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(Daily Mail)   You, too, can kill your lawn with just one application of Acme weed AND grass killer   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 74
    More: Dumbass, Acme, IQ tests, Lake Elmo, Olympic Park, Cystic Fibrosis Foundation  
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16863 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Jul 2012 at 2:12 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-07-15 10:56:06 PM
8 votes:
img829.imageshack.us
2012-07-15 10:48:15 PM
7 votes:

Ambivalence: dopeydwarf: FTA: 'I think the packaging should say right on it, this will kill your lawn,' said Olson.

Did you miss the part where it reads "Weed & Grass" control, dumbass?

They showed a picture of the bottle, and I did a google image search, it doesn't say "weed and grass" it presents itself as a pre-emergent and post-emergent weedkiller, but doesn't mention grass on the bottle. But yah most of the time it'll say "Weed&Grass" killer on the packaging.


what internet are you using?

farm8.staticflickr.com
2012-07-15 10:19:07 PM
6 votes:
FTA: 'I think the packaging should say right on it, this will kill your lawn,' said Olson.

Did you miss the part where it reads "Weed & Grass" control, dumbass?
2012-07-16 02:24:45 AM
5 votes:
I have to say, with a house that could easily fit mine inside about four or five times, I'm having a really hard time giving a shiat.

Nice pool, too.

i391.photobucket.com

i391.photobucket.com
2012-07-16 05:05:41 AM
4 votes:
My sympathy meter reads zero here. First off read the damn label. They make all kinds of *killer products from the kind that kill only a few types of plants to ones that'll kill basically anything living. Buy the correct ones for the job you want. This is the kind of thing you use on cobble stone or the like to keep shiat out of it (grass likes to grow in the cracks form time to time).

Second, with anything you get the first time, you test that shiat. You don't start by applying it to everything, you test it on a small patch and see what happens. You do that with cleaners, paint, weed killer, whatever. Test first, if test is good, then go full bore.

Third, quit being lazy. You don't spray weed killer on the whole farking lawn. That is stupid and wasteful. You go around and spray the weeds. Or at least that's what I did when I was a kid (now I simply don't have a lawn). My dad would have been rather pissed has I just gone apeshiat and sprayed the whole lawn. Had he done that, he'd have brown patches, not a massive dead lawn.

Guy is just a lazy asshat, too lazy to read, to lazy to do it right, and now wants to blame someone else. STFU dude and learn your lesson for next time.
2012-07-16 04:31:21 AM
4 votes:
How did this guy ever get to the point where he could afford a house with a lawn?
2012-07-16 03:49:46 AM
4 votes:
Good. The whole "destroy all native plants and cut grass so short it feels like a mini-golf course" thing deserves punishment.
2012-07-16 01:55:45 AM
4 votes:
He has a large house. Some people might call it a mansion, and yet he couldn't hire a farking landscaping company to spray for weeds? Cheap bastard people problems.
2012-07-16 12:58:00 AM
4 votes:

unyon: haemaker: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x354]

YOU MISSED A SPOT!

Came here for this, leaving satisfied.


Me too. Obviously, the ability to pay attention to detail eludes this chap.
2012-07-15 10:38:37 PM
4 votes:

Ambivalence: it presents itself as a pre-emergent and post-emergent weedkiller, but doesn't mention grass on the bottle.


If you use poison on your lawn, expect it to die.

It's that simple. It should be illegal to make weed killer that DOESN'T also destroy lawns. Y'know, like how they denatured industrial ethanol to keep people from drinking it in the prohibition era? Jackasses like this guy are ruining the environment just as much as big companies like BP, just at the local level.
2012-07-16 06:05:02 AM
3 votes:

BeSerious: Does anyone see any weeds on that lawn? Or even dead weeds? It all looks like grass to me..

/hires professionals.


This - how many farking weeds did he have that he needed five full bottles of killer?

Still boggling over how he didn't get that "pre-emergent and post-emergent weed and grass killer" meant it kills EVERYTHING.

And six months before he can reseed? The runoff from that yard is going to be spectacular. I feel for his neighbors.
2012-07-16 04:32:39 AM
3 votes:
Um, Why does this article just throw in that his children have medical conditions?

The article is about his inability to read directions, not his children. It's like he did it on purpose so he didn't have to fund the charity this year.
2012-07-16 03:05:40 AM
3 votes:
I have tons of weeds in my lawn. Probably 60% clover. Keep it cut short, it's all green to me.
2012-07-16 02:56:01 AM
3 votes:
As we say in agriculture, RTFLabel.

