If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Consumer Traveler)   The worst thing about the airlines aren't the cramped seating, long delays, or lost luggage. It's the people on the planes. "Many passengers book flights knowing full well they will have problems"   (consumertraveler.com) divider line 128
    More: Obvious, ancillary revenues, Dallas-Fort Worth, Spirit Airlines, Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport, DFW, Orbitz, e-government, airlines  
•       •       •

13992 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Jul 2012 at 6:58 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



128 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-07-13 12:01:08 AM

shower_in_my_socks: 1. Buy a good pair of noise-cancelling headphones.

2. Get a window seat.

3. Sit down, put your headphones on, and be left the fark alone for the duration of your flight.

It's really easy.


Bose headphones for air travel are literally the very, very best thing I've spent money on in years (besides that hasty abortion for my ex-GF...god forbid her bipolar genes get passed to another generation)
 
2012-07-13 12:32:50 AM
On my trip two weeks ago, I had both good and bad. On one segment I got upgraded to first class. But when I got home my luggage was missing. I filled out the form and they delivered it to my house 2 hours later.

One thing that really gets me is onboard luggage. Idiots who pack bags that physically won't fit in the overhead bin and still insist on trying to shove all their worldly goods in the bin.

And your kid who keeps kicking the back of my seat. It's not adorable so wipe the smile off your face and do something. I swear no jury will convict if I toss your brat out of a porthole.
 
2012-07-13 12:33:00 AM
It's a trollish thing to say, but I wish people were forbidden to take babies on planes. If any of us tried to take an unstable shiat-puke-piss bomb into an airport, we'd be busted at the first security wicket and slapped with felony charges. The act ought not to be excused when the bio-bomb is nominally sentient.

Parents would see it as an injustice, but there ought to be some sort of special accommodation for babies needing to fly (which would necessarily be expensive) as well as a requirement to demonstrate why the baby has to fly in the first place. Applying common sense, that restriction could apply to any creature that does not have control of its mental processes and bodily fluids. You can step away from an unsanitary baby in a market or get off the bus, and the mother is similarly free take it away where it can't bother others, but everyone is trapped in a plane. "I want little Trent to see Paris (which he'll neither appreciate nor remember)" does not justify playing Russian Roulette with every passenger within squirting range.

Good to get that off my chest.

And yes I was puked on, and spent half the flight wishing for SIDS.
 
2012-07-13 12:35:58 AM

coco ebert: Maybe I just travel a lot and am relatively laid-back, but I feel like air travel is horrible if you let it be. Of course there are the times I've been stuck on the tarmac, or the person in front of me is rude, but I just figure that's farking life. It's not the worst thing in the world. Then again, I've never flown Spirit and I fly trans-Atlantic a lot so the service usually is better once you leave the American airlines. No offense, USians.


Korean Air is awesome. Great service, cute flight attendants and an on-time flight.
 
2012-07-13 12:38:15 AM

coco ebert: Jubeebee: coco ebert: Maybe I just travel a lot and am relatively laid-back, but I feel like air travel is horrible if you let it be. Of course there are the times I've been stuck on the tarmac, or the person in front of me is rude, but I just figure that's farking life. It's not the worst thing in the world. Then again, I've never flown Spirit and I fly trans-Atlantic a lot so the service usually is better once you leave the American airlines. No offense, USians.

You're not the only one. I fly maybe once a year, and two books and a window seat took me from O'Hare to SJS and back last week without any problems. Put some in some earplugs or noise cancelling headphones, and relax.

Not to mention one Xanax goes a LONG way in air travel. That, or a couple of beers.


Xanax is better. Fewer trips to the toilet.
 
2012-07-13 12:39:43 AM

Bucky Katt: coco ebert: Maybe I just travel a lot and am relatively laid-back, but I feel like air travel is horrible if you let it be. Of course there are the times I've been stuck on the tarmac, or the person in front of me is rude, but I just figure that's farking life. It's not the worst thing in the world. Then again, I've never flown Spirit and I fly trans-Atlantic a lot so the service usually is better once you leave the American airlines. No offense, USians.

Korean Air is awesome. Great service, cute flight attendants and an on-time flight.


Food is great too. I wish I could fly that every time.
 
2012-07-13 12:44:26 AM

ShannonKW: It's a trollish thing to say, but I wish people were forbidden to take babies on planes. If any of us tried to take an unstable shiat-puke-piss bomb into an airport, we'd be busted at the first security wicket and slapped with felony charges. The act ought not to be excused when the bio-bomb is nominally sentient.

