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(Fark)   Question for computer nerds: Compared to my first computer, my current computer has a CPU that's over 300 times faster and has 500 times more memory and storage. So WHY DOES EVERYTHING STILL TAKE JUST AS LONG?   (fark.com) divider line 60
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5146 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Jul 2012 at 2:30 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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DGS [TotalFark]
2012-07-11 01:34:35 PM  
9 votes:
You're not getting enough electricity to power it. Upgrade with 2 more hamsters.. and for fark's sake, try to treat them differently than you do the gerbils.
2012-07-11 02:37:47 PM  
8 votes:
The problem is that your computer doesn't have a "Turbo" button:
4.bp.blogspot.com
From 33 mhz, to a blistering 66 mhz!!!
2012-07-11 01:31:38 PM  
7 votes:
Because you need to upgrade your dial-up Juno connection.
2012-07-11 01:33:48 PM  
6 votes:
Because it's still just a magical gnome inside of the box who does all of the actual processing. Give the gnome some damn time to do his job!
2012-07-11 01:31:10 PM  
6 votes:
You're full of spyware from all the porn sites you surf without protection, you filthy animal.
2012-07-11 01:55:06 PM  
5 votes:
Look Subby, back in the day you downloaded low res jpegs of nekkid wimmens, today Bit Torrenting Hi-Def Donkey Porn sucks up a lot of bandwidth and CPU cycles. Be thankful you can do it at all, in my day we had to road trip to Tijuana to see Donkey Porn.
2012-07-11 03:20:59 PM  
4 votes:

Phoenix87ta: zedster: Phoenix87ta: zedster: subby please do the following
go to start and run "msconfig"
click the startup tab
hit print screen
open up mspaint
hit ctrl+v
hit ctrl+s and save it
upload the image here so we can see how much crap your computer is loading

$10 on Bonzi Buddy

I'll see you on that one and go $100 on shopathome

And an extra $100 on unnecessary software bundled with subby's device drivers.


Add $100 that his IE looks like this:
rdmventure.com

Which I had to explain to my mom shouldn't be like that.
2012-07-11 01:36:17 PM  
4 votes:
This is like a fat guy complaining that his pants are as tight as they were when he was skinny.
2012-07-11 01:31:05 PM  
4 votes:
because you used to touch yourself at night. now you can't keep your hands off your junk.
2012-07-11 01:30:55 PM  
4 votes:
I am betting it doesn't take as long. You've just trained yourself to be an increasingly impatient bastard.
2012-07-11 03:09:47 PM  
3 votes:
Psssh. My first computer ran on coal.
I remember one time waiting 20 minutes for an ASCII picture of a naked girl to load so that I could masturbate, and right in the middle of it, the machine shuts down all because grandma was too lazy to shovel coal.

Biatch. I missed the first ten minutes of Knight Rider because of her.
2012-07-11 02:40:21 PM  
3 votes:
Obligatory:

i.imgur.com
2012-07-11 01:45:16 PM  
3 votes:
We told you 640KB of memory was enough, but you wouldn't listen.
2012-07-11 03:30:06 PM  
2 votes:
Then

i47.tinypic.com



Now

i46.tinypic.com
2012-07-11 03:20:56 PM  
2 votes:
You just need to take your computer to Best Buy and get the Geek Squad to take a look at it. I hear that their friendly and knowledgeable staff can use their extensive experience in virtually every aspect of technology to quickly make miraculous improvements in any electronic device's performance for an incredibly low price. In the exceedingly unlikely event that they cannot fix your computer, they will work hard to help you select the most economical replacement from the store's vast stock of reasonably priced equipment.
2012-07-11 03:15:11 PM  
2 votes:
while != 100000
i = random * 100000
loop

The above code is stuck in every few pages of modern code. That and all 435 programs installed on your computer ping the web for updates every few seconds. And animation sequences with 32 alpha channel graphics have to load every time your mouse hovers over an icon/window/button/etc.
2012-07-11 03:03:55 PM  
2 votes:
Dark Helmet:
"F*ck! Even in the future nothing works!"
2012-07-11 03:03:15 PM  
2 votes:
Then:
www.mobygames.com
'Oh. look. A dragon'

Now:
andrewhemphill.files.wordpress.com
'OH FARKING FARK FARK! A FARKING DRAGON!'

That's why there is no difference in speed,
2012-07-11 02:54:30 PM  
2 votes:

InfamousBLT: Quasar: Your computer has more to do now.

Also B, you have another bottleneck somewhere else. Possibly hard drive read/write speed.


You probably don't have enough CPU fluid ...check the resivoiur and if it's at the full line you need to see if you need to add I & H Dead-Water Copper Sulfate Biocidal PC Coolant Additive

www.frozencpu.com
2012-07-11 02:48:10 PM  
2 votes:
THEN: It used to take 70 minutes to burn an audio CD from .wav files (any faster and you'd get buffer underruns which would corrupt the audio).
NOW: An audio CD takes 3 minutes (or less) to burn. And the buffers were huge.

