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(The Daily Dolt)   The first rule of abortion is don't mention abortion. Seriously, doctors, don't even mention the word, or Texas will take away all of your funding   (thedailydolt.com) divider line 74
    More: Asinine, Rick Perry, Texas, Texas Women  
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1510 clicks; posted to Politics » on 13 Jul 2012 at 10:35 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-13 09:56:53 AM  
Just call it something else. Suggestions:

Uterus Exfoliation
Fetal Emancipation

What else?
 
2012-07-13 10:07:38 AM  
*bangs head on desk*

Oh god we have to get rid of this moran next election.

Can we re-animate a zombie Ann Richards?
 
2012-07-13 10:16:42 AM  

SecretAgentWoman: Can we re-animate a zombie Ann Richards?


Aww man, I didn't know she died.
 
2012-07-13 10:17:51 AM  
"Sending the fetus to live with Jesus"
 
2012-07-13 10:32:53 AM  

Pocket Ninja: "Sending the fetus to live with Jesus"


Yes. You win.
 
2012-07-13 10:38:14 AM  

LRA61380: Just call it something else. Suggestions:

Uterus Exfoliation
Fetal Emancipation

What else?


Artificial Miscarriage.
 
2012-07-13 10:38:22 AM  
Just call it a "waterpipe"
 
2012-07-13 10:39:01 AM  
So if a woman needs an abortion to save her life and remove a dead fetus, is the doctor not allowed to even tell her this...?
 
2012-07-13 10:39:50 AM  
Deep Cleansing Massage
 
2012-07-13 10:40:25 AM  

Satanic_Hamster: So if a woman needs an abortion to save her life and remove a dead fetus, is the doctor not allowed to even tell her this...?


No. Doctor's should not interfere with God's punishment for sluts
 
2012-07-13 10:40:33 AM  

Satanic_Hamster: So if a woman needs an abortion to save her life and remove a dead fetus, is the doctor not allowed to even tell her this...?


They call it "elective abortion," so maybe it's okay in that case?
 
2012-07-13 10:40:40 AM  

qorkfiend: LRA61380: Just call it something else. Suggestions:

Uterus Exfoliation
Fetal Emancipation

What else?

Artificial Miscarriage.


Dropping the kids off at the pool
 
2012-07-13 10:42:55 AM  
The section also requires a TWHP provider to ensure that (1) outside the scope of TWHP, the provider does not perform or promote elective abortions and does not affiliate with an entity that performs or promotes elective abortions; and (2) within the scope of TWHP, the provider does not promote elective abortions, is physically separated from any abortion-providing or abortion-promoting entity, and does not operate under an identification mark that is registered to an entity that performs or promotes elective abortions.

Daily Dolt indeed
 
2012-07-13 10:43:05 AM  

Karac: qorkfiend: LRA61380: Just call it something else. Suggestions:

Uterus Exfoliation
Fetal Emancipation

What else?

Artificial Miscarriage.

Dropping the kids off at the pool


Unpregnancy.
 
2012-07-13 10:43:51 AM  
Here comes the A-word.
 
2012-07-13 10:44:30 AM  
Maybe they should take a hint from Prohibition, and when someone answers the knock on the sketchy back-alley door to the doctor's office, the patient should say, "Steve sent me," and the receptionist should reply, "The owl hoots twice at midnight."
 
2012-07-13 10:44:33 AM  

Karac: qorkfiend: LRA61380: Just call it something else. Suggestions:

Uterus Exfoliation
Fetal Emancipation

What else?

Artificial Miscarriage.

Dropping the kids off at the pool


Uterine Cleansing
 
2012-07-13 10:44:35 AM  
you know it just pisses me off to no end that these republicans are running ads here that say "Obamacare is just putting "bureaucrats" between you and your doctor" and yet all they've been doing for the past 2 years is passing shiat like this and the mandatory transvaginal ultrasound that the patient must pay for. fark all of them.
they scream jobs,jobs,jobs until 2010 then all they can do is obstruct and pass farking social wedge issues.
 
2012-07-13 10:44:55 AM  

CygnusDarius: Karac: qorkfiend: LRA61380: Just call it something else. Suggestions:

Uterus Exfoliation
Fetal Emancipation

What else?

Artificial Miscarriage.

Dropping the kids off at the pool

Unpregnancy.


Was it Cyanide & Happiness that had that Ctrl-Z Baby comic?
 
2012-07-13 10:45:28 AM  
I suggested on that Alabama representative's FB page from the thread yesterday that we abort illegal immigrant's fetuses since we're on the kick of punishing people for the actions of others. Still awaiting a response on that.
 
2012-07-13 10:45:33 AM  

skullkrusher: The section also requires a TWHP provider to ensure that (1) outside the scope of TWHP, the provider does not perform or promote elective abortions and does not affiliate with an entity that performs or promotes elective abortions; and (2) within the scope of TWHP, the provider does not promote elective abortions, is physically separated from any abortion-providing or abortion-promoting entity, and does not operate under an identification mark that is registered to an entity that performs or promotes elective abortions.