Parents would see it as an injustice, but there ought to be some sort of special accommodation for babies needing to fly (which would necessarily be expensive) as well as a requirement to demonstrate why the baby has to fly in the first place. Applying common sense, that restriction could apply to any creature that does not have control of its mental processes and bodily fluids. You can step away from an unsanitary baby in a market or get off the bus, and the mother is similarly free take it away where it can't bother others, but everyone is trapped in a plane. "I want little Trent to see Paris (which he'll neither appreciate nor remember)" does not justify playing Russian Roulette with every passenger within squirting range.

Good to get that off my chest.

And yes I was puked on, and spent half the flight wishing for SIDS.


I admire your restraint. If that happened to me I probably would have lost my cool.
 
d3
2012-07-13 12:53:15 AM
I had a business trip to Utah a couple weeks ago. Both the flight out and back I had an aisle seat and a fat-ass person next to me that couldn't help but share my seat. It actually made me miss flying with my kids.
 
2012-07-13 12:56:02 AM

Smeggy Smurf: Otherwise Just Fine: Red Shirt Blues: Otherwise Just Fine: coco ebert: Maybe I just travel a lot and am relatively laid-back, but I feel like air travel is horrible if you let it be. Of course there are the times I've been stuck on the tarmac, or the person in front of me is rude, but I just figure that's farking life. It's not the worst thing in the world. Then again, I've never flown Spirit and I fly trans-Atlantic a lot so the service usually is better once you leave the American airlines. No offense, USians.

Much like our healthcare system, our commercial flight services are horrible.

Why is that?

Yeah but when you fly foreign airlines you run the risk of running into super body odor, not just your average fatty BO. I'm looking at you middle east and south east asia.

This is true of India Air, but they are just as bad as US airlines.

But most of the Asian airlines are amazing compared to US flights.

Real silverware in economy, with complementary wine? Yeah, that's nice. Why does air travel in the US have to suck so bad?

Because FARK YOU that's why


It's passengers' own farkin' fault. When EVERYONE books flights online and automatically sorts by price, this is the nonsense you end up with.

American Airlines spent a fortune about a decade ago reconfiguring their aircraft to give "more legroom throughout coach" on the premise that people would pay an extra $10-20 for comfort. Their sales plummeted, and they did one of the fastest reversals in corporate history.

Continental attempted to keep free meals (in economy) on longer domestic flights after everyone else had cut it, but nobody was willing to pay for it.

Even people who would pay for these things don't when the 'decent' airlines end up on page 5 of their flight search.

And with idiotic corporate travel policies dictating employees purchase 'the least expensive flight(s) that arrive at the destination airport between x:00 and y:00, it's only going to get worse.

/ Flying is great. You're just in the wrong plane. Take a Gulfstream if you want comfort. If you're one of those those unfortunate souls that can't afford to buy their own jet (or borrow their company's), check out NetJets or their Marquis Jet Card. Quite a pleasant travel experience.
// Also, apparently people aren't aware, but most airlines actually DO sell multiple classes of service. If you don't want to be treated like cattle, don't travel cattle-class.
 
2012-07-13 01:09:23 AM
I've already told my wife that if/when we ever have kids, we will NOT take them on a passenger plane until they're at least 6-8 years old. If we *have* to fly anywhere, I'll rent a plane and use my PPL to fly us there myself. I don't care how much extra it will cost, it's worth it to not subject a jetliner full of people to a screaming baby.

I personally believe that all parents should be forced to take a "How To Quiet Your Damn Baby" class before being allowed to take it on an airplane. I fly every other week or so for work, and it amazes me how many parents either don't know how to silence their child, or just plain don't give a damn that it's wailing and pissing off 200+ other people.

Protip: just saying "shhh" to a 5-month old doesn't work. Saw that one today.
 
2012-07-13 01:12:16 AM

bird girl: 2. On a trans-Atlantic British Airways flight, we had three choices of meals. Everyone who ate one of the choices (including myself) got food poisoning. People were puking in plastic bags the entire way to New York. And then when we got to New York, people were puking on the floor in customs line. It was disgusting. However, I got a refund, a voucher, and 3 first class upgrades out of it.



I'm not sure I want to know, but having had food poisoning twice in recent memory I have to ask...what was the toilet situation on that flight...were people crapping their pants? My last adventure in food poisoning was 24 hours of sitting on the toilet while holding a pail or just passed out on my bathroom floor, regaining consciousness long enough to puke/diarrhea and pass out again. I think if I had to go through that on a flight I'd flag down an air marshal to shoot me.
 
2012-07-13 01:22:11 AM

Calmamity: Jubeebee: coco ebert: Maybe I just travel a lot and am relatively laid-back, but I feel like air travel is horrible if you let it be. Of course there are the times I've been stuck on the tarmac, or the person in front of me is rude, but I just figure that's farking life. It's not the worst thing in the world. Then again, I've never flown Spirit and I fly trans-Atlantic a lot so the service usually is better once you leave the American airlines. No offense, USians.

