If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Examiner)   Surfer dies in 5th deadly West Australia shark attack in less than a year. EVERYBODY PANIC   (examiner.com) divider line 84
    More: Sad, Western Australia, The Australian  
•       •       •

5888 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Jul 2012 at 6:51 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



84 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-07-15 06:52:55 PM
Time for a Jaws reboot.
 
2012-07-15 06:55:04 PM
Yes. Kill the shark, that'll learn'em.

I'll never get eaten by a shark because I don't go in the ocean where there are farking sharks.
 
2012-07-15 06:55:04 PM
I read that as PICNIC, but I'm a shark....YMMV.
 
2012-07-15 06:55:37 PM
He survived 5 shark attacks? You'd think that after the 3d he'd consider moving.
 
2012-07-15 06:58:58 PM

Coffee Snob: Yes. Kill the shark, that'll learn'em.

I'll never get eaten by a shark because I don't go in the ocean where there are farking sharks.


mimg.ugo.com
 
2012-07-15 06:59:40 PM
where's West Australia? is that near Melbourne?
 
2012-07-15 07:00:45 PM
Know how to make sure you don't get attacked by a shark? STAY OUT OF THE FARKING OCEAN!!!

How stupid are people, really? It's like a white guy wearing a Rolex hanging out at the intersection of Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. and Malcom X Dr. in any major city... you know that chances are you're not walking out of there with your watch or your wallet... and probably your shoes too.
 
2012-07-15 07:03:41 PM
This makes me wonder if they're acquiring a taste for human flesh.

Normally they bite, realize it's not a seal and take off. Sounds like this one made a meal out of it (no disrespect intended).

If so it could make surfing in known shark areas much more exciting. Surfing could start siphoning off some of the NASCAR crowd.

\I know, aisle seat
 
2012-07-15 07:04:25 PM
Surfer dies in 5th deadly West Australia shark attack in less than a year. EVERYBODY PANIC

Indeed. Last time there was an abundance of shark attacks in the news, 9/11 happened soon after. Coincidence? I think not. Get prepared to panic, people.
 
2012-07-15 07:06:17 PM
Let's see.

Shark lives where he eats.

Man swims where he doesn't live.

Yeah. Nature wins this one on the "nature/nurture" argument.

/The swimmer was raised by yams or slime molds evidently
 
2012-07-15 07:07:25 PM
A shark spokesman defended the attack stating the surfer looked and tasted like a seal.

thebmoviebackstory.files.wordpress.com

Heidi Klum wasn't available to comment on how a seal tastes.

www.inquisitr.com
 
2012-07-15 07:07:38 PM
Bear encounters are on the rise in North America.

EVERYBODY PICNIC
 
2012-07-15 07:10:06 PM
That's what you get for being in a country where everything's trying to kill you.

/If you think you're safe there you're horribly horribly wrong
 
2012-07-15 07:10:37 PM
i367.photobucket.com
 
2012-07-15 07:12:14 PM
Look, shark attacks is low on the list of stuff that can kill in Australia.

The dropbear plauge is of more concern.

Those silent koala like killers are a threat to everyone.

I am hoping that the dropbears will deal with the hunters who have been given permission to hunt in National Parks. Becuase if there is one thing worse than dropbears it is Bogans with Guns
 
2012-07-15 07:12:19 PM

Jon iz teh kewl: where's West Australia? is that near Melbourne?


Close to France and Switzerland.
 
2012-07-15 07:14:34 PM

Kumana Wanalaia: Bear encounters are on the rise in North America.

EVERYBODY PIC-I-NIC


ftfy...
 
2012-07-15 07:14:59 PM
Friends are mourning the loss of their chum.

/somebody had to say it
 
2012-07-15 07:16:05 PM

The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: Jon iz teh kewl: where's West Australia? is that near Melbourne?

Close to France and Switzerland.


Not too far from Sydney:

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-07-15 07:16:58 PM

lisarenee3505: Know how to make sure you don't get attacked by a shark? STAY OUT OF THE FARKING OCEAN!!!

How stupid are people, really? It's like a white guy wearing a Rolex hanging out at the intersection of Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. and Malcom X Dr. in any major city... you know that chances are you're not walking out of there with your watch or your wallet... and probably your shoes too.


Your odds of being attacked by a shark are considerably worse than your odds of winning the lottery. You are much more likely to die in a car accident on the way to the beach than at the beach once you get there. I usually try to be at least minimally polite, but I'm sick and tired of ignorance so I'm going to be blunt: you're a goddamn idiot and you should feel bad.
 
2012-07-15 07:19:05 PM

malaktaus: lisarenee3505: Know how to make sure you don't get attacked by a shark? STAY OUT OF THE FARKING OCEAN!!!

How stupid are people, really? It's like a white guy wearing a Rolex hanging out at the intersection of Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. and Malcom X Dr. in any major city... you know that chances are you're not walking out of there with your watch or your wallet... and probably your shoes too.

Your odds of being attacked by a shark are considerably worse than your odds of winning the lottery. You are much more likely to die in a car accident on the way to the beach than at the beach once you get there. I usually try to be at least minimally polite, but I'm sick and tired of ignorance so I'm going to be blunt: you're a goddamn idiot and you should feel bad.