Daily Dolt indeed


It would not suprise me in the least if the legal definition of 'elective abortion' in Texas is any pregnancy that does not end in a live birth.
 
2012-07-13 10:46:07 AM  
giving Mitt the business
 
2012-07-13 10:46:10 AM  
Ctrl+Z babby
 
2012-07-13 10:46:11 AM  

theorellior: Maybe they should take a hint from Prohibition, and when someone answers the knock on the sketchy back-alley door to the doctor's office, the patient should say, "Steve sent me," and the receptionist should reply, "The owl hoots twice at midnight."


Ha!

"The eagle flies over Krakow. Now give me some gin in a teacup."
 
2012-07-13 10:46:32 AM  
A scarlet letter for the 21st century?
 
2012-07-13 10:47:24 AM  

Karac: skullkrusher: The section also requires a TWHP provider to ensure that (1) outside the scope of TWHP, the provider does not perform or promote elective abortions and does not affiliate with an entity that performs or promotes elective abortions; and (2) within the scope of TWHP, the provider does not promote elective abortions, is physically separated from any abortion-providing or abortion-promoting entity, and does not operate under an identification mark that is registered to an entity that performs or promotes elective abortions.

Daily Dolt indeed

It would not suprise me in the least if the legal definition of 'elective abortion' in Texas is any pregnancy that does not end in a live birth.


It's only "elective" in the sense that it's not a spontaneous abortion, i.e. miscarriage.
 
2012-07-13 10:48:01 AM  

Lost Thought 00: Satanic_Hamster: So if a woman needs an abortion to save her life and remove a dead fetus, is the doctor not allowed to even tell her this...?

No. Doctor's should not interfere with God's punishment for sluts


I know you're not serious, and so do most other Farkers. Your previous comment alone is more than enough proof of this.

However, the following message is intended for those readers (including account-less lurkers) who actually believe what you wrote:

Say a woman gets raped at knifepoint, gets pregnant because of the rape, and the fetus is both non-viable outside of the womb and sufficiently malformed that carrying the fetus to term would result in the woman's death. Do you still think that's the sort of thing your loving, caring God would want? For someone to pay with their life for someone's sin against them?
 
2012-07-13 10:48:10 AM  

Karac: It would not suprise me in the least if the legal definition of 'elective abortion' in Texas is any pregnancy that does not end in a live birth.


It's when a community comes together and, through the democratic process, decides a woman is too ugly to breed.

Sadly, it hasn't been used since the late 1800's.
 
2012-07-13 10:48:15 AM  
Or they could take a page from the pharmaceutical industry's book, and come up with a good, abstract, "healthcare" name that instills general positive feelings. Like "Chantrex" or "Celebrentor".
 
2012-07-13 10:48:24 AM  

God Is My Co-Pirate: It's only "elective" in the sense that it's not a spontaneous abortion


i.e. Weekend in South Padre.
 
2012-07-13 10:48:41 AM  

skullkrusher: The section also requires a TWHP provider to ensure that (1) outside the scope of TWHP, the provider does not perform or promote elective abortions and does not affiliate with an entity that performs or promotes elective abortions; and (2) within the scope of TWHP, the provider does not promote elective abortions, is physically separated from any abortion-providing or abortion-promoting entity, and does not operate under an identification mark that is registered to an entity that performs or promotes elective abortions.

Daily Dolt indeed


Define elective. It's Texas, after all. They're going to define 'necessary abortion' as narrowly as they can, probably around the realm of "it's never necessary" or MAYBE "the kid is confirmed as the gay, retarded anti-christ, possibly colored".
 
2012-07-13 10:50:37 AM  

purple kool-aid and a jigger of formaldehyde: Karac: qorkfiend: LRA61380: Just call it something else. Suggestions:

Uterus Exfoliation
Fetal Emancipation

What else?

Artificial Miscarriage.

Dropping the kids off at the pool

Uterine Cleansing


Medical extraction of foreign body

// wait - did you mean "abortion" or "cancer"?
 
2012-07-13 10:52:33 AM  
If poor immigrants don't pop out dozens of impoverished children who then attend schools where all the pages are ripped out of the textbooks by the Republican school boards, how will Texas continue to grow its economy on the back of cheap labor?

Think about the future of the state before you criticize this law.
 
2012-07-13 10:56:32 AM  
Just call it babby murder.
 
2012-07-13 10:58:25 AM  

LRA61380: Just call it something else. Suggestions:


Hysterectolonic irrigation.
A red rinse.
A womb with a goo.
A Texas cold 'em.
 
2012-07-13 10:59:31 AM  

Wendy's Chili: If poor immigrants don't pop out dozens of impoverished children who then attend schools where all the pages are ripped out of the textbooks by the Republican school boards, how will Texas continue to grow its economy on the back of cheap labor?

Think about the future of the state before you criticize this law.


Texas is the unaborted, stillborn child of the US, brought home, given a name, loved and held for a night. However, the sun is coming up, the corpse is starting to rot, and we've got live children who need us. Time to let this one go.
 
