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(Fark)   If you could go back in time and change any one thing in history, what would it be?   (fark.com) divider line 414
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3005 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Jul 2012 at 3:10 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-13 09:11:36 PM
Abort my mom.
 
2012-07-13 09:12:35 PM
Abort Purelilac's mom.
 
2012-07-13 09:12:44 PM
Give my grandparents the balls to tell my mom off and keep us kids.
 
2012-07-13 09:13:25 PM
I'd go back in time and stop the creation of a time machine...
 
2012-07-13 09:13:55 PM
Genocide, all of them. Ever.

/I'm including the Armenian Genocide too
///Go ahead, hate.
 
2012-07-13 09:14:30 PM

bdub77: Abort Purelilac's mom.


Someone's on my side. Yay!
 
2012-07-13 09:14:41 PM
Undo the Louisiana Purchase for the lulz
 
2012-07-13 09:15:03 PM

we'refromthesamestory: Genocide, all of them. Ever.

/I'm including the Armenian Genocide too
///Go ahead, hate.


I had that thought, but that's not really one thing...I mean, like, it's not just one event that you'd be stopping. I don't know which genocide I could possibly actually choose.
 
2012-07-13 09:15:05 PM

redoctober65: I'd go back in time and stop the creation of a time machine...


This is why we can't have time machines. I argued this with my friend. The minute the knowledge became publicly available someone would inevitably go back in time and kill the inventor.
 
2012-07-13 09:15:30 PM
Anita Bryant would've been strung up from the nearest tree. Her and Falwell. People like that have hijacked the everloving shiat out of the Republican Party, and America in general.
 
2012-07-13 09:15:38 PM
I'd undo today's site design changes.
 
2012-07-13 09:16:23 PM

Alpha Sierra Foxtrot: we'refromthesamestory: Genocide, all of them. Ever.

/I'm including the Armenian Genocide too
///Go ahead, hate.

I had that thought, but that's not really one thing...I mean, like, it's not just one event that you'd be stopping. I don't know which genocide I could possibly actually choose.


Genocide is one thing. That's what I'm changing!
 
2012-07-13 09:17:25 PM
I imagine stopping the plague and the dark ages would profoundly affect where we are now.
 
2012-07-13 09:17:36 PM

But Wait There's More: I'd undo today's site design changes.


I expected this to be the Boobies, fark is slipping
 
2012-07-13 09:17:59 PM

wizden: I imagine stopping the plague and the dark ages would profoundly affect where we are now.


Nah they were all ass backwards.

/Am I being too harsh with that?
 
2012-07-13 09:19:21 PM
I wouldn't let that farking whorepig move in with me.
 
2012-07-13 09:22:14 PM

Metalupis: But Wait There's More: I'd undo today's site design changes.

I expected this to be the Boobies, fark is slipping


It's all the redesign's fault.
 
2012-07-13 09:22:32 PM

we'refromthesamestory: wizden: I imagine stopping the plague and the dark ages would profoundly affect where we are now.

Nah they were all ass backwards.

/Am I being too harsh with that?


Read MOAR.

That erased a shiatload of human progress.
 
2012-07-13 09:23:22 PM
I'd stop the two puddles of goo from merging.
 
2012-07-13 09:23:56 PM

wizden: we'refromthesamestory: wizden: I imagine stopping the plague and the dark ages would profoundly affect where we are now.

Nah they were all ass backwards.

/Am I being too harsh with that?

Read MOAR.

That erased a shiatload of human progress.


I thought the bizarre adherence to the alleged dictations of a sky wizard did that.
 
2012-07-13 09:24:02 PM

wizden: I imagine stopping the plague and the dark ages would profoundly affect where we are now.


I dunno... maybe without the cultural control aspects of the Dark Ages, we'd all be f*cking turtles by now.
 
2012-07-13 09:24:13 PM

wizden: we'refromthesamestory: wizden: I imagine stopping the plague and the dark ages would profoundly affect where we are now.

Nah they were all ass backwards.

/Am I being too harsh with that?

Read MOAR.

That erased a shiatload of human progress.


When I read it's usually a book about science. How could Darwin teach me about the dark ages?
 
