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(Fark)   If you could go back in time and change any one thing in history, what would it be?   (fark.com) divider line 56
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3006 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Jul 2012 at 3:10 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-07-13 09:15:38 PM
9 votes:
I'd undo today's site design changes.
2012-07-13 09:12:35 PM
8 votes:
Abort Purelilac's mom.
2012-07-13 09:43:33 PM
6 votes:
I'd go back to Muhamed and be like "God wants your women to wear those belly dancing outfits at all times. Here's a recipe for God's special anti sin oil the women should anoint themselves with daily (spf 45 sunblock). Also God wants you to encourage your youths to have premarital sex, but cum on the tits. God also likes drugs and alcohol. ktnxbye"
2012-07-13 09:14:41 PM
5 votes:
Undo the Louisiana Purchase for the lulz
2012-07-13 09:13:25 PM
5 votes:
I'd go back in time and stop the creation of a time machine...
2012-07-14 08:12:03 AM
3 votes:

Harry_Seldon: Go back in time, and play with Annette Funicello's breasts.


While she's hiding from the Nazis? You sick bastard...
2012-07-14 03:47:18 AM
3 votes:
I would go back to 1990 and take pictures of Glenn Beck doing that thing to that girl.
2012-07-14 02:22:51 AM
3 votes:
cdn.twentytwowords.com
2012-07-14 12:05:23 AM
3 votes:

bluorangefyre: I'd say stop 9/11, but having watched Family Guy, that might be bad. Although, it'd certainly stop the Iraq War since Bush wouldn't have had a blank check dated 9/11/01. He'd have lived up to his father's legacy of being a one-term president. The Tea Party wouldn't exist. Nobody outside of Alaska would've heard the name Sarah Palin. Fake... er, Fox News would probably be grouped with Alex Jones & Co. We'd have had President McCain in '08 (really, nobody would've re-elected President Kerry), but this would've been the John McCain that didn't sell his soul to the Republican Party and he would've ushered in a new era of Republicans: more moderate, less derp. OWS wouldn't have happened, since there'd be no need for it. Right now I'm sure we'd be electing a new President as McCain realized he'd die in term #2, and then we'd be right back to this point of Obama and Romney running neck-and-neck, although Obama would be a bit more seasoned in the Senate. Nobody would be questioning Obama's birthplace since McCain was born in the Panama Canal Zone, which no longer exists as a U.S. territory.


I f*cking love cocaine.
2012-07-13 09:11:36 PM
3 votes:
Abort my mom.
2012-07-14 06:11:24 AM
2 votes:
I'd go back shortly before my parents got together and give my dad a book called
encrypted-tbn0.google.com

Oh! and make sure Biff was dead.



/And warn Michael J. Fox he is gonna have MS so he better fund a cure.
2012-07-14 04:38:42 AM
2 votes:
I'd have given John Hinckley a .50 cal Deagle and shooting lessons.
2012-07-14 04:28:38 AM
2 votes:
Write the Bible and include the page in front that explains that all the characters are fictional, and that any resemblance to real people is purely coincidental.
2012-07-14 03:50:06 AM
2 votes:
Go back to 1999 and tell myself the girl that wants me to nail her in the ass has diarrhea. I just want the nightmares to stop.
2012-07-14 03:21:33 AM
2 votes:
The Spanish Inquisition. I would have had people expect it.
hng
2012-07-13 10:01:33 PM
2 votes:

middleoftheday: Undo the Louisiana Purchase for the lulz


and think of the money we would've saved on Katrina.
2012-07-13 09:25:35 PM
2 votes:

middleoftheday: wizden: I imagine stopping the plague and the dark ages would profoundly affect where we are now.

I dunno... maybe without the cultural control aspects of the Dark Ages, we'd all be f*cking turtles by now.


Eh. Good way to end up with salmonella, I've heard...
2012-07-13 09:24:02 PM
2 votes:

wizden: I imagine stopping the plague and the dark ages would profoundly affect where we are now.


I dunno... maybe without the cultural control aspects of the Dark Ages, we'd all be f*cking turtles by now.
2012-07-13 09:15:30 PM
2 votes:
Anita Bryant would've been strung up from the nearest tree. Her and Falwell. People like that have hijacked the everloving shiat out of the Republican Party, and America in general.
2012-07-13 09:14:30 PM
2 votes:

bdub77: Abort Purelilac's mom.


