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(Salon)   CNN Pentagon reporter claims Iran has a missile that can reach U.S. soil. Difficulty: if Iran parks the missile on a boat anchoring 600 miles off US shore   (salon.com) divider line 44
    More: Fail, Iran, U.S., ballistic missiles, boat anchor, missiles, CNN  
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907 clicks; posted to Politics » on 16 Jul 2012 at 1:17 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-16 01:07:09 PM
At this point, it's either us or Israel that will be doing the bombing. Who cares if we'll have to have a draft and spend yet another trillion dollars of money we don't have?
 
2012-07-16 01:13:51 PM
You mean like Saddam's Naval Armada and his inter-continental bomber force that threatened the "Homeland"?

I'm so scared right now. I need to be held. Because anyone at any time can threaten us. How can this be?!
 
2012-07-16 01:19:52 PM

themindiswatching: At this point, it's either us or Israel that will be doing the bombing. Who cares if we'll have to have a draft and spend yet another trillion dollars of money we don't have?


Nobel peace prize?
 
2012-07-16 01:19:54 PM
So.... what hot CIA operative gets to be outed because her husband called "bullshiat"on this one?
 
2012-07-16 01:22:01 PM
/facepalm
 
2012-07-16 01:22:48 PM
Oh, CNN. You used to be cool. I remember watching that first Gulf War show for hours on end. What happened to you?

/I blame Jeanne Moos.
 
2012-07-16 01:23:31 PM
How many photoshops of yield will the missile carry? How much clone pattern tooling was needed to complete such a weapon?
 
2012-07-16 01:24:09 PM

GameSprocket: /I blame Jeanne Moos.


She looks like she moos, and she's really annoying.
 
2012-07-16 01:24:40 PM
Well technically any US military base is sovereign US soil so all they'd have to do it hit a base in the Persian Gulf.
 
2012-07-16 01:25:12 PM
They don't even need to do that. Iran could just FedEx a missile to their operatives in downtown Manhattan, which would put them well within range of being able to hit DC.
 
2012-07-16 01:26:01 PM
Easy solution to made-up problem:
www.manw.nato.int
 
2012-07-16 01:26:48 PM
Man, CNN just keeps digging that hole deeper, magnified by The Newsroom.
 
2012-07-16 01:26:59 PM
600 miles? I seriously doubt they could reach that far with any accuracy.

Even if they could, the most they could do is take out a beach house or two. Nasty for whomever get's their number picked but on a military scale of things totally insignificant.
 
2012-07-16 01:30:22 PM

AntiNerd: the most they could do is take out a beach house or two


What?!?! But I have a beach house or two!
thegrio.files.wordpress.com
Sir, please - do tell me - what have you heard of it's destructive power regarding car elevators?!?
 
2012-07-16 01:33:52 PM
A Salon article by Glenn Greenwald?

Now that's what I'm talking 'bout.

*hastily removes pin from admin voodoo doll's back and stuffs it under cushion*

So, what we got?

Iran already has a missile that could reach the U.S. if it could put it on a ship and move it to within 600 miles of the American coastline.

Oh, FFS.

Ya know, younger Farkers, there was a time when the RW press referred to CNN as the Communist News Network because it was sooooo left wing.

Yeah, good times. Long past.

..what Blitzer described as "an ominous new warning coming in from the Pentagon: Iran's missiles are getting more accurate, apparently getting more deadly as well."

*yawn*

Wolf "totally made that name up for the war" Blitzer?

Involved in some sabre rattling/ fear mongering trying to whip up support for a bombing campaign of Iran's underground nuclear enrichment facilities?

Blitzer began his career in journalism in the early 1970s in the Tel Aviv bureau of the Reuters news agency. In 1973 he caught the eye of Jerusalem Post editor Ari Rath, who hired Blitzer as a Washington correspondent for the English language Israeli newspaper. Blitzer would remain with the Jerusalem Post until 1990, covering both American politics and developments in the Middle East.[9]
In the mid-1970s, Blitzer also contributed to the American Israel Public Affairs Committee (AIPAC) as the editor of their monthly publication, the Near East Report.[10][11]


That Wolf Blitzer?

My surprised face...

/Is Anna Nicole still dead, Wolf?
 
