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(The Onion)   Joe Paterno's name to remain on the Joe Paterno Center for Covering Up Child Abuse   (theonion.com) divider line 72
    More: Satire, Joe Paterno  
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2073 clicks; posted to Sports » on 16 Jul 2012 at 10:17 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-17 08:39:04 AM  

urban.derelict: astounded by obedient servitude of footballers -- probably thought any complaints would lessen their chances to make the A-team -- until I started this sentence then I realized they'd never make it to pro ball and end up becoming pigs because they enjoy throwing their weight around, having badge to hide behind


Time to turn off the coffee pot.
 
2012-07-17 09:06:19 AM  
Guilt over it seemed to kill him...
 
2012-07-17 09:07:22 AM  

AngryPoet: Guilt over it seemed to kill him...


Guilt causes lung cancer?

I'm going to go back to smoking then....
 
2012-07-17 09:11:05 AM  

The Muthaship: AngryPoet: Guilt over it seemed to kill him...

Guilt causes lung cancer?

I'm going to go back to smoking then....


I was speaking more of the will to live through it and see everything in his life tarnished...
 
2012-07-17 09:12:01 AM  

AngryPoet: I was speaking more of the will to live through it and see everything in his life tarnished...


In that case, I will not try to have any more fun. Sorry.
 
2012-07-17 09:14:21 AM  

The Muthaship: AngryPoet: I was speaking more of the will to live through it and see everything in his life tarnished...

In that case, I will not try to have any more fun. Sorry.


no, I am sorry, my first cup of coffee ....part of the brain is still asleep..
 
2012-07-17 09:17:47 AM  
Joe Paterno lived long enough to see everything he built in life wiped away by the stench of covering up child abuse. When people talk about his legacy, they'll talk about Sandusky and child rape.

At this point it seems almost superfluous to criticize him. He got to see everything he built come crashing down, he got to see his coverup fail. He may not have seen jail time, yet I can't imagine a worse fate for someone who built up such a public image than this utter disgrace.
 
2012-07-17 09:30:30 AM  

mc_madness: Joe Paterno developed more young men in 50 years than anyone.

He was a great man. You armchair critics should be ashamed.




The Titanic made it like 70% of the way across the ocean which is pretty good. I never quite understood why it got such a bad rap for only hitting one iceberg.
 
2012-07-17 09:35:22 AM  

urban.derelict: No, please don't. I hope there is a hell and I hope he burns in it forever because of his implied consent; he knew about it in 2002 and pushed it out of his mind to concentrate on college football instead.


Actually, he knew all about it in 1998, too.
 
2012-07-17 09:58:44 AM  

birdboy2000: Joe Paterno lived long enough to see everything he built in life wiped away by the stench of covering up child abuse. When people talk about his legacy, they'll talk about Sandusky and child rape.

At this point it seems almost superfluous to criticize him. He got to see everything he built come crashing down, he got to see his coverup fail. He may not have seen jail time, yet I can't imagine a worse fate for someone who built up such a public image than this utter disgrace.


This sums up my feelings exactly.
 
2012-07-17 10:05:27 AM  

birdboy2000: Joe Paterno lived long enough to see everything he built in life wiped away by the stench of covering up child abuse. When people talk about his legacy, they'll talk about Sandusky and child rape.

At this point it seems almost superfluous to criticize him. He got to see everything he built come crashing down, he got to see his coverup fail. He may not have seen jail time, yet I can't imagine a worse fate for someone who built up such a public image than this utter disgrace.


Living a bit longer to see what he built get torn down, forcing him to watch the testimony - He was quoted saying something like "I wish I had done more", which means he probably understood he was wrong, but it was still a gross miscalculation of the magnitude of the issue on his part - Making him understand this before it killed him would have been more just in my mind. The fact that his health turned so quickly might mean he understood but wouldn't speak publicly, but I can't give him the benefit of the doubt.
 
2012-07-17 10:30:41 AM  
Isnt arguing if the Onion is funny on fark like discussing sexual conquests on WoW?
 
