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(Cracked)   In which a Fox News plagiarizer is busted. By Cracked   ( divider line
    More: Amusing, Fox News, sociopaths, pirates, Googled  
•       •       •

36149 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Jul 2012 at 3:47 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2012-07-12 04:04:15 PM  
6 votes:
Seanbaby is funny.

With Krinkles the Clown as the mascot, every serving of Sugar Krinkles now had the vitamins and minerals of one handful of flesh and the fear you need to get you going in the morning. The prize inside every box was whispers. Whenever you lost a kitchen knife in 1969, you would somehow always find it inside Post's Sugar Krinkles. The side of the box had photos of missing children, but each of them was labeled "Ingredients."

Sugar Krinkles was eventually pulled from the shelf, but Krinkles the Clown continued to find work. He now appears in mirrors every time you look away from them.
2012-07-12 02:20:31 PM  
6 votes:
Cracked writers are usually garbage but I'll admit this one made a couple of good burns.

"If there's anyone who's figured out how punch a hole through unorificed fruit skin with a limp gummy shape, it's the men farking you."
2012-07-12 04:50:33 PM  
5 votes:
If you are having trouble with the link and understanding its relevance to the headline or anything else, just follow the simple instructions below:
2012-07-12 04:19:58 PM  
5 votes:
Here's an oldie but goodie: convince the style and beauty editor to write an article on "top 10 romantic pranks." Or for that matter, top 10 anything that she'll have to think up on her own. She'll end with 5 ideas that make her sound like she has the IQ of a 2x4 and 5 more ideas she had to find by Googling stuff from other people's articles.

Make sure to write "gotcha" on the bottom of the cardboard box they give her to clean out her cubicle at the end of the day. She'll have no idea why she lost her job, but she'll think the cardboard box is somehow responsible!
2012-07-12 04:25:41 PM  
3 votes:

Nina_Hartley's_Ass: "Practical Jokes for Mormons"

Tempt him into engaging in marital relations with you, then steal his sacred Mormon underpants post-coitus. What mirth when he discovers he can't get into heaven!

// not intended as a factual understanding of the Mormon faith
2012-07-12 04:23:01 PM  
3 votes:

Bedstead Polisher: Is that why I'm single? Because I don't do those types of things? Is that the secret?

Do guys like psycho retards?

We're pretty flexible.
2012-07-12 09:26:51 PM  
2 votes:
2012-07-12 05:30:41 PM  
2 votes:

Gosling: tetsoushima: Way to link to the second page.

Subby. My mistake; sorry about that. Though to be fair, that's where the bust happens.

If you want your Fark apology to be taken seriously, you have to do it in meme form. You of all people should know that, Gosling.
2012-07-12 04:21:33 PM  
2 votes:
"Practical Jokes for Mormons"
2012-07-12 04:12:55 PM  
2 votes:
Only the pedophiles at would used material from a children's website as erotic advice.
2012-07-12 03:50:41 PM  
2 votes:
Way to link to the second page.
2012-07-13 12:05:44 PM  
1 vote:
I read that list, and I think even Jean Teasdale might find some of those cheesy... Or at the very least, they make too little use of Love Is comics and Precious Moments Chapel memorabilia.

And fark you if you get tape goo on the bottom of my mouse.

Since so many of you provided a "#11", I thought I'd offer #12, #13 and #14...
2012-07-12 07:09:23 PM  
1 vote:
"If there's anyone who's figured out how punch a hole through unorificed fruit skin with a limp gummy shape, it's the men farking you."

I literally could not draw breath to laugh, holy shiat
2012-07-12 06:46:08 PM  
1 vote:

Raithen: Accuse her of horrible erotic advice and I'd agree, but it is a far cry from plagiarism.

Agreed, but only because Fox News Magazine is a far cry from journalism. Stupid, batfaced snatch is stupid and batfaced, but not a journalist. Plus, she left out these obvious romantic pranks:

1. Open a home pregnancy test and fill in the test area with a blue plus sign. Leave it on the sink in your bathroom.
2. Tell your beau that your mother is coming to live with you for a year.
3. Tell your beau that last night, while you were deep-throating him and cupping his balls, you noticed a lump on one of them. Nothing revs a man's engine like the thought of testicular cancer.
4. Apply fake genital warts to your hoo-ha, then insist on cunnilingus.
5. Open a bunch of condoms and fill them with hand lotion or conditioner, then leave them hanging off the night stand. Then go to Goodwill and get some men's pants -- the kind he'd never wear -- and leave them crumpled up on the floor next to your bed.
2012-07-12 04:50:05 PM  
1 vote:
10 ways to become a statistic when your man flips his collective shiat and hatchets your bothersome ass to death.
2012-07-12 04:47:14 PM  
1 vote:

Kumana Wanalaia: I read number 4 as "save a bottle, fill it with water, and add a few drops of blood..."

wait what? oh, food... coloring.