2012-07-16 01:36:11 PM

Epoch_Zero: AntiNerd: the most they could do is take out a beach house or two

What?!?! But I have a beach house or two!
[thegrio.files.wordpress.com image 487x365]
Sir, please - do tell me - what have you heard of it's destructive power regarding car elevators?!?


They've got car-elevator seeking missiles.
 
2012-07-16 01:39:05 PM
meh, CNN sucks. They are just trying to be Fox-lite now. At least their women anchors don't look like the end result of one of Hitler's breeding programs though
 
2012-07-16 01:43:03 PM
CNN Pentagon reporter claims Iran has a missile that can reach U.S. soil. Difficulty: if Iran parks the missile on a boat anchoring 600 miles off US shore

I have a penis that can successfully penetrate Mila Kunis at any time. That is, as long as she is naked and within hip-thrustin'-distance...

/approximately 1 metric hip-thrust should do
 
2012-07-16 01:45:26 PM
well our navy could be defeated if they made a billion 1 manned crafts with rpgs
 
2012-07-16 01:45:36 PM
sounds like somebody wants a reboot/re-imaging of 1941.
 
2012-07-16 01:46:07 PM

bwilson27: Easy solution to made-up problem:
[www.manw.nato.int image 850x806]


what's that a pic of?
 
2012-07-16 01:48:47 PM

quatchi: That Wolf Blitzer?

My surprised face...


I went looking for one and couldn't find it, so I present to you courage wolf blitzer

img405.imageshack.us

//no idea why I do the things I do
 
2012-07-16 02:00:00 PM

zedster: //no idea why I do the things I do


For the lulz, of course.
 
2012-07-16 02:01:38 PM

zedster: quatchi: That Wolf Blitzer?

My surprised face...

I went looking for one and couldn't find it, so I present to you courage wolf blitzer

[img405.imageshack.us image 576x576]

//no idea why I do the things I do


I want to caption that... but ... but it just wouldn't be right...
 
2012-07-16 02:15:46 PM

zedster: quatchi: That Wolf Blitzer?

My surprised face...

I went looking for one and couldn't find it, so I present to you courage wolf blitzer

[wolfssurprisedface]

//no idea why I do the things I do


As Ark, mentioned. lulz factor into almost everything.

Odd pic. Wolfie has an almost hypnotoad like quality to his eyes in that shot. S'creepy!
 
2012-07-16 02:18:34 PM

zedster: quatchi: That Wolf Blitzer?

My surprised face...

I went looking for one and couldn't find it, so I present to you courage wolf blitzer

[img405.imageshack.us image 576x576]

//no idea why I do the things I do


I gotta be honest I want to frame that in my house.

To freak out other people, of course.

To masturbate to
 
2012-07-16 02:32:10 PM

zedster: quatchi: That Wolf Blitzer?

My surprised face...

I went looking for one and couldn't find it, so I present to you courage wolf blitzer

[img405.imageshack.us image 576x576]

//no idea why I do the things I do


And thus, a new Internet meme was born.
 
2012-07-16 02:32:52 PM

bdub77: To masturbate to


I saw you sneak that in there, you sick fark!
 
2012-07-16 03:01:41 PM

GameSprocket: Oh, CNN. You used to be cool. I remember watching that first Gulf War show for hours on end. What happened to you?

/I blame Jeanne Moos.


The sole reason CNN became anything was because during the first Iraq war they had a shiatty little phoneline the Iraqis didn't control or cut and they could get information inside out. That is it, they had a shiatty little phoneline 20 years ago. There were some good decisions that lead to that circumstance, but it's improbable that they were done with any particular insight, much less foresight, so CNN is basically 90% old luck.

Fox News maybe terrible, and even diminishing us as a species, but they've got a strategy, and they understand who's watching them, and their motivations. So, they win.
 
2012-07-16 03:10:11 PM

Tickle Mittens: So, they win.


And we all lose. So, so very hard.
 
2012-07-16 03:14:31 PM
I hate you CNN. You used to be great. Now you fail at everything.
 
