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(Serious Eats)   On the lunch menu today at the SmugDouche food truck, we have the $666 Douche burger, Kobe beef with foie gras, lobster, caviar, gold leaf, then topped with cave aged gruyere and kopi luwak bbq sauce   (aht.seriouseats.com) divider line 141
    More: Spiffy, Kobe beef, foie gras, food trucks, Photo of the Day, lobsters, douche bags, sauces, gold leaf  
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6883 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Jul 2012 at 3:00 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-12 03:22:39 PM
What kind of idiot would willingly eat a heavy metal as a burger topping?
 
2012-07-12 03:23:24 PM
You guys are morans! You can't get Kobe beef in the states!
 
2012-07-12 03:23:54 PM

Ben Enya: You guys are morans! You can't get Kobe beef in the states!


Who told you that?!
 
2012-07-12 03:24:04 PM
25.media.tumblr.com

The young lady on the right has her nipples pierced.
 
2012-07-12 03:25:38 PM
The massive increase in popularity of Kobe beef in the United States has led to the creation of "Kobe-style" beef, taken from domestically raised Wagyū crossbred with Angus cattle, to meet the demand. Farms in America and Britain have attempted to replicate the Kobe traditions, providing their Wagyū herds with beer. U.S meat producers claim that any differences between their less expensive "Kobe-style" beef and true Kobe beef are largely cosmetic. The cattle are fed American and/or British grass and grain, which is different from the more expensive Japanese feed. Cuts of American "Kobe-style" beef tend to have darker meat and a bolder flavor

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kobe_beef
 
2012-07-12 03:26:16 PM

ferretman: That's nothing....here's a $5,000.00 burger from Las Vegas:
[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x492]

Kobe beef topped with foie gras and black truffle on a brioche truffle bun - with truffle sauce.


why is that 5 grand? is it made with ground up dali lama? I had a prime fillet topped with foie gras and a huge pile of shaved black truffles for under $100 at the Fleur de lis. and the all truffle 7 course dinner at picasso is only $500 and it has a huge serving of foie too...

/calling shenanigans
 
2012-07-12 03:26:28 PM

Ned Stark: Yeah, and there's no such thing as champagne made in the US either.


There are no blowjobs after marriage.
 
2012-07-12 03:27:40 PM
Man, whoever gets to eat my dick after I die is going to get one finely massaged piece of meat. Enjoy that, fella, it took a lot love to make a dick taste that sweet.
 
2012-07-12 03:28:09 PM

Ben Enya: You guys are morans! You can't get Kobe beef in the states!


Shhhhh. The marketing department may be watching.

calm like a bomb: Can somebody tell me where I can get some of this delicious Kobe beef?


Japan. If someone in the US tells you that the beef they are selling you is Kobe, they are lying. Kobe cattle are ritualistically grown only in a small areal around Kobe Japan and nowhere else. Very few cattle are grown each year and none of them are exported.
 
2012-07-12 03:28:41 PM

ferretman: That's nothing....here's a $5,000.00 burger from Las Vegas:
[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x492]

Kobe beef topped with foie gras and black truffle on a brioche truffle bun - with truffle sauce.


Where's the spam?
 
2012-07-12 03:28:55 PM
Please I must make SuSu her medicine money!
 
2012-07-12 03:29:18 PM

mightybaldking: Kobe beef -- Ok, but if I'm shelling out for Kobe, it's going to be a rib steak. Don't grind that shiat up. You ruin it.
with foie gras -- Could be an nice addition, but again, I'm not ruining good foie gras by sticking it in a burger.
lobster -- With beef? Again, wasting a good product.
caviar -- On dark rye bread, with cultured butter and a side of ice clod vodak!!! Don't hide the good ingredients.
gold leaf -- Completely useless ingredient. Does not add flavour. If you need to foodfap this hard, put it on something where it will be visible!
then topped with cave aged gruyere -- This is the only thing that adds to the meal.
kopi luwak bbq sauce -- Let's take the most subtly flavoured (and expensive) ingredient in the world, and completely hide all it's subtlety by burying it in tomato and vinegar.

