healthy drinking but I'm pretty healthy."

This farker is still drinking?
 
2012-07-17 12:34:12 PM
Baby, please! He is NOT from Havana!
 
2012-07-17 02:02:08 PM
60 times in one day? Dang. That dude better be a one-pump chump or his wang is going to fall off.
 
2012-07-17 02:16:39 PM
This guy's liver is so shriveled up and black and dead if you put your ear to it you can hear "What you talkin' about, Willis?".
 
2012-07-17 02:44:33 PM

Mugato: This guy's liver is so shriveled up and black and dead if you put your ear to it you can hear "What you talkin' about, Willis?".


images.sodahead.com
 
2012-07-17 02:44:58 PM
I'd be happy to step in when he runs out of steam.
 
2012-07-17 02:45:53 PM
I'm 35 and I can barely manage twice in one night.
 
2012-07-17 02:46:15 PM
My god, loop the theme song to baywatch during the entire act and you've got hell on earth right there.
 
2012-07-17 02:48:52 PM

LeroyBourne: My god, loop the theme song to baywatch during the entire act and you've got hell on earth right there.


Hoff thrusting in slow-motion to the music. Sex montage!
 
2012-07-17 02:54:35 PM
This tale of bravado,,birthdays and banality is sponsored by ViagaraTM,CialisTM and EnzyteTM.
 
2012-07-17 02:59:15 PM
60 times is a bit ridiculous, but I have always kind of wanted to do the all day marathon. Although it is probably one of those things that seems like a better idea in theory. I know that after an especially long session with Mrs. McCackiner I'm good for a day or two.
 
2012-07-17 03:02:36 PM

Rapmaster2000: LeroyBourne: My god, loop the theme song to baywatch during the entire act and you've got hell on earth right there.

Hoff thrusting in slow-motion to the music. Sex montage!


This is what he puts on in between sessions to slowly walk to the bathroom, or kitchen to chug gatoraide.
Link
 
2012-07-17 03:09:01 PM
I'd be thrilled with 60 times in one year.

/married
 
2012-07-17 03:12:12 PM
At least he has the foresight to take full advantage of her for the short time she'll be around.
 
2012-07-17 03:13:14 PM
Typical rich guy trying to take a whole day to do an hours work.
 
2012-07-17 03:20:10 PM
I wonder what the golddigger thinks about this idea? Most likely "EEWWWW!"

That said, he doesn't look half bad for a 60 year old man who had/has an alcohol problem.
 
2012-07-17 03:21:23 PM
Just try to watch this 60 times...

// so sorry

www.gifcrap.com
 
2012-07-17 03:25:28 PM
Wait, I thought Luanne taught him that he was more than just a big cock.
 
2012-07-17 03:45:54 PM
My max ever has been 6 times in a 24 hour period and I thought I was going to break my dick the last round.
 
2012-07-17 03:47:36 PM

Rapmaster2000: LeroyBourne: My god, loop the theme song to baywatch during the entire act and you've got hell on earth right there.

Hoff thrusting in slow-motion to the music. Sex montage!


I hate you and everything you stand for.

Off to claw my brains out.
 
2012-07-17 04:03:15 PM

MrPleasant: Just try to watch this 60 times...

// so sorry

[www.gifcrap.com image 220x340]


I hate you
 
2012-07-17 04:14:51 PM
Priaprism, don't hassle the Hoff.
 
2012-07-17 04:15:49 PM
If she was smart, and they were married, she would literally fark him to death for his 60th.
 
2012-07-17 04:17:51 PM
Don't you mean "Hasseling"?
 
2012-07-17 04:25:34 PM

HarrisonBergeron: Don't you mean "Hasseling"?


I believe the term is "smurfing"
smurfing
His wife is Brainy Smurf. And that one with the pencil behind his ear.
 
2012-07-17 04:59:04 PM

Barry McCackiner: 60 times is a bit ridiculous, but I have always kind of wanted to do the all day marathon. Although it is probably one of those things that seems like a better idea in theory. I know that after an especially long session with Mrs. McCackiner I'm good for a day or two.


It really takes a lot of effort for an all-dayer. And sex shouldn't feel like work.

