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(Chicago Trib)   Hahaha I can't believe they fell for my story proposal, said the writer   (chicagotribune.com) divider line 47
    More: Spiffy, Honolulu, Waikiki, street performer, local knowledge, USS Arizona, police procedurals, largest island, conservation areas  
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15670 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Jul 2012 at 10:11 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



47 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-07-16 12:19:16 AM
Story neglects insights into drunken debauchery. Don't read it.
 
2012-07-16 10:13:09 AM
Next story proposal: Guide to Amsterdam's most popular tourist attractions.
 
2012-07-16 10:14:47 AM
Next story, "Two chicks at the same time"
 
2012-07-16 10:17:44 AM
Honolulu is so gross.
 
2012-07-16 10:18:34 AM
"6:00 p.m. - Most major hotel chains, including Marriott, Sheraton and Hilton, have several locations in and around the city, including Waikiki Beach."

You have got to be kidding me.
 
2012-07-16 10:21:49 AM
This is basically filler material for when someone misses a deadline. I wonder if old newspaper people don't realize that if you neglect to run a story on a website, there's not a long strip of white newsprint to tell everyone something went wrong. You just don't make the html page.
 
2012-07-16 10:22:10 AM
Ric Romero's writing about his vacation now?
 
2012-07-16 10:23:06 AM
SUNDAY

6:00 a.m. - Take a hike up...


Fark that.
 
2012-07-16 10:24:49 AM
You think that's bad, they sent noted hack and Royko-wanna-be-but-isn't-fit-to-carry-Royko's-jockstrap John Kass to Greece not so much to report on the financial crisis but on -- Well, I'm still trying to figure out what the hell he was trying to report on.

For optimum entertainment, watch Kass's opinion videos on the Trib site. They're masterpieces of illiteracy. It's like watching a raccoon talk about nuclear physics.
 
2012-07-16 10:26:25 AM
Next story "Is leaving work early for Happy Hour REALLY worth it?"
 
2012-07-16 10:28:18 AM
Writers are now paying themselves to write.
Good to know.

/I guess that's what happens when you can't find a job.
 
2012-07-16 10:28:30 AM
He should have pitched for Maui or Lanai.
 
2012-07-16 10:29:14 AM
I am familiar with the areas of Hawaii he visited and I gotta tell him..."SLOW DOWN". You're trying to do too much too fast. It's a vacation.
 
2012-07-16 10:30:56 AM
That was like a bad travel e-mail from my parents
 
2012-07-16 10:32:08 AM

Optimus Primate: "6:00 p.m. - Most major hotel chains, including Marriott, Sheraton and Hilton, have several locations in and around the city, including Waikiki Beach."

You have got to be kidding me.


I had no idea they had hotels in Hawaii. Is this a major tourist destination?
 
2012-07-16 10:32:47 AM
And his to-do list fails without referencing Kelly O'Neils.
 
2012-07-16 10:33:47 AM

Optimus Primate: "6:00 p.m. - Most major hotel chains, including Marriott, Sheraton and Hilton, have several locations in and around the city, including Waikiki Beach."

You have got to be kidding me.


couldn't read past that. Glad to know that this is just some filler garbage.
 
2012-07-16 10:34:56 AM

theorellior: This is basically filler material for when someone misses a deadline. I wonder if old newspaper people don't realize that if you neglect to run a story on a website, there's not a long strip of white newsprint to tell everyone something went wrong. You just don't make the html page.


When I worked in editorial, I used to call it the stuff that fills in the space around the ads.
 
2012-07-16 10:35:05 AM
Friday
6pm: Get in. Pick up leis at airport. Drink at airport.
7pm: Dinner and drinks.
9pm: F*ck I'm tired and jet lag. Go to hotel. Sleep.

Saturday
5am: Wake up, go to beach, start drinking.
12pm: Drinks near beach
1pm-5pm: Beach, sun, drinking, fark yeah.
5pm: dinner and drinks
7pm: hookers
9pm: still not over jet lag. Kick out hookers, pass out in bed.

Sunday
5am: Wake up, go to beach, start drinking.
12pm: Drinks near beach
1pm-5pm: Beach, sun, drinking, fark yeah.
5pm airport. Aloha.
 
2012-07-16 10:38:35 AM
Plus, the writing was so powerful it took two editors to beat it into submission:
"(Editing by Patricia Reaney and Kenneth Barry)"

/Bet they have masters degrees from Medill and Syracuse.
//Zorianna Kit is a lady, dudes.
 
