Eeeeesh!

bow-chica-wow-wow surprisingly absent.

Thanks a lot Fifty Shades of Grey. Now my wife is masturbating with a cheese grater and asked if she could pound a bamboo skewer down my urethra. Why couldn't you have written Fifty Shades of Blow Jobs?

Joe Walsh's "I Like Big Tits" strangely absent.

Wait. . . What? Oh, never mind.

spentmiles: Thanks a lot Fifty Shades of Grey. Now my wife is masturbating with a cheese grater and asked if she could pound a bamboo skewer down my urethra. Why couldn't you have written Fifty Shades of Blow Jobs?

[icantfaptothis.jpg]

spentmiles: Thanks a lot Fifty Shades of Grey. Now my wife is masturbating with a cheese grater and asked if she could pound a bamboo skewer down my urethra. Why couldn't you have written Fifty Shades of Blow Jobs?

*blink**blink*

/has no idea wtf fifty shades of grey is

theknuckler_33: spentmiles: Thanks a lot Fifty Shades of Grey. Now my wife is masturbating with a cheese grater and asked if she could pound a bamboo skewer down my urethra. Why couldn't you have written Fifty Shades of Blow Jobs?

*blink**blink*

/has no idea wtf fifty shades of grey is

It will make your girlfriend/spouse horny.

Or so I've heard.

theknuckler_33: spentmiles: Thanks a lot Fifty Shades of Grey. Now my wife is masturbating with a cheese grater and asked if she could pound a bamboo skewer down my urethra. Why couldn't you have written Fifty Shades of Blow Jobs?

*blink**blink*

/has no idea wtf fifty shades of grey is

Twilight for women minus glitter vampires plus whips and chains

Maybe if the women who read these books watched their weight so that when their husbands got home they wouldn't have fight through 40lbs of rolls to get at your shame cave. There is only so many times you can look at your wife's cottage cheese ass without thinking about the nice looking girl in accouting.

star_topology: theknuckler_33: spentmiles: Thanks a lot Fifty Shades of Grey. Now my wife is masturbating with a cheese grater and asked if she could pound a bamboo skewer down my urethra. Why couldn't you have written Fifty Shades of Blow Jobs?

*blink**blink*

/has no idea wtf fifty shades of grey is

It will make your girlfriend/spouse horny.

Or so I've heard.

I've heard of two women who, after finishing the book, basically banged the next guy they went out with. One of them was a 40 year old woman who hadn't had sex in years. She asked out the cute guy she had a crush on and skipped the whole date part and went right to farking like bunnies bit.

theknuckler_33: spentmiles: Thanks a lot Fifty Shades of Grey. Now my wife is masturbating with a cheese grater and asked if she could pound a bamboo skewer down my urethra. Why couldn't you have written Fifty Shades of Blow Jobs?

*blink**blink*

/has no idea wtf fifty shades of grey is

This will help NSFWlanguage

theknuckler_33: spentmiles: Thanks a lot Fifty Shades of Grey. Now my wife is masturbating with a cheese grater and asked if she could pound a bamboo skewer down my urethra. Why couldn't you have written Fifty Shades of Blow Jobs?

*blink**blink*

/has no idea wtf fifty shades of grey is

It's pretty much a poorly written fanfic about BDSM and grody female erotica that was spawned by a Twilight tard.

It's pretty much if venereal disease, crabs, hemeroids, and a heavy period got together, had an orgy, dumped the fluids on paper, and then have the pages wiped by the ass of Rush Limbaugh. Then take a pic of his anus and it's pretty close to the literary quality of this 'book' if you can call it that.

/brb going to get that imagery out of my head

theknuckler_33: spentmiles: Thanks a lot Fifty Shades of Grey. Now my wife is masturbating with a cheese grater and asked if she could pound a bamboo skewer down my urethra. Why couldn't you have written Fifty Shades of Blow Jobs?

*blink**blink*

/has no idea wtf fifty shades of grey is

The book every woman apparently finds awful yet reads anyway because they're too prudish to just watch BDSM on the internet.

I read the first book...

ok, I read about the first quarter of it, and skimmed the rest. It's not even good porn. And really bad S&M porn. Some spanking was about the extent of it.

/maybe there's more in the rest of the books
//not willing to find out.

I read the headline as "every single excruciatingly bad choice from Fifty Shades of Grey." I thought it would be about how dumb the main character is.

The actual article was disappointing.

I'm sorry, but if a girl ever decides to pop in a Kings of Leon CD to set the mood in the boudoir, I'm putting my pants back on and getting the fark outta there.