You're better off, if you've got the time, to space things out. Morning-schtup, nap a bit, go get some brunch, maybe with a mimosa or something--calorie up but not too filling, lunch-schtup, cat-nap, maybe go take in a movie, walk along the beach, pre-dinner sex, go out for a romantic dinner, then retire for the night with one last encounter. You get some recovery time between each go-round, and you're less likely to be bored by noon. Otherwise it's like trying to sleep all day. It can be done, but you've really got to try.
 
2012-07-17 05:23:07 PM

Mugato: This guy's liver is so shriveled up and black and dead if you put your ear to it you can hear "What you talkin' about, Willis?".


You will be haunted by Zombie Greg Giraldo (or was it that annoying fat guy that won't stop whining "TOO SOON!?!!!"
 
2012-07-17 06:28:13 PM
The mind is willing, but the body is spongy and bruised

/doesn't matter, had snu-snu
 
2012-07-17 07:03:02 PM
I love this thread...somewhere between a picture of the Hoff with a cheeseburger and a picture of a kitten hugging yarn.
 
2012-07-17 08:22:50 PM
In/Out repeated 30 times does not equal doing it 60 times.
 
2012-07-17 08:27:17 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2012-07-17 08:29:07 PM

palelizard: Barry McCackiner: 60 times is a bit ridiculous, but I have always kind of wanted to do the all day marathon. Although it is probably one of those things that seems like a better idea in theory. I know that after an especially long session with Mrs. McCackiner I'm good for a day or two.

It really takes a lot of effort for an all-dayer. And sex shouldn't feel like work.

You're better off, if you've got the time, to space things out. Morning-schtup, nap a bit, go get some brunch, maybe with a mimosa or something--calorie up but not too filling, lunch-schtup, cat-nap, maybe go take in a movie, walk along the beach, pre-dinner sex, go out for a romantic dinner, then retire for the night with one last encounter. You get some recovery time between each go-round, and you're less likely to be bored by noon. Otherwise it's like trying to sleep all day. It can be done, but you've really got to try.


I'm going to plan this for my next milestone birthday!
 
2012-07-17 08:35:20 PM
The Hoffty Dance is your chance to do the Hoff
Do the Hoftty Hoff, come on and do the Hoftty Hoff
 
2012-07-17 08:43:54 PM

Moonraper: I'm 35 and I can barely manage twice in one night.


Lightweight. I'm 50 and will wear out anything that dares go there. Satisfaction guaranteed. Some things you learn with age. The trick is staying in good enough shape to use it. I salute you, Hoff!
 
2012-07-17 09:08:26 PM
I just saw the pic of the girlfriend. While I've never run 40 or even 50 times in a day, I'd sure give her a try.
 
2012-07-17 09:17:31 PM
Her hoohah is gonna be so choffed by the end of the day ...

/talk about getting ridden hard and put away wet
 
2012-07-17 09:51:08 PM

Mugato: This guy's liver is so shriveled up and black and dead if you put your ear to it you can hear "What you talkin' about, Willis?".


So wrong, and yet so right...
 
2012-07-17 11:03:38 PM
More like 60 strokes in one night...
or the other kind...
 
2012-07-18 12:39:37 AM
I don't think you're supposed to count each stroke.
 
2012-07-18 01:21:20 AM

LeroyBourne: My god, loop the theme song to baywatch ThisHasselhoffClassic during the entire act and you've got hell on earth right there.


FTFY
 
2012-07-18 02:02:14 AM

LeroyBourne: ...
This is what he puts on in between sessions to slowly walk to the bathroom, or kitchen to chug gatoraide.
Link



Oh wow.
Never saw that show.
But...now I've seen this picture, and I can't un-see David Hasselhoff as the "Winning an argument on the internet is like..." kid.

static1.vidics.eu
 
2012-07-18 03:51:55 AM
i2.cdnds.net

not too shabby
 
2012-07-18 07:59:10 AM
60 times?
so.. hes staying in bed an extra hour then?
That's not a lot to ask for on your birthday.
 
2012-07-18 10:19:55 AM
I've noticed that Cumberland Farms has been using the Hoff's image (to promote coffee, I think). What kind of whiz kid made THAT decision????
 
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