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(AsiaOne)   It's one thing if you can feel God talking to you. It's another thing if you feel He's saying you're the King of Ghosts and you should castrate yourself   (asiaone.com) divider line 67
    More: Weird, god  
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3153 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Jul 2012 at 12:34 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-13 11:11:39 AM  
You can see his balls in the reflection of the knife.
 
2012-07-13 11:26:25 AM  
God told me I was the King of Boogie Woogie once.


I may have been high at the time.
 
2012-07-13 12:35:58 PM  
Don't judge me, you didn't hear Him.
 
2012-07-13 12:36:57 PM  

Godscrack: You can see his balls in the reflection of the knife.


Brings back memories
 
2012-07-13 12:37:00 PM  
It's one thing if you can feel God talking to you. It's another thing if you feel He's saying you're the King of Ghosts and you should castrate yourself

No it's not. It's the same damn thing. If you hear voices from people that don't exist, you're a nutcase and need to be evaluated by a mental health specialist.
 
2012-07-13 12:37:15 PM  
If you think you are the King of Ghosts, then perhaps castration, thus taking you out of the breeding pool, isn't such a bad idea. In the programming world, we'd say "That's a feature, not a bug".
 
2012-07-13 12:38:29 PM  
Ghost King? How could he castrate himself if he was the King of Ghosts...?
 
2012-07-13 12:40:20 PM  

dittybopper: If you think you are the King of Ghosts, then perhaps castration, thus taking you out of the breeding pool, isn't such a bad idea. In the programming world, we'd say "That's a feature, not a bug".


^
This!!

If he's stupid enough to listen to the voices; he's no great loss.

/ we all know that you shouldn't listen to the voices
 
2012-07-13 12:41:07 PM  
What the King of Ghosts may look like:

www.funinfused.com
 
2012-07-13 12:41:39 PM  
Luv tha pic
 
2012-07-13 12:42:00 PM  
1.bp.blogspot.com
Knows something about this topic
 
2012-07-13 12:42:19 PM  
I have to do what in order to become king of the ghosts?

www.arlingtoncemetery.net
 
2012-07-13 12:42:52 PM  
maybe he thought if he was the King of Ghosts he'd be a billionaire
shamone
 
2012-07-13 12:43:00 PM  
Sounds like a self correcting problem to me
 
2012-07-13 12:43:57 PM  

BurnShrike: It's one thing if you can feel God talking to you. It's another thing if you feel He's saying you're the King of Ghosts and you should castrate yourself

No it's not. It's the same damn thing. If you hear voices from people that don't exist, you're a nutcase and need to be evaluated by a mental health specialist.


A lot of people hear voices - I seem to remember that something like 20% of people do. It doesn't directly signal a mental health issue. It's when you believe those voices are from people or beings or deities that you have mental health issues.
 
2012-07-13 12:45:27 PM  
Lewis Black in reference to that cult of people who committed suicide because they believed a UFO was behind a comet... Part of said cult included no drinking, no smoking, no drugs, and no sex unless you were castrated...

"I want to believe there's this little voice of survival in peoples heads and that when they are standing at the toilet with their pecker and a weed whacker it goes off and says 'Hey I don't think this is a good idea, maybe we should join a bowling team instead.'"
 
2012-07-13 12:46:09 PM  
Came in for "No, actually they're the same thing." Left satisfied.
 
2012-07-13 12:47:00 PM  

Enigmamf: A lot of people hear voices - I seem to remember that something like 20% of people do.


Really? I'd love to see a study on that.

/not being snarky... genuinely curious
 
2012-07-13 12:47:34 PM  
i416.photobucket.com
Looks like my job is done.
 
2012-07-13 12:47:41 PM  
(In a high pitched, squeaky voice) Take it from me, that's not God talking.
 
2012-07-13 12:47:59 PM  

iheartscotch: dittybopper: If you think you are the King of Ghosts, then perhaps castration, thus taking you out of the breeding pool, isn't such a bad idea. In the programming world, we'd say "That's a feature, not a bug".

^
This!!

If he's stupid enough to listen to the voices; he's no great loss.

/ we all know that you shouldn't listen to the voices


I concur as well.
 
2012-07-13 12:48:57 PM  
Honestly self harm is a whole lot less bad than a lot of the outcomes of 'hearing voices'.
 
2012-07-13 12:49:15 PM  
Boring stories on fark all day today.
I demand better ones!
 
2012-07-13 12:49:54 PM  

BurnShrike: It's one thing if you can feel God talking to you. It's another thing if you feel He's saying you're the King of Ghosts and you should castrate yourself

No it's not. It's the same damn thing. If you hear voices from people that don't exist, you're a nutcase and need to be evaluated by a mental health specialist.


Something like 85%of the US population claims that they believe in a personal supernatural being who takes a direct interest in their lives. How come not a single one of them is likely to stop and say, "Well, maybe he's telling the truth."
 
2012-07-13 12:50:51 PM  

Porous Horace: Boring stories on fark all day today.
I demand better ones!


Why wait for someone to do it for you? Since you're so picky, why not go do something that generates a few interesting articles for Fark?

I'll be here waiting for the link.
 
2012-07-13 12:52:32 PM  
I'm pretty sure that's schizophrenia no matter how you slice it subby.
 
2012-07-13 12:52:59 PM  
Where he keeps them now.

encrypted-tbn0.google.com
 
2012-07-13 12:53:43 PM  
well if he had minimum 1 image of child porn on his hard drive, it wouldn't have ALL been in vain.
 
