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(Daily Mail)   Ever wonder how dinosaurs had sex? Apparently someone at The Daily Mail does   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 55
    More: Interesting, dinosaurs  
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2789 clicks; posted to Geek » on 12 Jul 2012 at 12:23 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-12 07:33:08 AM
dinosaur.trailertheater.com

Approves.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2012-07-12 09:49:18 AM
A quick journey through Google tells me dinosaurs did not have a baculum. I suppose that 12 foot penis was supported by hydraulic pressure alone.
 
2012-07-12 10:20:21 AM
That second T-Rex panel is creepy as shiat.
 
2012-07-12 12:27:42 PM

ZAZ: A quick journey through Google tells me dinosaurs did not have a baculum. I suppose that 12 foot penis was supported by hydraulic pressure alone.


OK, so Quantum Leap got sort of stupid sometimes. Do you have to constantly pick on Bakula ?
 
2012-07-12 12:31:08 PM
hungrybunyip.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-07-12 12:34:49 PM
Is there a Fark preference for hiding Daily Fail links from the pages?
 
2012-07-12 12:36:10 PM

gravy chugging cretin.: ZAZ: A quick journey through Google tells me dinosaurs did not have a baculum. I suppose that 12 foot penis was supported by hydraulic pressure alone.

OK, so Quantum Leap got sort of stupid sometimes. Do you have to constantly pick on Bakula ?


"Say what?"
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-07-12 12:37:05 PM
...most researchers have concluded that dinosaurs made love like dogs


So, just like people?
 
2012-07-12 12:38:38 PM
presumably not in the back see of a volkswagon. there just isn't enough room.
 
2012-07-12 12:42:16 PM
img840.imageshack.us
 
2012-07-12 12:42:18 PM
Great. For some reason those pictures started the Bloodhound Gang's song "discovery Channel" running through my head. Hope you're happy submitter
 
2012-07-12 12:42:56 PM
Prim 'Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh' rdial.
 
2012-07-12 12:43:10 PM
Her pooper.

i.dailymail.co.uk

She'll learn to like it.
 
2012-07-12 12:54:06 PM

Joafu: Her pooper.

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x908]

She'll learn to like it.


Bite the Triceratops...I'm going in dry!
 
2012-07-12 12:58:30 PM
Ever wonder?
It's all I think about!
 
2012-07-12 12:58:33 PM
Bullshiat, sauropods being semi aquatic has mostly been debunked, but because many were too heavy to have their weight supported by another, most paleontologists believe they just mated a little unconventionally...

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-07-12 01:47:08 PM
Rule 34 is in play...oh wait, its always in play.
 
2012-07-12 02:06:04 PM
I hope this isn't the beginning of a new Furry-esque trend.
 
2012-07-12 02:51:23 PM
One thing I guess I never thought about before is that a female T-Rex clearly never experienced the joys of fisting.


/strange to think that his penis was bigger than his arm...
//on the other hand (maybe both), at least with a penis that big he had a chance to masturbate with those tiny little arms
 
2012-07-12 03:42:50 PM

HighZoolander: One thing I guess I never thought about before is that a female T-Rex clearly never experienced the joys of fisting.


/strange to think that his penis was bigger than his arm...
//on the other hand (maybe both), at least with a penis that big he had a chance to masturbate with those tiny little arms


That's why they are extinct.

STOP MASTURBATING!
 
2012-07-12 04:06:02 PM

DjangoStonereaver: [dinosaur.trailertheater.com image 480x360]

Approves.


I was always a BIG fan of the second from the right in that video.
 
2012-07-12 04:16:37 PM
I suspect Rule 34 was satisfied long before this showed up
 
2012-07-12 04:36:32 PM
"However birds do it" is probably a good first approximation.

I don't know how that is, but I'm sure someone here has a link to some hot chicken-on-chicken action.
 
2012-07-12 04:42:57 PM

Gaseous Anomaly: "However birds do it" is probably a good first approximation.

I don't know how that is, but I'm sure someone here has a link to some hot chicken-on-chicken action.


static.flickr.com
Sweet love.
 
2012-07-12 04:53:05 PM
Article is worthless without the motherfarking pterodactyl.

i1089.photobucket.com
 
2012-07-12 05:23:00 PM
i41.tinypic.com
 
2012-07-12 05:23:46 PM

HighZoolander: /strange to think that his penis was bigger than his arm...


Your isn't?
 