You're not the only one. I fly maybe once a year, and two books and a window seat took me from O'Hare to SJS and back last week without any problems. Put some in some earplugs or noise cancelling headphones, and relax.

You both sound short.


You sound fat.
 
2012-07-13 01:51:48 AM

star_topology: Overbooking.


This!!
 
2012-07-13 06:18:25 AM

Eriond: I've already told my wife that if/when we ever have kids, we will NOT take them on a passenger plane until they're at least 6-8 years old. If we *have* to fly anywhere, I'll rent a plane and use my PPL to fly us there myself. I don't care how much extra it will cost, it's worth it to not subject a jetliner full of people to a screaming baby.

I personally believe that all parents should be forced to take a "How To Quiet Your Damn Baby" class before being allowed to take it on an airplane. I fly every other week or so for work, and it amazes me how many parents either don't know how to silence their child, or just plain don't give a damn that it's wailing and pissing off 200+ other people.

Protip: just saying "shhh" to a 5-month old doesn't work. Saw that one today.


The best laid plans of mice and men.......

Everyone's an expert on how to raise kids before they have one.
 
2012-07-13 07:17:38 AM

vincentfox: I personally believe that all parents should be forced to take a "How To Quiet Your Damn Baby" class before being allowed to take it on an airplane. I fly every other week or so for work, and it amazes me how many parents either don't know how to silence their child, or just plain don't give a damn that it's wailing and pissing off 200+ other people.

Protip: just saying "shhh" to a 5-month old doesn't work. Saw that one today.

The best laid plans of mice and men.......

Everyone's an expert on how to raise kids before they have one.


I don't have kids, nor do I know how to raise them, but I have observed stark differences in this skill among certain national and cultural groups, which suggest to me that large swathes of the child-rearing population are incompetent, negligent, or too complacent to take the attitude, "I know what I'm doing; don't question me!" I ain't a doctor, but may be able to spot malpractice when I see it.

The worst parents I ever saw were Chinese. They seemed to bear some obnoxious cultural assumptions such as that a child is an appendage of its mother and ought to be dragged wherever she goes whether or not it has any business there; that a normal feature of crowded public spaces is a large number of squealing, stinking babies; and that force-feeding your infant until it barfs is part of devoted motherhood. This is understandable given that the Chinese like urban noise, are indifferent to the stink, and think that obese babies are cute and symbolic of prosperity. Just the same anyone could see that they could do better. You don't need to be a parent.

Oddly, the best parents I've seen were peninsular (Khaleeji) Arabs. This is odd because they aren't particularly disciplined and orderly even when they grow up, their women can be very childish and selfish, and they seem to have about 10 babies per mother. Yet, in 5 years of flying around the Gulf I've never seen an Arab baby abandoned to plague an airport or cabin. So there are groups that appear to have it right too. Don't need to have a baby to see that.
 
2012-07-13 07:20:07 AM

coco ebert: Maybe I just travel a lot and am relatively laid-back, but I feel like air travel is horrible if you let it be. Of course there are the times I've been stuck on the tarmac, or the person in front of me is rude, but I just figure that's farking life. It's not the worst thing in the world. Then again, I've never flown Spirit and I fly trans-Atlantic a lot so the service usually is better once you leave the American airlines. No offense, USians.


I fly a lot and you're right: it's going to be a horrible experience if you let it be. Kids are going to cry, the guy sitting next to you may have bathed in Axe or smell like old cheese, but wtf can you do about it? Grin and bear it, it's not forever. Air travel is no longer the exciting experience it once was (and I glad I'm old enough to remember when flying was an exciting, pleasurable experience), it's just a means to get from point A to point B.
 
2012-07-13 08:05:29 AM

shower_in_my_socks: 1. Buy a good pair of noise-cancelling headphones.

2. Get a window seat.

3. Sit down, put your headphones on, and be left the fark alone for the duration of your flight.

It's really easy.


4. Dont ever fly with Moroccans.

5. If you must, use lots of painkillers, as you wont give two shiates about anything else.
 
2012-07-13 08:38:45 AM
In other news. Many people go shopping knowing full well that Asses are out there
 
2012-07-13 09:21:18 AM
The simple fact is that biatching and moaning is a hobby for a lot of people. They don't have power or control in their own lives, so they live for those few moments when they're right, dammit, and by God someone's going to pay.

My old landlord in CA was one of those guys. Miserable fat self-righteous bugger - if he was happy, he just wouldn't be happy. He thrived on meaningless conflict. He'd actively seek out situations where there was a good chance he'd get his pizza later than promised, or a store wouldn't honor a coupon, etc., and then just go off on some minimum-wage lackey.

