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(CNN)   Christian and Muslim scholars unite to save you from the evils of hotel porn. See? We can all get along   (religion.blogs.cnn.com) divider line 132
    More: Hero, theologies, National Organization for Marriage, human dignity, environmental degradation, porn addiction, Marriott  
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6415 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Jul 2012 at 5:19 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-12 05:41:39 PM  
They can take my pr0n when they pry it from my warm, lubed hands!!
Actually, under those circumstances, it would probably be pretty easy to take my pr0n...damn slippery lube.
 
2012-07-12 05:42:25 PM  
I used to work at the front desk of a hotel, and I knew which PPV movies that clients ordered. I wasn't really weirded out by the porn buys, but I was a bit weirded out by the people who would order the same expensive porn movie over, and over again.
 
2012-07-12 05:42:51 PM  

WhippingBoy: VictoryCabal: A minister was checking in to a hotel, and said to the clerk "I certainly hope the pornography channel in my room is disabled."

The room clerk replied "No, it's just regular porn, you sick fark."

I don't get it.


Just in case you're serious: the joke is implying the minister is in to porn of disabled people
 
2012-07-12 05:43:03 PM  

ordinarysteve: burning bushes


I think they have a cream for that now. And if you're fapping to it, you disgust me.
 
2012-07-12 05:43:18 PM  

Felix_T_Cat: Luckily he's already circumcised.


IIRC he still has to... *ahem* give blood as part of the initiation ceremony. It doesn't count unless the person doing the cutting says the magic words.
 
2012-07-12 05:45:30 PM  

I May Be Crazy But...: ordinarysteve: burning bushes

I think they have a cream for that now. And if you're fapping to it, you disgust me.


I was raised Catholic and that's how my priest told me to pray. Well, only when it was me and him cause then only God could see. Are you saying this isn't the norm?
 
2012-07-12 05:45:58 PM  

Felix_T_Cat: Sock Ruh Tease: Both religions are bad, so convert to Judaism.

Native American friend of mine loves the Bible but can't stand Christians. So he's becoming Jewish. Luckily he's already circumcised.


Strange, the worst parts of the bible, and the ones the fundies get off on, are the Jewish parts.

/The second worst are anything written by Paul.
 
2012-07-12 05:47:45 PM  

Tyrone Slothrop: Felix_T_Cat: Sock Ruh Tease: Both religions are bad, so convert to Judaism.

Native American friend of mine loves the Bible but can't stand Christians. So he's becoming Jewish. Luckily he's already circumcised.

Strange, the worst parts of the bible, and the ones the fundies get off on, are the Jewish parts.

/The second worst are anything written by Paul.


They also like revelations.

/burn it all to the ground
 
2012-07-12 05:48:04 PM  

ordinarysteve: I May Be Crazy But...: ordinarysteve: burning bushes

I think they have a cream for that now. And if you're fapping to it, you disgust me.

I was raised Catholic and that's how my priest told me to pray. Well, only when it was me and him cause then only God could see. Are you saying this isn't the norm?


Great, now I'm confused. I was making an STD joke. What are you doing?
 
2012-07-12 05:48:30 PM  

N-SIGN: I used to work at the front desk of a hotel, and I knew which PPV movies that clients ordered. I wasn't really weirded out by the porn buys, but I was a bit weirded out by the people who would order the same expensive porn movie over, and over again.


Because most people who order porn are through with it in 10-15 minutes. Obviously those people really wanted to see the ending, but could still only get through it 15 minutes at a time.
 
2012-07-12 05:49:32 PM  

CalamitousCrasher: So don't order it?

/Christ, it ain't that hard
//or maybe it is...


Born againers are curious about what real sex may be like. Muslims wonder what any sex when the woman's body is actually not shrouded may be like. And both know that it might induce a boner in the little boy they just met at the pool and invited up for a soft drink.
 
2012-07-12 05:50:02 PM  

Tyrone Slothrop: Felix_T_Cat: Sock Ruh Tease: Both religions are bad, so convert to Judaism.

