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(Gawker)   Some societies are so ignorant that they blame natural events on evil sorcerers. Thank goodness we live in a society that knows enough to blame everything on God's anger   (gawker.com) divider line 97
    More: Weird, Papua New Guinea, witch doctors, society, evil sorcerers, penis  
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6565 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Jul 2012 at 4:18 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-13 02:52:28 PM
This article brings a whole new meaning to "eat a bowl of dicks".
 
2012-07-13 04:19:33 PM
That's what we do here in Arizona.
 
2012-07-13 04:19:37 PM
Ooo. Seven sorcerer penis soup. I need to get their recipe.
 
2012-07-13 04:20:31 PM
The anti-sorcerer group, which is believed to have as many as 1,000 active participants, was organized after witch doctors, who traditionally charge 1000 kina ($472), a pig, and a bag of rice to determine a cause of death or ward off evil spirits, began demanding sex as well.

I can't fault them for this.
 
2012-07-13 04:23:45 PM

cgraves67: Ooo. Seven sorcerer penis soup. I need to get their recipe.


I wonder if it's cream based.
 
2012-07-13 04:24:02 PM
reason.com
Pat Robertson farts in your general direction
 
2012-07-13 04:25:59 PM
Well, God's anger and...

img.photobucket.com
 
2012-07-13 04:26:51 PM
Pat Robertson meets Cannibal Holocaust? I'm so there!
 
2012-07-13 04:27:49 PM
And the gays. Don't forget how this country loves to blame our problems on the gays.
 
2012-07-13 04:30:45 PM
In addition to murdering the "evil sorcerers," it is believed the cannibal cult also consumed portions of their victims' brains and other organs, and prepared soup from their penises in an effort to become bulletproof.


theletter.co.uk
Oh okay, now I understand pop music.
 
2012-07-13 04:33:44 PM
Campbells 7-Sorcerer Penis Soup still isn't available in my local Shop-Rite.
 
2012-07-13 04:34:30 PM
Act of God

We've got a legal principal built around it!

/not a lawyer
 
2012-07-13 04:35:25 PM
This is what you sound like, Christians. Enjoy your bag of dicks...


/full of god's love.
 
2012-07-13 04:37:06 PM
And by "society", you mean a person claiming to represent 1,000 or so people, out of 300,000,000 people in the country.
 
2012-07-13 04:37:19 PM
Right. Papua New Guinea is not a potential vacation spot. Got it.
 
2012-07-13 04:37:27 PM

StaleCoffee: Campbells 7-Sorcerer Penis Soup still isn't available in my local Shop-Rite.


You have to go to Aldi's. They have all sorts of weird shiat there.
 
2012-07-13 04:38:16 PM
I'm confused. Who's the anti-scorer group? The militant group seeking revenge against rogue witch doctors? Or the cannibal cult? Or are they one in the same? Also, doesn't making a soup out of someone's penis so you can become bulletproof pretty much make you a scorer?
 
2012-07-13 04:39:22 PM

generallyso: Right. Papua New Guinea is not a potential vacation spot. Got it.


Just don't go and charge sex for preventing evil spirits. You'll be fine.
 
2012-07-13 04:39:35 PM
for subby

i196.photobucket.com
 
2012-07-13 04:40:37 PM

RoxtarRyan: StaleCoffee: Campbells 7-Sorcerer Penis Soup still isn't available in my local Shop-Rite.

You have to go to Aldi's. They have all sorts of weird shiat there.


Whole Foods uses the whole penis, as Nature intended, for their "Eleven Wiccan Wang Chowder." Don't be fooled by homegrown imitations.
 
2012-07-13 04:41:16 PM
Merlin, get out of Papua New Guinea!


/obscure?
 
2012-07-13 04:41:52 PM
images.mysupermarket.co.uk
 
2012-07-13 04:43:34 PM
You can take the word God and replace it with the words 'I dont know' and you still get the same meaning. Thats how ancient people explain stuff that they could not explain.

Examples:

What made that volcano explode? Answer: God.
What caused that flood? Answer: God.
Who will save your soul? Answer: God.
 
2012-07-13 04:43:41 PM

crazyeddie: This is what you sound like, Christians. Enjoy your bag of dicks...


/full of god's love.


To you, maybe. But that's okay, because your retardation is mostly harmless and immensely entertaining.

/now tell us how Pat Robertson is responsible for burning ancient manuscripts in Timbuktu
//they were burned by someone who called them blasphemous, some Christian must be responsible
 
2012-07-13 04:44:27 PM
4.bp.blogspot.com

"No penis for you!"
 
2012-07-13 04:45:45 PM

cgraves67: Ooo. Seven sorcerer penis soup. I need to get their recipe.


You know, you could probably translate that into Chinese, put it on a menu and no one would be the wiser.
 
2012-07-13 04:46:19 PM
but they WERE evil sorcerers!
 
2012-07-13 04:47:12 PM
*sigh* Why are atheists such massive dickbags?
 
2012-07-13 04:47:44 PM

Tatterdemalian: crazyeddie: This is what you sound like, Christians. Enjoy your bag of dicks...


/full of god's love.

To you, maybe. But that's okay, because your retardation is mostly harmless and immensely entertaining.

/now tell us how Pat Robertson is responsible for burning ancient manuscripts in Timbuktu
//they were burned by someone who called them blasphemous, some Christian must be responsible


I thought Pat Robertson was the guy who predicts something and the opposite happens, and blames blames everything on men loving other mens penis... oh shiat, was he killed by an anti-sorcerer?
 