2012-07-13 09:24:40 PM
I'd stop my parent from getting pregnant with me.
 
2012-07-13 09:25:15 PM
S. Plural.
 
2012-07-13 09:25:35 PM

middleoftheday: wizden: I imagine stopping the plague and the dark ages would profoundly affect where we are now.

I dunno... maybe without the cultural control aspects of the Dark Ages, we'd all be f*cking turtles by now.


Eh. Good way to end up with salmonella, I've heard...
 
2012-07-13 09:25:58 PM

middleoftheday: wizden: I imagine stopping the plague and the dark ages would profoundly affect where we are now.

I dunno... maybe without the cultural control aspects of the Dark Ages, we'd all be f*cking turtles by now.


That's what I'm talking about.
 
2012-07-13 09:26:42 PM

kellynoel: I'd stop my parent from getting pregnant with me.


I'd stop the first person who ever fished for compliments and hope it stops the trend from ever starting.
 
2012-07-13 09:27:19 PM

xanadian: wizden: we'refromthesamestory: wizden: I imagine stopping the plague and the dark ages would profoundly affect where we are now.

Nah they were all ass backwards.

/Am I being too harsh with that?

Read MOAR.

That erased a shiatload of human progress.

I thought the bizarre adherence to the alleged dictations of a sky wizard did that.


Oddly it also preserved the written word and eventually.. BAM. Thomas Aquinas.
 
2012-07-13 09:27:25 PM

logistic: kellynoel: I'd stop my parent from getting pregnant with me.

I'd stop the first person who ever fished for compliments and hope it stops the trend from ever starting.


That's not fishing for compliments.
 
2012-07-13 09:28:35 PM

logistic: kellynoel: I'd stop my parent from getting pregnant with me.

I'd stop the first person who ever fished for compliments and hope it stops the trend from ever starting.


nah, we like attention too much.
 
2012-07-13 09:31:29 PM

wizden: Oddly it also preserved the written word and eventually.. BAM. Thomas Aquinas.


I get the feeling the written word would've survived just fine without the bible and the church...
 
2012-07-13 09:32:03 PM
Hold her hand.
 
2012-07-13 09:36:21 PM
The puddles were amino acids and they merged to form a protein.
 
2012-07-13 09:42:20 PM

kellynoel: logistic: kellynoel: I'd stop my parent from getting pregnant with me.

I'd stop the first person who ever fished for compliments and hope it stops the trend from ever starting.

That's not fishing for compliments.


I, for one, am happy you are here. The world is a better place with you in it.
 
2012-07-13 09:43:33 PM
Probably some sort of stock purchase. As in, I'd make one.
 
2012-07-13 09:43:33 PM
I'd go back to Muhamed and be like "God wants your women to wear those belly dancing outfits at all times. Here's a recipe for God's special anti sin oil the women should anoint themselves with daily (spf 45 sunblock). Also God wants you to encourage your youths to have premarital sex, but cum on the tits. God also likes drugs and alcohol. ktnxbye"
 
2012-07-13 09:43:46 PM
The one single solitary night i said i wouldn't go out, he took too much and died, leaving a wife, and 2yr old twin girls, and a distraught best friend. Had i went, i would have told him to slow down, and he would still be here. Had plans to raise our girls together. Beers, barbeque. Shot to shiat. Pills alcohol and coke do not a good mix make.
 
2012-07-13 09:44:34 PM

xanadian: wizden: Oddly it also preserved the written word and eventually.. BAM. Thomas Aquinas.

I get the feeling the written word would've survived just fine without the bible and the church...


The monasteries of the time represented the vast majority of people who could actually read and write. It was pretty rare.
 
2012-07-13 09:44:53 PM
The most impacting thing? One thing? Kill Genghis Kahn when he was a boy who had just been abandoned by his family. That'd change things ...
 
2012-07-13 09:45:43 PM

bighoss: kellynoel: logistic: kellynoel: I'd stop my parent from getting pregnant with me.

I'd stop the first person who ever fished for compliments and hope it stops the trend from ever starting.

That's not fishing for compliments.

I, for one, am happy you are here. The world is a better place with you in it.


That would have meant something three years or so ago.
 