Native American friend of mine loves the Bible but can't stand Christians. So he's becoming Jewish. Luckily he's already circumcised.

Strange, the worst parts of the bible, and the ones the fundies get off on, are the Jewish parts.

/The second worst are anything written by Paul.



Er, Paul was Jewish.

Coincidence?
 
2012-07-12 05:52:10 PM  

I May Be Crazy But...: ordinarysteve: I May Be Crazy But...: ordinarysteve: burning bushes

Great, now I'm confused. I was making an STD joke. What are you doing?


"And if you're fapping to it, you disgust me." I thought you meant fapping to the bible. Anyways I was trying to say that religious folk should not be authorities on everyone else's sexual activities.
 
2012-07-12 05:52:16 PM  

clyph: D-Liver: Darth_Lukecash: Correct me if I am wrong, isn't one of the major chains that have a porn offerings, also a ultra conservative?

The Mormon Church, through the Marriott Hotel chain, is one of the largest purveyors of pornography in the world, although they're phasing it out over the next five years,

Yeah I'm sure that's entirely because teh pr0n is ebbil, and has nothing to do with the fact that practically no one is dumb enough to PAY for pr0n when you've got free internet.



As someone who was working for Marriott until very, very recently let me tell you that you're woefully overestimating people. I was working in their furnished apartments division, and we provide free internet too (your own private cable modem and router even!), and we STILL had plenty of guests order pay per view porn.

I had to call a guy a few weeks ago because he actually ran up the cable bill ordering so much porn that he hit the goddamn billing cap (it was well over $300 that month). He ended up trying to directly pay off our account for his apartment with his own credit card so he could get the bill paid so he could order more PPV porn (screwed up my damn bulk billing account).

So yeah... You'd THINK that people wouldn't order porn in hotels, but that's simply not the case. Mr. Marriott is indeed very conservative, and getting moreso by the day. I have no doubt that is why they're phasing out the porn.

It wasn't long ago he had a bunch of us Marriott employees' attention in a meeting and decided to go off on a tangent and rant about how bad Obama was and how he hoped everyone would not vote for him.
 
2012-07-12 05:53:11 PM  

God-is-a-Taco: WhippingBoy: VictoryCabal: A minister was checking in to a hotel, and said to the clerk "I certainly hope the pornography channel in my room is disabled."

The room clerk replied "No, it's just regular porn, you sick fark."

I don't get it.

Just in case you're serious: the joke is implying the minister is in to porn of disabled people


No, I mean I don't get it. Where does one obtain such a thing? My "friend" is curious.
 
2012-07-12 05:55:04 PM  
I must say, I am utterly fascinated by the painfully disconnected conversation between ordinarysteve and I May Be Crazy But....
 
2012-07-12 05:56:46 PM  
What's next, will the hotel wifi use something like websense?
 
2012-07-12 05:58:08 PM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: If I wanted to waste $12.99 for no actual sex I'd just take my wife to Golden Corral for dinner.


Zing!!!!

/I sadly can relate
 
2012-07-12 05:58:15 PM  
I for one am outraged...OUTRAGED that XXXchurch.com is not full of hot nun-on-nun-on-priest action!

/outraged!
 
2012-07-12 05:59:16 PM  
There were 69 comments when I saw this greenlight
 
2012-07-12 05:59:24 PM  
I can't fap to this...
 
2012-07-12 05:59:33 PM  

ordinarysteve: I May Be Crazy But...: ordinarysteve: I May Be Crazy But...: ordinarysteve: burning bushes

Great, now I'm confused. I was making an STD joke. What are you doing?

"And if you're fapping to it, you disgust me." I thought you meant fapping to the bible. Anyways I was trying to say that religious folk should not be authorities on everyone else's sexual activities.


The paper isn't so good for... cleaning up. Much better as rolling papers. Or, uh, that's what a friend told me. Not really a friend, just a guy I know. Yeah, that's the ticket.
 
2012-07-12 06:01:01 PM  

Amos Quito: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Just don't look...Just don't look...