How about then we disregard the shark part of it and make it "any wildlife interaction in motherfarking Australia"?
 
2012-07-15 07:20:41 PM

malaktaus: lisarenee3505: Know how to make sure you don't get attacked by a shark? STAY OUT OF THE FARKING OCEAN!!!

How stupid are people, really? It's like a white guy wearing a Rolex hanging out at the intersection of Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. and Malcom X Dr. in any major city... you know that chances are you're not walking out of there with your watch or your wallet... and probably your shoes too.

Your odds of being attacked by a shark are considerably worse than your odds of winning the lottery. You are much more likely to die in a car accident on the way to the beach than at the beach once you get there. I usually try to be at least minimally polite, but I'm sick and tired of ignorance so I'm going to be blunt: you're a goddamn idiot and you should feel bad.


=====================================

Welcome to FARK dude. You might want to try getting a sense of humor if you want to have any hope of surviving here.
 
2012-07-15 07:21:57 PM
Why all the hatred towards sharks? Can't we just call this Intelligent Design and Evolution, shake hands and let the sharks have a free meal?
 
2012-07-15 07:22:02 PM
I guess the bed bug angle wasn't working for the news casters. I'm inland if I don't get a knock on my door from someone saying candy gram, I think I'll be alright.
 
2012-07-15 07:22:45 PM
MAYBE THE DINGO ATE YOUR SURFER.

No, it was probably the shark.
 
2012-07-15 07:23:53 PM

spyderqueen:

How about then we disregard the shark part of it and make it "any wildlife interaction in motherfarking Australia"?


How about we lock our doors and never emerge, instead having necessities delivered to us by robots? We'll live forever that way, and we'll never have to worry about all the horrible things that can kill us out of the blue, but probably won't! And we'll never have to learn how to assess risk!

There are a lot of pants-shiatting cowards with shiat for brains in this world of ours.
 
2012-07-15 07:28:31 PM
Gettin Even...

www.bdoutdoors.com
 
2012-07-15 07:30:31 PM
malaktaus: I think you missed spyderqueen's intent. If you have never been you OZ you should know that EVERTYTHING there is deadly.

Its part of evolution's practical joke. The island was so isolated for so long that everything has developed some sort of evilness to deal with every other evil thing. Even the farking frogs are deadly, and don't get me started on the cute little platypus's.
 
2012-07-15 07:32:15 PM
"Holmes said he tried to grab the victim but the shark swam away with what was left of the corpse."

He bobbed up and down, sort of like a top. He'd been bitten in half below the waist.

/ Herbie Robinson from Cleveland
// Baseball player
/// Boatswain's Mate
 
2012-07-15 07:34:38 PM

Brick-House: Gettin Even...

[www.bdoutdoors.com image 640x480]


Is that guy named Raven?
 
2012-07-15 07:39:36 PM
Pics please.
 
2012-07-15 07:42:47 PM
It's always "surfer killed by shark"..........
Hmm...What to do? What to do?
Don't Farking surf!! Duh!
 
2012-07-15 07:46:32 PM
As someone going to Western Australia this week (semester abroad), I am not getting a kick out of these replies... Or going near the beach apparently...

voradams: I am hoping that the dropbears will deal with the hunters who have been given permission to hunt in National Parks. Becuase if there is one thing worse than dropbears it is Bogans with Guns


Chk-chk-boom?
 
2012-07-15 07:47:18 PM

spyderqueen: malaktaus: lisarenee3505: Know how to make sure you don't get attacked by a shark? STAY OUT OF THE FARKING OCEAN!!!

How stupid are people, really? It's like a white guy wearing a Rolex hanging out at the intersection of Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. and Malcom X Dr. in any major city... you know that chances are you're not walking out of there with your watch or your wallet... and probably your shoes too.

Your odds of being attacked by a shark are considerably worse than your odds of winning the lottery. You are much more likely to die in a car accident on the way to the beach than at the beach once you get there. I usually try to be at least minimally polite, but I'm sick and tired of ignorance so I'm going to be blunt: you're a goddamn idiot and you should feel bad.

How about then we disregard the shark part of it and make it "any wildlife interaction in motherfarking Australia"?


I'd be more inclined to say "being in motherfarking Australia," considering that even the trees explode.
 
2012-07-15 07:49:11 PM
Who gives a flying fark? Horses kill a 1000 times more people per year than sharks.

What really worries me are the hysterical sheeple that are allowed to vote and are so easily manipulated by the media.
 
2012-07-15 07:53:22 PM

Gaylord Fister: Who gives a flying fark? Horses kill a 1000 times more people per year than sharks.

What really worries me are the hysterical sheeple that are allowed to vote and are so easily manipulated by the media.


When a horse kills a human, it's either an accident (something spooked the horse and its rider fell off) or entirely the human's fault (like that guy from Seattle).

It's almost never the horse deliberately trying to kill the human, and absolutely never because the horse intended to eat the human.
 
2012-07-15 07:54:57 PM

Gaylord Fister: Who gives a flying fark? Horses kill a 1000 times more people per year than sharks.


