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(Modern Primate)   Conservatives on Twitter suggest things Mitt Romney should have said to the NAACP. Given that this is the GOP and the internet, you can guess what happened   (modernprimate.com) divider line 96
    More: Amusing, Mitt Romney, NAACP, Twitter, black Republicans, black community, Swiss bank  
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6363 clicks; posted to Politics » on 12 Jul 2012 at 11:12 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-12 11:58:58 AM

tricycleracer: My party introduced and passed nearly ever piece of Civil Rights legislation for black as Dems fought them.

Yes, and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers won the 2002 championship. It doesn't mean they're the same team today.


I was just curious which Republicans they were talking about, so I looked it up on Wikipedia (I know, despite the liberal slant and everything):

Civil Rights Act of 1960: Introduced in the House as H.R. 8601 by Emanuel Celler (D-NY) on March 10, 1960

Civil Rights Act of 1964: Introduced in the House as H.R. 7152 by Emanuel Celler (D-NY) on June 20, 1963

Voting Rights Act of 1965: Introduced in the Senate as S 1564 by Mike Mansfield (D-MT) and Everett Dirksen (R-IL) on March 18, 1965

Civil Rights Act of 1968: Introduced in the House as H.R. 2516 by Emanuel Celler (D-NY) on January 7, 1967

So... yeah. I guess props to Senator Everett Dirksen for representing the Republican Party there.
 
2012-07-12 11:59:42 AM
a.abcnews.com

There's a very good reason I have a bunch of money in accounts in the Cayman Islands. I vacation there with my family six times a year, and we need enough money to fuel up our Learjet, take our Sea-Doos around the islands, and pay for all the lobster and caviar we eat.
 
2012-07-12 12:02:25 PM

Sock Ruh Tease: [i.imgur.com image 460x276]
"I like real, wholesome, American things, like you. I like watermelons, and I love fried chicken. I even enjoy a purple drink from time to time. But Barack Obama doesn't hold those real American values like I do - like all you people do."


Purple Drank: Purple. Wet. promethazine-codeine high.
 
2012-07-12 12:02:25 PM
mjcdn.motherjones.com
"A favorite American folk hero of mine is Carl "CJ" Johnson. In his quest to kill corrupt police officers unfairly targeting his 'hood, he steals property and buys out businesses. I have already started buying out businesses and stealing property. But since whitey frowns upon killing police officers, I promise to fire all police officers who provide services to me."
 
2012-07-12 12:08:39 PM
Remind them that Al Gore's father voted AGAINST Civil Rights--yeah, THAT Al Gore.

Not even some other guy who last held office over a decade ago, but that other guy's father.

My party introduced and passed nearly ever piece of Civil Rights legislation for black as Dems fought them.

If you count the 1800s, and disregard that the Republicans of any more than a decade ago would be drummed out of the party because RINO!!!!
 
2012-07-12 12:10:54 PM

Arkanaut: I was just curious which Republicans they were talking about, so I looked it up on Wikipedia (I know, despite the liberal slant and everything):


The flip side to that is that the Southern Democrats controlled everything and blocked passage. You'll notice that the D listed is from New York, and I think New England area R's pushed for reform. That all changed when LBJ started running things in the Senate and saw it as a way to get into the Oval Office.
 
2012-07-12 12:11:40 PM
rolandmartinreports.com

How could you possibly think I'm racist against you people? My religion has allowed blacks to be priests since I was 31 years old!
 
2012-07-12 12:15:10 PM

lelio: Arkanaut: I was just curious which Republicans they were talking about, so I looked it up on Wikipedia (I know, despite the liberal slant and everything):

The flip side to that is that the Southern Democrats controlled everything and blocked passage. You'll notice that the D listed is from New York, and I think New England area R's pushed for reform. That all changed when LBJ started running things in the Senate and saw it as a way to get into the Oval Office.


Conservatives conveniently omit the distinction between northern and southern Democrats when pushing this ridiculous talking point. They just yell "RACIST DEMOKKRATS" and assume they are making sense and being historically accurate.
 
2012-07-12 12:26:49 PM

Sock Ruh Tease: [mjcdn.motherjones.com image 450x339]
"A favorite American folk hero of mine is Carl "CJ" Johnson. In his quest to kill corrupt police officers unfairly targeting his 'hood, he steals property and buys out businesses. I have already started buying out businesses and stealing property. But since whitey frowns upon killing police officers, I promise to fire all police officers who provide services to me."


Guerillas in tha Mist yo!
 
2012-07-12 12:33:49 PM

Arkanaut: so I looked it up on Wikipedia (I know, despite the liberal slant and everything):


If something is straight up and it still looks slanted to you, you may be listing somewhat.
 