It's pretty clear that it kills grass, and if you don't know by the "weed and grass killer" on the label, you can always Google the active ingredient and find out that glyphosate (patented as RoundUp but >17 years old now) kills any plant trying to grow.

What this wanker was looking for is 2,4-D for broadleaf weed control without killing grass but with polluting surface water anywhere near his yard (vs. glyphosate which does nothing once it hits the soil). Too bad he can't read English. Maybe he's learned his lesson now. Asshat.
2012-07-16 02:34:15 AM
3 votes:
He has bigger things to worry about. His kids won't live past 25.
2012-07-16 02:28:37 AM
3 votes:
he is stupid. feel sorry for his kids though.
2012-07-16 12:03:14 AM
3 votes:

haemaker: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x354]

YOU MISSED A SPOT!


Came here for this, leaving satisfied.
2012-07-15 11:46:28 PM
3 votes:
i.dailymail.co.uk

YOU MISSED A SPOT!
2012-07-15 10:34:46 PM
3 votes:
And because the grass will now turn to mud, Olson can not throw the annual fundraiser he organises for the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation for which he raised $20,000 last year.



Yes he can. It's called plywood. Not like you're gonna kill your lawn, dude. set up some walkways and whatnot. I'm sure for charity some people will let you have enough wood for a tent floor and some walkways.
2012-07-16 09:07:11 AM
2 votes:

CrotchBeard: unyon: haemaker: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x354]

YOU MISSED A SPOT!

Came here for this, leaving satisfied.

Me too. Obviously, the ability to pay attention to detail eludes this chap.


Exactly. And If he actually had purchased something the kills only weeds, he would see big swaths of lawn in which the weeds were still alive and go back to the store demanding to know why his weed killer didn't work like it was supposed to. This is the kind of person that made working retail a nightmare. He's a farking retard but that's beside the point. Everything is always anyone's fault but his and he demands compensation!
2012-07-16 06:44:34 AM
2 votes:

Dingo7734: on the label: Active Ingredients: glyphosate.

That is RoundUp. Non selective herbcide which means it kills everything! pre-emergent and post emergent pretty much sums it up.


THIS. The more you know......and this clown didn't know what he was doing, didn't read the label, and now, to compound his stupidity, he wants the store or the manufacturer to take the blame. And then there's the Daily Fail, cooking up a goofy "looka me, I'm a victim because my two disabled kids can't go the party" story. All of the above: STFU.
2012-07-16 06:37:03 AM
2 votes:

zomega: BeSerious: Does anyone see any weeds on that lawn? Or even dead weeds? It all looks like grass to me..

/hires professionals.

This - how many farking weeds did he have that he needed five full bottles of killer?

Still boggling over how he didn't get that "pre-emergent and post-emergent weed and grass killer" meant it kills EVERYTHING.

And six months before he can reseed? The runoff from that yard is going to be spectacular. I feel for his neighbors.


I bet his neighbors could sue him once the poison runs onto their lawns. Asshats who want 'perfect' lawns really don't understand that even with Roundup you're killing the soil.

Good on Ontario for banning that crap.
2012-07-16 06:36:03 AM
2 votes:
on the label: Active Ingredients: glyphosate.

That is RoundUp. Non selective herbcide which means it kills everything! pre-emergent and post emergent pretty much sums it up.
2012-07-16 06:26:05 AM
2 votes:
Whenever I read a tale of hilarious misfortune like this, I always try to picture the moment they realized the consequences of their own stupidity.
When I do, The Price is Right fail-trombone always plays in the back of my head; there is nothing that makes schadenfreude funnier than that sound.
*Bum-bum-babummmm* *Waaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh*
2012-07-16 06:15:47 AM
2 votes:
that sob's out building by the pool is larger than my house. fark him and his lawn.
2012-07-16 05:52:42 AM
2 votes:
I have absolutely no sympathy for any dumbass who doesn't read the directions on any product. I find cases such as this hilarious. What an idiot.
2012-07-16 05:23:40 AM
2 votes:
Does anyone see any weeds on that lawn? Or even dead weeds? It all looks like grass to me..

/hires professionals.
2012-07-16 04:16:06 AM
2 votes:
Sad part is, he didn't even do a thorough job.

/double the fail.
2012-07-16 04:01:10 AM
2 votes:
dnra

So this dipshiat killed all the grass in his lawn and then called the press to come out and take lots of pics to publicly show everyone that picks up the paper that he is a dipshiat?

Got it
2012-07-16 03:55:07 AM
2 votes:
Ha Ha.