2012-07-16 10:42:45 AM
Hey, boss...I have a great idea for a story.....

www.realdoll.com
 
2012-07-16 10:48:47 AM

HotIgneous Intruder: When I worked in editorial, I used to call it the stuff that fills in the space around the ads.


But how would the advertisers feel with having this dreck associated with their ads?
 
2012-07-16 10:54:29 AM
Setting aside for the moment that the article was complete crap - It's just sad that he never even left Honolulu. I suppose that's standard tourist behavior though...
I lived on Oahu for three years back in the 90s, and the best the island has to offer can be found on the North and West shores. Some of the most beautiful scenery and the nicest people you'll ever meet.
 
2012-07-16 10:59:29 AM

theorellior: HotIgneous Intruder: When I worked in editorial, I used to call it the stuff that fills in the space around the ads.

But how would the advertisers feel with having this dreck associated with their ads?


you made me laugh, thanks!
 
2012-07-16 11:02:53 AM
And newspapers wonder why their readership is down.
"Let me just write an article about doing something 99% of the working population in this country could never do."
 
2012-07-16 11:11:42 AM
Nice try rewriting history but you failed. Clinton is Americas first black president. obama is Americas first GAY president. Stupid newsie!
 
2012-07-16 11:26:06 AM
2:00 pm - No visit to Hawaii would be complete without a solemn stop at the USS Arizona Memorial at Pearl Harbor. While there, check out the USS Missouri, also known as The Mighty Mo, which plays an important part in the grand finale of this summer's action film "Battleship," which was shot on the island.

Translation: "We ran out of things to do and had a couple of hours to kill before our flight. Also, I know nothing about history and I am a shill for Universal Pictures."
 
2012-07-16 11:28:08 AM

Harvey Manfrenjensenjen: Also, I know nothing about history and I am a shill for Universal Pictures.


Hey, when the wire service is paying for your vacation, you might as well go whole hog and get a movie studio to provide some spending money.
 
2012-07-16 11:29:22 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2012-07-16 11:30:15 AM
Yeah right. Like the Tribune still sends reporters places and provides them with an expense account. Did subby read the part where it said "Reuters correspondents with local knowledge"? That means some stringers who live in Hawaii and probably looked all this stuff up online the same way you or I would.
 
2012-07-16 11:33:17 AM

HotIgneous Intruder: Plus, the writing was so powerful it took two editors to beat it into submission:
"(Editing by Patricia Reaney and Kenneth Barry)"

/Bet they have masters degrees from Medill and Syracuse.
//Zorianna Kit is a lady, dudes.


To be fair, at least they caught the original opening before the article posted:

"Webster's Dictionary defines Hawai'i as...".
 
2012-07-16 12:05:35 PM

BalugaJoe: Honolulu is so gross.


I lived in Honolulu for 15 years and loved it. I would never go back as a tourist, but I would class it as one of the world's greatest cities to live in. You just need to know your way around, and have some money.
 
2012-07-16 12:22:39 PM
Loved Maui, was not a fan of Honolulu. Two totally different worlds.
 
2012-07-16 12:37:38 PM
Was in Hawaii a few months ago for 3 weeks vacation. Went to Kauai, Maui, Oaho and the Big Island...
Its a different world...
 
2012-07-16 12:40:17 PM

Harvey Manfrenjensenjen:

/Bet they have masters degrees from Medill and Syracuse.


OUCH! Medill '93 grad here. Don't be mean. Haven't we suffered enough? There were actually a lot of smart, talented people at Medill when I was a student, and there was a time when there were good jobs for them. Too bad the leveraged-buyout kings gutted what was left of newspapers and filled their pages with crap for a fraction of the cost of real journalism. It's not a sustainable business model, however. Obviously.
 
2012-07-16 12:46:24 PM

Nightsweat: You think that's bad, they sent noted hack and Royko-wanna-be-but-isn't-fit-to-carry-Royko's-jockstrap John Kass to Greece not so much to report on the financial crisis but on -- Well, I'm still trying to figure out what the hell he was trying to report on.

For optimum entertainment, watch Kass's opinion videos on the Trib site. They're masterpieces of illiteracy. It's like watching a raccoon talk about nuclear physics.