This is not cooking. This is sourcing expensive ingredients for all the food porn addicts out there. Each one of these ingredients should be showcased on its own, as simply as possible.


thatsthejoke.jpg
 
2012-07-12 03:30:05 PM
Japan doesn't even export Kobe beef. Apparently it's hard as fark to get it Japan, too. I'm not sure if this has been covered yet.

Oh well, off to get a Big Kobe Mac.
 
2012-07-12 03:30:14 PM
Emperor's new clothes.
They'll say it tastes great.
 
2012-07-12 03:30:18 PM

JackieRabbit: calm like a bomb: Can somebody tell me where I can get some of this delicious Kobe beef?

Japan. If someone in the US tells you that the beef they are selling you is Kobe, they are lying. Kobe cattle are ritualistically grown only in a small areal around Kobe Japan and nowhere else. Very few cattle are grown each year and none of them are exported.


Really? We're this far into the thread, and you are the FIRST ONE to mention this!?!
 
2012-07-12 03:30:48 PM

dr.zaeus: So... cat shiat bbq sauce, huh?


It's really more closely related to a mongoose than a cat....
 
2012-07-12 03:30:58 PM

Ozzerama: Japan doesn't even export Kobe beef. Apparently it's hard as fark to get it Japan, too. I'm not sure if this has been covered yet.

Oh well, off to get a Big Kobe Mac.


You know what else you can't get? A villa rental in Tuscany.
 
2012-07-12 03:31:39 PM

dickfreckle: Aside from $600 speaker cables, it's gotta be the most blatantly obvious rip-off that people willingly line up for.


Real estate.
 
2012-07-12 03:32:24 PM
This burger is a great success.

That is, it successfully got the chef into the news for plenty of free advertising.
 
2012-07-12 03:32:48 PM

doubled99: Emperor's new clothes.
They'll say it tastes great.


It probably does. It's likely the best mutherfarking burger you've had. But each one of those ingredients could be put to better use.
 
2012-07-12 03:32:48 PM

mightybaldking: Kobe Beef: Sear both sides. Broil until medium. (you want to melt the fat so that it coats every fibre of muscle tissue). Salt, and pepper if you want. Even montreal steak spice is overpowering.


You forgot step one: Go to Japan.

/Unless you're just trolling us.
//The "montreal steak spice" think kinda makes me think you are
 
2012-07-12 03:33:10 PM
I keep Truffle Sauce in my glove box, to put on my McDoubles
 
2012-07-12 03:34:12 PM

Dinobot: Has someone mentioned yet that there is no Kobe beef here in the US?


theknuckler_33: Did anyone mention that there's no such thing as Kobe beef in America yet?


This makes me smile.
 
2012-07-12 03:35:23 PM
From my understanding, it's hard to get real Kobe, even in Japan. You have to go to a special resturant.

/Maybe they will satuee it in Fugu liver for you if you ask nicely
 
2012-07-12 03:35:39 PM
(picture of Chris Rock)

How much to lick the plate when they are done?
 
2012-07-12 03:35:45 PM
What happens when gold foil hits your fillings. Actually curious.

Also, can you even get Kobe beef here in the USA?
 
2012-07-12 03:36:09 PM
Speaking of things / people with names that sound like Kobe...

www.gamefob.com
 
2012-07-12 03:36:13 PM

naugahyde monkey: ferretman: That's nothing....here's a $5,000.00 burger from Las Vegas:
[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x492]

Kobe beef topped with foie gras and black truffle on a brioche truffle bun - with truffle sauce.

why is that 5 grand? is it made with ground up dali lama? I had a prime fillet topped with foie gras and a huge pile of shaved black truffles for under $100 at the Fleur de lis. and the all truffle 7 course dinner at picasso is only $500 and it has a huge serving of foie too...

