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(Serious Eats)   On the lunch menu today at the SmugDouche food truck, we have the $666 Douche burger, Kobe beef with foie gras, lobster, caviar, gold leaf, then topped with cave aged gruyere and kopi luwak bbq sauce   (aht.seriouseats.com) divider line 141
    More: Spiffy, Kobe beef, foie gras, food trucks, Photo of the Day, lobsters, douche bags, sauces, gold leaf  
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6883 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Jul 2012 at 3:00 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-12 10:39:18 AM
make mine a double.
 
2012-07-12 10:47:49 AM
At some point, I just stop and wonder why.
 
2012-07-12 10:47:56 AM
Kobe beef

So they're bullshiatting you right out of the gate.
 
2012-07-12 10:48:38 AM
Well I'll be, it really is called the the Douche burger
 
2012-07-12 10:53:10 AM

Relatively Obscure: Kobe beef

So they're bullshiatting you right out of the gate.


Yep. I really wish we'd stop calling it Kobe beef here in America. It's getting farking embarrassing, and I lose any and all respect I may have had for a chef if I see it on a menu.
 
2012-07-12 10:54:22 AM
Unless you are eating in Japan, it's not Kobe. The US doesn't import Kobe beef at all.
 
2012-07-12 10:57:37 AM

Vodka Zombie: Relatively Obscure: Kobe beef

So they're bullshiatting you right out of the gate.

Yep. I really wish we'd stop calling it Kobe beef here in America. It's getting farking embarrassing, and I lose any and all respect I may have had for a chef if I see it on a menu.


It's a little known fact that here in the US, it's actually named after Kobe Bryant

/and don't ask what part of the animal it is
 
2012-07-12 10:59:28 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Vodka Zombie: Relatively Obscure: Kobe beef

So they're bullshiatting you right out of the gate.

Yep. I really wish we'd stop calling it Kobe beef here in America. It's getting farking embarrassing, and I lose any and all respect I may have had for a chef if I see it on a menu.

It's a little known fact that here in the US, it's actually named after Kobe Bryant

/and don't ask what part of the animal it is


Oh... well... If that's the case, mad props to our cannibal cooks.

/By the way, whatever happened to Cobi Jones?
 
2012-07-12 12:07:48 PM
Still waiting for the $999 Herman Cain pizza.
 
2012-07-12 12:10:08 PM
So it's a $666 burger, but it comes wrapped in 3 $100 bills? Wouldn't that actually be a $366 burger?
 
2012-07-12 01:01:46 PM

Relatively Obscure: Kobe beef

So they're bullshiatting you right out of the gate.


Yep.
 
2012-07-12 01:03:16 PM
Oh look, it's the old news burger.
 
2012-07-12 01:15:19 PM

RexTalionis: Unless you are eating in Japan, it's not Kobe. The US doesn't import Kobe beef at all.


If it was Kobe beef, why would you want to grind it into a burger?
 
2012-07-12 01:21:42 PM

RexTalionis: Unless you are eating in Japan, it's not Kobe. The US doesn't import Kobe beef at all.


Yep. Wish people would just quit it with this kobe beef crap. THERE IS NO KOBE BEEF IN AMERICA.
 
2012-07-12 01:31:19 PM
"I guess you think you're... you know, like an authority figure, with that stupid farkin' uniform, huh buddy? Working in a food truck, big farkin' man, huh? You know, these are the limits of your life, man. The rule of your little farkin' truck here. Here's your six hundred sixty-six dollars, you pathetic piece of shiat."

www.movieactors.com
 
2012-07-12 01:34:46 PM
At the restaurant wholesale level, even with gold leaf, that burger would only cost about $40 to make.
 
2012-07-12 02:13:11 PM

Relatively Obscure: Kobe beef

So they're bullshiatting you right out of the gate.


Yeah, I'm not sure how many times it needs to be said before people will get it. It you order 'Kobe' beef in America, it is either smuggled or not actually Kobe beef (guess which one is 99.9% more likely). Legal, licensed restaurants do not advertise smuggled items on their menus, presuming one could even smuggle enough to supply the kitchen. Aside from $600 speaker cables, it's gotta be the most blatantly obvious rip-off that people willingly line up for.

I'm not saying the douche-burger isn't delicious, or that the beef used isn't of uncommon or even stellar quality. But it ain't "Kobe."
 
2012-07-12 02:34:40 PM

Relatively Obscure: Kobe beef

So they're bullshiatting you right out of the gate.


Well, they did have "Kobe" in quotes.
 