2012-07-12 05:49:21 PM
Let's ask her.
everyjoe.com
 
Skr
2012-07-12 05:55:10 PM
Well I thought I could go through life without knowing what "dinosaur-fark-me-eyes" looked like. I guess I'll have to move on to other more unconventional pursuits.
 
2012-07-12 06:10:25 PM
I think Greg's quote is a gem though:

"Gregory M. Erickson, an evolutionary biologist at Florida State University, told The Huffington Post 'It must have been a hell of a thing to see.'

As for sauropods mating... It had to be more like docking 2 big and extremely stupid barges.

/love my job
//talk to kids about poop, cannibalism and dino humping
 
2012-07-12 06:16:29 PM
I'm making the close up of the t rex's my background pic. I'm throwing hearts all over that biatch.
 
2012-07-12 07:12:16 PM

Welfare Xmas: I hope this isn't the beginning of a new Furry-esque trend.


New? This is far from new.
 
2012-07-12 07:19:49 PM
Hell, can someone make a blank of this? I suck at editing.
 
2012-07-12 07:23:07 PM

gravy chugging cretin.: ZAZ: A quick journey through Google tells me dinosaurs did not have a baculum. I suppose that 12 foot penis was supported by hydraulic pressure alone.

OK, so Quantum Leap got sort of stupid sometimes. Do you have to constantly pick on Bakula ?



Yes, especially after that episode where he leaped into the captain of the Enterprise and killed the Star Trek franchise.
 
2012-07-12 07:33:40 PM

maxx2112: gravy chugging cretin.: ZAZ: A quick journey through Google tells me dinosaurs did not have a baculum. I suppose that 12 foot penis was supported by hydraulic pressure alone.

OK, so Quantum Leap got sort of stupid sometimes. Do you have to constantly pick on Bakula ?


Yes, especially after that episode where he leaped into the captain of the Enterprise and killed the Star Trek franchise.


ui08.gamespot.com
you fail.
 
2012-07-12 07:48:44 PM

StoPPeRmobile: Yes, especially after that episode where he leaped into the captain of the Enterprise and killed the Star Trek franchise.


That was the only good episode I recall. Nice to see him kill that show..Franks killed it again on the last episode.
 
2012-07-12 08:01:39 PM

StoPPeRmobile: maxx2112: gravy chugging cretin.: ZAZ: A quick journey through Google tells me dinosaurs did not have a baculum. I suppose that 12 foot penis was supported by hydraulic pressure alone.

OK, so Quantum Leap got sort of stupid sometimes. Do you have to constantly pick on Bakula ?

Yes, especially after that episode where he leaped into the captain of the Enterprise and killed the Star Trek franchise.

[ui08.gamespot.com image 436x317]

you fail.


www.arrse.co.uk

T'Pol is in sweaty underwear . . . your argument is invalid.
 
2012-07-12 08:28:40 PM
web.mit.edu
 
2012-07-12 09:16:30 PM

Joafu: Her pooper.

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x908]

She'll learn to like it.


Birds and reptiles have an organ called cloaca, which is the "posterior opening that serves as the only such opening for the intestinal, reproductive, and urinary tracts".

Didn't dinosaurs have cloacae? I'm really baffled here.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2012-07-12 09:30:02 PM
Didn't dinosaurs have cloacae? I'm really baffled here.

Extant reptiles have a hemipenis (or two?) within a cloaca. (According to an internet search just know; I didn't know the details of the anatomy.) It's possible you don't know what sex of dinosaur you have met until you part the walls of its cloaca and see whether a 12 foot long member emerges.
 
2012-07-12 09:46:40 PM

ZAZ: Extant reptiles have a hemipenis (or two?) within a cloaca.


Is that a hemi?
 
2012-07-12 10:09:17 PM
C'mon rule 34 has always had it covered.
 
2012-07-12 10:44:06 PM

ZAZ: Didn't dinosaurs have cloacae? I'm really baffled here.

Extant reptiles have a hemipenis (or two?) within a cloaca. (According to an internet search just know; I didn't know the details of the anatomy.) It's possible you don't know what sex of dinosaur you have met until you part the walls of its cloaca and see whether a 12 foot long member emerges.


*GIS hemipenis*
Well that's something I didn't want to learn today.
 
2012-07-12 10:45:03 PM

ZAZ: Didn't dinosaurs have cloacae? I'm really baffled here.

