Sounds like a book written by an "edgy" 12 year old

I did not find an absurd book review. I did find an absurd book and laughed heartily.

I think I made it about halfway through. The description of the Ringo novels is hysterical. They seem so awesomely bad I am surprised they have not been optioned by Hollywood, or John Stagliano at least.

I might pick up a couple if I can find some used. OK, maybe not, that could be icky.

/In first

I realized, when I tried to read John Ringo and again with Larry Correia, is that I have a much higher tolerance for batshiat liberal authors than I do for bathshiat conservative ones. I think it's decades of acclimation to extreme stupidity (hi, Scottish anarchists!) on one side of the spectrum and very little on the other.

TL;DR. Waste of a click.

Road_King: TL;DR. Waste of a click.

No naked co-eds either, as subby promised.

Glockenspiel Hero: Read to the end for the truly epic part

Read to the end? Why would anyone do such a thing? I got as far as Ringo is the author of a bajillion books, including fantasy and military SF. The novels (oh, yes, there is more than one) we'll be considering are from the PALADIN OF SHADOWS series.

Yeah, the phrase "bajillion books" followed by "series" would lead the reader to believe there is more than one novel. Unnecessary parenthetical statement is necessary.

That writing is awful.

WTF?
I'm not reading that.

When I saw there were no naked coeds, I didn't bother reading because all that was left was the reference to FOX news.

HotIgneous Intruder: WTF?
I'm not reading that.

That

Especially not without pictures of naked coeds interspersed among the rant.

50 Shades of "Meh"

old-news-is-so-exciting.gif

You know, I felt pretty bad that I've read everything in the Honor Harrington series. I'm feeling less guilty now.

not to be that guy... but this is almost ten years old.


hell, there's even a 'oh john ringo, no' t-shirt.

buttery_shame_cave: hell, there's even a 'oh john ringo, no' t-shirt.

TL;DR, your blog sucks. Subby you're the same ass that posted that stupid cartoon guy's link yesterday too, aren't you? Bad subby, bad.

Road_King: TL;DR. Waste of a click.

^^^This^^^

I read half of a John Ringo book, said fark this , tore it in half and dumped it into the newpaper recycling bin.. If I want political crap, I can get all I want free online.
Good story then he started feeding his ego with liberal bashing crap.
/never again

buttery_shame_cave: not to be that guy... but this is almost ten years old.


hell, there's even a 'oh john ringo, no' t-shirt.

10? The date on that post is March 22, 2008.

Unless it is reposted from an even earlier time.

My, my, that is a lot of words.

Evidently Mr. Ringo's an educated man. Now I really hate him.

luidprand: I realized, when I tried to read John Ringo and again with Larry Correia, is that I have a much higher tolerance for batshiat liberal authors than I do for bathshiat conservative ones. I think it's decades of acclimation to extreme stupidity (hi, Scottish anarchists!) on one side of the spectrum and very little on the other.

If you imagine MST3K reviewing any Larry Correia novel as you read it, the novels become a lot more enjoyable.

(Click)
Giant Wall of Text


Nooope

What guy doesn't want his cock sucked in public, right then, right there?

Kurmudgeon: I read half of a John Ringo book, said fark this , tore it in half and dumped it into the newpaper recycling bin.. If I want political crap, I can get all I want free online.
Good story then he started feeding his ego with liberal bashing crap.
/never again

you gotta be REALLY selective with what you read. the original aldenata quadrilogy was alright, troy rising is entertaining for how over-the-top the premise gets, but yeah there's a LOT of deep conservative stuff in his work.

'the last centurion' was a fun read tho. bandit's narrative voice is equal parts bill paxton's character in aliens and corbon dallas.

Why does that writing remind me of this guy?

funniest for me are people who bash paladin of shadows yet devour anything by richard marcinko.

/it's bullshiat fiction either way, just ringo isn't trying to play it as anything else.

Free version here!

