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(940 WINZ)   A 7 foot carved penis is a fine housewarming gift for your stepdaughter, until her neighbors call the cops   (940winz.com) divider line 52
    More: Amusing, stepdaughters  
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15518 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Jul 2012 at 8:51 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-12 08:54:13 AM  
This is creepy on so many levels.
 
2012-07-12 08:54:51 AM  
FTFA: But after police started asking questions, he removed it.

?
 
2012-07-12 08:55:36 AM  
Photo credit - WOOD TV

LMFAO!
 
2012-07-12 08:57:03 AM  
Wyoming, huh? The penis is evil! The gun is good!

/oh, wait, it's the CITY of Wyoming, FL? wut
 
2012-07-12 08:57:26 AM  
It's a mushroom! Get your mind out of the gutter!
 
2012-07-12 08:57:40 AM  

Matthew Keene: Photo credit - WOOD TV

LMFAO!


Yeah, there's tons of both win AND fail in that article.
 
2012-07-12 08:57:44 AM  
edge.ebaumsworld.com
 
2012-07-12 08:58:24 AM  
{photo: WOOD TV}

I LOL'd
 
2012-07-12 08:58:39 AM  

Garaba: This is creepy on so many levels.


Maybe they are from a culture in which fertility idols are still used and it was a serious housewarming gift to help her bring a baby to her new house. It's also possible it was a lighthearted joke.
 
2012-07-12 08:59:01 AM  
that's a weird gift to give to your step daughter
 
2012-07-12 08:59:17 AM  
"Yes, I'm calling about a tall dick in my neighbor's yard".

"Sir, I'm sure Lebron James will move along shortly"
 
2012-07-12 08:59:20 AM  

TheHappTroll: FTFA: But after police started asking questions, he removed it.

?


He withdrew his penis from his stepdaughter's lawn, which had been inappropriately thrust upon her.
 
2012-07-12 09:05:26 AM  

I_Am_Weasel: "Yes, I'm calling about a tall dick in my neighbor's yard".

"Sir, I'm sure Lebron James will move along shortly"


jeffpicard.com
 
2012-07-12 09:08:33 AM  
Ma'am, put the dick back in the box!

(That's a big box you have there, ma'am.)
 
2012-07-12 09:09:02 AM  
Classic that one of my Florida Stations picked this up. Could have happened in Florida you know.

www.gagswag.com
 
2012-07-12 09:10:44 AM  
Don't know how I missed that driving to work every day. Must have been in the back yard.
 
2012-07-12 09:11:10 AM  
they must have a good relationship to be able to share humor so boldly. good for them. sorry her neighbors are not art lovers.

/why do they fear 7' penis?
 
2012-07-12 09:13:50 AM  

Garaba: This is creepy on so many levels.

 
2012-07-12 09:15:16 AM  

xanadian: Wyoming, huh? The penis is evil! The gun is good!

/oh, wait, it's the CITY of Wyoming, FL? wut


I'm pretty sure that it's Wyoming, MI. WOOD is a TV/Radio station in Grand Rapids, and Wyoming is in that area.
 
2012-07-12 09:15:25 AM  
I'm glad we as a society have police departments to respond to such unthinkable situations.
 
2012-07-12 09:16:34 AM  
Now she just needs one of these.

images.artnet.com
 
2012-07-12 09:19:08 AM  
Had somebody carved that penis a few hundred years ago, it would be protected, respected and valued as an artifact.
 
2012-07-12 09:19:32 AM  
i3.photobucket.com
 
2012-07-12 09:21:35 AM  

drg8r: Classic that one of my Florida Stations picked this up. Could have happened in Florida you know.


Was it WALA, the Fox station?
 
2012-07-12 09:24:13 AM  
This is great. the next time one of my friends or relatives moves and they have a dead tree in their new yard, they are getting a 7ft penis sculpture.
 
2012-07-12 09:26:43 AM  
If you look at a dead tree and see a penis you are the one with a dirty mind.
 
2012-07-12 09:28:53 AM  
Prudes. They should market these as a sort of repellent for the religious folks that knock on your door at 8am on Saturday. If you have one of those in your front yard, it may make them think twice about how you would answer the door.

It amazes me how people deny the mechanics of how they came to be.
 
2012-07-12 09:29:02 AM  
It seems like the neighbors were really hard on them.
 
2012-07-12 09:31:37 AM  

phojochris: Don't know how I missed that driving to work every day. Must have been in the back yard.


You could take that as a good sign that you are not easily distracted by a 7' penis while driving. We shall not hear of you crashing into something while staring off and I appreciate your standard for safety. You may continue posting about other dumb drivers.
 
