FARK.com: (7216910) Really dude, if you flew all the way from Arizona to Tampa to have sex with wheelchair-bound, 14-year-old girl who bought your ticket with Grandma's credit card, the least you could do is shave

If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

		Really dude, if you flew all the way from Arizona to Tampa to have sex with wheelchair-bound, 14-year-old girl who bought your ticket with Grandma's credit card, the least you could do is shave (www2.tbo.com)		271
		More: Florida, Tampa, Tampa International Airport, airport police, credit cards, Hillsborough County, airline ticket

• • •

29870 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Jul 2012 at 6:40 AM | Favorite | share:

Share this link:

URL:

http://fark.com/go/7216910

Bookmark:

Article Comments close

271 Comments (+0 »)

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | » | Last | Show all

rocketpants		2012-07-17 08:51:10 AM

This story screams for the elusive Florizona tag.

reillan		2012-07-17 08:51:13 AM

bim1154: I just don't understand their thinking that they would have anything remotely to offer any woman, let alone some underage girl.

This is exactly why they do this in the first place... because they don't have anything to offer a woman, so no woman shows them more than morbid curiosity. Someone online comes along, doesn't matter what age, and says "I like you", and they're hooked, because it's the first time anyone has ever valued them. Yes, they take it to inappropriate places, but it's completely understandable they would - they're desperate and lonely.

I think the show should be called "To prey on pathetic losers"

Oblio13		2012-07-17 08:52:10 AM

Diogenes The Cynic:
Atheism may be a valid philosophical position, but science doesn't have the tools to deal with metaphysical truths.

I just rode a unicorn across a rainbow. Prove I didn't.

Funny how that works, isn't it?

Jon iz teh kewl		2012-07-17 08:52:51 AM

JWideman: JokerMattly: Uncle Tractor: Diogenes The Cynic: Atheism may be a valid philosophical position, but science doesn't have the tools to deal with metaphysical truths.

What "metaphysical truths?"

Science has no way of proving there is a God, any more than it has the tools to disprove the existance of a God. Even with a fundamental understanding of every basic truth of the Universe, we are still incapable of ruling out the existence of a higher power. The absence of evidence, is not evidence of absence; we may simply lack the proper tools to perceive what we wish to study.

You can't prove that invisible pink unicorns do not exist. You can't prove that they aren't very spiritual beings (and they must be, to be both pink and invisible). And you can't prove that they are not pink. You now have no choice but to acknowledge they do exist, and give them the worship they deserve.

and you've never seen Passion of the Christ yet?? watch that. and you might LEARN something

BronyMedic		2012-07-17 08:52:58 AM

Raharu: JWideman: You can't prove that invisible pink unicorns do not exist. You can't prove that they aren't very spiritual beings (and they must be, to be both pink and invisible). And you can't prove that they are not pink. You now have no choice but to acknowledge they do exist, and give them the worship they deserve.

HERETIC!!!

The Unicorn is PURPLE!

PURGE THE HERETIC!

[images.wikia.com image 850x612]

Goddamnit.

-sigh-

This is now a pony thread.

James F. Campbell		2012-07-17 08:53:10 AM

K3rmy: a early-teen, wheelchair bound gutter slut.

I feel sorry for the people who have to live with you.

Flakeloaf		2012-07-17 08:53:44 AM

JWideman: You can't prove that invisible pink unicorns do not exist. You can't prove that they aren't very spiritual beings (and they must be, to be both pink and invisible). And you can't prove that they are not pink.

Och! How do ye think I became the invisible six-armed unicorn bridge guy?

i.imgur.com

ChipNASA		2012-07-17 08:54:18 AM

BronyMedic: Raharu: JWideman: You can't prove that invisible pink unicorns do not exist. You can't prove that they aren't very spiritual beings (and they must be, to be both pink and invisible). And you can't prove that they are not pink. You now have no choice but to acknowledge they do exist, and give them the worship they deserve.

HERETIC!!!

The Unicorn is PURPLE!

PURGE THE HERETIC!

[images.wikia.com image 850x612]

Goddamnit.

-sigh-

This is now a pony thread.

images.bluegartr.com

doglover		2012-07-17 08:55:52 AM

Raharu: The Unicorn is PURPLE!