Oh man, watching that raccoon try to open a plutonium 'egg' by smashing it against a rock was priceless. For those of you who haven't seen it, I won't ruin it for you...but let's just say that raccoon has a bright future in front of him. Very bright, and very short.
 
2012-07-16 12:49:22 PM
I notice that they call Obama Hawaii's most famous resident, but conspicuously exclude "native-born" in the description. What are they covering up?
 
2012-07-16 12:50:26 PM
Wow, the intro to that article reads like a 9th grader wrote it for a school report. Didn't get any farther than that, I've got a short attenti...oh something shiny!
 
2012-07-16 01:04:19 PM

DmGdDawg: Hey, boss...I have a great idea for a story.....

[www.realdoll.com image 384x760]


"I'm waiting for you Kwame"
 
2012-07-16 01:08:32 PM
This headline really deserved a Tom Swiftie, subby
 
2012-07-16 01:24:17 PM

superdude72: Harvey Manfrenjensenjen:

/Bet they have masters degrees from Medill and Syracuse.


OUCH! Medill '93 grad here. Don't be mean. Haven't we suffered enough? There were actually a lot of smart, talented people at Medill when I was a student, and there was a time when there were good jobs for them. Too bad the leveraged-buyout kings gutted what was left of newspapers and filled their pages with crap for a fraction of the cost of real journalism. It's not a sustainable business model, however. Obviously.


But at least you picked up the journalistic tradition of misattributing quotes.

/Don't worry, it happens to everyone.
//Not really.
 
2012-07-16 04:20:40 PM

trappedspirit: Next story, "Two chicks at the same time"


Over-rated.

Won't say what happened, or I'll get a CSB. But... overrated.
 
2012-07-16 04:30:22 PM

abfalter: trappedspirit: Next story, "Two chicks at the same time"

Over-rated.

Won't say what happened, or I'll get a CSB. But... overrated.



^This, one of them is invariably more interested in the other than you and the one that's interested in you really isn't.
 
2012-07-16 06:06:05 PM
Okay. I see a lot of people ripping this article for good reason, but since I am going to Honolulu to view of orchid shipments, I need thing to do, and by do I mean eat.

Anyone who has lived there got any good fark-worthy recommendations?
-I've been snorkeling and SCUBA diving before numerous times so I have no real need to do that.

-I don't drink. Broke my hands too many times when I was in college.

-I love food, have a Flash-like metabolism, and money is no object if the experience is worth it.

The article mentions Alan Wong's an Ono Hawaiian Foods. Anyone have any first hand experience?
Hows the zoo? I've done the Santa Barbara and LA zoo to death. Is the Honolulu one better or just another zoo?
As a history buff, is Pearl Harbor worth is? Or is it like looking at a big military ship in the water, i.e. San Diego?
 
2012-07-16 06:27:08 PM
Can't speak to Honolulu, but the best place I ate on Kauai was actually the Dairy Queen... but then again, I want LOCAL food, and that place had it... I sat among the real, working class native islanders, and just said "i want what he's having". It was tasty, filling and interesting, and it wasn't all amped up with crud that the touristy crowd "thinks" is going native and that no native islander would touch with a stick.

As much as I love zoos, I can't imagine that a zoo would be my top destination in Hawaii... Granted, the scenery around the animals would be better than the Wichita zoo, for example, but... just go to a national park or hike on a beach trail or something. To me, a tiger in a zoo in San Diego is very much like a tiger in a zoo in Indianapolis, etc..

And yes, if you are a history buff, you should go to the USS Arizona memorial. It will give you a memory or ten to carry for years.
 
2012-07-16 06:55:21 PM

Optimus Primate: "6:00 p.m. - Most major hotel chains, including Marriott, Sheraton and Hilton, have several locations in and around the city, including Waikiki Beach."

You have got to be kidding me.


i.imgur.com

Guess who's ghostwriting travel stories?
 
2012-07-17 05:07:04 AM
Alan Wong's is overrated, Mavro's is the best fine dining restaurant on the island. Ono Hawaiian Foods is good, but the best place for Hawaiian food is a restaurant called Helena's. The zoo is a zoo and like most Hawaii residents, I haven't been to Pearl Harbor since a school field trip more than 20 years ago so I don't remember much. Polynesian Cultural Center can be a fun, but pricey attraction. It's like Epcot Center with just polynesian cultures.
 
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