Yeah, but sharks have the statistical advantage of not being where we are nearly all the time.
 
2012-07-15 07:55:57 PM
That's it. I am not taking another bath. There could be a shark in there, Ma.
 
2012-07-15 08:01:20 PM
I read a different article about the attack that stated the dude was basically bitten in half by the shark, and that the scene was extremely gruesome. EEEEK
 
2012-07-15 08:02:04 PM

malaktaus: lisarenee3505: Know how to make sure you don't get attacked by a shark? STAY OUT OF THE FARKING OCEAN!!!

How stupid are people, really? It's like a white guy wearing a Rolex hanging out at the intersection of Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. and Malcom X Dr. in any major city... you know that chances are you're not walking out of there with your watch or your wallet... and probably your shoes too.

Your odds of being attacked by a shark are considerably worse than your odds of winning the lottery. You are much more likely to die in a car accident on the way to the beach than at the beach once you get there. I usually try to be at least minimally polite, but I'm sick and tired of ignorance so I'm going to be blunt: you're a goddamn idiot and you should feel bad.


You're technically wrong in some cases.

My odds of winning the lottery are lower than my odds of being attacked by a shark. The former odds are 0, while the latter are merely almost 0.

Next time I fly overseas, it's technically possible that Godzilla could knock my plane into the ocean before it lands, forcing me to battle some sharks while I wait for Nicolas Cage and Samue L. Jackson to save the day. It's unlikely, but it's a more plausible scenario than me buying a lottery ticket.
 
2012-07-15 08:02:40 PM
> When a horse kills a human, it's either an accident (something spooked the horse
> and its rider fell off) or entirely the human's fault (like that guy from Seattle).

Gee, that makes it much better of course. "The horse didn't mean to throw off your dad and break his skull Jimmy, so it's alright."

Intention doesn't enter into it. Horses do what they do. Same as sharks. Neither are able to change their behavior, and as sure as fark neither care about humans.

> Yeah, but sharks have the statistical advantage of not being where we are nearly all the time

Neither are horses.

You see, horse deaths and shark deaths are both risks associated with specific sports (horse riding and surfing).

I'm willing to bet that a horse rider has a much higher risk of being seriously injured or killed by a horse than a surfer by a shark.
 
2012-07-15 08:12:08 PM
Examiner, huh?

is this a wampler link?
 
2012-07-15 08:19:50 PM

Mrtraveler01: The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: Jon iz teh kewl: where's West Australia? is that near Melbourne?

Close to France and Switzerland.

Not too far from Sydney:

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 400x291]


lol, wow
 
2012-07-15 08:26:53 PM

malaktaus:
Your odds of being attacked by a shark are considerably worse than your odds of winning the lottery.


Yes, but both of those odds are calculated including people who live in places like Kansas.
 
2012-07-15 08:28:03 PM

King Something: ...and absolutely never because the horse intended to eat the human.

.....until now!

Next Syfy channel movie?
 
2012-07-15 08:28:38 PM
img812.imageshack.us

Buzzard's Shark's gotta eat too.
 
2012-07-15 08:30:26 PM

EddieMoscone: Indeed. Last time there was an abundance of shark attacks in the news, 9/11 happened soon after. Coincidence? I think not. Get prepared to panic, people.


You are talking about all the lawyers suing on behalf of the victims, right?
 
2012-07-15 08:45:24 PM

NetOwl: malaktaus: lisarenee3505: Know how to make sure you don't get attacked by a shark? STAY OUT OF THE FARKING OCEAN!!!

How stupid are people, really? It's like a white guy wearing a Rolex hanging out at the intersection of Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. and Malcom X Dr. in any major city... you know that chances are you're not walking out of there with your watch or your wallet... and probably your shoes too.

Your odds of being attacked by a shark are considerably worse than your odds of winning the lottery. You are much more likely to die in a car accident on the way to the beach than at the beach once you get there. I usually try to be at least minimally polite, but I'm sick and tired of ignorance so I'm going to be blunt: you're a goddamn idiot and you should feel bad.

You're technically wrong in some cases.

My odds of winning the lottery are lower than my odds of being attacked by a shark. The former odds are 0, while the latter are merely almost 0.

Next time I fly overseas, it's technically possible that Godzilla could knock my plane into the ocean before it lands, forcing me to battle some sharks while I wait for Nicolas Cage and Samue L. Jackson to save the day. It's unlikely, but it's a more plausible scenario than me buying a lottery ticket.


No fair! Quit cheating statistics! ;P
 
2012-07-15 08:47:38 PM
I want to start a new line of surfboards. I'll call them Hardcore Boards. The bottoms will be painted to look like a seal or sea lion. Only the badest of badasses will ride them...........for a little while, anyway.
 
2012-07-15 08:47:41 PM

lisarenee3505: How stupid are people, really? It's like a white guy wearing a Rolex hanging out at the intersection of Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. and Malcom X Dr. in any major city... you know that chances are you're not walking out of there with your watch or your wallet... and probably your shoes too.


Racist McRacistson is Racisteriffic!
 
Displayed 50 of 84 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report