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(Topless Robot)   The five best and five worst stories from Marvel's line of Star Wars comic books. Shockingly, the bad stories weren't written by George Lucas   (toplessrobot.com) divider line 29
    More: Spiffy, Marvel Star Wars, George Lucas, Deep Space Network, Expanded Universe, Attack of the Clones, Imperials, self-hatreds, carbonite  
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3866 clicks; posted to Geek » on 16 Jul 2012 at 10:33 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-16 10:35:45 AM  
They will be, subby.

They.. will... be.
 
2012-07-16 10:52:24 AM  
Okay, why wouldn't the Rebel Alliance have someone in charge of their cash flow? B-Wings don't grow on trees, people!
 
2012-07-16 10:53:54 AM  
Then there was that time that Darth Vader tried to stop Princess Leia from getting a bank loan.

Holy shiat.

As impossible as it may seem, that's exactly what happens in this issue written by G.I. Joe scripter extraordinaire Larry Hama. Wanting the dough to finance a new fleet of X-wings, Leia and the Rebel Alliance's finance minister, because obviously they have one, travel to the banking planet of Aargau to get a loan. No matter how many times you re-read that previous sentence, it makes no sense.


Yet basing the entire prequels on a trade dispute somehow makes sense?
 
2012-07-16 10:57:27 AM  

Mad_Radhu: Okay, why wouldn't the Rebel Alliance have someone in charge of their cash flow? B-Wings don't grow on trees, people!



I seem to remember some book mentioning that Mon Mothma had a whole executive cabinet.
 
2012-07-16 10:59:55 AM  
Not suprised that Lucas didn't write the bad stories. He can do stories. However, he needs to be kept away from:

-Directing
-Script writing (have someone else adapt his material)
-Casting choices.
 
2012-07-16 11:06:17 AM  
Lumiya isn't THAT bad. She gets better in the later novels. She turns and trains Jacen Solo for chrissakes! She takes over the mantle of Dark (Lady) of the Sith in the Rule of Two tradition.

Until Luke cuts her down after she murdered his wife.
 
2012-07-16 11:35:06 AM  

Tax Boy: Then there was that time that Darth Vader tried to stop Princess Leia from getting a bank loan.


So, you could say he tried to...alter the deal?
 
2012-07-16 11:53:56 AM  

Burr: Tax Boy: Then there was that time that Darth Vader tried to stop Princess Leia from getting a bank loan.

So, you could say he tried to...alter the deal?


i35.tinypic.com
 
2012-07-16 11:54:00 AM  
no green rabbit? list fail

www.34thfighting.com
 
2012-07-16 12:09:31 PM  
I'm honestly surprised this didn't show up on both lists:

www.coverbrowser.com
 
2012-07-16 01:58:08 PM  

Tax Boy: Then there was that time that Darth Vader tried to stop Princess Leia from getting a bank loan.

Holy shiat.

As impossible as it may seem, that's exactly what happens in this issue written by G.I. Joe scripter extraordinaire Larry Hama. Wanting the dough to finance a new fleet of X-wings, Leia and the Rebel Alliance's finance minister, because obviously they have one, travel to the banking planet of Aargau to get a loan. No matter how many times you re-read that previous sentence, it makes no sense.

Yet basing the entire prequels on a trade dispute somehow makes sense?


That is a perfect handle for that post. Not having read the comic in question, i don't see anything inherently wrong with the premise, after all, the rebels need money from somewhere, and little true to life sorts of details can enhance a story. (Cobra Commander made money through multilevel marketing and all kinds of shady finances. Iirc, there was an episode of the Avengers tv show that revolved around the villanous organization bumping off retired agents to prevent paying out pensions.) Now, that green rabbit, however. Also, i have a soft spot and fuzzy memories of that comic, but iirc it had Luke and Vader faces off several times before the events of ANH. Surely that has to set off some nerdrage.
 
2012-07-16 02:31:14 PM  
Yeah subby, but neither were the good ones (not without some serious adult supervision, at least). Lucas is a good idea man, but beyond that he's basically useless.
 
2012-07-16 02:42:19 PM  

lisarenee3505: Lucas is a good idea man


upload.wikimedia.org

Fortunately, however, clearer heads prevailed, and they scrapped the movie in pre-production.

/at least in my reality
 
2012-07-16 04:03:38 PM  

SithLord: Until Luke cuts her down after she murdered his wife.


Jacen killed Mara
 
2012-07-16 04:06:08 PM  

UNC_Samurai: I'm honestly surprised this didn't show up on both lists:


That was dark horse. But you shut your whore mouth. The tales of the jedi were fantastic
 
2012-07-16 04:14:47 PM  
So who did the Christmas special and Kingdom of the Crystal skull?
 
2012-07-16 07:13:09 PM  
Unfortunately, a lot of the earlier issues were illustrated by Carmine Infantino, who couldn't draw for shiat.

Valance was the best non-movie character of the run.