Link

buttery_shame_cave: Kurmudgeon: I read half of a John Ringo book, said fark this , tore it in half and dumped it into the newpaper recycling bin.. If I want political crap, I can get all I want free online.
Good story then he started feeding his ego with liberal bashing crap.
/never again

you gotta be REALLY selective with what you read. the original aldenata quadrilogy was alright, troy rising is entertaining for how over-the-top the premise gets, but yeah there's a LOT of deep conservative stuff in his work.

'the last centurion' was a fun read tho. bandit's narrative voice is equal parts bill paxton's character in aliens and corbon dallas.

This. I got into the Ringo books, slogged through most of it, glossed over a lot of the politics. I never read the Paladin of Shadows series, so I probably missed the really preachy stuff. Actually, come to think of it, I've only read the Legacy series, so I guess I got the less preachy stuff.

I like his fellow Baen author Weber though, I read his work for the sheer joy of reading it, not analyzing the 'this his how the real world should be' political preaching. And the science. Because science.

This has been posted a million times in its four years on the internet.

Oh, old John Ringo review, no!

TheotherMIguy: buttery_shame_cave: Kurmudgeon: I read half of a John Ringo book, said fark this , tore it in half and dumped it into the newpaper recycling bin.. If I want political crap, I can get all I want free online.
Good story then he started feeding his ego with liberal bashing crap.
/never again

you gotta be REALLY selective with what you read. the original aldenata quadrilogy was alright, troy rising is entertaining for how over-the-top the premise gets, but yeah there's a LOT of deep conservative stuff in his work.

'the last centurion' was a fun read tho. bandit's narrative voice is equal parts bill paxton's character in aliens and corbon dallas.

This. I got into the Ringo books, slogged through most of it, glossed over a lot of the politics. I never read the Paladin of Shadows series, so I probably missed the really preachy stuff. Actually, come to think of it, I've only read the Legacy series, so I guess I got the less preachy stuff.

I like his fellow Baen author Weber though, I read his work for the sheer joy of reading it, not analyzing the 'this his how the real world should be' political preaching. And the science. Because science.

I read Weber for the missiles. Lots of missiles. Thousands of missiles. All full of incredible technology. Thousands of words. On missiles.

I am disappointed at the lack of naked co-ed links in this thread.

millia: I read Weber for the missiles. Lots of missiles. Thousands of missiles. All full of incredible technology. Thousands of words. On missiles.

The last book had a disappointingly small number of missiles :(

He cut away at the beginning of the battle. The missile massacre was off-screen. Why would he do that? I'm going to cry.

millia: I read Weber for the missiles. Lots of missiles. Thousands of missiles. All full of incredible technology. Thousands of words. On missiles.

You don't really understand David Weber until you've had a Starfire III game on a table in your basement for six months. Damn fine game, it was.

Once you understand him, though, the Honor Harrington stuff is just a bunch of eye-rolling "Rob S. Pierre" recycling. So don't devote your life to it or anything.

Fark you submitard for blatant lie ie no coeds naked or otherwise.

buttery_shame_cave: you gotta be REALLY selective with what you read.

I really enjoyed the Empire of Man series John Ringo wrote with David Weber.
Honestly, that series needs one more book or two.
Then I grabbed some of his own stuff and it was all WTFAmIreading.jpg.

steveGswine: millia: I read Weber for the missiles. Lots of missiles. Thousands of missiles. All full of incredible technology. Thousands of words. On missiles.

You don't really understand David Weber until you've had a Starfire III game on a table in your basement for six months. Damn fine game, it was.

Once you understand him, though, the Honor Harrington stuff is just a bunch of eye-rolling "Rob S. Pierre" recycling. So don't devote your life to it or anything.

To my extreme shame, I just now got the Robespierre thing. Noticed the Saint-Just, but missed that.

As you say, it's not deathless, by any stretch, and I limit my intake.

And as for the article: it was worth reading to be able to get to the 'whoreverine' part. Snerk.

ZAZ: Oh, wait, there's more.

But don't worry! He gets their moms' permission first.

