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(CNN)   Delta to institute new fee for passengers who desire the luxury of needle-free food   (cnn.com) divider line 49
    More: Sick, Domestic turkey, security protocol, Schiphol Airport, airlines  
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6533 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Jul 2012 at 11:43 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



49 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-07-16 10:54:30 PM
It'll be a nice day if my food doesn't have needles in it.

It's always a nice day if your food doesn't have needles in it.

If the sun's not too warm.
 
2012-07-16 11:49:55 PM
Done!

I'm done. This finally broke me.

If I'm in the US, I'll take Amtrak and the lack of TSA agents, and pay through the butt for it. If it's too damn far, I'll drive.

/The Quiet Car is pretty damn awesome.
 
2012-07-16 11:50:08 PM
Flying on Delta next Monday to Seattle. I hope I don't get a needle in my food.
 
2012-07-16 11:50:19 PM
When I was a kid, I was over at a friend's house cooking mashmallows. I bit into one and there was a pin in it. Luckily, I bit it sideways, so it only hurt my teeth a little. Kinda a freaky, but I got over it.

/csb
 
2012-07-16 11:52:07 PM
Sew what?
 
2012-07-16 11:52:33 PM
What. The. Fark.

No, really.

WHAT THE fark?! How does this even happen? Hair, I get. Eyelashes, boogers, whatever. But needles? *shudder*
 
2012-07-16 11:52:59 PM
As if airline cuisine wasn't hazardous enough.....
 
2012-07-16 11:53:22 PM
Needles found in sandwiches, Delta says; FBI to investigate

And this is why I never order club sandwiches; never know whether you're getting them from the homebrew club or the quilting club.
 
2012-07-16 11:55:07 PM
upload.wikimedia.org

OK, which one of you put the needle in my sammich? Soldiers, detain these women immediately.
 
2012-07-16 11:55:27 PM
How else are you supposed to sneak them on the plane?
 
2012-07-16 11:56:40 PM
Does this mean Jenny McCarthy was right all along?
 
2012-07-16 11:59:56 PM
This is why I never trust the Dutch.
 
2012-07-17 12:03:26 AM

t3knomanser: It'll be a nice day if my food doesn't have needles in it.

It's always a nice day if your food doesn't have needles in it.

If the sun's not too warm.


Watch out for needle-tossing wizards.
 
2012-07-17 12:04:13 AM
The pilot is fine, he had the fish.
 
2012-07-17 12:16:51 AM
It's a failed hijacking plot: certain people were supposed to get the needles, which they'd them use to take hostages and threaten to poke them in the eye, but somehow the signals got crossed. Maybe the infiltrated stewardesses got food poisoning that day?

Or maybe somebody really didn't like anybody who'deat a turkey sandwich.

Those are my two best stabs at a rational explanation. If that doesn't work you could always say Jesus put them there.
 
2012-07-17 12:24:06 AM
Here I thought it was going to be a story about feeding the passengers intravenously.
 
2012-07-17 12:24:18 AM
This story is obviously fake.

Delta serves food??
 
2012-07-17 12:25:42 AM
First they took away the free peanuts, now they're taking away the free needles? Fark you, Delta. Fark you.
 
2012-07-17 12:32:27 AM
Delta: We love to fly, and it sews.
 
2012-07-17 12:35:16 AM

untaken_name: First they took away the free peanuts, now they're taking away the free needles? Fark you, Delta. Fark you.


This. What a buncha pricks! Needleless to say, I wont be flying delta any time sewn.
 
2012-07-17 12:37:48 AM
The needles were there to poke your taste buds out of their shiatty-tasting food induced coma.
 
2012-07-17 12:39:52 AM
Needles aside, Delta's ham and cheese hot sandwich is delicious.

I'd say the same for their ice cream sandwiches, but they actually freeze them until they turn completely solid.
 
2012-07-17 12:42:19 AM

Znuh: Done!

I'm done. This finally broke me.

If I'm in the US, I'll take Amtrak and the lack of TSA agents, and pay through the butt for it. If it's too damn far, I'll drive.

/The Quiet Car is pretty damn awesome.


Except the flights originated from Amsterdam.
 
2012-07-17 12:45:03 AM
I think this will, after an exhaustive joint NTSB, NSA, TSA and OSHA investigation, be found to be a "prank" perpetrated by exhausted and overworked baggage handlers.

Probably got the needles out of all the bags they rummage through.
 
2012-07-17 12:46:47 AM
So... changing the subject a bit... who has the crown for worst U.S. airline? Is it Delta? I dunno, American sure is craptastic. Then there's Northworst and United and....
 
2012-07-17 12:48:56 AM

doosh: So... changing the subject a bit... who has the crown for worst U.S. airline? Is it Delta? I dunno, American sure is craptastic. Then there's Northworst and United and....


Northworst and Delta are now one company. Dethworst.
 
