Meh. For a not outrageous amount of money you can be almost anywhere on earth in less than day.
Show up at the airport early, if possible
Assume the TSA will slowly and sensuously violate you
Bring sufficient food of a type that will not bother everyone around you
Bring some sort of personal entertainment device
Assume the airline will give you nothing but a seat for your money that will eventually arrive at your chosen destination.
Go with the flow and don't expect a blow job.

But high-speed rail? That shiat's just crazy!

killershark

As for the security issues, yea, taking off your shoes and needing three different plastic bins for your backpack and laptop and sweater is ridiculous. I seriously think privatizing may be a better option in that case.


Or we could just get rid of the ridiculous measures and take a sane approach to security.

This is why I fly decent airlines such as American; the price good if you do it right. This past tuesday we were delayed and diverted at DFW (American's hub) due to storms. When we finally got there I missed my connection. After getting some incorrect information, An agent at an otherwise empty counter asked where I was going and said "oh that flight left, let me fix that." and she gave me tickets for a flight leaving in an hour.

I went to the counter for that gate and my name was called to give me a boarding pass. But she quickly took the ticket back before giving it to me and said "let me get you a better seat." She handed it back: first class. Nice. First class in a 737 isn't much to scream about but it still makes a big difference in comfort for a tall guy like me, plus the little amenities are great. It made up for being very delayed getting home and I got a lot of reading done in comfort.

When I arrived at LAX my checked bag of course did not make it on to my new flight, which was expected. I went to the lost bag area and gave them the bag tag and they send it via courier the next day to my house.

While I was in line at the bag counter, this prissy little white girl was all upset that her bag got delayed and was freaking out because she had no clothes. I noted that "wal mart is open 24 hours!" but she didn't think that was good advice.

After she was done with the service rep, the rep said "we're sorry for the inconvenience." and as the girl left she mockingly repeated the phrase under her breath, which I thought was an incredible insult to the service rep who helped her sort out her problem. People like that who make the worst of every situation are the kind of people I avoid like the plague, and remind me of people in the article.

In the mean time I had struck up a conversation with a little old lady from Sri Lanka after I helped her get her heavy bags off the carousel, and she also had a bag or two missing due to the weather mayhem. She did not speak English very well so I helped her through the bag claim process. We had a great time and parted ways after I made sure she had gotten to her hotel shuttle.

I got home at 3:30 in the morning and went to work the next day, but was not upset at all, the delays were due to weather and there's nothing to do but go with the flow. People who take everything personally need an attitude adjustment. You know you've made it as a civilization when people take first world problems way too seriously.

And hats off to American for going out of their way the few times I've ever had trouble flying with them. They seem to suck way less than most of the other domestic airlines out there.

I have flown a lot over the years, and most of it has been good. Sure, I have had a torn bag or a suitcase that did not make my connection or was sent to the wrong airport, but I always got reimbursed for the bag and my luggage was always delivered to my hotel or home. And the only times I have ever missed a connecting flight was when the flight before was delayed a very long time. I always try to pad my connections with about 3 hours. I like to be able to get off the plane, walk for a bit, stretch by legs, and depending on the airport do some shopping. And even though it is expensive, it is often nice to sit down and have something to eat and have a beer.

Airline service sucks because of one inescapable truth: there often is no viable alternative. Enough people will fly irregardless of the level of service that the airlines don't need to give a damn.

Having said that, one major reason why we've seen such a quick downward spiral is because so many people are conditioned to purchase the cheapest of any product. Quality and service are secondary concerns, if they're concerns at all. So when a discount airline drops their price, everyone else does as well because they know that people search based solely on price. You can't stay in business when competing against the discount carriers when your prices are similar but your airline has a superior level of service. Guess what eventually has to give.

Face it, airlines are the metro buses of the sky. The days of creature comforts died a decade or two ago.


/next trip to Europe will be on a cruise line route where they just need to get the boat back to the other side of the ocean

Marcus Aurelius: Here's a hint that you'll have problems: you book a flight with Spirit Air.

Problems with airplanes/airports/the TSA aren't new. At this point, people are wandering like lemmings into it.

I don't understand the hate for Spirit. I fly with them all the time, and it is perfectly adequate for what I contracted for. Ticket-transport. That's it. And they are always crazy to be on time, and usually are. I don't pack like an idiot, don't have to eat and drink every waking minute of my life, so I'm not looking for all this "service" crap. Just get me to where I'm going, and I'm pretty happy.

Window seat on an exit row, Kindle, half a Xanax, sip enough water to stay hydrated, but not enough so you need to pee, forego the meal and stay put unless you're going to mud yourself.

Dinjiin: Airline service sucks because of one inescapable truth: there often is no viable alternative. Enough people will fly irregardless of the level of service that the airlines don't need to give a damn.

Having said that, one major reason why we've seen such a quick downward spiral is because so many people are conditioned to purchase the cheapest of any product. Quality and service are secondary concerns, if they're concerns at all. So when a discount airline drops their price, everyone else does as well because they know that people search based solely on price. You can't stay in business when competing against the discount carriers when your prices are similar but your airline has a superior level of service. Guess what eventually has to give.

Face it, airlines are the metro buses of the sky. The days of creature comforts died a decade or two ago.