Honestly, "Sex On Fire"? Yeah, that *really* makes me wanna go downtown, sweetcheeks. Get thy axe wound checked by a doc, STAT.

/sorta kiddin', sorta
//sex music snob
///put on some Portishead instead, woman!

I poked my head in here to ask what all this "50 Shades" nonsense was about, and it's pretty clear that it's just that.

I love how Americans make a big deal out of stuffing sex into the closet and under the bed, but when a book like this drops, everyone gets to act all "titillated" for a bit, and act like they've not felt this way all along.

Drop the charade already. Ladies, if you admit that you like to fark, we'll love you MORE, not less.

Twilight and 50 Shades of Grey offend my dignity as a writer. When shiat like this is published, Bacardi is my only friend.

/bitter

Vacation Bible School: theknuckler_33: spentmiles: Thanks a lot Fifty Shades of Grey. Now my wife is masturbating with a cheese grater and asked if she could pound a bamboo skewer down my urethra. Why couldn't you have written Fifty Shades of Blow Jobs?

*blink**blink*

/has no idea wtf fifty shades of grey is

This will help NSFWlanguage


Holy shiat Gilbert Gottfried is hot. I'd fap to any audio book he puts out.

Savage Bacon: I'm sorry, but if a girl ever decides to pop in a Kings of Leon CD to set the mood in the boudoir, I'm putting my pants back on and getting the fark outta there.

Honestly, "Sex On Fire"? Yeah, that *really* makes me wanna go downtown, sweetcheeks. Get thy axe wound checked by a doc, STAT.

/sorta kiddin', sorta
//sex music snob
///put on some Portishead instead, woman!

Word.

Also, Washed Out if you're into the slow stuff.

/sexy music thread?

No Masochism Tango by Tom Lehrer?

Link

Savage Bacon: I'm sorry, but if a girl ever decides to pop in a Kings of Leon CD to set the mood in the boudoir, I'm putting my pants back on and getting the fark outta there.

Honestly, "Sex On Fire"? Yeah, that *really* makes me wanna go downtown, sweetcheeks. Get thy axe wound checked by a doc, STAT.

/sorta kiddin', sorta
//sex music snob
///put on some Portishead instead, woman!

Even if she put on "Tiptoe Thru the Tulips", I'd still give it a go.

theknuckler_33: /has no idea wtf fifty shades of grey is

They're a number of arbitrary intensity levels of white light, but that's not important right now.

Female masturbation is a high maintenance thing.....

star_topology:
/sexy music thread?

Silversun Pickups: Three Seed
Dead Can Dance: Ubiquitous Mr Lovegrove

Outrageous Muff: Maybe if the women who read these books watched their weight so that when their husbands got home they wouldn't have fight through 40lbs of rolls to get at your shame cave. There is only so many times you can look at your wife's cottage cheese ass without thinking about the nice looking girl in accouting.

This. One hundred times, this.

/don't even care if you're trolling

Oh and they missed this one when making the playlist:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQQeg3jYgOA

Yomoxu: Twilight and 50 Shades of Grey offend my dignity as a writer. When shiat like this is published, Bacardi is my only friend.

/bitter

Your (correct) snobbery of trash literature is an interesting contrast with your acceptance of trash liquor. Good lord you can get better rum than Bacardi, try Flor de Caña!

BarefootInTheFark: Outrageous Muff: Maybe if the women who read these books watched their weight so that when their husbands got home they wouldn't have fight through 40lbs of rolls to get at your shame cave. There is only so many times you can look at your wife's cottage cheese ass without thinking about the nice looking girl in accouting.

This. One hundred times, this.

/don't even care if you're trolling

i only clicked the link to find out what 50 shades of grey was.
But yeah, I agree.

dittybopper: You know who else hates Grey?

[img511.imageshack.us image 284x343]

Magua, that's who.

But will he eat his heart?

grinding_journalist: I poked my head in here to ask what all this "50 Shades" nonsense was about, and it's pretty clear that it's just that.

I love how Americans make a big deal out of stuffing sex into the closet and under the bed, but when a book like this drops, everyone gets to act all "titillated" for a bit, and act like they've not felt this way all along.

Drop the charade already. Ladies, if you admit that you like to fark, we'll love you MORE, not less.

Loud and proud about it, my friend, but bad literature (I've only read an excerpt of this "book" and I wanted to get stabby on the eyeballs), even supposedly erotic bad literature, just puts me off.

/say what you will, I'll take the steamier passages of Outlander any day of the week

https://twitter.com/FiftyshiatShades

that is all.

Women: WE WILL NOT BE SUBJUGATED! We are not the property of men! We demand equal treatment!