BronyMedic: Raharu: JWideman: You can't prove that invisible pink unicorns do not exist. You can't prove that they aren't very spiritual beings (and they must be, to be both pink and invisible). And you can't prove that they are not pink. You now have no choice but to acknowledge they do exist, and give them the worship they deserve.

HERETIC!!!

The Unicorn is PURPLE!

PURGE THE HERETIC!

[images.wikia.com image 850x612]

Goddamnit.

-sigh-

This is now a pony thread.

Never doubt my power again.

arch.413chan.net

ChipNASA		2012-07-17 08:56:13 AM

Losting		2012-07-17 08:56:22 AM

How many Vietnam vet's does it take to screw in a light bulb?....

3, one to hold the light bulb and 2 to spin the wheelchair.

untaken_name		2012-07-17 08:57:11 AM

Oblio13: Diogenes The Cynic:
Atheism may be a valid philosophical position, but science doesn't have the tools to deal with metaphysical truths.

I just rode a unicorn across a rainbow. Prove I didn't.

Funny how that works, isn't it?

I love you. Now, using only science, prove or disprove that statement.

/it has nothing to do with religion, and everything to do with the limitations of science.

degenerate-afro		2012-07-17 09:01:22 AM

Okay, that guy deserves to be locked up.

1. There are plenty of 18+ cripple chicks who would love to give it up for you if that's your fetish. Heck, there are even organizations that specialize in helping disabled people get dates. Just sign up for one of those.
2. If you wanted a younger one, sorry, but 18 is the age of consent in Florida and Arizona, the best you could do is target a 16 year old in Georgia, but even then I believe the consent requires parental permission.
3. Really, you had to ask her to buy the ticket?

Seriously, even female school teachers have enough sense to keep close to home with their affair.

HotIgneous Intruder		2012-07-17 09:02:43 AM

Jon iz teh kewl: JWideman: JokerMattly: Uncle Tractor: Diogenes The Cynic: Atheism may be a valid philosophical position, but science doesn't have the tools to deal with metaphysical truths.

What "metaphysical truths?"

Science has no way of proving there is a God, any more than it has the tools to disprove the existance of a God. Even with a fundamental understanding of every basic truth of the Universe, we are still incapable of ruling out the existence of a higher power. The absence of evidence, is not evidence of absence; we may simply lack the proper tools to perceive what we wish to study.

You can't prove that invisible pink unicorns do not exist. You can't prove that they aren't very spiritual beings (and they must be, to be both pink and invisible). And you can't prove that they are not pink. You now have no choice but to acknowledge they do exist, and give them the worship they deserve.

and you've never seen Passion of the Christ yet?? watch that. and you might LEARN something

Learn what?
That a murderous bloody fable is a metaphor?

/Or maybe that a creepy dude who flew to Florida to fark a wheelchair-bound 14-year-old is a martyr for my sins? He got arrested so I don't have to? All I have to do is accept Him as my savior and I'll be washed of the guilt of wanting to fark 14-year-olds? Sounds excellent.

Smoky Dragon Dish		2012-07-17 09:02:43 AM

Fubar: 33? Holy crap that's a hard 33....

That's what drinking a case of Rolling Rock a day does to you.

/33
//Obscure?

doglover		2012-07-17 09:05:01 AM

HotIgneous Intruder: Or maybe that a creepy dude who flew to Florida to fark a wheelchair-bound 14-year-old is a martyr for my sins?

They have lumber and big nails at Home Depot. There's a simple way to find out.

The Bunyip		2012-07-17 09:05:39 AM

BronyMedic - Kind of blaming the victim here, aren't you?

Nah, that's just how she rolls.

/sorry, I'll just escort myself to the aisle seat

ChipNASA		2012-07-17 09:05:41 AM

The Voice of Doom		2012-07-17 09:06:41 AM

dickfreckle
I've done lots of stupid things in the pursuit of getting laid, but flying nearly cross-country? Maybe if it were 1999, when air travel was still easy. But these days with the dick-touching and the hours of security theater followed by surly service and the inevitable fat chick taking up half your own seat?

Seriously, I'd rather stay home and jerk off.

Maybe he didn't care about banging an underage chick with wheels and just wanted a free trip to Florida.