Someone's on my side. Yay!
2012-07-14 10:50:58 PM
1 votes:

jbezorg: timelady: No one will read this now, and that fine.

Non, rien de rien.

I would change nothing. All the pain has been worth it. Else I would not be me. I didn't always see or feel that way, but years bring wisdom.

So you could stop this thread from being posted....


How do you know I didn't go back to make sure it was, hmm?;)
2012-07-14 09:27:39 PM
1 votes:
I'd go back in time and make sure Obama got elected.
2012-07-14 04:48:18 PM
1 votes:
I think Senator Obama is a fine politician, and it's a damn shame he's not eligible to run for the Presidency. So I'd go back to 1961 and plant an American birth certificate for him in Hawaii. Since photoshop didn't exist back then, no-one would suspect it was fake. Just in case anybody did question it, I'd place birth announcements in their newspapers too.
2012-07-14 03:04:59 PM
1 votes:
upload.wikimedia.org

punch this guy in the balls hard enough so he could not have kids
2012-07-14 11:58:45 AM
1 votes:
Make sure Ayn Rand died in a Soviet purge or something before she could publish anything or come to the US
2012-07-14 11:37:26 AM
1 votes:

3rotor: Funny how we so wish we could change the past, when we are right here, in the present, having the ability to change the past of our own futures... in essence, we are all time-travelers, we just do not realize it...


Ah, wake and bake.
2012-07-14 10:40:49 AM
1 votes:

diaphoresis: I would have killed Jimmy Carter when he was a teenager.


who shiat in your wheaties this morning?
2012-07-14 10:31:50 AM
1 votes:

Saberus Terras: Here's what I'd change:

Nothing.

Seriously, changing one thing makes it meaningless, since it can be changed. By extension, that means all things could be changed, and the significance of life itself becomes moot.
Anyone that goes to the past, I think will simply cease to exist through some mechanism built into the fabric of the universe, sort of like a space-temporal checksum. Yes, I think that the universe has a Reality ECC built in.



Stop hogging the joint.....
2012-07-14 10:29:47 AM
1 votes:
I would cut the blue wire.
2012-07-14 10:26:19 AM
1 votes:
I would stop the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs from hitting Earth. Seems that would solve all of the problems we came along and created later.
2012-07-14 05:24:48 AM
1 votes:

Fish_Fight!: prevent obama being born


Obama has his own time machine. He might prevent you from being born.
2012-07-14 04:51:16 AM
1 votes:
Stop the burning of the library at Alexandria. We'd have had a man on the moon by 1000 AD [or at least the movie technology to fake it ;) ]
2012-07-14 04:51:02 AM
1 votes:
I'd stop the big bang.

Not only would it make my day, but I would have stopped ALL of the genocides!
2012-07-14 04:43:04 AM
1 votes:
I'd convince Pilate to let Jesus go free.
2012-07-14 04:16:36 AM
1 votes:
"Hey, you're the ones writing Star Trek: X. Here's the finished version. Watch it and keep it as a reminder of what not to do when writing a better movie. And if you don't believe me, this movie was beaten it's opening weekend by a Jennifer Lopez movie."

"Hey George Lucas. That Episode 1 you're writing. Here it is, finished, from the future. Also, here is a guy named Plinket, he reviewed this movie in huge detail. Watch Episode 1, watch the Plinket review, TAKE NOTES, and listen to Plinket."

"Hey, I know you're wanting two more Matrix movies, but...no. Just no."

"Hey, Stephanie, let me help you get that Twilight manuscript to the publisher..." shoots her in the face, whites out her name, puts me name in it's place. "Hello 18 y.o. chicks with no life and MILFy Cougars!!!!"
2012-07-14 04:06:05 AM
1 votes:
4.bp.blogspot.com

/oblig
2012-07-14 04:01:55 AM
1 votes:

Purelilac: Abort my mom.


Not bang Purelilac's grandmother
2012-07-14 03:47:59 AM
1 votes:
I'd shoot JFK from the grassy knoll for the LOLs.

Commission a young German painter to do lots of works all around the world.