Extant reptiles have a hemipenis (or two?) within a cloaca. (According to an internet search just know; I didn't know the details of the anatomy.) It's possible you don't know what sex of dinosaur you have met until you part the walls of its cloaca and see whether a 12 foot long member emerges.


Oh, and btw, do you mean TWO OF THEM?
 
2012-07-12 11:40:19 PM

ZAZ: A quick journey through Google tells me dinosaurs did not have a baculum. I suppose that 12 foot penis was supported by hydraulic pressure alone.


Neither do ducks (which, proportionately, have the longest penises in the animal kingdom), and this is making the very large assumption that dinosaurs had penises at all. (Of note, the baculum is also pretty much a bone that only exists in mammaliforms.)

WARNING: The following is probably more than you care to ever know about the naughty bits of archosaurs, other "scaly critters", and non-placental mammaliforms.

Dinosaurs are archosaurs, and the best idea we can get of what dinosaur reproduction would have been like (the actual act of Dinosaur Porn, mind) would be from existing archosaurs--crocodilians (which are more "cousins a bit removed" from dinosaurs) and birds (aka the surviving theropod dinosaurs). Birds are probably going to be the best example, being existing dinosaurs anyways, and can at least give us a good idea of how theropod reproduction works.

Pretty much with the exception of ducks, most extant theropods don't even have penises in the sense that mammals do, but in fact mate via a "cloacal kiss"--basically cloaca of male connects to cloaca of female and exchange of bodily fluids commences. (The main question seems to be how the really big dinosaurs in the Sauropsidia, like sauropods, managed to engage in a cloacal kiss.) We know from some well-preserved remains (that managed to preserve parts of the soft tissue) of hadrosaurs that ornithosaurian dinosaurs had a cloaca, and we can really safely say that theropods did as extant flying theropods also have cloacas. :D

Now, it's entirely possible some dinosaurs (even some theropods) DID have a penis--but it's not like a mammalian penis, but is much more like the internal penis of ratites and ducks (as interesting as it seems, internal penises may be a "holdover trait" or may have evolved separately in different lineages of birds--most of the birds who do have them ARE on the "more basal" end of things, however). In the specific case of ducks (which have internal penises of ludicrous lengths, sometimes as long or longer than the duck itself) it actually seems to be part of an integral "rape kit" in male ducks--male duck forces himself on female duck in cloacal kiss, mega-duck-penis inserts his own sperm deep within Lady Duck whilst sweeping out the sperm of competitors.

(And yes, the "penises" of other extant theropod dinosaurs who have them--ratites, waterfowl, and flamingos for the most part--operate much the same way; it's less an analogue to a mammaliform penis and more (for want of a better term) basically a mechanism for theropodian tentacle rape during the cloacal kiss. At best "bird penises" are feathered lymph-fueled appendages that operate as "French ticklers" or dildos during the act; at worst it really is frank tentacle rape with what amounts to a very long pipe cleaner. And yes, I'm sure this is more than you ever wanted to know about bird sex!)

The OTHER living branch of archosaurs, the crocodilians, DO have penises, but again it's still not entirely analgous to a mammaliform penis or hemipenis (more on that in a bit...) and is still more analgous to theropodian penises (the main difference being that there is an actual sperm groove on crocodilian naughty bits) in that it's an internal lymph-filled "internal dildo"; it's still not entirely known if crocodilians can in fact actually reproduce without the "cloacal kiss". As it is, they're fairly removed from dinosaurs (having split off quite early in archosaurian evolution) so it's not something to stress about.

(At least one poster mentioned hemipenes in lizards and snakes, but those are almost as removed from archosaurians as they are from turtles (which do have penises but DO require the "cloacal kiss" and are almost as removed from archosaurs as they are from us; there's also evidence they could have evolved a hemipenis separately. Hence they are Not Relevant To This Conversation. :D)

Mammaliforms and archosaurs definitely seem to have evolved penises separately; we don't have as good of remains of early mammaliforms and therapsids to know exactly when the penis came to be in the "mammal side" of the amniote lineage, but quadripenises (yes, bifurcated penises with FOUR functional heads) are known in extant monotremes (which still have the cloaca for both reproductive AND excretory functions, like extant members of the archosaur/testudine/lizard branch of amniotes). We unfortunately don't have preserved multituberculate penises, but extant marsupials tend to have hemipenes (and bifurcated vaginas and uteruses); the single functional penis and the baculum don't seem to have evolved until the marsupial/placental split (but seems to have evolved fairly early once the placentals were a distinct clade--pretty much every placental who lacks a baculum, including humans, seems to have lost it secondarily--in our case, quite shortly after the split from the chimpanzee/bonobo lineage).