2012-07-12 12:36:06 PM

Maud Dib: sprawl15: [a.abcnews.com image 640x360]

I know there has been a lot of scary language thrown around by the Mainstream Media about 'offshoring', but they refuse to address the real issues. Let me be clear: when Bain offshored jobs, the employess did not have to swim. The 'shore' is metaphorical. I know that's kind of a deal breaker for you people.

Damnitsomuch.


SIck minds think alike.
 
2012-07-12 12:37:15 PM
www.csmonitor.com
"I understand that there are many in the crowd who enjoy basketball. That game is great. I always enjoy watching those people running across the field, trying to kick the ball into the opposing army's basket. Personally, I am not very good at sports myself. Apparently you cannot ride a horse to get from base to base in tennis. Who knew? I certainly didn't. I felt as embarrassed as you might feel when being stopped and frisked in a major city."
 
2012-07-12 12:38:58 PM
rolandmartinreports.com

What is up, my brothers? I often enjoy the rap music, too. In fact, I have adopted a rap name. MC Curse of Ham Hocks is about to drop some freestyle in your ear.

Obama causes misery and an awful lot of strife.
My church doesn't believe that you'll have a human afterlife.
I love the blah people and I'm man enough to dare
You and your family to get off of welfare.
Because it's wiggy wiggy wack that it's poverty you're claimin'
When you could just draw on your accounts from the island of Cayman.

Now allow me to introduce my hype guys:

marc.merlins.org
 
2012-07-12 12:49:42 PM

Superjew: Arkanaut: so I looked it up on Wikipedia (I know, despite the liberal slant and everything):

If something is straight up and it still looks slanted to you, you may be listing somewhat.


Oh yeah? Then tell me this: if Wikipedia is so straight up, then why does there need to be a Conservapedia to balance it out? Huh?
 
2012-07-12 12:54:06 PM

gimmegimme: [IcyHotStuntaz]


Why are the doors open on that SUV?

And is that guy on the right wearing a Detroit Lions jersey while there's a Green Bay Packers logo on the front license plate?

Inquiring minds want to know!!!
 
2012-07-12 12:55:17 PM
Before the 2010 elections the GOP put up a site where anyone who wanted to could submit ideas for how the GOP should go about solving problems in various categories. I submitted 2 solutions, and both of them got a huge number of +votes from other users of the site, and were, for a time, ranked highly enough that they showed up on the front page as examples of ideas submitted by users.

1: Global Warming/Climate Change: "We should wrap black people in tin foil so that they reflect the sun's light back into space. It is a proven fact that darker colors absorb more sunlight than lighter colors, and a substantial number of human beings are darker than is optimal for the health of our planet. This will have the additional effects of stimulating the tin foil and associated industries, as well as making it much easier to know who is a black person and who is not so that I can cross the street because negroes frighten me."

2: Small business promotion: "I run a stable of 20 hos, and let me tell you, pimpin' ain't easy. Between having to pay off corrupt cops, defending my girls from other players and trying to recruit some new sweet young things it's just very hard for me to get by in my day to day. We need to set a standard rate for bribing the police, allow H1B visas to be used to get some exotic girls from the orient, lower the age of consent to 10 so I can get into now untapped markets, and legalize heroin and crack so that I can keep my biatches in line while cutting the costs of doing so.

I hope that the GOP continues to try to crowdsource their ideas.
 
2012-07-12 12:56:48 PM

Arkanaut: Superjew: Arkanaut: so I looked it up on Wikipedia (I know, despite the liberal slant and everything):

If something is straight up and it still looks slanted to you, you may be listing somewhat.

Oh yeah? Then tell me this: if Wikipedia is so straight up, then why does there need to be a Conservapedia to balance it out? Huh?


*looks up 'southern strategy' on Conservapedia*

The Southern strategy is a path to the White House by winning support in the South rather than the media centers of Boston and New York City.

Liberals, repeatedly unpopular in the South, have tried to attribute this strategy to racial politics. The reality is that liberals have always played the racist card far more often than Republicans do.

See also:
Liberals and racism: the historical racist support the Democratic Party had.


Oh dear lord!
 
2012-07-12 12:56:55 PM

zappaisfrank: tricycleracer: My party introduced and passed nearly ever piece of Civil Rights legislation for black as Dems fought them.

Yes, and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers won the 2002 championship. It doesn't mean they're the same team today.

Interesting how Conservatives totally pretend the "Southern Strategy" never happened.



To be fair, their homeschooled curriculum never covered the topic. Mostly, that era was covered in the Chapter "How blah people wasted thousands of gallons of water during the Birmingham riots."
 
2012-07-12 12:59:31 PM
There are more lulz in this thread alone than all the conservative humor ever produced.
 
2012-07-12 01:02:10 PM
a.abcnews.com

Look, the whiter the Romney, the sweeter the amount of money in offshore accounts.
 