Reminds me of the story of the Blind Faith album cover where the photographer got mom's permission to shoot her little girl topless. http://www.angelfire.com /wi/blindfaith/vvcov69.html (Probably NSFW)

The next part of the review reminded me of Heinlein's Number of the Beast. Or at least the parts I finished. I know I got past "spung!" but I may not have reached the halfway point.

I have that album, plus Houses of the Holy, Sticky Fingers, Mom's Apple Pie and a few other "classics"

Came for the naked coeds

/left disappoint

millia: steveGswine: millia: I read Weber for the missiles. Lots of missiles. Thousands of missiles. All full of incredible technology. Thousands of words. On missiles.

You don't really understand David Weber until you've had a Starfire III game on a table in your basement for six months. Damn fine game, it was.

Once you understand him, though, the Honor Harrington stuff is just a bunch of eye-rolling "Rob S. Pierre" recycling. So don't devote your life to it or anything.

To my extreme shame, I just now got the Robespierre thing. Noticed the Saint-Just, but missed that.

As you say, it's not deathless, by any stretch, and I limit my intake.

And as for the article: it was worth reading to be able to get to the 'whoreverine' part. Snerk.

You did get that Honor Harrington = Horatio Hornblower, right? That one's pretty obvious (as obvious as House+Wilson = Holmes+Watson).

To be honest, I'm not 100% convinced that Weber has been the author of the last half of the Honor Harrington series. The first three books were pretty awesome, but since then it hasn't had the same "flavor." Plus the "throw rate" (to borrow a term from the series) is a little too fast. He'd have to write a LOT of pages in a very short time to get that volume of text to market.

I've had a few different theories, from "he had them already written from the start" to "they just hire a bunch of wannabee post-grad students and give them a basic plot line and style manual (lots of internal monologues followed by variations of 'but out loud, he said'..." I even dug around in some fanfic to see if I could find similar themes to late books, but holy crap is some of that stuff bad. So I doubt that's the case- unless the next book in the series is about a wormhole junction into the Harry Potter universe or contains fifteen chapters about Honor exploring the lesbian side of her sexuality while rescuing a planet of parthenogenically reproducing amazons from genetic slavery (and NO, I'm not kidding- there's a fanfic novel named "Honorable Curiosity." It exists, God help us all).

But back to Ringo: How that guy got published is a mystery. I've tried, figuring that his close association with authors I enjoy might mean that he has similar talents. No dice. Oh, it's OK for some light distraction, maybe a beach read that you wouldn't care about if the tide swept it away. But I've never finished one of his books. Ever.

ZAZ: I read one or two Ringo novels when he was new. Fun diversion, but no more. Baen had some great covers: well-endowed women with too little clothing and too much armament, and the occasional exploding spaceship. http://www.baen.com/author_catalog.asp?author=jringo (scroll down to the early 2000s)

I wonder how the blogger would handle Stephen R. Donaldson's Thomas Covenant novels.

I stumbled upon those when I was 10 or 11. Just the first two had been published. But I remember the scene you're probably alluding to and I can honestly say I took in stride. Then again I was probably too young to really grasp the full picture.

Really loved those books, but I wonder what I'd think of them today, 30 or so years later.

This Ringo guy has a thing about rape. Bought a copy of "There will be Dragons" by him from the thrift store. Started out okay, what with futuristic gene manipulation done at will so you can look like literally anything. Then the society collapses and one of the main characters (there's about 7 of them) gets gang raped, and then an Elf drops in as the rape counselor. The Dragons never showed up. It was bad, couldn't finish it.

Submitter here. I honestly didn't expect this to go green. Partly because it's some guy's LiveJournal.

I picked up a dirt-cheap paperback of Hell's Faire by Ringo a couple years ago when a local bookstore went out of business. Then I found out most of his other books were free on the Baen free library for Kindles. I sort of nodded along through the first four Posleen war books. Then I read the Cally's War books that he co-wrote with Julie Cochrane, and was dumbfounded at how much rape rape they put in them.

Then I downloaded Ghost (again, for free... not gonna pay money for that). I kept waiting for the part where he would stop and go, "HA! I was just kidding... you thought I was serious?" But. It. Never. Came.

