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(AZCentral)   When filling out a job application, it's best not to put in the phrase "If you be quiet and help me, you won't die"   (azcentral.com) divider line 43
    More: Misc, job applications, Jason Dornhoff, bomb threat  
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6875 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Jul 2012 at 11:26 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



43 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-07-11 11:27:06 PM  
Fartbongo!
 
2012-07-11 11:27:38 PM  
Help him do what?
 
2012-07-11 11:28:22 PM  
Um,


Resume 101: Understand your audience.

;)
 
2012-07-11 11:29:44 PM  
Oh, so THAT's what's been holding me back in my job search. Good to know.
 
2012-07-11 11:32:02 PM  
Court documents say Dornhoff told police he uses methamphetamines and went to the restaurant hoping to find a way to fulfill his sexual fantasies.

I've had some pretty weird sexual fantasies, but threatening to blow up a restaurant has never been one of them.
 
2012-07-11 11:36:06 PM  
Pfff, Subby, like you've got a better answer to "where do you see this company in 5 years"
 
2012-07-11 11:40:04 PM  
What was his fantasy? Putting pubes in the salad or something?
 
2012-07-11 11:40:13 PM  

fusillade762: Court documents say Dornhoff told police he uses methamphetamines and went to the restaurant hoping to find a way to fulfill his sexual fantasies.

I've had some pretty weird sexual fantasies, but threatening to blow up a restaurant has never been one of them.


This ^ lol
 
2012-07-11 11:41:28 PM  
img.photobucket.com
 
2012-07-11 11:41:51 PM  
Reminds me..I have to work on my pick up line.
You scream and I'll kill you.
 
2012-07-11 11:43:02 PM  

fusillade762: Court documents say Dornhoff told police he uses methamphetamines and went to the restaurant hoping to find a way to fulfill his sexual fantasies.

I've had some pretty weird sexual fantasies, but threatening to blow up a restaurant has never been one of them.


Maybe there was a mistake in the note and he meant to say "blow everyone in the restaurant."
 
2012-07-11 11:46:49 PM  

Theaetetus: Pfff, Subby, like you've got a better answer to "where do you see this company in 5 years"


I do: "I see this company growing upon the things we learn together and build together, you?"

Reevaluated: Smartest device.

Free?
 
2012-07-11 11:49:23 PM  

Rufus Lee King: [i.imgur.com image 600x810]


I'd hire him.
 
2012-07-11 11:53:17 PM  
Hey, at least he only used one page.

A resume should fit onto one page, no exceptions. If you can't manage to fit it all onto one page, you aren't worth hiring because you either:
A: Have no sense of priority (If you have graduated college, I don't care what you did in high school)
B: Blew your whole load typing up a short novel so that you have nothing new or interesting to say in the interview
C: Included too many things you don't actually know about that I can kill you on in the interview (For science positions I have people list every equipment/analysis acronym they ever saw. It really gets bad when recent grads claim they are experts on methods that haven't been widely practiced in decades because they saw it on their instrumental analysis syllabus)

/but but but I have a long list of publications
//Then you have a CV, not a resume
///Hates when recruiters put their shiat up at the top stretching a resume onto a 2nd page
 
2012-07-11 11:54:45 PM  
Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?
 
2012-07-11 11:54:46 PM  

Indubitably: Theaetetus: Pfff, Subby, like you've got a better answer to "where do you see this company in 5 years"

I do: "I see this company growing upon the things we learn together and build together, you?"

Reevaluated: Smartest device.

Free?


The correct answer is: Sitting where you are, after I have pushed you up the ladder to make room."

Also, it sounds like this guy does A LOT of methamphetamine. It's like when someone tells you they are drunk. That means they are 2.875 sheets to the wind.
 
2012-07-11 11:57:52 PM  
Or, "celebrating the 5 year anniversary of you asking me that question."

/Hedberg
 
2012-07-11 11:59:08 PM  

Ashtrey: Indubitably: Theaetetus: Pfff, Subby, like you've got a better answer to "where do you see this company in 5 years"

I do: "I see this company growing upon the things we learn together and build together, you?"

Reevaluated: Smartest device.

Free?

The correct answer is: Sitting where you are, after I have pushed you up the ladder to make room."

Also, it sounds like this guy does A LOT of methamphetamine. It's like when someone tells you they are drunk. That means they are 2.875 sheets to the wind.


Where's the Boobiesrophe? Bibly-meth too? And maths?

*sigh*

You disgrace...
 
2012-07-12 12:06:02 AM  

RogermcAllen:
//Then you have a CV, not a resume
///Hates when recruiters put their shiat up at the top stretching a resume onto a 2nd page


. . .I have an aircraft carrier?

SWEET!
 
2012-07-12 12:06:16 AM  
Sounds like somebody didn't keep quiet
 
2012-07-12 12:09:34 AM  
Seems like a small price for immortality.
 
2012-07-12 12:13:25 AM  
"If you be quiet and help me, you won't die"

If he/she had only polished their grammar a bit.
 
2012-07-12 12:15:14 AM  
So did they hire him or not?
 
2012-07-12 12:21:46 AM  

Rufus Lee King: [i.imgur.com image 600x810]


That wasn't a very good job of censoring. I now know his first and last name and probably his email address.
 
2012-07-12 12:22:21 AM  
Not sure. Better for who?
 
2012-07-12 12:24:44 AM  

LaughingRadish: Rufus Lee King: [i.imgur.com image 600x810]

That wasn't a very good job of censoring. I now know his first and last name and probably his email address.