Deposit a breeding population of horses in North America circa 5000BC.

Artificially impregnate every virgin named Mary in that region around that time. Using the sperm of Wilt Chamberlain.

Introduce the idea of movable type at the Library of Alexandria 100BC. And coptic binding.

And while we're at it, could we just go back and grab a pack of wooly mammoths.
2012-07-14 03:41:43 AM
1 votes:

middleoftheday: wizden: I imagine stopping the plague and the dark ages would profoundly affect where we are now.

I dunno... maybe without the cultural control aspects of the Dark Ages, we'd all be f*cking turtles by now.


We're not supposed to fark turtles? I didn't get that memo.
2012-07-14 03:39:08 AM
1 votes:

xanadian: Anita Bryant would've been strung up from the nearest tree. Her and Falwell. People like that have hijacked the everloving shiat out of the Republican Party, and America in general.


Fark you Farktard, libtard, gaysexual humpin' sunsabiatches. Anita was hot, so I would go back in time, and fark the shait out of that freaky pooper.
2012-07-14 03:14:28 AM
1 votes:
I would have nutted in Lisa's mouth
2012-07-14 03:08:02 AM
1 votes:
images.t-nation.com
2012-07-14 02:57:25 AM
1 votes:

wizden: I f*cking love cocaine.


Actual photo of wizden:

i1222.photobucket.com
2012-07-14 02:49:02 AM
1 votes:
Go back to the day before Jesus gets arrested and tell him to run for the hills!
2012-07-14 12:05:53 AM
1 votes:
I'd tell that blonde guy with the mullet to stop gun running with strangers he meets from the classifieds.
2012-07-13 11:56:31 PM
1 votes:

wizden: Ha! Green.

I think this one was a good call.


All people will see Horrible Histories:

William Wallace Song

British Empire Report

Viking Wife Swap

Aztec Priest Song
2012-07-13 10:06:38 PM
1 votes:

wizden: I think you know WHAR PENIS GOES.


AHAHA!

Well this is true..

HEY! Did you just call me a whore?
2012-07-13 09:52:32 PM
1 votes:

we'refromthesamestory: wizden: xanadian: wizden: Oddly it also preserved the written word and eventually.. BAM. Thomas Aquinas.

I get the feeling the written word would've survived just fine without the bible and the church...

The monasteries of the time represented the vast majority of people who could actually read and write. It was pretty rare.

Oppression does that...


Goddammit learn to history.
2012-07-13 09:49:56 PM
1 votes:
If I could turn back time....
2012-07-13 09:45:43 PM
1 votes:

bighoss: kellynoel: logistic: kellynoel: I'd stop my parent from getting pregnant with me.

I'd stop the first person who ever fished for compliments and hope it stops the trend from ever starting.

That's not fishing for compliments.

I, for one, am happy you are here. The world is a better place with you in it.


That would have meant something three years or so ago.
2012-07-13 09:42:20 PM
1 votes:

kellynoel: logistic: kellynoel: I'd stop my parent from getting pregnant with me.

I'd stop the first person who ever fished for compliments and hope it stops the trend from ever starting.

That's not fishing for compliments.


I, for one, am happy you are here. The world is a better place with you in it.
2012-07-13 09:26:42 PM
1 votes:

kellynoel: I'd stop my parent from getting pregnant with me.


I'd stop the first person who ever fished for compliments and hope it stops the trend from ever starting.
2012-07-13 09:24:40 PM
1 votes:
I'd stop my parent from getting pregnant with me.
2012-07-13 09:23:22 PM
1 votes:
I'd stop the two puddles of goo from merging.
2012-07-13 09:17:59 PM
1 votes:

wizden: I imagine stopping the plague and the dark ages would profoundly affect where we are now.


Nah they were all ass backwards.

/Am I being too harsh with that?
2012-07-13 09:16:23 PM
1 votes:

Alpha Sierra Foxtrot: we'refromthesamestory: Genocide, all of them. Ever.

/I'm including the Armenian Genocide too
///Go ahead, hate.

I had that thought, but that's not really one thing...I mean, like, it's not just one event that you'd be stopping. I don't know which genocide I could possibly actually choose.


Genocide is one thing. That's what I'm changing!
 
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