2012-07-13 11:00:10 AM  

Karac: skullkrusher: The section also requires a TWHP provider to ensure that (1) outside the scope of TWHP, the provider does not perform or promote elective abortions and does not affiliate with an entity that performs or promotes elective abortions; and (2) within the scope of TWHP, the provider does not promote elective abortions, is physically separated from any abortion-providing or abortion-promoting entity, and does not operate under an identification mark that is registered to an entity that performs or promotes elective abortions.

Daily Dolt indeed

It would not suprise me in the least if the legal definition of 'elective abortion' in Texas is any pregnancy that does not end in a live birth.


hehe, good point.
 
2012-07-13 11:03:23 AM  

skullkrusher: The section also requires a TWHP provider to ensure that (1) outside the scope of TWHP, the provider does not perform or promote elective abortions and does not affiliate with an entity that performs or promotes elective abortions; and (2) within the scope of TWHP, the provider does not promote elective abortions, is physically separated from any abortion-providing or abortion-promoting entity, and does not operate under an identification mark that is registered to an entity that performs or promotes elective abortions.

Daily Dolt indeed


I've been assured by Republicans for the last 20 years that there's no such thing as a non-elective abortion. There's never one that is medically necessary, they're ALL elective.
 
2012-07-13 11:28:12 AM  

LRA61380: Satanic_Hamster: So if a woman needs an abortion to save her life and remove a dead fetus, is the doctor not allowed to even tell her this...?

They call it "elective abortion," so maybe it's okay in that case?


The problem is that there is a large gray area. Does it have to be an immediate threat to my life or can it be a threat to someone's life expectancy? What if doctors aren't sure how life threatening the pregnancy is? Are you telling me that doctors can not discuss all options with their patients.

That's appalling.
 
2012-07-13 11:34:00 AM  

LRA61380: Just call it something else. Suggestions:

Uterus Exfoliation
Fetal Emancipation

What else?


Prepartum Infanticide sounds about right.
 
2012-07-13 11:34:51 AM  
Debabification.
 
2012-07-13 11:40:32 AM  
I literally, completely hate anti-abortion nuts' guts.

If someone ran their car into some clinic protestors, I'd stand there and laugh as they screamed in agony from their injuries. If someone threw gas on them and lit them aflame I wouldn't piss on 'em.

Just kidding, I think. I hope.
 
2012-07-13 11:43:45 AM  
Um, if a doctor did mention this option... does that fall under doctor/patient privelige? Seriously, could some lawyer help me out here? I thought all conversations with my doc were held to be like super-sacredly private under the law.
 
2012-07-13 11:43:59 AM  

King Something: Lost Thought 00: Satanic_Hamster: So if a woman needs an abortion to save her life and remove a dead fetus, is the doctor not allowed to even tell her this...?

No. Doctor's should not interfere with God's punishment for sluts

I know you're not serious, and so do most other Farkers. Your previous comment alone is more than enough proof of this.

However, the following message is intended for those readers (including account-less lurkers) who actually believe what you wrote:

Say a woman gets raped at knifepoint, gets pregnant because of the rape, and the fetus is both non-viable outside of the womb and sufficiently malformed that carrying the fetus to term would result in the woman's death. Do you still think that's the sort of thing your loving, caring God would want? For someone to pay with their life for someone's sin against them?


The usual argument I hear against this is that women don't get raped unless they are asking for it or doing SOMETHING that made them deserve it as some kind of divine punishment. So therefore, yeah, that is what God would want.

/this is not what redqueenmeg actually believes
 
2012-07-13 11:45:46 AM  
summer's execution
 
2012-07-13 11:46:08 AM  

King Something: Lost Thought 00: Satanic_Hamster: So if a woman needs an abortion to save her life and remove a dead fetus, is the doctor not allowed to even tell her this...?

No. Doctor's should not interfere with God's punishment for sluts

I know you're not serious, and so do most other Farkers. Your previous comment alone is more than enough proof of this.

However, the following message is intended for those readers (including account-less lurkers) who actually believe what you wrote:

Say a woman gets raped at knifepoint, gets pregnant because of the rape, and the fetus is both non-viable outside of the womb and sufficiently malformed that carrying the fetus to term would result in the woman's death. Do you still think that's the sort of thing your loving, caring God would want? For someone to pay with their life for someone's sin against them?


Hey, don't go interfering with GOD'S PLAN for that gal! We have no idea why God sent this pestilence upon her, but her soul will benefit from suffering through it all.
 
2012-07-13 11:47:06 AM  
Defetustration.
 
2012-07-13 11:48:29 AM  

Gonz: Um, if a doctor did mention this option... does that fall under doctor/patient privelige? Seriously, could some lawyer help me out here? I thought all conversations with my doc were held to be like super-sacredly private under the law.


The doctor-patient privilege only runs in one direction, i.e., the doctor may not divulge what the patient told him/her, but the patient is perfectly free to rat out the doctor.
 
2012-07-13 11:48:54 AM  
Pre-Natal Post-Partum Avoidance Technique
 
2012-07-13 11:53:10 AM  
Proactive cancellation of a tax deduction.
 
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