2012-07-13 12:56:53 PM  
I mean yeah, if you're the King of Ghosts... by all means... castrating oneself is the next logical conclusion... But what i don't get why he believed he was the King of Ghosts in the first place.
 
2012-07-13 12:57:01 PM  
Ever read Under the Banner of Heaven? Every other person in that book was having daily conversations and directives from God. Talk about a high concentration of nutters in one area.
 
2012-07-13 12:57:32 PM  

p the boiler: [1.bp.blogspot.com image 500x752]
Knows something about this topic


Actually that wasn't that bad of a movie.
 
2012-07-13 01:00:21 PM  
 
2012-07-13 01:03:15 PM  
I am still trying too think of a down side.
 
2012-07-13 01:04:47 PM  
He performed the castration. then he performed as a soprano.
 
2012-07-13 01:08:11 PM  
Lucky bastard. God only told me that I was the Prince of Poltergeists and that I must circumcise myself. It's so unfair!
 
2012-07-13 01:12:43 PM  

JackieRabbit: Lucky bastard. God only told me that I was the Prince of Poltergeists and that I must circumcise myself. It's so unfair!


You think that's bad I'm a stinkin viceroy.
 
2012-07-13 01:15:47 PM  
What he tells me is

1. You are the King of Cartoons

and

2. Keep the sharp objects away from the Junk Zone
 
2012-07-13 01:15:52 PM  
Don't say 'bath salts', please. Thank you.
 
2012-07-13 01:19:41 PM  
This reminds me of a cartoon I saw recently. Two guys talking at a bar or restaurant. First man says to the other, "You're looking more relaxed now."

Second man replies, "I am, since I no longer hear voices in my head telling me what to do."

First guy asks, "Oh, on meds?"

"Nope, got fired and divorced."

\badabing?
\\Seriously, wasn't the guy who killed John Wilkes Booth a religous nutter who castrated himself too? Too many knives in this thread.
 
2012-07-13 01:20:34 PM  
How dare all of you disrespect this man's concept of spirituality? We have Freedom of Religion in this country and it applies to ALL religions, not just the mainstream ones. Or don't you folks believe all religions are equally deserving of respect?
 
2012-07-13 01:23:08 PM  

gimmegimme: How dare all of you disrespect this man's concept of spirituality? We have Freedom of Religion in this country and it applies to ALL religions, not just the mainstream ones. Or don't you folks believe all religions are equally deserving of respect?


Freedom also means the freedom to disrespect.
They have the freedom to believe what they want and so do I.
I believe there are idiots in this world.
 
2012-07-13 01:24:41 PM  
Finally, a god that tells people to stop reproducing.
 
2012-07-13 01:29:27 PM  

genner: gimmegimme: How dare all of you disrespect this man's concept of spirituality? We have Freedom of Religion in this country and it applies to ALL religions, not just the mainstream ones. Or don't you folks believe all religions are equally deserving of respect?

Freedom also means the freedom to disrespect.
They have the freedom to believe what they want and so do I.
I believe there are idiots in this world.


I just get frustrated. Yahweh tells a man to cut off his son's foreskin and they don't think the believer is weird. But when a man hears a deity tell him to cut off his testes, people make fun of him for his believe and apply logic and reason. It's not consistent thinking.
 
2012-07-13 01:32:48 PM  

gimmegimme: How dare all of you disrespect this man's concept of spirituality? We have Freedom of Religion in this country and it applies to ALL religions, not just the mainstream ones. Or don't you folks believe all religions are equally deserving of respect?


Only the ones that worship me. Fark the rest of them.
 
2012-07-13 01:36:15 PM  
Did she sound like this woman?
mimg.ugo.com
 
2012-07-13 01:44:56 PM  
Why do these castration stories always seem to come out of Asia?
 
2012-07-13 01:47:55 PM  

doczoidberg: Why do these castration stories always seem to come out of Asia?


because that's where the Bath Salts are
 
2012-07-13 01:48:59 PM  

gimmegimme: genner: gimmegimme: How dare all of you disrespect this man's concept of spirituality? We have Freedom of Religion in this country and it applies to ALL religions, not just the mainstream ones. Or don't you folks believe all religions are equally deserving of respect?

Freedom also means the freedom to disrespect.
They have the freedom to believe what they want and so do I.
I believe there are idiots in this world.

I just get frustrated. Yahweh tells a man to cut off his son's foreskin and they don't think the believer is weird. But when a man hears a deity tell him to cut off his testes, people make fun of him for his believe and apply logic and reason. It's not consistent thinking.


It's perfectly consistent if you believe Yahweh is the one true God.
 
2012-07-13 01:49:49 PM  

genner: gimmegimme: genner: gimmegimme: How dare all of you disrespect this man's concept of spirituality? We have Freedom of Religion in this country and it applies to ALL religions, not just the mainstream ones. Or don't you folks believe all religions are equally deserving of respect?

Freedom also means the freedom to disrespect.
They have the freedom to believe what they want and so do I.
I believe there are idiots in this world.

I just get frustrated. Yahweh tells a man to cut off his son's foreskin and they don't think the believer is weird. But when a man hears a deity tell him to cut off his testes, people make fun of him for his believe and apply logic and reason. It's not consistent thinking.

It's perfectly consistent if you believe Yahweh is the one true God.


Right, but what makes Yahweh the one true god any more valid than the other deity?
 
2012-07-13 01:53:08 PM  

gimmegimme:
Right, but what makes Yahweh the one true god any more valid than the other deity?


It says so in the Loch Ness monster's autobiography.
 
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