Whatever your opinion of 'Jawas of Doom', it had the sweetest cover of the whole run.
 
2012-07-16 07:16:10 PM  
I read some of these as a kid but this one was the only one that made a real impact.
 
2012-07-16 07:21:44 PM  

Le Grand Inquisitor: UNC_Samurai: I'm honestly surprised this didn't show up on both lists:

That was dark horse. But you shut your whore mouth. The tales of the jedi were fantastic


I loved the KOTOR comics, but I can see how a critic could complain about DE or DE II. It introduced the idea of emperor clones, and if people can biatch about Joruus C'Baoth and Ysalmiri and how Zahn's Thrawn Trilogy isn't that good, then they could obviously complain about the DE comics.
 
2012-07-16 07:57:58 PM  

RyansPrivates: Not suprised that Lucas didn't write the bad stories. He can do stories. However, he needs to be kept away from:

-Directing
-Script writing (have someone else adapt his material)
-Casting choices.


you forgot dialogue.
 
2012-07-16 07:58:56 PM  

texdent: SithLord: Until Luke cuts her down after she murdered his wife.

Jacen killed Mara


Meh. Oh well, didn't have time to read them. I could've sworn it had been Lumiya. Would make more sense with Luke / Lumiya's duel. I did know that Jaina killed her brother.
 
2012-07-16 08:03:37 PM  

Digitalstrange: RyansPrivates: Not suprised that Lucas didn't write the bad stories. He can do stories. However, he needs to be kept away from:

-Directing
-Script writing (have someone else adapt his material)
-Casting choices.

you forgot dialogue.


True enough....his abysmal level of dialogue deserves a circle of hell unto itself.
 
2012-07-16 08:57:33 PM  
I very vaguely remember one storyline, fairly early on, that involved a stolen battlecruiser and a very hot redhead. I think her name was Jolli?
 
2012-07-16 11:06:53 PM  

RyansPrivates: Digitalstrange: RyansPrivates: Not suprised that Lucas didn't write the bad stories. He can do stories. However, he needs to be kept away from:

-Directing
-Script writing (have someone else adapt his material)
-Casting choices.

you forgot dialogue.

True enough....his abysmal level of dialogue deserves a circle of hell unto itself.


I'm sorry, but he should have won an OSCAR for the single line: Hold me like you did by the lake on Naboo.
 
2012-07-16 11:53:52 PM  

UNC_Samurai: Le Grand Inquisitor: UNC_Samurai: I'm honestly surprised this didn't show up on both lists:

That was dark horse. But you shut your whore mouth. The tales of the jedi were fantastic

I loved the KOTOR comics, but I can see how a critic could complain about DE or DE II. It introduced the idea of emperor clones, and if people can biatch about Joruus C'Baoth and Ysalmiri and how Zahn's Thrawn Trilogy isn't that good, then they could obviously complain about the DE comics.


Dark Empire seemed good enough in the dark drought of Star Wars, where fans had to grab every scrap tossed to us while Trek fans were getting movies.

Granted, the West End Games roleplaying supplements were great.
 
2012-07-17 01:55:39 AM  

AaronSynn: Unfortunately, a lot of the earlier issues were illustrated by Carmine Infantino, who couldn't draw for shiat.

Valance was the best non-movie character of the run.

Whatever your opinion of 'Jawas of Doom', it had the sweetest cover of the whole run.


King-Size Annual #1 "The Long Hunt!" is gonna have to disagree with you.
 
2012-07-17 11:18:51 AM  

Tax Boy: travel to the banking planet of Aargau to get a loan


There it is again. A planet that only has one thing. Forrest planet, ice planet, water planet, desert planet. Getting groceries must be a PITA in that universe. Swing by the bread planet, then the butcher planet to pick up some steaks, then the dairy planet, etc.
 
2012-07-17 11:23:57 AM  

jbtilley: Tax Boy: travel to the banking planet of Aargau to get a loan

There it is again. A planet that only has one thing. Forrest planet, ice planet, water planet, desert planet. Getting groceries must be a PITA in that universe. Swing by the bread planet, then the butcher planet to pick up some steaks, then the dairy planet, etc.


No, see, they'd just go to the grocery planet, Walmartia 3.
 
2012-07-18 10:28:09 PM  

Tax Boy: lisarenee3505: Lucas is a good idea man

upload.wikimedia.org

Fortunately, however, clearer heads prevailed, and they scrapped the movie in pre-production.

/at least in my reality

===============================

Hahaha, good call. If you watch any of the "behind the scenes" interviews with Spielberg (the most telling clips are also in the Plinket reviews of the Star Wars prequels), it's pretty obvious that he thought the whole thing was absolutely ridiculous, and he seems to actually regard Lucas as little more than a monkey throwing poo at a wall & calling it a storyboard. I think this whole movie was the product of Lucas finally having significantly more money (thus power) than Spielberg, so Steven just said "fark it, let him run with whatever crap he wants 'cause I've been done with the Indy franchise for years."
 
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