I'd keep quiet about it if I were you.
 
2012-07-12 12:27:01 AM  
fusillade762:

Court documents say Dornhoff told police he uses methamphetamines and went to the restaurant hoping to find a way to fulfill his sexual fantasies.

I've had some pretty weird sexual fantasies, but threatening to blow up a restaurant has never been one of them.


Maybe the fantasies concerned what might happen after he plead guilty.

And who needs meth to fuel a fantasy life? If your brain is that slow you should count your blessings; being a hypercerebral genius never got me anything.
 
2012-07-12 12:28:29 AM  
Did he finish?
 
2012-07-12 12:35:46 AM  
Sounds like an incredibly small price to pay for immortality to me.
 
2012-07-12 12:42:34 AM  
Actually, I've had a couple of interviews where I wished I had that kind of leverage to get the job.
 
2012-07-12 12:48:28 AM  
A lot of companies really appreciate that sort of can-do go-getter attitude.
 
2012-07-12 01:10:34 AM  
Does doing meth make you forget that a job is an every day thing, and not something where you make a threat, get something in return, and then you never see those people again? In other words, did he realize it was a job interview and not a robbery?

BANK ROBBER: "Give me a bag of money in non-sequential bills and no ink packs, or I'll blow you away. And also, could you pass this resume onto your manager?"
 
2012-07-12 01:15:00 AM  

ThrobblefootSpectre: A lot of companies really appreciate that sort of can-do go-getter attitude.


He should have applied to Halliburton or Blackwater.
 
2012-07-12 01:29:53 AM  

RogermcAllen: Hey, at least he only used one page.

A resume should fit onto one page, no exceptions. If you can't manage to fit it all onto one page, you aren't worth hiring because you either:
A: Have no sense of priority (If you have graduated college, I don't care what you did in high school)
B: Blew your whole load typing up a short novel so that you have nothing new or interesting to say in the interview
C: Included too many things you don't actually know about that I can kill you on in the interview (For science positions I have people list every equipment/analysis acronym they ever saw. It really gets bad when recent grads claim they are experts on methods that haven't been widely practiced in decades because they saw it on their instrumental analysis syllabus)

/but but but I have a long list of publications
//Then you have a CV, not a resume
///Hates when recruiters put their shiat up at the top stretching a resume onto a 2nd page


What do you do if you're someone like me, pushing 50 with three careers under my belt and more certifications and degrees than you can shake a stick at?

Seriously, just my law school career laps over onto the second page, with my externships and volunteer work.
 
2012-07-12 01:32:42 AM  
"Investigators say Jason Dornhoff told them he was on meth and went into the restaurant trying to fulfill one of his sexual fantasies. "


media.foxcharlotte.com

Does anybody really want to know what that fantasy is?
 
2012-07-12 01:49:57 AM  

fusillade762: Court documents say Dornhoff told police he uses methamphetamines and went to the restaurant hoping to find a way to fulfill his sexual fantasies.

I've had some pretty weird sexual fantasies, but threatening to blow up a restaurant has never been one of them.

Yes, but I assume you're not a meth addict. Meth addicts from what I've heard have an insatiable and probably bizarre sexual appetite

 
2012-07-12 03:22:56 AM  
Nothing worse than a meth head with ambitions
 
2012-07-12 03:38:11 AM  
Does this count as a weekly job application in order to stay on unemployment?
 
2012-07-12 07:59:02 AM  
Impressive use of the subjunctive, though:
"If you be quiet and help me, you won't die."
Maybe he was just demonstrating his grammar skills.
 
2012-07-12 08:02:54 AM  
less of a threat, and more like a way to achieve immortality?
 
2012-07-12 11:24:22 AM  
Since when did Sheriff Joe need a second job?
 
2012-07-12 11:46:45 AM  

lelio: Does this count as a weekly job application in order to stay on unemployment?


it's unemployment fraud if your on methamphetamines
 
2012-07-12 07:57:39 PM  

Gyrfalcon: RogermcAllen: Hey, at least he only used one page.

A resume should fit onto one page, no exceptions. If you can't manage to fit it all onto one page, you aren't worth hiring because you either:
A: Have no sense of priority (If you have graduated college, I don't care what you did in high school)
B: Blew your whole load typing up a short novel so that you have nothing new or interesting to say in the interview
C: Included too many things you don't actually know about that I can kill you on in the interview (For science positions I have people list every equipment/analysis acronym they ever saw. It really gets bad when recent grads claim they are experts on methods that haven't been widely practiced in decades because they saw it on their instrumental analysis syllabus)

/but but but I have a long list of publications
//Then you have a CV, not a resume
///Hates when recruiters put their shiat up at the top stretching a resume onto a 2nd page

What do you do if you're someone like me, pushing 50 with three careers under my belt and more certifications and degrees than you can shake a stick at?

Seriously, just my law school career laps over onto the second page, with my externships and volunteer work.


With that much content, you are most likely into CV territory. For a resume I would expect content targeted towards the specific job you are apply for with something like "Full Certification Listing available upon request". Most people don't have time to dig through pages of content to find what they actually care about. Put another way, if you can't figure out which parts of your experience are actually important to the potential employer, they probably aren't a good fit for you.

For the sake of argument, lets say you were a lawyer, a doctor, and a state senator. When applying to a law firm you should mention that you were a doctor and a senator, but there is no need to waste real estate listing all of your doctor certifications and how you voted for your last two terms in office.

/I usually deal with people who are just entering the workforce, so multiple pages of actual content aren't usually an issue for me
 
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