2012-07-12 02:35:03 PM

Peaceboy: "I guess you think you're... you know, like an authority figure, with that stupid farkin' uniform, huh buddy? Working in a food truck, big farkin' man, huh? You know, these are the limits of your life, man. The rule of your little farkin' truck here. Here's your six hundred sixty-six dollars, you pathetic piece of shiat."

[www.movieactors.com image 266x173]


Heh!
 
2012-07-12 02:36:09 PM

Earguy: At the restaurant wholesale level, even with gold leaf, that burger would only cost about $40 to make.


thatsthejoke.jpg
 
2012-07-12 03:03:41 PM
"Kobe"

Good catch.
 
2012-07-12 03:04:17 PM
No Jurrasic salt? fail.
 
2012-07-12 03:05:40 PM
I'll take one but I'd like to double-down and have them breakfastized.
 
2012-07-12 03:05:51 PM
$666... the Douche burger of the Beast.
 
2012-07-12 03:07:58 PM
i1136.photobucket.com

I say! Might I upgrade that, old man?
 
2012-07-12 03:09:01 PM

dickfreckle: Relatively Obscure: Kobe beef

So they're bullshiatting you right out of the gate.

Yeah, I'm not sure how many times it needs to be said before people will get it. It you order 'Kobe' beef in America, it is either smuggled or not actually Kobe beef (guess which one is 99.9% more likely). Legal, licensed restaurants do not advertise smuggled items on their menus, presuming one could even smuggle enough to supply the kitchen. Aside from $600 speaker cables, it's gotta be the most blatantly obvious rip-off that people willingly line up for.

I'm not saying the douche-burger isn't delicious, or that the beef used isn't of uncommon or even stellar quality. But it ain't "Kobe."


Waaaait a minute! are You suggesting that the Condor egg omelete with black rhino hash on the menu at my local diner is somehow bogus?
 
2012-07-12 03:09:03 PM
Looks good, but so fattening, what with the foie gras and all. It'll take another 26 minutes at the gym to work off all that.
 
2012-07-12 03:09:41 PM
(...crap... that means I have to be there right now!)
 
2012-07-12 03:12:07 PM
That's nothing....here's a $5,000.00 burger from Las Vegas:
i.dailymail.co.uk

Kobe beef topped with foie gras and black truffle on a brioche truffle bun - with truffle sauce.
 
2012-07-12 03:12:21 PM
Did anyone mention that there's no such thing as Kobe beef in America yet?
 
2012-07-12 03:12:53 PM
So... cat shiat bbq sauce, huh?
 
2012-07-12 03:14:01 PM

Magorn: dickfreckle: Relatively Obscure: Kobe beef

So they're bullshiatting you right out of the gate.

Yeah, I'm not sure how many times it needs to be said before people will get it. It you order 'Kobe' beef in America, it is either smuggled or not actually Kobe beef (guess which one is 99.9% more likely). Legal, licensed restaurants do not advertise smuggled items on their menus, presuming one could even smuggle enough to supply the kitchen. Aside from $600 speaker cables, it's gotta be the most blatantly obvious rip-off that people willingly line up for.

I'm not saying the douche-burger isn't delicious, or that the beef used isn't of uncommon or even stellar quality. But it ain't "Kobe."

Waaaait a minute! are You suggesting that the Condor egg omelete with black rhino hash on the menu at my local diner is somehow bogus?


No, I go poaching in Africa every weekend to supply your restaurant, thanks very much for doubting them.
 
2012-07-12 03:14:21 PM
Has someone mentioned yet that there is no Kobe beef here in the US?
 
2012-07-12 03:15:34 PM
The best burger I've ever had cost me about $8, and it was at Player's Retreat in Raleigh, NC. They ground their meat on-site, so you could order it medium rare.
 
2012-07-12 03:16:17 PM
churchlady.jpg
 
2012-07-12 03:16:36 PM

Relatively Obscure: So they're bullshiatting you right out of the gate.


Came here to say that.

Dinobot: Has someone mentioned yet that there is no Kobe beef here in the US?


Probably, but some people haven't gotten the message yet.
 
2012-07-12 03:16:48 PM
From the 666 Burger Facebook page:

For you kids just joining us thanks to the Douche Burger...

First of all, it is real.

The point is that putting all this crap on top of a burger doesn't make it taste any better and it is contrary to the essence of a burger. It's simple to pile a bunch of expensive stuff on a burger and charge a farkload for it.

We have an unbridled disgust for these types of burgers and seething anger towards those that make them and try to sell them as something fancy and worthy of respect, when in essence, it's just a chef/customer being a douchebag. Call a spade a spade.


Yeah, they're doing it for the lulz.
 