2012-07-17 10:37:36 AM  

dookdookdook: How to write an Onion article
Step 1) Come up with stupid, obvious, pointless joke about something in the news and write a headline about it.
Step 2) Write an "article" consisting of nothing but a dozen rephrasings of that same one joke.
Step 3) ???
Step 4) E-FAME!

Was there actually a time in history when The Onion was a great source of comedy?


I don't think all the jokes are stupid, obvious and pointless, but I gotta agree with #2; the typical Onion article pounds a single joke for too long, and explains it for the short bus crowd, until it's unfunny. The one about the man defending what he imagines the Constitution to be is a perfect example. Good satire shouldn't have to explain what the joke is.
 
2012-07-17 10:52:42 AM  

Super Chronic: I don't think all the jokes are stupid, obvious and pointless, but I gotta agree with #2; the typical Onion article pounds a single joke for too long, and explains it for the short bus crowd, until it's unfunny. The one about the man defending what he imagines the Constitution to be is a perfect example. Good satire shouldn't have to explain what the joke is.


On the other hand, beating simple points to death is what newspapers do best, and the Onion originally was a joke newspaper.
 
2012-07-17 11:11:00 AM  
I bet a guy could make a fortune by writing a book about how the media sucks. People cannot get enough of hearing about things that suck.
 
2012-07-17 11:30:46 AM  
I always thought this one was good: Link
 
2012-07-17 11:37:18 AM  

GreatGlavinsGhost: DammitIForgotMyLogin: Olfin Bedwere: dookdookdook: How to write an Onion article
Step 1) Come up with stupid, obvious, pointless joke about something in the news and write a headline about it.
Step 2) Write an "article" consisting of nothing but a dozen rephrasings of that same one joke.
Step 3) ???
Step 4) E-FAME!

Was there actually a time in history when The Onion was a great source of comedy?

I always get a kick out of this one: Link

And let's not forget this one

Or, these three:
one, two and three.


Not a video, but still my all-time favorite Onion article.
 
2012-07-17 05:12:44 PM  

Super Chronic: dookdookdook: How to write an Onion article
Step 1) Come up with stupid, obvious, pointless joke about something in the news and write a headline about it.
Step 2) Write an "article" consisting of nothing but a dozen rephrasings of that same one joke.
Step 3) ???
Step 4) E-FAME!

Was there actually a time in history when The Onion was a great source of comedy?

I don't think all the jokes are stupid, obvious and pointless, but I gotta agree with #2; the typical Onion article pounds a single joke for too long, and explains it for the short bus crowd, until it's unfunny. The one about the man defending what he imagines the Constitution to be is a perfect example. Good satire shouldn't have to explain what the joke is.


Their better articles are the shorter ones, imo. Less room to be repetitive.
 
2012-07-17 08:45:22 PM  

birdboy2000: Joe Paterno lived long enough to see everything he built in life wiped away by the stench of covering up child abuse. When people talk about his legacy, they'll talk about Sandusky and child rape.

At this point it seems almost superfluous to criticize him. He got to see everything he built come crashing down, he got to see his coverup fail. He may not have seen jail time, yet I can't imagine a worse fate for someone who built up such a public image than this utter disgrace.


No, no, no! You have to want to dig up his corpse and hold Cadaver Synod 2.0, or you're a kiddy-diddler enabler!
 
2012-07-17 10:06:07 PM  

mikaloyd: I bet a guy could make a fortune by writing a book about how the media sucks. People cannot get enough of hearing about things that suck.


Looks like the powers that be have convinced the public that the press is evil and to be ignored. Good for them. Bad for us.
 
2012-07-17 11:11:27 PM  
IlGreven

No, no, no! You have to want to dig up his corpse and hold Cadaver Synod 2.0, or you're a kiddy-diddler enabler!

No, but I'd rather like the damn statue to be taken down.
 
2012-07-17 11:38:26 PM  

IlGreven: No, no, no! You have to want to dig up his corpse and hold Cadaver Synod 2.0, or you're a kiddy-diddler enabler!


Um... err... wouldn't this be Cadaver Synod 1.0, since up until this point he wasn't dead?

But whatever. It's not about him anymore, but about those deluded folks who still hold his life to have had value. Removing the idols that distract these poor people from his monstrous deeds will, it is hoped, help bring them people to their senses.
 
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