Men: okay.

Women: hey! Check out this great new book series depicting women as the submissive property of men!

Men: *facepalm*

Kings of Leon? Snow Patrol?

Egads... if that's any indication of the quality of the book, it must be terrrrrrrible.

iron_city_ap: theknuckler_33: spentmiles: Thanks a lot Fifty Shades of Grey. Now my wife is masturbating with a cheese grater and asked if she could pound a bamboo skewer down my urethra. Why couldn't you have written Fifty Shades of Blow Jobs?

*blink**blink*

/has no idea wtf fifty shades of grey is

Twilight for women minus glitter vampires plus whips and chains

Twilight for women is redundant

So....... 50 shades is a musical???????


/not really confused, just tired of the media promoting the endless stream of the latest, useless, overhyped, CRAP.

Yomoxu: Twilight and 50 Shades of Grey offend my dignity as a writer. When shiat like this is published, Bacardi is my only friend.

/bitter

Jameson here.

*clink*

CSB Time:

WoH (@B&N): Do you guys have Fifty Shades Freed?

Cute B&N Cashier: Yeah, is it for your girlfriend?

WoH: No, it's for me... haha of course it's for my girlfriend, she's bored at work.

B&N Cashier: Haha aww, that's sweet of you! Here; we got two of these in our shipment. It's a rare misprint with the subdued title and author line.

WoH: Oh wow, thank you! She'll love that.


Has anyone heard anything about these "misprint" copies?

My gf loved the first two, but she also said this one was different and not in a good way... looking to pawn it off on ebay, but haven't found any listings for something like this:

Original/Misprint

Conveniently Missing

/Necessary for any S&M musical discussion

Yomoxu: Twilight and 50 Shades of Grey offend my dignity as a writer. When shiat like this is published, Bacardi is my only friend.

Meh, fast food is crap and millions of people eat it every day BECAUSE it's crap. The difference is that anyone who tries to seriously argue that Taco Bell is quality food will get laughed out of the room. I'm OK with a woman reading trash and enjoying it. Heck, read MOAR erotica. By all means, learn to like sex. Enjoy being a freak; it's fun. The ones that creep me out are the ones that say it's good, and anyone who doesn't agree "just doesn't understand".

What fills my heart with dread is that bad fanfiction is becoming such a goldmine for publishing companies that I fear they'll turn down even decent writing because it's not as likely to make money. The reason why McDonald's sells more burgers than all the four-star restaurants combined is that most people can't afford the latter. But there's no such supply restriction or price barrier in writing.

Wrath of Heaven: Has anyone heard anything about these "misprint" copies?

Looks more like a defective printing that passed a lazy QC. A "misprint" is something like an upside-down airplane on a postage stamp -- something that never should have happened, expensive to fix, with a desperate effort to control the damage by destroying all known copies. It's that last bit that jacks up the value. You're just holding faded ink.

I think the store just unloaded a bad copy on you. You were a sucker for a day. That said, consider your market is one of the stupidest hordes of suckers to drag their knuckles on the planet. You'll probably be able to make the same argument on eBay and sell the book for far more than what it should be worth.

star_topology: It will make your girlfriend/spouse horny.

Or so I've heard.

You heard right.

I'm so tired. So very, very tired.....I had imagined death by snoo-snoo would be much quicker.

dragonchild: Wrath of Heaven: Has anyone heard anything about these "misprint" copies?

Looks more like a defective printing that passed a lazy QC. A "misprint" is something like an upside-down airplane on a postage stamp -- something that never should have happened, expensive to fix, with a desperate effort to control the damage by destroying all known copies. It's that last bit that jacks up the value. You're just holding faded ink.

I think the store just unloaded a bad copy on you. You were a sucker for a day. That said, consider your market is one of the stupidest hordes of suckers to drag their knuckles on the planet. You'll probably be able to make the same argument on eBay and sell the book for far more than what it should be worth.

It actually has the embossing where the ink should go for the last line of the title as well as the entire author line at the bottom, but none of the silver ink was actually printed.

If paying retail price for a unique copy of a popular book makes me a sucker that's fine with me.

brigid_fitch: There's plenty of decent erotica out there

Yeah but let's be honest; 99.9% is on the level of 50 Shades. Most erotica is crap. In fact, so much of it is that it's not worth sifting through barrels of mood-killing crap to find some good stuff unless you're intentionally looking for unintentional hilarity.

What I don't want to face is the fact that this piece of average erotica sold. Like, people paid money to read it. Again, nothing wrong with wanting to read it, but you could download something better for free if you're into that sort of thing.