/calling shenanigans


I can't vouch for its existence, but companies will often times mark up products 10,000% just so rich people can say "I had a $5000 burger".

I fully believe someone is selling a $5000 burger in Las Vegas. And if its not true, I'm off to start up my own restaurant there today. Its Vegas. People will buy a $5k burger there.
 
2012-07-12 03:36:42 PM

downstairs: mightybaldking: Kobe Beef: Sear both sides. Broil until medium. (you want to melt the fat so that it coats every fibre of muscle tissue). Salt, and pepper if you want. Even montreal steak spice is overpowering.

You forgot step one: Go to Japan.

/Unless you're just trolling us.
//The "montreal steak spice" think kinda makes me think you are


Well, in modern North American parlance, Kobe and Kobe Style are synonymous. I knew they meant American Waygu, but slipped into the same trap as those California Champagne drinkers and those Tennessee Bourbon makers.

Nothing wrong with Montreal Steak Spice. Just don't use it on the finer cuts (too strong). Old Bay tastes like arse though.
 
2012-07-12 03:36:59 PM

Feral Duhbya: Also, can you even get Kobe beef here in the USA?


Not sure, no one has mentioned it yet in this thread except like 15 times.
 
2012-07-12 03:37:00 PM

calm like a bomb: Can somebody tell me where I can get some of this delicious Kobe beef?


Try the new MacKobe with cheese at your participating MacDonalds.

Also, the bun is made of Doritos.
 
2012-07-12 03:37:09 PM
"The young lady on the right has her nipples pierced."


What is the guy on the left doing ?
 
2012-07-12 03:38:49 PM

Subdue their bellies: calm like a bomb: Can somebody tell me where I can get some of this delicious Kobe beef?

Try the new MacKobe with cheese at your participating MacDonalds.

Also, the bun is made of Doritos.


Holy shiat, actual REAL Doritos? That's going to cost you!
 
2012-07-12 03:39:13 PM
i196.photobucket.com
 
2012-07-12 03:39:19 PM

mightybaldking: Nothing wrong with Montreal Steak Spice. Just don't use it on the finer cuts (too strong). Old Bay tastes like arse though.


If your steak needs anything more than salt, you're cooking it wrong.

Old Bay?!? Never heard of anyone trying to add that to steak. Ewwww... its for seafood, and even then there's better stuff for seafood.
 
2012-07-12 03:40:02 PM

spentmiles: Man, whoever gets to eat my dick after I die is going to get one finely massaged piece of meat. Enjoy that, fella, it took a lot love to make a dick taste that sweet.


Okay, who ordered the pulled pork?
 
2012-07-12 03:40:45 PM

vudukungfu: Ned Stark: Yeah, and there's no such thing as champagne made in the US either.

There are no blowjobs after marriage.


Corse not. That be like fishing in your own aquarium.
 
2012-07-12 03:42:01 PM

RexTalionis: Unless you are eating in Japan, it's not Kobe. The US doesn't import Kobe beef at all.


cdn.bleacherreport.net

Maybe you thought they meant the other Kobe
 
2012-07-12 03:42:28 PM
You can't just throw a mish mash of expensive ingredients together and pretend like you've created something worth eating.

That sounds truly farking awful.
 
2012-07-12 03:47:52 PM

Ozzerama: Japan doesn't even export Kobe beef. Apparently it's hard as fark to get it Japan, too. I'm not sure if this has been covered yet.

Oh well, off to get a Big Kobe Mac.


It is. I have a friend who does most of his work in Asia and spends quite a bit of time in Japan. He says that it is very hard to find Kobe there and, when it can be found, it is extraordinarily expensive - far more so than the fake stuff passed off as Kobe here. He's had it a few times and says that there is nothing like it anywhere. The last time he found it, he passed because a two once steak cost $500.
 
2012-07-12 03:48:50 PM

Feral Duhbya: What happens when gold foil hits your fillings. Actually curious.

Also, can you even get Kobe beef here in the USA?