For those of you biatching about the lack of naked coeds: NSFW

According to this Link the owner of that site is actually reacting to all the negative press she's recently acquired such as removing that absolutely savage "Starving Tips of the Day", hopefully because she saw how bat-shiat insane it is to support that sort of thing.

LarryDan43: (Click)
Giant Wall of Text
[encrypted-tbn3.google.com image 120x120]

Nooope

Perfect.

Also,

BumpInTheNight: According to this Link the owner of that site is actually reacting to all the negative press she's recently acquired such as removing that absolutely savage "Starving Tips of the Day", hopefully because she saw how bat-shiat insane it is to support that sort of thing.

Woops wrong thread, sorry guys.

I really liked one series Ringo did with Weber I think, can't remember what it was, but March to the Sea or something. Everything else, yeah, it's like getting beat over the head reading a Goodkind book.

Speaking of David Weber and missiles:
I got mostly through his book "Crusade" when I realized the solution to all problems was developing another type of missile and stopped reading. Aliens too advanced? New Missile. Aliens beat that missile? Newer missile.
That and the space Scotland planet where everyone wears tartans and speaks with horribly written Scottish accents.

BumpInTheNight: BumpInTheNight: According to this Link the owner of that site is actually reacting to all the negative press she's recently acquired such as removing that absolutely savage "Starving Tips of the Day", hopefully because she saw how bat-shiat insane it is to support that sort of thing.

Woops wrong thread, sorry guys.

It's funny, because in a weird way it seems like a plot point from this guy's books.

Sgt Oddball: LarryDan43: (Click)
Giant Wall of Text
[encrypted-tbn3.google.com image 120x120]

Nooope

Perfect.

Also,
[img155.imageshack.us image 850x656]

I read a bunch of that wall. Should have Nooooped it.

and yet, the novels i sent in to publishers all got rejected. i guess there wasn't enough violent sex and political bullshiat for them to get published. i also didn't have any vampires or boy wizards, so it's no wonder my books all got rejected. i need to start appealing to the lowest common denominator.

enderthexenocide: and yet, the novels i sent in to publishers all got rejected. i guess there wasn't enough violent sex and political bullshiat for them to get published. i also didn't have any vampires or boy wizards, so it's no wonder my books all got rejected. i need to start appealing to the lowest common denominator.

well, you were sending to the wrong publisher, TBH, Baen will publish ANYTHING. especially if it gets a lot of commentary on their forums.

/that's how ringo got discovered. he lurked for ages, got some name recognition, then started posting teasers and such.

Not the first time I've seen that review.

I picked up a John Ringo book on a lark about 3 years ago. I couldn't put it down. It was the equivelent of watching a literary train-wreck/car accident in slow motion. It was probably the first and only book I've ever read that I absolutely hated.

Almost immediately upon completion I rushed to the interwebs and googled "John Ringo is a piece of crap" or some other such stuff and then, miraculously, I stumbled upon this review and a few others comments/posts.

What John Ringo had almost destroyed, was made whole again - my faith in humanity.

Looked it up, yeah, it was Empire of Man I liked. Good series if you like Space Opera. Somehow with Ringo and Weber working together it's like they both clashed so perfectly neither could fit a Mary Sue into the story.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Empire_of_Man

TwistedFark: Not the first time I've seen that review.

I picked up a John Ringo book on a lark about 3 years ago. I couldn't put it down. It was the equivelent of watching a literary train-wreck/car accident in slow motion. It was probably the first and only book I've ever read that I absolutely hated.


Try Sherri S. Tepper. Think John Ringo with an academyc femynyst hard-left viewpoint.

Although she is, technically, a better writer.

Book 1 sounded like something I would possibly buy, but then I read the review for Book 2, And now I feel like punching myself for even contemplating buying that degenerate crap.

Oh, and here is your picture of naked coeds. Link

Holee crap. There's big money in writing thinly-veiled Duke Nukem fanfics? No wonder the job market is so bad. Anyone who made it through high school, even as an art major, has too much education to pursue today's lofty high salary careers.