2012-07-17 12:50:31 AM
I'm flying Delta soon.
Hope I don't get served the needles 'n noodles.
 
2012-07-17 01:09:29 AM
Step 1: buy Delta ticket
Step 2: bring along some needles
step 3: call a major news agency
step 4: try to profit but fail immensely because FARKING needles have nothing to do with food prep!

/6 year lurker converting
 
2012-07-17 01:09:58 AM
Today's meal choices are Beef, Chicken, or Porcupine Sandwich.. "I know what I'm having

tomstockton.us
 
2012-07-17 01:36:39 AM
I just had a vision of a pale-skinned, peachfuzz beard, once piece airport jumpsuit wearing, metal-loving Dutchman
 
2012-07-17 01:51:48 AM

The One True TheDavid: It's a failed hijacking plot: certain people were supposed to get the needles, which they'd them use to take hostages and threaten to poke them in the eye, but somehow the signals got crossed. Maybe the infiltrated stewardesses got food poisoning that day?

Or maybe somebody really didn't like anybody who'deat a turkey sandwich.

Those are my two best stabs at a rational explanation. If that doesn't work you could always say Jesus put them there.


they were going to use the needles to take down the flight crew by giving them jailhouse tattoos that would inevitably become infected and then pick the locks to the cockpit
 
2012-07-17 02:05:02 AM

hi13760: 6 year lurker converting


How YOU doin'?
 
2012-07-17 02:14:53 AM
I hit the deli today to get fixings for a big sandwich I intend to take on a Delta flight tomorrow, so I'm getting a kick...
 
2012-07-17 02:26:04 AM
Has anyone pointed out that the needle would be more edible than the sandwich?
 
2012-07-17 03:25:47 AM
Glad I had the lasagna.
media.tumblr.com
 
2012-07-17 03:59:51 AM
Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherf**king snakesneedles on this motherf**king plane!
 
xcv
2012-07-17 06:28:28 AM

The One True TheDavid: It's a failed hijacking plot: certain people were supposed to get the needles, which they'd them use to take hostages and threaten to poke them in the eye, but somehow the signals got crossed. Maybe the infiltrated stewardesses got food poisoning that day?

Or maybe somebody really didn't like anybody who'deat a turkey sandwich.

Those are my two best stabs at a rational explanation. If that doesn't work you could always say Jesus put them there.


The needles were dipped in routine vaccines; the most fear-inspiring attack Al Queda could devise was to assault Real Americans with free healthcare.
 
2012-07-17 06:47:22 AM
Clearly we need a new govt agency to spend billions to solve this problem.
 
2012-07-17 08:18:28 AM
Disgruntled caterer?
 
2012-07-17 08:51:00 AM
I sent this story in well before it appeared on CNN. The FARK powers chose it not. My headline: "Bad Delta food? You may have a point." I don't think I'll be sending in any more stories, fark'em.
 
2012-07-17 08:53:36 AM

groppet: Clearly we need a new govt agency to spend billions to solve this problem.


The Needle Enforcement Agency will be sending jackbooted thugs to Honduras to gun down anyone that looks like a needle runner.
 
2012-07-17 09:13:07 AM
It seems the injured people know each other.
 
2012-07-17 09:13:38 AM
god, CNN is such a piece of shiat news organization.


here is a far superior story (new window)

as it were i find it hard to believe that someone would refuse medical treatment after biting into a farking needle.
and yeah - turns out he has been put on truvada. He probably just decided to seek treatment on his own.

two of the victims were related - on different flights.
wtf?
 
2012-07-17 09:16:04 AM

stainpouch: I sent this story in well before it appeared on CNN. The FARK powers chose it not. My headline: "Bad Delta food? You may have a point." I don't think I'll be sending in any more stories, fark'em.


www.demotivationalposters.org

were you on the flight? maybe the other needles were in your seat cushion.
 
gja [TotalFark]
2012-07-17 09:26:55 AM
Needles in meat.....bleh

/probably from the sutures used during the operation to save its life so it could grow big and fat and be killed for food later.
 
2012-07-17 09:39:23 AM

Pathman: stainpouch: I sent this story in well before it appeared on CNN. The FARK powers chose it not. My headline: "Bad Delta food? You may have a point." I don't think I'll be sending in any more stories, fark'em.

[www.demotivationalposters.org image 640x516]

were you on the flight? maybe the other needles were in your seat cushion.


Stick it.
 
2012-07-17 10:34:17 AM
Gate Gourmet, which provided prepared sandwiches to Delta, said the sandwiches originated at the firm's facility in Amsterdam.

Obvious Tag apparently opted for the fish. What food originating in Amsterdam doesn't contain needles?!?
 
2012-07-17 12:32:31 PM

stainpouch: Stick it.


farm3.staticflickr.com
 
2012-07-17 12:56:07 PM
If you please, you may do likewise.
 
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