I did too. In my defense, I regularly sacrifice babies to Satan, so it was on my mind.
2012-07-12 04:46:49 PM  
1 vote:

wraithmare: 11. Substitute rat poison for the sugar in his morning coffee! He'll take a swig, make a face, call you his little minx and then it's hot steamy fun on the kitchen table!

I know of a woman who did that on one occasion, unintentionally. She believed later that she had caused his death when he was found unresponsive on the floor of his office. Fortunately, he had leaned too far back in his broken office chair, fallen and suffered a minor concussion before he had consumed any coffee, and he suffered no lasting injury. He was later transferred to a Brazillian office; I do not know what has become of him since.

/seemed an appropriate story to relate during a discussion of plagiarism.
2012-07-12 04:39:57 PM  
1 vote:
I am shocked to find out that Fox News employs incompetent people to disseminate false information and/or information "recycled" from other sources.

Shocked, I tells ya.
2012-07-12 04:28:20 PM  
1 vote:
Super gluing a coin to the floor is lame. As soon as somebody tries to pick it up, it is obviously a prank to them and the fun is over. Here's what you really do if you want fun.

Tear off a corner of a 5 or 10 dollar bill making sure to get the whole dollar amount.
Find a vending machine that is bolted to the floor for safety.
Slide the corner under the machine so that it is sticking out.
Watch as people pull it out thinking that they tore off the corner leaving the rest underneath the machine.
Laugh as they try to move or rock the machine back enough to get the rest of the bill

/what else can you do for fun in the day room in a barracks?
2012-07-12 04:26:32 PM  
1 vote:
11. Link to page 2 of an article after getting a redlight.
2012-07-12 04:19:49 PM  
1 vote:
That reminds me of a quote: "Your manuscript is good and original. But the part that is good is not original, and the part that is original is not good."

It seems Fox News already has a brain-washed following that gobbles up their material without processing it; so why should they make an effort?
2012-07-12 04:11:58 PM  
1 vote:
Put a pillow over the door so it falls on him? pffft if you are gonna do that a bucket of water is the only way to go
2012-07-12 04:09:49 PM  
1 vote:
The Fox tips are really lame and appear to have been lifted so I would expect some derision of the author, but that was just painful to read.

I have bad news for all you romantic pranksters: If this worked and your boyfriend was tied up for hours at the hardware store looking for a "cement humidifier," either he's gay or he was using that time to laugh at you with the other woman he was inside.

Do gay men think things like "cement humidifier" exists?
2012-07-12 04:09:28 PM  
1 vote:

Nana's Vibrator: OK, I know what I'm looking at now that someone had to tell me that it was page 2 of a...column..thing...but:
WTF did I just read and at what point am I supposed to learn of plagiarism? Is Amber Milt a known plagiarizer or is that involved in this article and I didn't see it because I'm dying here without having had a 2nd cup of coffee?

Item #8.

"While I'm on the subject of Amber Milt's tragic shiattiness, I Googled "poking a gummy worm into an apple." To me, the entire idea seemed to violate physics as we know them. I found this article: "7 Kid Pranks to Play on Random Victims." It has the exact same prank, and as you can imagine, the trick is to cut a hole in the apple first. That seems like a weird step to leave out from the woman who earlier gave us the tip on how it's easier to read objects when they exist in our field of vision.

Funny enough, the article that Amber also clearly Googled included other fun pranks like GLUING A COIN TO THE FLOOR, PUTTING TAPE OVER APPLIANCES TO RENDER THEM USELESS and DROPPING FOOD COLORING INTO DRINKS. So let me make this as clear as I can:'s style and beauty editor Amber Milt found an article for children, stole it, and presented it to Fox News readers as erotic material."
2012-07-12 04:04:42 PM  
1 vote:
is this a Todd Margaret style headline, subby?
2012-07-12 04:00:12 PM  
1 vote:
I read number 4 as "save a bottle, fill it with water, and add a few drops of blood..."

wait what? oh, food... coloring.
2012-07-12 03:55:04 PM  
1 vote:
2012-07-12 03:54:33 PM  
1 vote:
so fox ran a list of stuff that generates stress in a relationship..
2012-07-12 03:52:55 PM  
1 vote:
Cracked, nuthin'.

biatch got busted by SeanBaby. Awesome.
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