So, Cliff's Notes version: Dinosaurs might have had penises, but no baculums, if they had them they would be like the Nightmare Fuel that are bird "penises" and actual reproduction would have involved cloaca-cloaca contact with the "penis" acting as a Dinosaurian Naughty Tentacle, it's entirely possible some dinosaurs had "bird penises" and some didn't, and baculums are pretty much a placental-mammal thing. :D
 
2012-07-13 03:07:59 AM

Gaseous Anomaly: I don't know how that is, but I'm sure someone here has a link to some hot chicken-on-chicken action.


Chickens? No, but I can offer a bit of gull-on-gull.

img526.imageshack.us

traylor: *GIS hemipenis*
Well that's something I didn't want to learn today.


Your next GIS phrase is "Argentine lake duck".
 
2012-07-13 07:41:38 AM
T-Rex: ...Did the earth move for you too?

T&A Rex:...Yes...Yes... Yes... we both weigh 20 tons
 
2012-07-13 09:21:15 AM

Great Porn Dragon: cloacal kiss

Great Porn Dragon: theropodian tentacle rape

Great Porn Dragon: hemipenes

Great Porn Dragon: extant monotremes

Great Porn Dragon: preserved multituberculate penises

Olympus Mons: T&A Rex


I must admit I had no idea this thread would yield so many wonderful band names.
 
2012-07-13 09:23:33 AM

Great Porn Dragon: it's less an analogue to a mammaliform penis and more (for want of a better term) basically a mechanism for theropodian tentacle rape during the cloacal kiss


Is the difference that the sperm doesn't travel through the bird/reptile penis, but just sits there on the end?
 
2012-07-13 11:18:17 AM

Gaseous Anomaly: Great Porn Dragon: it's less an analogue to a mammaliform penis and more (for want of a better term) basically a mechanism for theropodian tentacle rape during the cloacal kiss

Is the difference that the sperm doesn't travel through the bird/reptile penis, but just sits there on the end?


It's partly that (the closest thing that exists to a sperm duct in archosaurs is the sperm groove in crocodilians), partly some differences in functionality (in birds), and partly some differences in anatomy.

In mammaliforms, the emphasis seems to have been "get the sperm as close to the egg as possible" and there is less of an emphasis on "get the sperm of anyone else she's been sleeping with out"; in birds (and probably to an extent in reptiliforms broadly) the purpose of the penis seems to have been largely a that of a feather-duster (literally!) or cleaner up the cloaca to wipe away any competitor's sperm.

(This is especially true in birds, because it's really only a few lines close to the base of extant bird evolution that even HAVE penises; most birds don't have them at all. The most that penises seem to be developed among archosaurs are in waterfowl (and especially, as someone noted, with the infamous Argentine lake duck). where sex is (shall we say) competitive and occasionally brutal.)

Probably the most bizarre penises in the mammaliforms are the penises of extant monotremes, but as these were around before the evolution of the baculum it's hard to say where these came from (then again, monotremes are weird in a lot of ways--still have cloacas, and platypuses have eleven sex chromosome pairs because mammalian chromosomal sex determination was still evolving when monotremes went their own path). It's my understanding that monotreme penises (weird as they are) do still have sperm ducts, though, and function closer to a mammaliform penis than a bird "sweeper penis" (apparently monotremes have two uteri, and only half of those weird bifurcated penises with two heads on each split are used at a time--it's easy to see where it's the ancestral condition to hemipenes in marsupials).

And it's quite a pity that we don't have fossils of some of the earlier and now quite-extinct mammalian and mammaliform orders with soft tissue preserved--we have no real idea on what protomammal therapsid penises might have looked like or if they had them at all, and we don't have any idea on what multituberculate penises might have been like (multituberculates, for non-paleo-geeks, are pretty much the "lost lineage" of mammals; closer to us and marsupials then monotremes, but they did do their own thing in many ways to the point they get their own clade, and they lasted the longest of any major mammalian group until about 25 million years ago or so.)--that would have made some INTERESTING comparison material :D Then again, most mammals from the Mesozoic...well, it's considered lucky if there's anything identifiable left other than the teeth, so that tells you something :P)
 
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