2012-07-12 01:07:09 PM
rolandmartinreports.com

On my clammy dees, on my damie kings; I'ma cry the pooster. I'm a cry the pooster. Dirty Dee, you're a baddy daddy lamatai tabby chai! Cole me down on the panny sty. Wa Da Tah.
 
2012-07-12 01:11:49 PM

theknuckler_33: Arkanaut: Superjew: Arkanaut: so I looked it up on Wikipedia (I know, despite the liberal slant and everything):

If something is straight up and it still looks slanted to you, you may be listing somewhat.

Oh yeah? Then tell me this: if Wikipedia is so straight up, then why does there need to be a Conservapedia to balance it out? Huh?

*looks up 'southern strategy' on Conservapedia*

The Southern strategy is a path to the White House by winning support in the South rather than the media centers of Boston and New York City.

Liberals, repeatedly unpopular in the South, have tried to attribute this strategy to racial politics. The reality is that liberals have always played the racist card far more often than Republicans do.

See also:
Liberals and racism: the historical racist support the Democratic Party had.

Oh dear lord!


To amend my earlier post, this thread has more lulz than all the intentionally produced conservative humor ever made.
 
2012-07-12 01:15:28 PM
a.abcnews.com

Some of you might know I'm a huge Janis Joplin fan ... he's my rendition of her song ... no not "Mercedes Benz" but "Piece of My Heart" .... oh lordy lordy lordy oh oh oh me and my bobbie mcgee
 
2012-07-12 01:19:00 PM
rolandmartinreports.com

Caaaaaaaaaamptown ladies sing this song, doo dah, doo dah

images.politico.com

What in the wide, wide world of sports is a-goin' on here? I left the primary to let you win in the general, not to let you stump around like a bunch of Kansas City Democrats.

global.fncstatic.com
 
2012-07-12 01:21:13 PM

sprawl15: [rolandmartinreports.com image 628x353]

Caaaaaaaaaamptown ladies sing this song, doo dah, doo dah

[images.politico.com image 605x328]

What in the wide, wide world of sports is a-goin' on here? I left the primary to let you win in the general, not to let you stump around like a bunch of Kansas City Democrats.

[global.fncstatic.com image 640x360]


Ha! I vote you for winner.
 
2012-07-12 01:23:16 PM
The "Romney at the NAACP" meme is the best meme since the "Palin vs Biden" three panels.

I'm dyin' here!
 
2012-07-12 01:24:26 PM
img821.imageshack.us

I understand urban audiences like Tyler Perry movies, so here's my suggestion for Tyler Perry's Medea Goes to Washington: "Aw hell no Obama! I ain't taking your welfare checks!" Thank you, thank you.
 
2012-07-12 01:29:46 PM

sprawl15: [rolandmartinreports.com image 628x353]

Caaaaaaaaaamptown ladies sing this song, doo dah, doo dah

[images.politico.com image 605x328]

What in the wide, wide world of sports is a-goin' on here? I left the primary to let you win in the general, not to let you stump around like a bunch of Kansas City Democrats.

[global.fncstatic.com image 640x360]


img821.imageshack.us

And this was my favorite part of the movie. The old drunk guy says, "The Sheriff is a ni-" but then the bell rings and the townsfolk say "He says the sheriff is near!" ha ha Oh, Mel Brooks. Those people sure know comedy.
 
2012-07-12 01:47:01 PM

metztli: Before the 2010 elections the GOP put up a site where anyone who wanted to could submit ideas for how the GOP should go about solving problems in various categories. I submitted 2 solutions, and both of them got a huge number of +votes from other users of the site, and were, for a time, ranked highly enough that they showed up on the front page as examples of ideas submitted by users.

1: Global Warming/Climate Change: "We should wrap black people in tin foil so that they reflect the sun's light back into space. It is a proven fact that darker colors absorb more sunlight than lighter colors, and a substantial number of human beings are darker than is optimal for the health of our planet. This will have the additional effects of stimulating the tin foil and associated industries, as well as making it much easier to know who is a black person and who is not so that I can cross the street because negroes frighten me."

2: Small business promotion: "I run a stable of 20 hos, and let me tell you, pimpin' ain't easy. Between having to pay off corrupt cops, defending my girls from other players and trying to recruit some new sweet young things it's just very hard for me to get by in my day to day. We need to set a standard rate for bribing the police, allow H1B visas to be used to get some exotic girls from the orient, lower the age of consent to 10 so I can get into now untapped markets, and legalize heroin and crack so that I can keep my biatches in line while cutting the costs of doing so.

I hope that the GOP continues to try to crowdsource their ideas.


I like to think there is a very confused staffer who is still working out this whole internets thing, and who is working diligently to distill these crowdsourced ideas into some kind of coherent platform.

I *really* like to think that this is how the GOP ended up where they are today. By finding out what their base actually thought.
 