2012-07-16 03:21:13 PM

Tickle Mittens: The sole reason CNN became anything was because during the first Iraq war they had a shiatty little phoneline the Iraqis didn't control or cut and they could get information inside out. That is it, they had a shiatty little phoneline 20 years ago. There were some good decisions that lead to that circumstance, but it's improbable that they were done with any particular insight, much less foresight, so CNN is basically 90% old luck.


That is not true at all. Sure they had the advantage of people in the city, but they also had reporters live in every major city in the region as well as on a couple of ships. They were the only 24-hour news channel at the time, and the difference in timezones meant that the bombing runs were taking place during prime time.

It is possible that they never had a good product when not covering a war, but they were great during the first Gulf War. So, it may have still been a lot of luck, but at least they were putting in the effort in 1990. After that, they went all Entertainment Tonight.
 
2012-07-16 04:28:42 PM

GameSprocket: Tickle Mittens: The sole reason CNN became anything was because during the first Iraq war they had a shiatty little phoneline the Iraqis didn't control or cut and they could get information inside out. That is it, they had a shiatty little phoneline 20 years ago. There were some good decisions that lead to that circumstance, but it's improbable that they were done with any particular insight, much less foresight, so CNN is basically 90% old luck.

That is not true at all. Sure they had the advantage of people in the city, but they also had reporters live in every major city in the region as well as on a couple of ships. They were the only 24-hour news channel at the time, and the difference in timezones meant that the bombing runs were taking place during prime time.

It is possible that they never had a good product when not covering a war, but they were great during the first Gulf War. So, it may have still been a lot of luck, but at least they were putting in the effort in 1990. After that, they went all Entertainment Tonight.


Sort of the problem with news in general, innit? If it's not an outright war, it's a conflict more or less manufactured to move units.

Every story in every news source is "X vs Y" (because informing people is so passe - we need a conflict, a description of it, and reaction shots. And write about it at a 6th grade level, k? Theeeeenks.), no matter how much bombast they need to pipe in.

A dude wearing Air Jordans got booted from a nightclub? I want 800 words on my desk by 7am, I don't even care if 100% of them are English. We have editors for that!

// editor to be fired tomorrow at 705am
 
2012-07-16 04:54:37 PM
And by "CNN Pentagon Reporter", they mean AIPAC PR Stooge.

Israel: the ultimate foreign entanglement.
 
2012-07-16 05:39:32 PM
They tried this shiat with QuagRaq as well. Said Saddam had a missile that could hit "US interests." Of course no one mentioned the only thing that was in range of it was Incirlik, and that only if it were launched from the border with Turkey.

.
 
2012-07-16 05:47:38 PM

NewportBarGuy: You mean like Saddam's Naval Armada and his inter-continental bomber force that threatened the "Homeland"?

I'm so scared right now. I need to be held. Because anyone at any time can threaten us. How can this be?!


You're right down the road. I'll come hold you. Because I'm scared too, all the time.

You're not a man, right? I'm also scared of being raped.
 
2012-07-16 06:43:31 PM
Iran does have a launch system that can get into orbit which means they could technically get something to the US. That launch vehicle is only capable of carrying 60 pounds into orbit though. So technically the reporter is correct but the significance is meaningless from a strategic standpoint.
 
2012-07-16 09:02:16 PM
I bet they could probably hit Alaska from Russia, as long as Putin's giant head isn't in the way.
 
2012-07-16 09:06:07 PM

Gyrfalcon: You're not a man, right? I'm also scared of being raped.


i48.tinypic.com
 
2012-07-16 09:20:30 PM

NewportBarGuy: Gyrfalcon: You're not a man, right? I'm also scared of being raped.

[i48.tinypic.com image 400x225]


Heh heh heh...
 
2012-07-16 09:20:55 PM
Didn't we hear similar bullshiat about a decade ago?
 
2012-07-16 09:28:27 PM
Im so tired of all this Iranian weenie waiving. Get it over with and do something stupid so we can finish the job. We have to be at the gym in 26 minutes.
 
2012-07-16 10:17:23 PM
Bagdaddy is less than 600 miles from Iran.
the MEGA EMBASSY is in Bagdaddy
embasies be like US territory

thus it "could" hit the US from Iran.

it could also fart rainbows.
 
2012-07-17 12:49:07 AM
I wouldn't believe Iran had a missile that could reach the US even AFTER it hit the ground.
 
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