2012-07-12 03:17:00 PM

Magorn: Waaaait a minute! are You suggesting that the Condor egg omelete with black rhino hash on the menu at my local diner is somehow bogus?


I bet the Parmesan Cheese on the table ain't from Italy, neither.
 
2012-07-12 03:17:35 PM

ferretman: Kobe beef topped with foie gras and black truffle on a brioche truffle bun - with truffle sauce.


Do people really like truffles that much? I don't even like them, and that much would seem to be really gross. Triple truffle. Blech.
 
2012-07-12 03:17:37 PM

Magorn: dickfreckle: Relatively Obscure: Kobe beef

So they're bullshiatting you right out of the gate.

Yeah, I'm not sure how many times it needs to be said before people will get it. It you order 'Kobe' beef in America, it is either smuggled or not actually Kobe beef (guess which one is 99.9% more likely). Legal, licensed restaurants do not advertise smuggled items on their menus, presuming one could even smuggle enough to supply the kitchen. Aside from $600 speaker cables, it's gotta be the most blatantly obvious rip-off that people willingly line up for.

I'm not saying the douche-burger isn't delicious, or that the beef used isn't of uncommon or even stellar quality. But it ain't "Kobe."

Waaaait a minute! are You suggesting that the Condor egg omelete with black rhino hash on the menu at my local diner is somehow bogus?


It's bogus unless they serve it with cheese made from the milk of a Tibetan Mountain Lion.
 
2012-07-12 03:17:49 PM
I don't know if this is worth mentioning, but in case anyone is wondering, there is no such thing as Kobe beef here in the US.
 
2012-07-12 03:17:57 PM
I get tickled when the yuppie numb nuts around here start gushing about how they paid $250 for a Kobe steak. I don't even bother to tell the douchebag that he paid $250 for a regular old Amurcan steak, because Japan does not export Kobe beef.
 
2012-07-12 03:18:21 PM
Yeah, and there's no such thing as champagne made in the US either.
 
2012-07-12 03:19:13 PM

Relatively Obscure: Kobe beef

So they're bullshiatting you right out of the gate.


It's from a cow owned by Kobe Bryant.
 
2012-07-12 03:19:55 PM
Seeing as that you cannot get genuine Kobe beef outside of just a few places in Japan, anyone who orders this "burger" deserves to get taken for everything they have.
 
2012-07-12 03:20:02 PM
Burger is nothing without Himalayan ketchup.

I can taste the Himalayas!!
 
2012-07-12 03:21:44 PM
Anyone who would pay $666 for a burger should be declared incompetent, have all their assets seized and distributed among those with the common sense not to spend $666 on a farkING BURGER!!
 
2012-07-12 03:21:50 PM
Kobe beef -- Ok, but if I'm shelling out for Kobe, it's going to be a rib steak. Don't grind that shiat up. You ruin it.
with foie gras -- Could be an nice addition, but again, I'm not ruining good foie gras by sticking it in a burger.
lobster -- With beef? Again, wasting a good product.
caviar -- On dark rye bread, with cultured butter and a side of ice clod vodak!!! Don't hide the good ingredients.
gold leaf -- Completely useless ingredient. Does not add flavour. If you need to foodfap this hard, put it on something where it will be visible!
then topped with cave aged gruyere -- This is the only thing that adds to the meal.
kopi luwak bbq sauce -- Let's take the most subtly flavoured (and expensive) ingredient in the world, and completely hide all it's subtlety by burying it in tomato and vinegar.

This is not cooking. This is sourcing expensive ingredients for all the food porn addicts out there. Each one of these ingredients should be showcased on its own, as simply as possible.

Kobe Beef: Sear both sides. Broil until medium. (you want to melt the fat so that it coats every fibre of muscle tissue). Salt, and pepper if you want. Even montreal steak spice is overpowering.

Foie Gras: sear it quickly (30-45 secs per side). Drop a sliced baguette in the fat left in the pan and toast it. Serve beside chanterelles. That's simple. Anyone can do it, because the work is done for you by the farmers.

Lobster: Steam it. Serve with plastic bibs and nutcrackers. Garlic butter as well. (This to me is the greatest lobster. But it's not elegant by any stretch of the imagination.)

If I catch any one of you farkers wasting Kopi Luwak in a barbeque sauce, I might just get sarcastic. Brew that shiat (lit.) up and drink it black.

You want to show off your cooking? Get me a kidney and make it yummy.
 
2012-07-12 03:22:06 PM

Ned Stark: Yeah, and there's no such thing as champagne made in the US either.


Yeah, but we can import champagne.
 
2012-07-12 03:22:34 PM
Can somebody tell me where I can get some of this delicious Kobe beef?
 
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