THEN: a 640x480 picture took up your ENTIRE SCREEN, why the hell did you make your images that big.
NOW: 640x480 pictures (of chicks in bikinis) aren't even worth downloading (does this come in a larger size).

THEN: Holy shiat, 3D
dl.openhandhelds.org

NOW: Holy shiat, 3D
8bitalliance.com

THEN: that 640x480 picture would take you a second to download (like that 640x464 image I posted above, which is 49KB)
NOW: that 640x480 picture ... will still take you a second to download (because TCP overhead that's why) but you can download about 50+ other 640x480 pictures in that same second.

THEN: No tabbed browsing, not much in the way of plugins, barely any javascript, etc.
upload.wikimedia.org

NOW:
lordargent.com
2012-07-11 02:39:00 PM  
2 votes:
Because it's GOING TO SPACE!!!

Then COMING BACK FROM SPACE!!!
2012-07-11 02:01:29 PM  
2 votes:

t3knomanser: Developer time is expensive. CPU time is very cheap.


What about my time as I sit here waiting for an unresponsive Chrome tab to stop choking my browser?
2012-07-11 01:33:43 PM  
2 votes:

Quasar: Your computer has more to do now.


This. It's like biatching about how a tank of gas doesn't take you any farther after you upgraded to an H2.
2012-07-11 01:30:57 PM  
2 votes:
Two words:
Micro Soft
2012-07-13 01:12:51 AM  
1 votes:

Needlessly Complicated: My Etch-a-Sketch runs CRAZY fast!


Now give your boss her computer back. It's not nice to pick on mentally disabled people.

spatula-city.org
2012-07-12 12:00:24 PM  
1 votes:

thiazzi: lewismarktwo: thiazzi: <b><a href="http://www.fark.com/comments/7207971/78018118#c78018118" target="_blank">lewismarktwo</a>:</b> <i>thiazzi: I stopped complaining when it started to take less time to watch a movie than it did to download it.

Strike that, reverse it?</i>

You'd rather it take longer to download than to watch?

Been readin and writin long?


While I may fail at HTML replies, I surpass you in reading comprehension.


+1 if you're trolling.
minus one billion if you are serious.
2012-07-11 11:04:06 PM  
1 votes:

Raging Thespian: Because it's still just a magical gnome inside of the box who does all of the actual processing. Give the gnome some damn time to do his job!


I use KDE, you insensitive clod!
2012-07-11 05:37:58 PM  
1 votes:
Then...
www.jokelibrary.net

Now...
www.animated-gifs.eu
2012-07-11 03:36:14 PM  
1 votes:

kiteless: It's all of your smooth curved edges and your color gradients and your fancy pants animations! In the 90s I remember getting along on 16 colors with square corners and I was thankful for it!


Well, last I heard, you're going to get all of that back with Windows 8, so yay?
2012-07-11 03:32:20 PM  
1 votes:
Headline and some of the discussion here reminds me of this: Everything's amazing and nobody's happy
2012-07-11 03:24:26 PM  
1 votes:
Gates' Law: Every 18 months, the speed of software halves.
2012-07-11 03:21:00 PM  
1 votes:

kiteless: [codinghorror.typepad.com image 640x480]

It's all of your smooth curved edges and your color gradients and your fancy pants animations! In the 90s I remember getting along on 16 colors with square corners and I was thankful for it!


F*CK YEAH HOTDOG STAND
2012-07-11 03:13:05 PM  
1 votes:

Phoenix87ta: Nadie_AZ: Phoenix87ta: Nadie_AZ: Wish I could fire up some of the 90s Lucas Arts games ....

Ah 90s Star Wars games. You were awesome.

[www.ibiblio.org image 640x480]

I love that I can still play all the Lucasarts adventure games in ScummVM. Hell, they even ported it to PSP.

Wait, what? Tell me more.

ScummVM

Supported games list:

Compatibility

It's a beautiful thing. Full Throttle, Monkey Island and Sam and Max never get old.


This might be the greatest thing ever -except for a nice MLT - mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe.
2012-07-11 03:04:29 PM  
1 votes:
PEBCAK or ID - Ten - T error or Layor 8 error. Whatever you want to call it.
2012-07-11 03:03:58 PM  
1 votes:
subby please do the following
go to start and run "msconfig"
click the startup tab
hit print screen
open up mspaint
hit ctrl+v
hit ctrl+s and save it
upload the image here so we can see how much crap your computer is loading
2012-07-11 03:01:17 PM  
1 votes:

MythDragon: That 5GB 3000rpm HD that you are running Vista on, isn't helping much.