2012-07-13 09:46:28 PM

we'refromthesamestory: wizden: we'refromthesamestory: wizden: I imagine stopping the plague and the dark ages would profoundly affect where we are now.

Nah they were all ass backwards.

/Am I being too harsh with that?

Read MOAR.

That erased a shiatload of human progress.

When I read it's usually a book about science. How could Darwin teach me about the dark ages?


Read Aristotle.
 
2012-07-13 09:48:02 PM

wizden: xanadian: wizden: Oddly it also preserved the written word and eventually.. BAM. Thomas Aquinas.

I get the feeling the written word would've survived just fine without the bible and the church...

The monasteries of the time represented the vast majority of people who could actually read and write. It was pretty rare.


Oppression does that...
 
2012-07-13 09:48:46 PM

wizden: we'refromthesamestory: wizden: we'refromthesamestory: wizden: I imagine stopping the plague and the dark ages would profoundly affect where we are now.

Nah they were all ass backwards.

/Am I being too harsh with that?

Read MOAR.

That erased a shiatload of human progress.

When I read it's usually a book about science. How could Darwin teach me about the dark ages?

Read Aristotle.


I did that once. He was even more boring then Darwin. I didn't think it was possible.
 
2012-07-13 09:49:56 PM
If I could turn back time....
 
2012-07-13 09:50:54 PM

we'refromthesamestory:
nah, we like attention too much.


Yeah but I doubt you have much of a problem getting attention :p
 
2012-07-13 09:52:32 PM

we'refromthesamestory: wizden: xanadian: wizden: Oddly it also preserved the written word and eventually.. BAM. Thomas Aquinas.

I get the feeling the written word would've survived just fine without the bible and the church...

The monasteries of the time represented the vast majority of people who could actually read and write. It was pretty rare.

Oppression does that...


Goddammit learn to history.
 
2012-07-13 09:55:38 PM

we'refromthesamestory: wizden: we'refromthesamestory: wizden: we'refromthesamestory: wizden: I imagine stopping the plague and the dark ages would profoundly affect where we are now.

Nah they were all ass backwards.

/Am I being too harsh with that?

Read MOAR.

That erased a shiatload of human progress.

When I read it's usually a book about science. How could Darwin teach me about the dark ages?

Read Aristotle.

I did that once. He was even more boring then Darwin. I didn't think it was possible.


Actually, Aristotle was a lively writer who was wildly popular as a master of the art of writing. It's widely attested to in many surviving period texts.

The problem is, none of Aristotle's public publications are among the surviving texts. In fact, for a long time it was thought that Aristotle's work was gone completely until someone found a few old copies of some of his private books, like Nicomachean Ethics (a book written for his son, Nicomachus) in some Muslim repository somewhere during one of the Crusades... or something like that.

Basically Aristotle's works are to your mind what Marlyn Monroe's pussy is to you dick: something amazing, tantalizing, superbly famous, and entirely unknowable.
 
2012-07-13 09:58:09 PM

wizden: we'refromthesamestory: wizden: xanadian: wizden: Oddly it also preserved the written word and eventually.. BAM. Thomas Aquinas.

I get the feeling the written word would've survived just fine without the bible and the church...

The monasteries of the time represented the vast majority of people who could actually read and write. It was pretty rare.

Oppression does that...

Goddammit learn to history.


Leave him wizen. The irony of how he clutches at his ignorance with an vice like grip and yet claims to be enlightened is making chuckle. I need a good chuckle.
 
2012-07-13 09:59:31 PM

doglover: wizden: we'refromthesamestory: wizden: xanadian: wizden: Oddly it also preserved the written word and eventually.. BAM. Thomas Aquinas.

I get the feeling the written word would've survived just fine without the bible and the church...

The monasteries of the time represented the vast majority of people who could actually read and write. It was pretty rare.

Oppression does that...

Goddammit learn to history.

Leave him wizen. The irony of how he clutches at his ignorance with an vice like grip and yet claims to be enlightened is making chuckle. I need a good chuckle.


We all need a good chuckle.
 
hng
2012-07-13 10:01:33 PM

middleoftheday: Undo the Louisiana Purchase for the lulz


and think of the money we would've saved on Katrina.
 
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