All anal retentive lawn Nazis deserve this fate.
2012-07-16 03:02:25 AM
2 votes:
TFA: A once green fingered Minnesota man

Yeah, I might be doubting this a little bit. Around your second season of lawn care you learn to read the full lable. By the time anyone at all calls you green-thumbed (or fingered) you are reading the specific chemicals in the mix and doing pounds per acre calculations in your head.
2012-07-16 02:48:12 AM
2 votes:

Piestar: With this press, he'll raise even more money for his charity without even having to throw the party.


Be a good gimmick to keep up. New person puts their lawn on the line each year. If we raise x amount they have to kill it.
2012-07-16 02:38:46 AM
2 votes:

StopLurkListen: Mark Ratner: He has a large house. Some people might call it a mansion, and yet he couldn't hire a farking landscaping company to spray for weeds? Cheap bastard people problems.

If that's a mansion, I'll be satisfied with my dump.


I said "some people" might consider it a mansion. He has a large house, a huge lot and a pool...these things cost money to maintain. He was stupid and cheap for not hiring a reputable company to do it.
2012-07-16 02:28:47 AM
2 votes:
I had an eldery neighbor almost do the same thing a few years ago. Luckily I caught it, showed her the mistake and offered to go ahead and fertilize her lawn when I did mine since I always have extra leftover.
2012-07-16 02:21:32 AM
2 votes:
weeds schweeds. when the city took photos and said I had an eyesore nuisance I told 'em it was the state flower of nebraska so what the fark was wrong with that?

haven't heard from them since.
2012-07-16 02:01:29 PM
1 votes:
haha. I always say I like gardening or that I worked in my garden on the weekend so people are always asking me for grass advice. Usually it is 'Uh, I used weed killer and my grass is dead, what do I do?' or 'What do you use to kill weeds?'

Nobody likes my answers:
1. If you killed your grass you have to replant it, duh. If don't replant it weeds are just going to grow there.

2. In the fall or in the spring (BEFORE WEEDS COME UP) use pre-emergent weed killer. It will cut way down on the weeds and not kill your grass.

3. I pull the rest of the weeds by hand and focus on keeping my lawn healthy so that weeds can't grow. Probably wouldn't work if I had a gigantic lawn, but then again if I had a gigantic lawn I would let part of it be 'wildflowers' or add landscaping to cut down on the amount of lawn.

But no, nobody wants to plan ahead or do an hour of work to keep their lawn healthy- they just want to point something and spray it.

Also it is a million times easier to landscape a big area and not have to mow/weed your grass. But people think that it is more work...
2012-07-16 12:40:51 PM
1 votes:
So much fail. Wonder if the jackass realizes his two kids probably have the chemical weed killer industry to thank for their condition too.

Rich people problems indeed. If you own thousands of square feet of lawn, no tear shed for your screwups.
2012-07-16 10:46:16 AM
1 votes:

Mark Ratner: He has a large house. Some people might call it a mansion, and yet he couldn't hire a farking landscaping company to spray for weeds? Cheap bastard people problems.


Yeah, but he lives way out in the sticks. Anyone can get a large house in the sticks.
2012-07-16 10:42:54 AM
1 votes:

Ashtrey: Look at the label, it says glysophate is the active ingredient. That means it was off-brand RoundUp. But I don't see how 3 gardening professionals could make that mistake. They should be fired.


This whole thing strikes me as being some sort of scam. Not sure what the guys angle is but something just isn't right.
2012-07-16 10:33:16 AM
1 votes:

djh0101010: Ashtrey: Look at the label, it says glysophate is the active ingredient. That means it was off-brand RoundUp. But I don't see how 3 gardening professionals could make that mistake. They should be fired.

Why yes, I am a gardening professional.

They weren't gardening professionals, they were kids working summer jobs at the hardware store that wandered into the lawn products aisle.

(Who needs 3 people to mis-read a label for them? Probably means that 3 people tried to warn him he was about to do it wrong.)


Maybe. Everywhere I've worked the summer kids never answer chemical questions. They just get a panicked look on their faces and call me.
2012-07-16 10:30:09 AM
1 votes:

tweek46420: tweek46420: Spongebob Plaid Pants: Must be late, all these comments and nobody commented on 40,000 square feet and a 2.5 acre lawn? Last I checked an acre was 43,560 square feet.
/Why, yes, I am a land surveyor
house is 40,000 square feet and lot is 2.5 acres maybe?
yeah....scratch that, i can read really


I think you had it right the begin with. The only way that house has 40,000 sq ft is if it had 10 - 20 subterranean levels. / which would be cool/ I'm thinking 3,000 - 5,000sq ft tops.
2012-07-16 10:27:34 AM
1 votes:
I found his problem.

bmadore.squarespace.com
2012-07-16 09:45:05 AM
1 votes:
www.ihatebillboards.com
2012-07-16 09:43:48 AM
1 votes:

Ashtrey: Look at the label, it says glysophate is the active ingredient. That means it was off-brand RoundUp. But I don't see how 3 gardening professionals could make that mistake. They should be fired.