That's not funny. I've seen people try that.
2012-07-11 02:57:49 PM  
1 votes:
cause you never upgraded your 300 baud modem.
2012-07-11 02:53:08 PM  
1 votes:
asset0.cbsistatic.com
2012-07-11 02:48:48 PM  
1 votes:
All you guys calling for SSDs why not more RAM? Win7 Pro 192GB
2012-07-11 02:47:34 PM  
1 votes:

make me some tea: Because you need to upgrade your dial-up Juno connection.


LIES!
2012-07-11 02:45:14 PM  
1 votes:

labman: discgolfguru: This was my first system. You Commodore folks were barbarians.

You got the disc drive? I was stuck with the tape drive.


A commodore. PET. With a cassette drive. Uphill both ways. In snow. We ate dirt.

/and we were thankful!
2012-07-11 02:42:56 PM  
1 votes:
"Obvious" tag still loading?
2012-07-11 02:42:51 PM  
1 votes:
Subby should try running SimCopter side by side on a Windows 2000 machine versus a Windows 95 machine.

/I literally lol'd the first time I did it
2012-07-11 02:40:26 PM  
1 votes:
Subby, your question is about to be answered.
Now please insert floppy #11 and follow the on screen instructions.
2012-07-11 02:38:53 PM  
1 votes:
What Intel give'th, Microsoft take'th away
2012-07-11 02:34:26 PM  
1 votes:
Because you're moving the goal posts.
2012-07-11 02:33:47 PM  
1 votes:
Because there are several hundred times more tards on the net now.

And they're all downloading pictures, videos and music.
2012-07-11 02:33:13 PM  
1 votes:
Because you wanted a GUI. Command line interface wasn't good enough for you, ya bastard.
2012-07-11 02:32:51 PM  
1 votes:
Todays programmers are lazy farks
2012-07-11 02:13:42 PM  
1 votes:
Well for one thing, in order to read a one paragraph news story, you have to wait for 3 interactive ads, and one full length car commercial to load first.
2012-07-11 02:08:09 PM  
1 votes:

discgolfguru: This was my first system. You Commodore folks were barbarians.


You got the disc drive? I was stuck with the tape drive.
2012-07-11 02:03:50 PM  
1 votes:
Because of the callouses.......
2012-07-11 01:50:22 PM  
1 votes:

akula: InfamousBLT: Haha, this. Go play some super old DOS game. Watch as all of the animations are insanely fast, everything moves way too fast for your mind to even comprehend what is going on. It's actually kind of funny.

Many years ago I was talking to a guy, reminiscing about old computer games. I remarked how I liked the Test Drive series (especially TD2), but TD3 was unplayable on that 286... it ran, but only at something like 4 or 8 frames/second. He said he played the same game on a 386 and it ran properly, but on a 486 it just was way too fast for you to react.

We don't often go back and dust off old games from generations past, but yeah, when one does so the result is something that's really moving along.


I recall tales of one game (I don't remember the name, and I have never played it), but it was a chess game. For some reason, the difficulty of the game increased with the processing power. So, the faster computer you had, the harder the game was.

Apparently it is unplayable on modern computers by anyone except chess geniuses, because they didn't put a cap on the difficulty.
2012-07-11 01:49:28 PM  
1 votes:

Hyperbolic Hyperbole: umm.. were you even AROUND back in the days of dialup BBSes? seven minutes to download a single sexy jpg? squee'd your pants creamy when mom bought you a 28.8 modem? i mean that shiat was awesome but DON'T pretend it isn't any better than it was in '95.


Or the days of Napster where you'd queue up 3 songs right before you went to bed and if you were lucky you'd at least get one downloaded before it kicked you offline...

Not that I ever downloaded illegal music... 'cause I didn't... Unless the statute of limitations is over, in which case I probably did.
2012-07-11 01:46:10 PM  
1 votes:
umm.. were you even AROUND back in the days of dialup BBSes? seven minutes to download a single sexy jpg? squee'd your pants creamy when mom bought you a 28.8 modem? i mean that shiat was awesome but DON'T pretend it isn't any better than it was in '95.
2012-07-11 01:45:56 PM  
1 votes:

Aarontology: This is like a fat guy complaining that his pants are as tight as they were when he was skinny.


Silly man.

Fat people wear sweats with elastic waists.
2012-07-11 01:45:07 PM  
1 votes:

Raging Thespian: Because it's still just a magical gnome inside of the box who does all of the actual processing. Give the gnome some damn time to do his job!


I thought it was magic smoke. As longs as the magic smoke is contained in the computer, it works fine. Once you let the magic smoke out, then you have problems.
2012-07-11 01:44:10 PM  
1 votes:
Oh admins, you so crazy!
2012-07-11 01:36:37 PM  
1 votes:
I blame lazy ass web developers.

The things that seems to give my computer the most hangups are websites that think they have to act like full featured apps.
2012-07-11 01:31:31 PM  
1 votes:
because it isn't just running one tiny application anymore.

Likewise because of the advances in memory\cpu\storage, people don't need to code as tight as they used to.
 
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