2012-07-12 09:33:51 AM  

whitey_d: [i3.photobucket.com image 500x661]


Thanks for the morning LOL!
 
2012-07-12 09:36:39 AM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: TheHappTroll: FTFA: But after police started asking questions, he removed it.

?

He withdrew his penis from his stepdaughter's lawn, which had been inappropriately thrust upon her.


Hey, if there's grass on the lawn...
 
2012-07-12 09:36:44 AM  
I like how they have the picture blurred out, like it's real or something. We won't have any of that "things that resemble other things" here.
 
2012-07-12 09:49:53 AM  
guy.com
Plus it's good to beat her with
 
2012-07-12 09:52:29 AM  
My seven foot penis says "A Souvenir of Japan" on it.

Did you know that the mile stones along roads (often replaced with kilometer stones in most of the world) were originally endowed with penises? The God of travellers, children and merchants, Mercury (who is the patron god of Russia and one of the many precursors of Santa Claus, Father Christmas or Old Saint Nick, the patron saint of Russia and essentially the same person in fancy dress) was a fertility god, responsible for:

1) procreation of children and livestock; children, fertility of crops and gardens
2) gardens
3) travellers
4) thieves
5) merchants
6) astrology and astronomy
7) literature, writers and scribes.

The images erected in gardens (compare the Roman Selinus) were also a thinly veiled threat of buggery if a thief or wall-breaker was caught by the owner of the property.

Mercury was the messenger of the gods and also the patron of those who read the will of fate and the gods in the stars and planets. His day is Wednesday. His planet is the closest to the Sun.
 
2012-07-12 09:53:20 AM  
I read that as this:
Homeowner Mariah Cordes says she got the curved wood from her stepfather as a sort of house-warming gift when she bought the place.

I saw a video (or two) where a stepfather gives his stepdaughter his curverd wood.
 
2012-07-12 09:56:32 AM  

Garaba: This is creepy on so many levels.


Oh c'mon. This is a bit of an exaggeration. It's creepy on 2, maybe 3 levels tops.
 
2012-07-12 10:00:30 AM  
good to know police are still on top of these cases
 
2012-07-12 10:30:20 AM  
For a minute, I thought it said a 7-foot curved penis.
That would hav been a matter of concern, for a different reason.
 
2012-07-12 10:36:54 AM  
Are they more appealing when cast rather being carved? Why do people hate wood carvers anyway?
 
2012-07-12 10:43:51 AM  
Big deal. Do a GIS for "Ypsilanti water tower."
 
2012-07-12 10:52:13 AM  

mytdawg: I like how they have the picture blurred out, like it's real or something. We won't have any of that "things that resemble other things" here.


I clicked on the FA on the off chance this related to a feudal Japanese village festival carving, so the blurring out made me laugh.
 
2012-07-12 11:13:59 AM  

Cybernetic: xanadian: Wyoming, huh? The penis is evil! The gun is good!

/oh, wait, it's the CITY of Wyoming, FL? wut

I'm pretty sure that it's Wyoming, MI. WOOD is a TV/Radio station in Grand Rapids, and Wyoming is in that area.


ah, OK, that makes more sense.

where the hell did I get Florida out of that mess??
 
2012-07-12 11:14:45 AM  

xanadian: Cybernetic: xanadian: Wyoming, huh? The penis is evil! The gun is good!

/oh, wait, it's the CITY of Wyoming, FL? wut

I'm pretty sure that it's Wyoming, MI. WOOD is a TV/Radio station in Grand Rapids, and Wyoming is in that area.

ah, OK, that makes more sense.

where the hell did I get Florida out of that mess??


Oh. The website is for a South Florida radio station.
 
2012-07-12 11:45:51 AM  

brantgoose: The images erected in gardens (compare the Roman Selinus) were also a thinly veiled threat of buggery if a thief or wall-breaker was caught by the owner of the property.


Baloney. I robbed a dozen roman villas and none of those damn patricians would follow through with their promise.
 
2012-07-12 12:11:44 PM  
Priapus laughs at such foolishness. Who will protect their gardens now?

And what of that Japanese Penis Festival, hmmm?
 
2012-07-12 12:21:48 PM  
came for picture of Kane.

/leaving disappointed.
 
2012-07-12 12:35:11 PM  
Her dad isn't Ron Jeremy,right?
 
2012-07-12 03:46:13 PM  
If I had a step daughter I wouldn't be so over the top about it. Id be happy just giving her a 7" penis.
 
2012-07-12 05:12:22 PM  
i56.tinypic.com

So that's how it is in their family...
 
2012-07-12 07:09:01 PM  
So no un-blurred photos available? I'd like to know how much to giggle.
 
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