Smoky Dragon Dish		2012-07-17 09:06:52 AM

Waldo Pepper: AverageAmericanGuy: irregardless

irregardless |ˌiriˈgärdlis|
adjective& adverb informal
regardless.
ORIGIN early 20th cent.: probably a blend of irrespective and regardless.
usage: Irregardless is widely heard, perhaps arising under the influence of such perfectly correct forms as irrespective, but should be avoided by careful users of English. Use regardless to mean 'without regard or consideration for' or 'nevertheless'.

Amen.

Definition of IRREGARDLESS
nonstandard: regardless
Usage Discussion of IRREGARDLESS
Irregardless originated in dialectal American speech in the early 20th century. Its fairly widespread use in speech called it to the attention of usage commentators as early as 1927. The most frequently repeated remark about it is that "there is no such word." There is such a word, however. It is still used primarily in speech, although it can be found from time to time in edited prose. Its reputation has not risen over the years, and it is still a long way from general acceptance. Use regardless instead.

Uncle Tractor		2012-07-17 09:07:28 AM

JokerMattly: Science has no way of proving there is a God, any more than it has the tools to disprove the existance of a God. Even with a fundamental understanding of every basic truth of the Universe, we are still incapable of ruling out the existence of a higher power. The absence of evidence, is not evidence of absence; we may simply lack the proper tools to perceive what we wish to study.

If you have no evidence that something exists, you have no reason to believe that it exists and considering the possibility is a waste of time. No, we can't rule out the existence of a higher power, but then again, this universe doesn't seem to have any use for such a thing. If everything can be explained through science (not yet, I know), why bother with gods?

After all, one would think that a so-called "higher power" would leave at least *some* physical evidence.

JWideman		2012-07-17 09:08:50 AM

Jon iz teh kewl: JWideman: JokerMattly: Uncle Tractor: Diogenes The Cynic: Atheism may be a valid philosophical position, but science doesn't have the tools to deal with metaphysical truths.

What "metaphysical truths?"

Science has no way of proving there is a God, any more than it has the tools to disprove the existance of a God. Even with a fundamental understanding of every basic truth of the Universe, we are still incapable of ruling out the existence of a higher power. The absence of evidence, is not evidence of absence; we may simply lack the proper tools to perceive what we wish to study.

You can't prove that invisible pink unicorns do not exist. You can't prove that they aren't very spiritual beings (and they must be, to be both pink and invisible). And you can't prove that they are not pink. You now have no choice but to acknowledge they do exist, and give them the worship they deserve.

and you've never seen Passion of the Christ yet?? watch that. and you might LEARN something

You mean it's full of invisible pink unicorns? I did not know this. I've learned something already.

KimNorth		2012-07-17 09:13:25 AM

Wow this guy looks 53 not 33!

jgilb		2012-07-17 09:13:47 AM

MythDragon: It's not like she'd feel it, so he'd have to do something special for her...
[www.wicked-vision.com image 420x243]

Maybe she gives good head.

/window please

What movie is that scene from ?

IAmRight		2012-07-17 09:13:57 AM

"What the f*ck, guys, it's like Make-A-Wish, I'm making this chick's dream come true. You'd be A-OK with it if she wanted to meet a celebrity. Instead she wants to get boned by an ugly old guy from across the country. Who are you do deny this girl's dreams?"

JWideman		2012-07-17 09:14:07 AM

Also, I apologize profusely for inadvertently turning this into a pony thread.

Fubar		2012-07-17 09:15:09 AM

Smoky Dragon Dish: Fubar: 33? Holy crap that's a hard 33....

That's what drinking a case of Rolling Rock a day does to you.

/33
//Obscure?

From the glass lined tanks of old Latrobe, we tender this premium beer for your enjoyment as a tribute to your good taste. it comes from the mountain springs to you "33"

/born in Latrobe
//sad that rolling rock isn't made there anymore.

ChipNASA		2012-07-17 09:16:35 AM

HotIgneous Intruder		2012-07-17 09:17:10 AM

Uncle Tractor: If you have no evidence that something exists, you have no reason to believe that it exists and considering the possibility is a waste of time. No, we can't rule out the existence of a higher power, but then again, this universe doesn't seem to have any use for such a thing. If everything can be explained through science (not yet, I know), why bother with gods?

After all, one would think that a so-called "higher power" would leave at least *some* physical evidence.