Yes you can. Any reasonable person would agree that "Kobe Beef" refers to the style of beef, not nessecarily its point of origin. Cows of the same breed raised the same way will be Kobe beef even if raised in California.

The naysayers are just butthirt weeaboos upset that glorious nippons super special snowflake steaks got Nick'd.
 
2012-07-12 03:49:16 PM

vudukungfu: Ned Stark: Yeah, and there's no such thing as champagne made in the US either.

There are no blowjobs after marriage.


Says you. My wife gives me extra money in my allowance for that.
 
2012-07-12 03:49:29 PM
I want mine without so much rat in it.
 
2012-07-12 03:50:12 PM
If it costs more than $7, your lunch truck sucks.
 
2012-07-12 03:50:20 PM

naugahyde monkey: ferretman: That's nothing....here's a $5,000.00 burger from Las Vegas:
[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x492]

Kobe beef topped with foie gras and black truffle on a brioche truffle bun - with truffle sauce.

why is that 5 grand? is it made with ground up dali lama? I had a prime fillet topped with foie gras and a huge pile of shaved black truffles for under $100 at the Fleur de lis. and the all truffle 7 course dinner at picasso is only $500 and it has a huge serving of foie too...

/calling shenanigans


partly shenanigans on my part...I forgot to include the following:

The Fleur de Lys restaurant in Las Vegas at Mandalay Bay may serve French cuisine but that hasn't stopped them from adapting their own version of an American classic: the hamburger. Called the "Fleurburger 5000" it's no Plain Jane either, featuring a juicy Kobe beef patty topped with a rich truffle sauce and served on a brioche truffle bun. And this burger comes with its own beverage, a bottle of 1990 Chateau Petrus, that is served in Ichendorf Brunello stemware that you get to keep.

It sounds (and looks) delicious -- as well it should for the whopping price tag of $5000. And if you do decide to indulge no worries about bragging rights: you can bring a friend (they get a free burger when you order yours) and you'll also get a certificate in the mail (along with your keepsake glass) so you'll have both a witness and paper proof.

Link
 
2012-07-12 03:52:37 PM

Ned Stark: Feral Duhbya: What happens when gold foil hits your fillings. Actually curious.

Also, can you even get Kobe beef here in the USA?

Yes you can. Any reasonable person would agree that "Kobe Beef" refers to the style of beef, not nessecarily its point of origin. Cows of the same breed raised the same way will be Kobe beef even if raised in California.

The naysayers are just butthirt weeaboos upset that glorious nippons super special snowflake steaks got Nick'd.


Did someone say, "Weeaboo?"

/Gets out bat.
 
2012-07-12 03:53:18 PM

ReapTheChaos: Anyone who would pay $666 for a burger should be declared incompetent, have all their assets seized and distributed among those with the common sense not to spend $666 on a farkING BURGER!!


you sound like a homophobe
 
2012-07-12 03:53:53 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk:
It's a little known fact that here in the US, it's actually named after Kobe Bryant


No wonder they rape you price-wise.
 
2012-07-12 03:54:16 PM

Ned Stark: Feral Duhbya: What happens when gold foil hits your fillings. Actually curious.

Also, can you even get Kobe beef here in the USA?

Yes you can. Any reasonable person would agree that "Kobe Beef" refers to the style of beef, not nessecarily its point of origin. Cows of the same breed raised the same way will be Kobe beef even if raised in California.

The naysayers are just butthirt weeaboos upset that glorious nippons super special snowflake steaks got Nick'd.


I dunno, I see it the other way around. Any cows raised in that fashion outside of Kobe should be labeled Kobe-style, and the actual Kobe cows are the real deal originals. I also fully acknowledge that if you never told anyone, they'd never be able to tell the difference.

It's like how our "Belgian" beers have to be labeled Belgian-style now.
 
2012-07-12 03:56:44 PM

mightybaldking: Old Bay tastes like arse though.


Shun the non-believer.

SHUN
 
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