2012-07-13 04:48:02 PM
Surely my god will punish them.

/Don't call my god Shirley.
 
2012-07-13 04:48:38 PM

you_idiot: *sigh* Why are atheists such massive dickbags?


Because Evangelical Christians have such tiny balls by comparison!
 
2012-07-13 04:50:01 PM
img402.imageshack.us
 
2012-07-13 04:50:35 PM

newton: Well, God's anger and...

img.photobucket.com

teachers.henrico.k12.va.us
Huh? I don't get it
 
2012-07-13 04:51:06 PM

Tatterdemalian: crazyeddie: This is what you sound like, Christians. Enjoy your bag of dicks...


/full of god's love.

To you, maybe. But that's okay, because your retardation is mostly harmless and immensely entertaining.

/now tell us how Pat Robertson is responsible for burning ancient manuscripts in Timbuktu
//they were burned by someone who called them blasphemous, some Christian must be responsible


We were too busy grinding up archaeological sites in Iraq for aggregate, manufacturing the stones you're now throwing at Islamists for destroying historical sites in Timbuktu. Where was your outrage when half of the Hanging Gardens of Babylon were destroyed to make way for a military base?

Religious extremists, in all forms, are repugnant. Eventually, we'll grow out of religion - and religious extremism is helping.
 
2012-07-13 04:52:41 PM
I bet the soup tastes magical.
 
2012-07-13 04:54:19 PM

StaleCoffee: Campbells 7-Sorcerer Penis Soup still isn't available in my local Shop-Rite.


From the article comments:

There was probably more celery pieces than actual penis. Just like always.

I LOL'd
 
2012-07-13 04:54:55 PM

you_idiot: *sigh* Why are atheists such massive dickbags?


Because gods have small penises. They use magic to make sure all their followers have small penises. Since we have no tiny dick gods, our dickbags need to be massive.
 
2012-07-13 04:55:20 PM

Ghastly: [images.mysupermarket.co.uk image 243x300]


Goes great with

i1190.photobucket.com
 
2012-07-13 04:55:40 PM

you_idiot: *sigh* Why are atheists such massive dickbags?


Look, you_idiot, ... I got nothing to follow that up with, that argument sounds too stressful for me this afternoon. I just wanted to use your name.
 
2012-07-13 04:57:01 PM

FormlessOne: Where was your outrage when half of the Hanging Gardens of Babylon were destroyed to make way for a military base?


Well we've obviously progressed to the point in our civilization that the +10 food and +3 happiness are of less benefit than the +12 combat and +25 HP bonuses that military base brings in.
 
2012-07-13 04:59:02 PM
upload.wikimedia.org

Tonight I dine on penis soup
 
2012-07-13 05:00:00 PM
When God isn't available there's always George Bush.
 
2012-07-13 05:01:57 PM

hitlersbrain: Because gods have small penises. They use magic to make sure all their followers have small penises. Since we have no tiny dick gods, our dickbags need to be massive.


No way dude. Read "Horror On Howth Hill", a Lovecraft parody by R.A.Wilson. Among stunningly overwrought footnotes, he and his pals discuss god-penis sizes. They then determine that a certain goddess has a vagina parsecs deep!

/or was that centons...
 
2012-07-13 05:07:02 PM

Boatmech: newton: Well, God's anger and...

[img.photobucket.com image 799x470]
[teachers.henrico.k12.va.us image 304x432]
Huh? I don't get it


That antenna array is a HAARP array. People blame odd weather events and powerful hurricanes on ionosphere tampering such as that suggested by HAARP.
 
2012-07-13 05:08:37 PM

FormlessOne: Tatterdemalian: crazyeddie:
Where was your outrage when half of the Hanging Gardens of Babylon were destroyed to make way for a military base?
.

WTF Dude? You got a citation on that?
 
2012-07-13 05:15:49 PM

SithLord: Boatmech: newton: Well, God's anger and...

[img.photobucket.com image 799x470]
[teachers.henrico.k12.va.us image 304x432]
Huh? I don't get it

That antenna array is a HAARP array. People blame odd weather events and powerful hurricanes on ionosphere tampering such as that suggested by HAARP.


Hmm... Before I ask WTF are you talking about I guess I should RTFA

Bowls of Dick
HAARP
Witch Doctors
AND Gods Love

/bet that makes a hell of an anagram
// will RTFA
 
2012-07-13 05:22:28 PM
I blame global warming.
 
2012-07-13 05:28:52 PM
"We ate their brains raw and took body parts such as
livers, hearts, penis and others back to the hausman
(traditional men's houses) for our chief trainers to
create other powers for the members to use," one of
those arrested said.

So they're some kind of Catholic offshoot?
 
2012-07-13 05:29:00 PM

StaleCoffee: FormlessOne: Where was your outrage when half of the Hanging Gardens of Babylon were destroyed to make way for a military base?

Well we've obviously progressed to the point in our civilization that the +10 food and +3 happiness are of less benefit than the +12 combat and +25 HP bonuses that military base brings in.


Had to grin at that one.
 
2012-07-13 05:31:06 PM

Gyrfalcon: The anti-sorcerer group, which is believed to have as many as 1,000 active participants, was organized after witch doctors, who traditionally charge 1000 kina ($472), a pig, and a bag of rice to determine a cause of death or ward off evil spirits, began demanding sex as well.

I can't fault them for this.


they're smart. their power figures took it to far and a price is being paid. we could use some of that slice & dice spirit in the States.
 
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