Nobody can prove that love exists.
People create gods and religions to create alternate explanations for events so they can be released from the terrifying uncertainty of living in a random, indifferent universe, They also do it to release themselves and others from responsibility for their actions. Religion is the fuzzy logic that needs to be applied to life in the physical world in order to make it bearable to creature with highly developed senses of imagination.

Uncle Tractor		2012-07-17 09:17:11 AM

JWideman: and you've never seen Passion of the Christ yet?? watch that. and you might LEARN something

You mean it's full of invisible pink unicorns? I did not know this. I've learned something already.

On the topic of minors and unicorns and higher powers; I read some of the Christian texts that weren't included in the bible a couple of days ago. One of them was the Infancy Gospel of Thomas (google it). Apparently, when Jesus was a little kid, he went around killing other kids. Regular little Damien.

ph0rk		2012-07-17 09:18:07 AM

What? Bronies in a pedo thread? No way!

doglover		2012-07-17 09:18:13 AM

JWideman: Also, I apologize profusely for inadvertently turning this into a pony thread.

i0.kym-cdn.com

Lurk sober post drunk		2012-07-17 09:18:37 AM

Uncle Tractor: JWideman: and you've never seen Passion of the Christ yet?? watch that. and you might LEARN something

You mean it's full of invisible pink unicorns? I did not know this. I've learned something already.

On the topic of minors and unicorns and higher powers; I read some of the Christian texts that weren't included in the bible a couple of days ago. One of them was the Infancy Gospel of Thomas (google it). Apparently, when Jesus was a little kid, he went around killing other kids. Regular little Damien.

like father like son

ph0rk		2012-07-17 09:19:41 AM

Lurk sober post drunk: Uncle Tractor: JWideman: and you've never seen Passion of the Christ yet?? watch that. and you might LEARN something

You mean it's full of invisible pink unicorns? I did not know this. I've learned something already.

On the topic of minors and unicorns and higher powers; I read some of the Christian texts that weren't included in the bible a couple of days ago. One of them was the Infancy Gospel of Thomas (google it). Apparently, when Jesus was a little kid, he went around killing other kids. Regular little Damien.

like father like son

More like fanfic:

"The Infancy Gospel of Thomas is a pseudepigraphical gospel about the childhood of Jesus that dates to the 2nd and 3rd centuries."

Uncle Tractor		2012-07-17 09:22:41 AM

HotIgneous Intruder: Nobody can prove that love exists.

Really?

upload.wikimedia.org

People create gods and religions to create alternate explanations for events so they can be released from the terrifying uncertainty of living in a random, indifferent universe,

Sure, but now we've got ways to find answers that aren't made up. Methods that provide real, workable answers. We call it "science."

They also do it to release themselves and others from responsibility for their actions. Religion is the fuzzy logic that needs to be applied to life in the physical world in order to make it bearable to creature with highly developed senses of imagination.

Religion is nothing but trouble.

Uncle Tractor		2012-07-17 09:23:40 AM

ph0rk: More like fanfic:

"The Infancy Gospel of Thomas is a pseudepigraphical gospel about the childhood of Jesus that dates to the 2nd and 3rd centuries."

Yeah... doesn't that describe just about 100% of the NT?

Diogenes The Cynic		2012-07-17 09:28:07 AM

Uncle Tractor: Diogenes The Cynic: Atheism may be a valid philosophical position, but science doesn't have the tools to deal with metaphysical truths.

What "metaphysical truths?"

Is there a soul?
Is this art?
Do I have a mind, or only a brain?

Etc.

Look, I've said it before, and I will say it again. Science is the drooling, retarded step-brother to Philosophy. We (at least, educated people) accept science because "it tends to work." Were it not for the philosophers, the scientists would still be trying to turn lead into gold.

ph0rk		2012-07-17 09:29:04 AM

Uncle Tractor: ph0rk: More like fanfic:

"The Infancy Gospel of Thomas is a pseudepigraphical gospel about the childhood of Jesus that dates to the 2nd and 3rd centuries."

Yeah... doesn't that describe just about 100% of the NT?

You said it, not me :)

unchellmatt		2012-07-17 09:29:32 AM

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE?!?!

web.mit.edu

On the MOOOOOOOON!

/stop the Bronies... just stop.