Don't believe me? Work in any retail environment for a week. You'll meet at least one of them every single day.
 
2012-07-13 10:27:27 AM

Hongcouver: Mock26: I like to be able to get off the plane, walk for a bit, stretch by legs, and depending on the airport do some shopping. And even though it is expensive, it is often nice to sit down and have something to eat and have a beer.

Welcome, paid troll for the airline industry.

Shopping at the airport was the giveaway you shill, nobody shops at the airport because they won't let you on to a plane with most of the crap you could buy at an airport.

/gee honey, maybe we should price check that La-Z-Boy recliner you wanted...AT THE AIRPORT.


You caught me. I am a shill. I get paid $65,000 a year to hang out on the internet and encourage people to shop at the airports that they visit. You are the first person in 10 years to catch me. Good for you!
 
2012-07-13 11:08:38 AM

bird girl: On a trans-Atlantic British Airways flight, we had three choices of meals. Everyone who ate one of the choices (including myself) got food poisoning.


img.skitch.com
 
2012-07-13 11:28:21 AM
If you think that the people on US carriers are hard to deal with, try taking a domestic flight within China. The type of people you have on some of these flight that go to the off-the-beaten-path cities and towns aren't exactly very familiar with the customs of flight, travel, or just about any form of civilized existence.

I watched a flight attendant have to physically restrain an economy passenger from walking into the 1st class cabin so he can use that bathroom instead. The guy could not grasp the concept of the cabin class system.

The guy sitting behind me, i think was the first time hes ever left his farm before. His idea of "talking in a whisper to his friend next to him" couldn't even be drowned out with my noise-cancelling headphones.

Then there was the woman who decided to change her baby at her seat, using the tray table. Because those tray tables were designed to safely hold the weight of a 20 pound kid.

/bunch of savages
 
2012-07-13 11:46:13 AM

ShannonKW: The worst parents I ever saw were Chinese.


I took a Cathay Pacific flight from JFK to Hong Kong, and I can say it was the loudest, most awful flight I've ever been on. Not sure if it's all the time, but when I went, it was grandmothers and babies season.

As loud as Chinese people can be, I think the worst parents I've EVER seen anywhere are Indian and Middle Eastern parents. If they have a son they will make absolutely no effort to discipline it. I've seen their sons run around restaurants, scream for 10 hours straight, throw cell phones, and punch mothers. But dad doesn't give a crap and mom is in capable (or won't) discipline.
 
2012-07-13 01:14:11 PM
So, after reading all this, I have a question of experienced fliers (I haven't flown in over 10 years)

I want to plan a trip to England. What's the best airline and any other helpful hints of international travel?
 
2012-07-13 01:39:06 PM

Active introvert: So, after reading all this, I have a question of experienced fliers (I haven't flown in over 10 years)

I want to plan a trip to England. What's the best airline and any other helpful hints of international travel?


I haven't done any flights to Britain lately, but when i did, BA was good, and i really liked Virgin.
 
2012-07-13 01:51:35 PM

Mock26: Hongcouver: Mock26: I like to be able to get off the plane, walk for a bit, stretch by legs, and depending on the airport do some shopping. And even though it is expensive, it is often nice to sit down and have something to eat and have a beer.

Welcome, paid troll for the airline industry.

Shopping at the airport was the giveaway you shill, nobody shops at the airport because they won't let you on to a plane with most of the crap you could buy at an airport.

/gee honey, maybe we should price check that La-Z-Boy recliner you wanted...AT THE AIRPORT.

You caught me. I am a shill. I get paid $65,000 a year to hang out on the internet and encourage people to shop at the airports that they visit. You are the first person in 10 years to catch me. Good for you!


I generally window shop. Having lots of stuff to look at and space to walk around is a mark of a good airport. I fly for business and spend too much time sitting in airports. Lately, most airports I've been flying to have all been torn up for internal construction. Philly was the worst; 12 months and still can't finish the Burger King restaurant? Blocked off sections of floor for no apparent reason?
 
2012-07-13 09:46:07 PM
Here's a hint that you'll have problems: you book a flight.
(FTFY)
 
2012-07-15 03:13:14 AM

Active introvert: So, after reading all this, I have a question of experienced fliers (I haven't flown in over 10 years)

I want to plan a trip to England. What's the best airline and any other helpful hints of international travel?


Best "hint" is to fly business class. You are treated with respect, and parents can't afford the skyhigh prices for their toddlers so it's quiet. Below are photos from Singapore Airlines new Airbuses (my company paid for this $6000 RT ticket thankfully):

www.mikepirone.com
www.mikepirone.com
 
Displayed 28 of 128 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report