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(Gwinnett Daily Post)   Robber falls for the ol' "I don't have any money" trick, followed by the ol' "I don't speak English" trick moments later   (gwinnettdailypost.com) divider line 24
    More: Dumbass, English, Norcross, shopping centers, robbery, Jimmy Carter Boulevard, Gwinnett County Jail  
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3884 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Jul 2012 at 11:32 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



24 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-07-13 11:35:54 AM
Wait. Do you mean that there are people left in Gwinnett who have to pretend they don't speak English?
 
2012-07-13 11:36:06 AM
That's some funnay shiat there.
 
2012-07-13 11:41:02 AM
www.intriguing.com
 
2012-07-13 11:41:37 AM
Soon he will be falling for the "these bracelets are tight because they are new. Once you wear em for a while you will get used to them" trick.
 
2012-07-13 11:46:34 AM
This dude has to have posted over in politics.

/ I mean black shoes w/blue jeans before 6pm WTF?
 
2012-07-13 11:47:32 AM
Time to teach them "Billiards English": The harder you hit 'em, the more English you get outta them.
 
2012-07-13 11:47:54 AM
My tactic is yelling "Yo Tango No Dinero"

/Only spanish I know
 
2012-07-13 11:48:52 AM
"There is nothing to indicate (Mccray) is in custody at this time," Gwinnett police spokesman Cpl. Edwin Ritter said Thursday.

/Um ...wut? There is nothing to indicate that he's in custody? Like a arrest report or an actual PERSON in a jail cell?
 
2012-07-13 11:51:20 AM

Bit'O'Gristle: "There is nothing to indicate (Mccray) is in custody at this time," Gwinnett police spokesman Cpl. Edwin Ritter said Thursday.

/Um ...wut? There is nothing to indicate that he's in custody? Like a arrest report or an actual PERSON in a jail cell?


Or an indicator light. Now that would be cool.
 
2012-07-13 11:52:21 AM
I have no money.

I don't speak English, except for the phrase "I have no money" and this sentence explaining why my previous statement was in articulate and well-enunciated English.


I am sure many of you will recognize this joke, which is based on a Hispanic migrant worker in a Family Guy episode who speaks two similar lines to Brian the Dog in perfect English.

BRIAN: Oh, you speak English.
MIGRANT WORKER: No, just that first speech
and this one explaining it.
BRIAN: You... you're kidding, right?
MIGRANT WORKER: Qué?
Family Guy ... "If karma doesn't hit you soon, trust me, I will."
 
2012-07-13 11:54:08 AM
I was expecting the crook to fall for both from the same victim. That would've been a laugh riot.

Gimme yo' money!

I don't have any.

Gimme yo' wallet den!

No speaky the Engless.

But di'n't you jus' say yo' had no money?

Small Engless. Tiny Engless. Only words I know.
 
2012-07-13 11:56:42 AM
guyism.com
 
2012-07-13 11:59:36 AM

Bit'O'Gristle: "There is nothing to indicate (Mccray) is in custody at this time," Gwinnett police spokesman Cpl. Edwin Ritter said Thursday.

/Um ...wut? There is nothing to indicate that he's in custody? Like a arrest report or an actual PERSON in a jail cell?


Yeah, what the hell? There's a suspect at large, let's check the jail?
 
2012-07-13 12:03:10 PM
I can read your note that tells me you'll kill me, but I no speaka da engless...
 
2012-07-13 12:03:46 PM

TanClan32773: Time to teach them "Billiards English": The harder you hit 'em, the more English you get outta them.


That is a racist insensitive insulting and Horrible statement!

/I laughed.
 
2012-07-13 12:04:50 PM

Just another Heartland Weirdass: Bit'O'Gristle: "There is nothing to indicate (Mccray) is in custody at this time," Gwinnett police spokesman Cpl. Edwin Ritter said Thursday.

/Um ...wut? There is nothing to indicate that he's in custody? Like a arrest report or an actual PERSON in a jail cell?

Or an indicator light. Now that would be cool.


Hah! Love it.

/Lived in Gwinnett for a year.
 
2012-07-13 12:06:21 PM
Did that guy really think that an accountants office would would have cash on hand? Accountants deal with money so obviously they have a lot of it lying around!
 
2012-07-13 12:21:32 PM

BowtoMogul: My tactic is yelling "Yo Tango No Dinero"

/Only spanish I know


Mas cerveza por favor
 
2012-07-13 12:45:56 PM
FTFA: A security guard told police the car was an older model, four-door, white Cadillac with aftermarket chrome wheels.

umm...that's some fine work there, Lou.
 
2012-07-13 01:04:50 PM
Because there's only ONE older Cadillac with aftermarket chrome wheels driving around Georgia.
 
2012-07-13 02:06:09 PM

macadamnut: Bit'O'Gristle: "There is nothing to indicate (Mccray) is in custody at this time," Gwinnett police spokesman Cpl. Edwin Ritter said Thursday.

/Um ...wut? There is nothing to indicate that he's in custody? Like a arrest report or an actual PERSON in a jail cell?

Yeah, what the hell? There's a suspect at large, let's check the jail?


Believe it or not, people can get arrested for a separate/unrelated crime. I think they were attempting to make sure he wasn't incarcerated for something else before starting a manhunt. It would be foolish to hunt him down when he's already locked up (though it would make for a good Fark thread).

/Did you get the bite you were looking for?
 
2012-07-13 02:11:01 PM

imtheonlylp: FTFA: A security guard told police the car was an older model, four-door, white Cadillac with aftermarket chrome wheels.

umm...that's some fine work there, Lou.


Security guards are routinely told not to engage suspects. Also, the article doesn't state that the guard was armed; engaging a possibly armed suspect, while being unarmed, is universally stupid. Lastly, if the suspect promptly fled after the second robbery attempt, the security guard probably didn't even know the place was getting "robbed" until well after the event took place.
 
2012-07-13 02:32:01 PM

HatMadeOfAss: imtheonlylp: FTFA: A security guard told police the car was an older model, four-door, white Cadillac with aftermarket chrome wheels.

umm...that's some fine work there, Lou.

Security guards are routinely told not to engage suspects. Also, the article doesn't state that the guard was armed; engaging a possibly armed suspect, while being unarmed, is universally stupid. Lastly, if the suspect promptly fled after the second robbery attempt, the security guard probably didn't even know the place was getting "robbed" until well after the event took place.


Then why even pay a security guard? Wouldn't regular employees be able to give the same description? In that case, his job title should be "Professional Crime Witness". He isn't guarding anything, and even if he is, he most certainly isn't securing it. ;)
 
2012-07-13 06:43:16 PM

imtheonlylp: HatMadeOfAss: imtheonlylp: FTFA: A security guard told police the car was an older model, four-door, white Cadillac with aftermarket chrome wheels.

umm...that's some fine work there, Lou.

Security guards are routinely told not to engage suspects. Also, the article doesn't state that the guard was armed; engaging a possibly armed suspect, while being unarmed, is universally stupid. Lastly, if the suspect promptly fled after the second robbery attempt, the security guard probably didn't even know the place was getting "robbed" until well after the event took place.

Then why even pay a security guard? Wouldn't regular employees be able to give the same description? In that case, his job title should be "Professional Crime Witness". He isn't guarding anything, and even if he is, he most certainly isn't securing it. ;)


No argument here. Security guards are pointless.
 
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