Why yes, I am a gardening professional.


They weren't gardening professionals, they were kids working summer jobs at the hardware store that wandered into the lawn products aisle.

(Who needs 3 people to mis-read a label for them? Probably means that 3 people tried to warn him he was about to do it wrong.)
2012-07-16 09:42:04 AM
1 votes:
"weed and grass control" doesn't really explain it's going to kill everything. It just says it's going to control it. One might interpret that to mean it's going to control one by removing it and control the other by protecting it. A bit ambiguous.

I don't see why someone with a large lawn must hire out his lawn service. Maybe he has a nice lawn because he's good at saving his money and does his work himself? He did ask three people about this, after all. It's not like he just grabbed something out of ignorance.
2012-07-16 09:35:21 AM
1 votes:
So this idiot spent all his money on his house and GIANT freaking yard but can't afford a professional? Maybe cut back on the size of your McMansion next time, dummy.
2012-07-16 09:34:44 AM
1 votes:
img155.imageshack.us
Address all complaints to the Monsanto corporation.
2012-07-16 09:31:57 AM
1 votes:
How does this make news?

Don't need plywood. Use tarps made in China.
Plywood isn't cheap. And the cheap stuff like OSB can get huge splinters from.

Bright side: This guy doesn't have to mow because I'm sure he does it with a nice mower and doesn't hire it out -much like the weed killing job
2012-07-16 09:31:18 AM
1 votes:
Look at the label, it says glysophate is the active ingredient. That means it was off-brand RoundUp. But I don't see how 3 gardening professionals could make that mistake. They should be fired.

Why yes, I am a gardening professional.
2012-07-16 09:28:41 AM
1 votes:

GBB: With 2 kids with CF, makes me wonder what he puts on his dick.


I question the common sense of anyone spraying that much chemical near kids that are sick.
2012-07-16 09:27:27 AM
1 votes:
I have to admit I might have missed the "and grass" part on that label too. It's labeled like "WEED KILLER & grass".
2012-07-16 09:05:07 AM
1 votes:

airplayne: What slays me, and I am a bit surprised that noone has noticed it yet, is that each bag makes enough of the solution to cover a little over 10,000 sq feet. If he had 40,000 sq feet to cover he would have had to buy and prepare 4 BAGS of the stuff! You would think he would have noticed something hinky going on after applying the first bag.


i0.kym-cdn.com
That's not how weed killer works!
2012-07-16 09:03:48 AM
1 votes:
Roundup (glyphosate) is not a long lasting weed killer. If he applied it properly (not too much) he can simply cut this dead sod up and put new sod down.

How much you want to bet he also over applied it?


/Dumbass is dumb
2012-07-16 08:58:49 AM
1 votes:
What slays me, and I am a bit surprised that noone has noticed it yet, is that each bag makes enough of the solution to cover a little over 10,000 sq feet. If he had 40,000 sq feet to cover he would have had to buy and prepare 4 BAGS of the stuff! You would think he would have noticed something hinky going on after applying the first bag.
2012-07-16 08:58:17 AM
1 votes:
How did somebody this stupid get a house like that? Double the stupid because he is whining to the media about how he was duped.
And yeah, he missed several spots.
2012-07-16 08:51:31 AM
1 votes:
i46.tinypic.com
2012-07-16 08:49:41 AM
1 votes:

Axias: Who cares a about a lawn? Tear it up and re-sod: $1000.. He can afford it obviously.


He can't. He soaked the land in Roundup. He can't re-seed, he can't re-sod, he can't do anything until the stuff degrades or washes off (to the joy of his neighbors, no doubt) or otherwise gets out of there. And he's killed not just the lawn but the soil bacteria, the earthworms, and everything else that he doesn't see but his lawn depends on. He wanted a grass desert; he wound up with just a desert desert.

Well, except where he missed some.
2012-07-16 08:27:12 AM
1 votes:

dopeydwarf: FTA: 'I think the packaging should say right on it, this will kill your lawn,' said Olson.

Did you miss the part where it reads "Weed & Grass" control, dumbass?


Thank you.

Just another case of failing to follow the instructions, and then blaming somebody else for your own stupidity and incompetence.
2012-07-16 08:15:21 AM
1 votes:

Lee Jackson Beauregard: hbk72777: I have tons of weeds in my lawn. Probably 60% clover. Keep it cut short, it's all green to me.