Christians and Muslims have no will power.


Apparently they don't have much won't power, either
 
2012-07-12 06:05:01 PM  

Killer Cars: I must say, I am utterly fascinated by the painfully disconnected conversation between ordinarysteve and I May Be Crazy But....


If you've enjoyed this, buy our new book, Two People Talking Past Each Other, where we tackle enthralling subjects such as "On which side of the road is the grass better?" and "Why did the chicken cross the road?" in two part dis-harmony!
 
2012-07-12 06:06:43 PM  
Does anyone else think this is just like the Daniel Tosh rape joke thing? Religious fanatics look at statistics and think that porn leads to rape. Feminists use words like Rape Culture and think that Tosh's statement somehow encourages rape. Both groups get really angry, write nasty letters, want something taken off the airwaves.
Let the Christian and Muslim groups boycott the hotels, and let the feminists boycott Comedy Central. Let me enjoy both, please.
 
2012-07-12 06:15:53 PM  

elsuavio: Does anyone else think this is just like the Daniel Tosh rape joke thing? Religious fanatics look at statistics and think that porn leads to rape. Feminists use words like Rape Culture and think that Tosh's statement somehow encourages rape. Both groups get really angry, write nasty letters, want something taken off the airwaves.
Let the Christian and Muslim groups boycott the hotels, and let the feminists boycott Comedy Central. Let me enjoy both, please.


I rather they just boycott Tosh.0 for being a bad show.
 
2012-07-12 06:16:56 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Amos Quito: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Just don't look...Just don't look...


Christians and Muslims have no will power.

Apparently they don't have much won't power, either



Heh!
 
2012-07-12 06:25:36 PM  
Yup, you just can't meddle in other peoples' lives and force your batchit moral opinions on them with out help.
As it should be.
But we have to quit enabling these dogma merchants.
 
2012-07-12 06:27:49 PM  
I've never actually purchased hotel porn. But I bookmarked their link to cleanhotels.com. It looks useful as a travel planner, to avoid spending my money at hotels run by the self-righteous.
 
2012-07-12 06:31:03 PM  
Are they going after it to lower prices. Or can they just not control themselves.
 
2012-07-12 06:36:26 PM  
I've never understood the religious viewpoint that sex is evil.
 
2012-07-12 06:41:32 PM  

JuggleGeek: I've never understood the religious viewpoint that sex is evil.



Population control.
 
2012-07-12 06:43:40 PM  

JuggleGeek: I've never understood the religious viewpoint that sex is evil.


Sins of the flesh. I don't understand the interference with free will, especially from my church (Catholic). Good Grief, we have confession and last rites to tidy up sins.
 
2012-07-12 06:46:49 PM  

simplicimus: JuggleGeek: I've never understood the religious viewpoint that sex is evil.

Sins of the flesh. I don't understand the interference with free will, especially from my church (Catholic). Good Grief, we have confession and last rites to tidy up sins.


And you've got to get your money's worth, since Jesus already paid, amiright?
 
2012-07-12 06:49:03 PM  

JuggleGeek: I've never understood the religious viewpoint that sex is evil.


Religion is about control -- controlling what you think and what you do with your money.

If you're thinking about sex, you're not thinking about what the priest/preacher/rabbi/imam wants you to think about.

Money spent in the pursuit of tail is money the priest/preacher/rabbi/imam will never get his hands on.

Plus, people who are wracked with self-loathing and guilt over their basic bodily functions are much easier to control.
 
2012-07-12 06:50:01 PM  

I May Be Crazy But...: simplicimus: JuggleGeek: I've never understood the religious viewpoint that sex is evil.

Sins of the flesh. I don't understand the interference with free will, especially from my church (Catholic). Good Grief, we have confession and last rites to tidy up sins.

And you've got to get your money's worth, since Jesus already paid, amiright?


Well, yeah, we're free from original sin via Jesus. Our own personal sins? They just require repentance, even if you have to go to confession every week for the same darned sins.
 