2012-07-12 01:47:14 PM

Mentat: cman: If subby actually read the article, they would have obviously seen that these posts were from people mocking Republicans, not Republicans themselves.

No, it started with conservatives trying and failing to be funny and was hijacked by everyone else.


Well generally Liberals are better at being funny. Normally when Conservatives do it, it just come off as hateful.
 
2012-07-12 01:50:52 PM
www.rawstory.com

Watermelon? Melon. Water. Good.
 
2012-07-12 01:51:19 PM
i256.photobucket.com

You know, some of my best friends are bl ... umm, wait. You know, some of my best friends know people who are bl ... ummm. OK, hold on, some of my friends ... Ah, to hell with it. Kill whitey. End quote!
 
2012-07-12 01:56:37 PM

Sock Ruh Tease: [www.csmonitor.com image 600x400]
"I understand that there are many in the crowd who enjoy basketball. That game is great. I always enjoy watching those people running across the field, trying to kick the ball into the opposing army's basket. Personally, I am not very good at sports myself. Apparently you cannot ride a horse to get from base to base in tennis. Who knew? I certainly didn't. I felt as embarrassed as you might feel when being stopped and frisked in a major city."


I lost it there. You get the first of many favourites in this thread.
 
2012-07-12 02:03:51 PM
i49.tinypic.com

Look, when I asked for one of those chocolate goodies, I meant a donut. Don't take it personally."
 
2012-07-12 02:05:02 PM
img821.imageshack.us

My friends, I can assure you that I am in your corner. My favorite Street Fighter character, for instance, is Balrog. In the original Japanese release, he was M. Bison, but east coast liberals were outraged at that. They used Mike Tyson's recent 'indiscretions' end of quote as justification to change the names around, but they really just wanted to see the negro fighter named after a demon rather than a great negroid hero like Mike Tyson. To sum up, like so many of you people, I really liked the Balrog in Lord of the Rings. Hail Iluvatar.
 
2012-07-12 02:11:23 PM
img821.imageshack.us

...and that's why I petitioned the Massachusetts Assembly to take Plymouth Rock and rename it Christopher Rock.

Chris? Is it Chris? Well, I haven't been introduced yet. Is he here tonight? No? Shame. First, no William Smith, now no Christopher Rock. I thought they'd be here.
 
2012-07-12 02:30:02 PM
img821.imageshack.us

You see, my friends? President Obama and the Democrats be driving a car like this. The Republicans and I be driving a car like this.

You all know what the tax man can be like in America. If you make too much, they want HALF. They're always coming up to you asking for HALF. What I want to do is get me a bank account from Switzerland. You're going to see me on the cover of Venture Capital Monthly with the most Swiss-looking banker you can imagine. He won't want half. But then the Democrats will start talking to the banker and pretty soon he'll say, "Mitt...I want HALF."
 
2012-07-12 02:35:06 PM
i256.photobucket.com

You know, I was just thinking back to that great day when I watched my dad march with Martin Luther King, Jr. Well, OK, I wasn't actually THERE. And Dad didn't ACTUALLY march with him. But what a memory! I bet you people have some great memories from the sixties, too. It's like we're connected somehow!
 
2012-07-12 02:40:19 PM
blog.zap2it.com
"So I was like, sir, do you know why you were pulled over? And he was all, no mistuh, I hasn't gots no clue! And I told him it was illegal to be in this town after sun... err... that his tail light was out."
 
2012-07-12 03:18:23 PM
im really sad that one guy's suggestion of "i am hear to jack my dick" wasn't on there
 
2012-07-12 03:32:58 PM
Been pulled over for no reason? I know how that feels - well, from the other side at least.
 
2012-07-12 03:46:29 PM

RsquaredW: Been pulled over for no reason? I know how that feels - well, from the other side at least.


Oooh...good one.

nationalmemo.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com
 
2012-07-12 03:51:33 PM
blog.zap2it.com

"I have listened to some of this rap music you people are so fond of.
Your musicians seem to enjoy money and guns, and express hatred for the gays.
They also enjoy using that N word a lot.
So, my homies, you and the GOP have something in common."
 
2012-07-12 05:21:23 PM

Diogenes:
They're still trying to rest on Lincoln's laurels.


And a not-so-insignificant number of them are secessionists.

We could power the entire planet if we could harness Lincoln spinning in his grave.
 
2012-07-12 06:21:14 PM

Parthenogenetic: [blog.zap2it.com image 600x352]

"I have listened to some of this rap music you people are so fond of.
Your musicians seem to enjoy money and guns, and express hatred for the gays.
They also enjoy using that N word a lot.
So, my homies, you and the GOP have something in common."


You just did an end-around on Sock Ruh Tease and took the lead.
 
2012-07-12 10:14:15 PM
The folks was freakin'! And the pilots was laid-to-the-bone!!
 
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