/next trip to Europe will be on a cruise line route where they just need to get the boat back to the other side of the ocean

That is so the opposite of 50 years ago. We didn't fly to Canada when we moved here (when I was a baby). We took a ship - the slow way, but so much cheaper AND you could bring all your stuff and the car too!

skinink: Hell is other people.

Not 5 minutes ago I was talking with a co-worker about our weekend plans. He asked me where I planned on going fishing. (It's like a religion here)

Told him I was going to drop the boat in Lake Louise, run it up the channel to Lake Susitna, north into the muskeg, then down into the creek channels that drain into the Little Su.

He looked puzzled. "What fish are in that area?"

"None." I told him. "No people, either. Just bears and mosquitoes." I don't think he got the point.

_{/Mediocre tale, chap}

Just have 4 or 5 doubles in the bar before you board. As long a you remember to take a leak, you'll be good to go.

The people that travel the least complain the most.

James F. Campbell: What is it with you and The Final Countdown?

Oh, ya know. It's a thing.



Englebert Slaptyback: "The worst thing... aren't"?

*mentally kicks subliteratemitter in the 'nads*

I ain't not gonna reckon otherwise, sir.

what_now: Before the flight, she argued with Spirit counter clerks when she learned she had to pay $18 more so her 5-year-old son wouldn't have to sit by himself. When she said she was scared of pedophiles, the fee was waived and the boy was allowed to sit with his father.

Sitting alone in an aisle seat, she slept during the night flight. But when she felt movement, she awoke, she said, to see a man and woman beside her engaging in (warning: graphic content) oral sex.

I call absolute, 100% bullshiat.

I had to look at TFA to see if that's how it was written. It's like warning someone you're about to hit them when your fist is 2" from their face. Nice editing job...

bird girl: I've been flying every other week for the past two years for my job. Some obvious things have happened - stuck on tarmac, lost luggage, having the back of my seat kicked by children old enough to know better, etc. Overall I consider myself lucky.

The worst two things that have happened to me

1. On a red eye from LAX to JFK, within 10 minutes of the plane taking off the drunk idiot next to me fell asleep with his whiskey and coke in his hands and it spilled all over me, my seat, in my shoes, etc.

2. On a trans-Atlantic British Airways flight, we had three choices of meals. Everyone who ate one of the choices (including myself) got food poisoning. People were puking in plastic bags the entire way to New York. And then when we got to New York, people were puking on the floor in customs line. It was disgusting. However, I got a refund, a voucher, and 3 first class upgrades out of it.

/CSS

#1: That happened to me once. About an hour after take-off the guy next to me had a glass of red wine in his hand. I was reading but out of the corner of my eye I noticed he was holding the glass at a bit of an angle. Just as I started to realize that he was asleep, we hit a small bit of turbulence. He twitched and sent the wine flying into my lap. Fortunately I was wearing darkish blue jeans and none of it got on my shirt. I was freaking out but red wine on dark blue jeans is actually invisible. I was moist for a little while but thankfully otherwise no problem.

#2: That's a different kind of flying altogether!

dahmers love zombie: Flying is an uncomfortable, expensive, intrusive, annoying method of travel, where profit and security theater have utterly eclipsed passenger happiness. But as long as people will voluntarily fly Spirit, they'll be the lowest-common-denominator that the other airlines will look to for innovation.

The problem is most people forget its not as expensive and profitable as it used to be. Just 50 years ago, you had a much better experience, but flying was limited to the wealthy or the occasional business traveler. Now, you get consultants who fly every week and families who can afford to fly the whole crew to Disneyland instead of driving. But people are so cheap these days that they look for the lowest cost ticket on Orbitz or Expedia and then biatch when they have to pay to check a bag or get food. Sure, you got a free meal on flights 25 years ago but the ticket was more expensive when you adjust for inflation.

As for the security issues, yea, taking off your shoes and needing three different plastic bins for your backpack and laptop and sweater is ridiculous. I seriously think privatizing may be a better option in that case.

A passenger jet is a bus in the sky. Accept that and it's a little easier to take.

The airlines have to nearly fill every flight just to make any money on it (now, this is them talking, maybe they're exaggerating, but jet fuel is farking expensive, and so are large airplanes), so it's really no surprise that airplane trips now have the glamour and comfort of a slave ship during the Middle Passage.

I've been flying every other week for the past two years for my job. Some obvious things have happened - stuck on tarmac, lost luggage, having the back of my seat kicked by children old enough to know better, etc. Overall I consider myself lucky.

The worst two things that have happened to me

1. On a red eye from LAX to JFK, within 10 minutes of the plane taking off the drunk idiot next to me fell asleep with his whiskey and coke in his hands and it spilled all over me, my seat, in my shoes, etc.

2. On a trans-Atlantic British Airways flight, we had three choices of meals. Everyone who ate one of the choices (including myself) got food poisoning. People were puking in plastic bags the entire way to New York. And then when we got to New York, people were puking on the floor in customs line. It was disgusting. However, I got a refund, a voucher, and 3 first class upgrades out of it.

/CSS

Overbooking.

Hell is other people.

The worst thing about the airlines aren't


"The worst thing... aren't"?

*mentally kicks subliteratemitter in the 'nads*

That all sounds pretty normal, except for the oral sex part which sadly is not normal for me.

The advice was all good but it's 2012. Haven't we all been doing that for 5 years or more?

And another thing. You feel better about a service the more you pay for it(up to a point).

Really cheap cost brings all sorts of complaints about how everything is not perfect. What the fark did you expect?