2012-07-12 06:52:49 PM  
they didn't say anything about booze, room service, escorts, smoking rooms, dirty dancing, burning bibles or any other hotel activity, just porn.

I suppose they would also not be able to provide wireless access to guests.
 
2012-07-12 06:53:28 PM  

simplicimus: Well, yeah, we're free from original sin via Jesus. Our own personal sins? They just require repentance, even if you have to go to confession every week for the same darned sins.


Can I get a bulk discount, then?
 
2012-07-12 06:56:13 PM  

I May Be Crazy But...: simplicimus: Well, yeah, we're free from original sin via Jesus. Our own personal sins? They just require repentance, even if you have to go to confession every week for the same darned sins.

Can I get a bulk discount, then?


I think the Church is back to selling Indulgences, your basic "Get out of Hell Free" card.
 
2012-07-12 06:59:18 PM  

simplicimus: I think the Church is back to selling Indulgences, your basic "Get out of Hell Free" card.


Maybe I ought to look into this religion business. This forgiveness... does it extend to mothers in law?

/"mother in laws"?
 
2012-07-12 07:01:54 PM  

I May Be Crazy But...: simplicimus: I think the Church is back to selling Indulgences, your basic "Get out of Hell Free" card.

Maybe I ought to look into this religion business. This forgiveness... does it extend to mothers in law?

/"mother in laws"?


If you're talking about disposing of MIL's, sure. If you're interested in saving her soul, you have to pray and light candles.
 
2012-07-12 07:03:50 PM  

JuggleGeek: I've never understood the religious viewpoint that sex is evil.


Partially it dates from a period in time when birth control did not exist, only men could earn enough to support a family, bastard children were the sole responsibility of the mother, and people died from infectious disease and famine more often than anything else. In other words, it served the requirements of humanity to promote healthier living conditions for children. This is why it is said that sex out of wedlock is a sin, while sex with your spouse is not. Most laws of religions are similarly written to support human civilization and to dissuade people from actions that could cause the breakdown of a smaller civilization. This is why selflessness, marriage, respect for just authority, service to others, aiding the sick and infirm, etc. are all promoted by ancient religions. Short answer: it's better for everybody else in society if you marry one person and only have sex with them.

Partially it relates to the Christian Augustinian view (that's Augustine of Hippo, or St. Augustin, dating from the fall of Rome) that the material world served no purpose but to prepare us for the afterlife, and indulging in any sins of carnal or material in nature would be to detract from what God wanted us to be doing.

Finally, it also relates to how Christianity separated itself from the other religions of the ancient world where sex was often a form of worship.

In other words, it has very little to do with good and evil, and very much to do with promoting Christian thinking and belief and strengthening Christian communities. Today, we do not need these rules and we establish the strength of our civilization and culture in other ways, but religion is notoriously slow to update its dogma, especially when believers have reformations that continually dig up old rules that no longer make sense (protestants, puritans, evangelicals, latter-day saints, jehovah's witnesses etc.). Notice that every 100 years or so since the Protestant Reformation there is a group of Christians that takes another step away from mainstream Christianity towards even more strict adherence to literal Bible interpretations.
 
2012-07-12 07:11:11 PM  

Bacon Bits: JuggleGeek: I've never understood the religious viewpoint that sex is evil.

Partially it dates from a period in time when birth control did not exist, only men could earn enough to support a family, bastard children were the sole responsibility of the mother, and people died from infectious disease and famine more often than anything else. In other words, it served the requirements of humanity to promote healthier living conditions for children. This is why it is said that sex out of wedlock is a sin, while sex with your spouse is not. Most laws of religions are similarly written to support human civilization and to dissuade people from actions that could cause the breakdown of a smaller civilization. This is why selflessness, marriage, respect for just authority, service to others, aiding the sick and infirm, etc. are all promoted by ancient religions. Short answer: it's better for everybody else in society if you marry one person and only have sex with them.

Partially it relates to the Christian Augustinian view (that's Augustine of Hippo, or St. Augustin, dating from the fall of Rome) that the material world served no purpose but to prepare us for the afterlife, and indulging in any sins of carnal or material in nature would be to detract from what God wanted us to be doing.