Your nosy jackbooted HOA would like a word with you.


Except that not everyone has a HOA. When the distaffbopper and I were house-hunting years ago, that was one of our conditions: No HOA.

/Need to be able to put up antennas.
//It's a ham thing.
2012-07-16 07:28:48 AM
1 votes:
I thought rich people paid landscaping companies to care for their lawns. Evidently, that would certainly have been a better idea in this guy's case.

What a dumbass. I feel bad for his boys and his lawn.
2012-07-16 07:12:16 AM
1 votes:
Who cares a about a lawn? Tear it up and re-sod: $1000.. He can afford it obviously.

But the bigger problem is that this guy is a complete and total POS. He's got TWO CF kids. And in case you dont know, those kids will live about 30-35 years, with 10-15 of them in some kind of fkin painful therapy, followed by a gruesome death of slow suffocation.

There's a test for CF. you don't have a kid if YOU KNOW they are gonna have CF. NEVER MIND TWO.


Should be farking criminal, but zomg "Abortion is evil!" - Is it as evil bringing two seriously ill kids into the world to watch them suffer and die? .. "

/flame on
2012-07-16 06:04:27 AM
1 votes:
It says Active Ingredient: Glyphosate right on the front. Guess he's never bought Round-Up before.
Poe
2012-07-16 04:32:15 AM
1 votes:
The fact that it says weed and grass control, and pictures said weeds and grass growing out of a crack in concrete, should have been a tip-off. You want the stuff that only says "weed control," and has a picture of a nice, weed free lawn on the package.
2012-07-16 03:52:48 AM
1 votes:
> I have tons of weeds in my lawn. Probably 60% clover. Keep it cut short, it's all green to me.

That's a bad thing? The clover in my yard went nuts and would never grow taller than a few inches. One slope was covered in clover and strawberries. Strawberries never get over 1" off the ground. Plus we could have a 10 year drought and my lawn would still be green.

Let it go Au Naturale.

Or you could mow it twice a week, water it, weed it, then mow it because you just watered it.
2012-07-16 03:10:09 AM
1 votes:
I know someone who did buy the stuff that is supposed to kill the weeds and leave the grass alone, but didn't read the included booklet well enough.

Apparently, it becomes grass killer too if you spray it when the daytime temps get high enough.

You need to sit down and read the whole big ass booklet taped to the back of the bottle when you buy this stuff before you do anything else.
2012-07-16 03:07:04 AM
1 votes:
I have Zoysia grass and it looks like this half way through the season. So I'm getting...
2012-07-16 03:05:34 AM
1 votes:

Mark Ratner: StopLurkListen: Mark Ratner: He has a large house. Some people might call it a mansion, and yet he couldn't hire a farking landscaping company to spray for weeds? Cheap bastard people problems.

If that's a mansion, I'll be satisfied with my dump.

I said "some people" might consider it a mansion. He has a large house, a huge lot and a pool...these things cost money to maintain. He was stupid and cheap for not hiring a reputable company to do it.


I was editorializing on the architectural design of his monstrosity, not the size of the building or the acreage or the expense.

Some people have more money than taste. I have neither, so I'm comfortably living in the slow lane, never to be featured in any publication for any reason whatsoever...
2012-07-16 02:51:46 AM
1 votes:

Spongebob Plaid Pants: Must be late, all these comments and nobody commented on 40,000 square feet and a 2.5 acre lawn? Last I checked an acre was 43,560 square feet.

/Why, yes, I am a land surveyor


house is 40,000 square feet and lot is 2.5 acres maybe?
2012-07-16 02:36:57 AM
1 votes:
With this press, he'll raise even more money for his charity without even having to throw the party.
2012-07-16 02:26:49 AM
1 votes:

CrotchBeard: unyon: haemaker: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x354]

YOU MISSED A SPOT!

Came here for this, leaving satisfied.

Me too. Obviously, the ability to pay attention to detail eludes this chap.


Thirded. If you're going to murder your lawn at least do it right.
2012-07-16 02:25:57 AM
1 votes:

StopLurkListen: This is where I, whose lawn is a majority weed content, laughs uproariously.


Yep, the clover and moss is the only thing even kind of green here in the midwest =)
2012-07-16 02:18:33 AM
1 votes:
Uh... sadly, his lawn looks better than mine.
2012-07-16 01:03:56 AM
1 votes:
I think this stuff would be great on my rock bed where those damn dandelions and patches of grass keep coming up.
2012-07-15 10:31:37 PM
1 votes:
And he had three garden center "professionals" to help him read the label.
 
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