MagSeven		2012-07-17 09:29:38 AM

I've learned from a friend that this My Little Pony phenomenon has nothing to do with pedophilia or degenerates in the vast majority of cases, but I can't help but think of what Nancy Grace would think if she stumbled into this thread.

Bender The Offender		2012-07-17 09:29:47 AM

BronyMedic: MythDragon: Is she a victim is she is paying for a guy to come fark her? It kinda sounds like she wanted it.

She didn't pay for him to come fark her. She stole a credit card, and stole money to get the guy there.

It's called grooming. The predator conditions and "trains" his or her victim to accept and further their advances.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_grooming

I know when I'm looking for expert medical testimony, I seek out the professional with an.associates degree in a tangentially related field and an 8 hour psych module for their expert psychiatric analysis. I mean, who doesn't learn everything there is to know about mental health between the mental inquest warrant class and the application of restraints class?

Ikahoshi		2012-07-17 09:30:06 AM

Inflatable Rhetoric		2012-07-17 09:30:36 AM

Diogenes The Cynic: Uncle Tractor: Diogenes The Cynic: Atheism may be a valid philosophical position, but science doesn't have the tools to deal with metaphysical truths.

What "metaphysical truths?"

Is there a soul?
Is this art?
Do I have a mind, or only a brain?

Etc.

Look, I've said it before, and I will say it again. Science is the drooling, retarded step-brother to Philosophy. We (at least, educated people) accept science because "it tends to work." Were it not for the philosophers, the scientists would still be trying to turn lead into gold.

What? Philosophers made the periodic table of elements? And did research on atomic structure?

Which philosopher did that, and how?

ph0rk		2012-07-17 09:31:23 AM

ph0rk: Uncle Tractor: ph0rk: More like fanfic:

"The Infancy Gospel of Thomas is a pseudepigraphical gospel about the childhood of Jesus that dates to the 2nd and 3rd centuries."

Yeah... doesn't that describe just about 100% of the NT?

You said it, not me :)

Oh, well, of course there's some debate, but:

All of the works which would eventually be incorporated into the New Testament would seem to have been written no later than around AD 150.[1] Numerous scholars date all of them prior to AD 70, because there is no mention of the total destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem, or the final years and deaths of Paul, Peter, and the other apostles.

So, if it was as late as 3rd century it really is a different chunk of work. Whatever - I think people writing about the childhood of someone who was a relative nobody while a child 2-300 years later fails the plausibility test.

Diogenes The Cynic		2012-07-17 09:32:57 AM

JWideman: JokerMattly: Uncle Tractor: Diogenes The Cynic: Atheism may be a valid philosophical position, but science doesn't have the tools to deal with metaphysical truths.

What "metaphysical truths?"

Science has no way of proving there is a God, any more than it has the tools to disprove the existance of a God. Even with a fundamental understanding of every basic truth of the Universe, we are still incapable of ruling out the existence of a higher power. The absence of evidence, is not evidence of absence; we may simply lack the proper tools to perceive what we wish to study.

You can't prove that invisible pink unicorns do not exist. You can't prove that they aren't very spiritual beings (and they must be, to be both pink and invisible). And you can't prove that they are not pink. You now have no choice but to acknowledge they do exist, and give them the worship they deserve.

Do you think you're funny? Or Anselm?
Burden of proof, yadda yadda yadda. You already know this. Read more.
Things can't have primary characteristics without secondary characteristics, so invisible pink unicorns couldn't exist.

ph0rk		2012-07-17 09:33:34 AM

Inflatable Rhetoric: Diogenes The Cynic: Uncle Tractor: Diogenes The Cynic: Atheism may be a valid philosophical position, but science doesn't have the tools to deal with metaphysical truths.

What "metaphysical truths?"

Is there a soul?
Is this art?
Do I have a mind, or only a brain?

Etc.

Look, I've said it before, and I will say it again. Science is the drooling, retarded step-brother to Philosophy. We (at least, educated people) accept science because "it tends to work." Were it not for the philosophers, the scientists would still be trying to turn lead into gold.

What? Philosophers made the periodic table of elements? And did research on atomic structure?

Which philosopher did that, and how?

Someone is still living in a pre-renaissance world and hasn't paid much attention to philosophy these days. They're well on the way to cornering the market on (secular) drooling, retarded step-brothers.