Figures a fat chick made up those rules.
 
2012-07-12 07:18:17 PM  

BSABSVR: Proof that the people who scream loudest about the onset of Sharia law are just upset about the brand name, not the product.


+ 1 and a cookie.
 
2012-07-12 07:25:16 PM  

Bacon Bits: JuggleGeek: I've never understood the religious viewpoint that sex is evil.

This is why it is said that sex out of wedlock is a sin, while sex with your spouse is not. ..


Well, now that my Church has taken a hard right turn, I might want to play "Confuse a Priest" sometime. Married wife #1, death did us part. Wife #2 had her reproductive parts removed for medical reasons. Since sex is now concentrated on reproduction only, does this mean I can't have sex anymore?
 
2012-07-12 07:37:51 PM  

simplicimus: Bacon Bits: JuggleGeek: I've never understood the religious viewpoint that sex is evil.

This is why it is said that sex out of wedlock is a sin, while sex with your spouse is not. ..

Well, now that my Church has taken a hard right turn, I might want to play "Confuse a Priest" sometime. Married wife #1, death did us part. Wife #2 had her reproductive parts removed for medical reasons. Since sex is now concentrated on reproduction only, does this mean I can't have sex anymore?



Heavens no!

Just become a priest and boy oh boy!!!
 
2012-07-12 07:41:12 PM  

simplicimus: I May Be Crazy But...: simplicimus: Well, yeah, we're free from original sin via Jesus. Our own personal sins? They just require repentance, even if you have to go to confession every week for the same darned sins.

Can I get a bulk discount, then?

I think the Church is back to selling Indulgences, your basic "Get out of Hell Free" card.


"Who's it signed by?"

"Both popes..."
 
2012-07-12 07:45:37 PM  

UHC2005: simplicimus: I May Be Crazy But...: simplicimus: Well, yeah, we're free from original sin via Jesus. Our own personal sins? They just require repentance, even if you have to go to confession every week for the same darned sins.

Can I get a bulk discount, then?

I think the Church is back to selling Indulgences, your basic "Get out of Hell Free" card.

"Who's it signed by?"

"Both popes..."


Ah, good times, good times.
 
2012-07-12 07:46:59 PM  

simplicimus: Bacon Bits: JuggleGeek: I've never understood the religious viewpoint that sex is evil.

This is why it is said that sex out of wedlock is a sin, while sex with your spouse is not. ..

Well, now that my Church has taken a hard right turn, I might want to play "Confuse a Priest" sometime. Married wife #1, death did us part. Wife #2 had her reproductive parts removed for medical reasons. Since sex is now concentrated on reproduction only, does this mean I can't have sex anymore?


That's not confusing. That's easy... No, you can't have sex any more. If you can't make more tithers disciples for our religion, then what good are you? You need to repress your sexuality and eventually go on a rape-and-murder rampage. When you do this, we will forgive you for your sins. But whatever, you do, DO NOT WATCH HOTEL PORN!

Make sense? Thought so.
 
2012-07-12 07:48:28 PM  

Fark Me To Tears: simplicimus: Bacon Bits: JuggleGeek: I've never understood the religious viewpoint that sex is evil.

This is why it is said that sex out of wedlock is a sin, while sex with your spouse is not. ..

Well, now that my Church has taken a hard right turn, I might want to play "Confuse a Priest" sometime. Married wife #1, death did us part. Wife #2 had her reproductive parts removed for medical reasons. Since sex is now concentrated on reproduction only, does this mean I can't have sex anymore?

That's not confusing. That's easy... No, you can't have sex any more. If you can't make more tithers disciples for our religion, then what good are you? You need to repress your sexuality and eventually go on a rape-and-murder rampage. When you do this, we will forgive you for your sins. But whatever, you do, DO NOT WATCH HOTEL PORN!

Make sense? Thought so.


The part about not watching hotel porn always makes sense...
 
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