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(NBC Philadelphia)   Have you ever been so pissed at someone who cut you off in traffic you pulled a crossbow on them?   (nbcphiladelphia.com) divider line 131
    More: Scary, road rage, deadly weapon  
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4018 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Jul 2012 at 1:50 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-10 11:51:31 PM
 
2012-07-10 11:54:07 PM
He brings a crossbow, you bring a trebuchet

/it's the medieval way
 
2012-07-11 12:01:51 AM
Crossbows are great weapons - easy to load, easy to fire, no training or upper body strength necessary, silent and it can go through armor.
 
2012-07-11 12:06:50 AM
Aaahhhhh.....no.

/Had to think about it.
 
2012-07-11 12:21:04 AM

RexTalionis: Crossbows are great weapons - easy to load, easy to fire, no training or upper body strength necessary, silent and it can go through armor.


And, you can enchant them easily and use Exploding Dwarven Bolts.

Assassinations are now a breeze in Skyrim.
 
2012-07-11 12:39:50 AM
No, but I did see a story years ago about a road rage incident involving a pastor shooting some guy with a crossbow. the victim pulled over to the side of the road because the "pastor" was harrassing him.

The funny thing, even though the guy was convicted and went to jail, he felt perfectly justified in shooting and killing a guy over....nothing. it was creepy.
 
2012-07-11 12:44:28 AM

Ambivalence: No, but I did see a story


See the above link.
 
2012-07-11 01:13:39 AM

NewportBarGuy: Ambivalence: No, but I did see a story

See the above link.


the above story was someone just pointing a crossbow at a motorist. This other story was from almost 20 years ago where a pastor SHOT and KILLED a man with a crossbow in a road rage incident.
 
2012-07-11 01:36:49 AM
Crossbows were once banned in warfare for being too easy to use by peasants.
 
2012-07-11 01:51:45 AM
I don't even own A crossbow, much less many crossbows that would necessitate a rack.
 
2012-07-11 01:53:12 AM
Is this a trick question?
 
2012-07-11 01:53:38 AM
Yes.

/conversation-stopper
 
2012-07-11 01:54:31 AM
Chewbacca defense.
 
2012-07-11 01:54:42 AM
Honestly, yes.

But, c'mon. This is me we are talking about.

/It wasn't loaded.
 
2012-07-11 01:55:33 AM
Have I? No. But I totally WOULD have if I thought I could get away with it. Also I'd need to buy one first, but it would be worth the investment.

/GET OFF YOUR CELL PHONE
//YOU ALMOST HIT ME YOU biatch
 
2012-07-11 01:55:48 AM

RexTalionis: Crossbows are great weapons - easy to load, easy to fire, no training or upper body strength necessary, silent and it can go through armor.


Silent? Except for the godawful crack and subequent clicking of the winch.
 
2012-07-11 01:55:55 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: He brings a crossbow, you bring a trebuchet

/it's the medieval way


Damn it - I was going to go there.

/Fark fark!
 
2012-07-11 01:56:45 AM
No, but I'm mostly because I don't keep weapons in my car. They stay home.
 
2012-07-11 01:56:49 AM

doglover: RexTalionis: Crossbows are great weapons - easy to load, easy to fire, no training or upper body strength necessary, silent and it can go through armor.

Silent? Except for the godawful crack and subequent clicking of the winch.


Also aren't they a lot slower to load than just drawing and nocking another arrow?
 
2012-07-11 01:56:50 AM

RexTalionis: Crossbows are great weapons - easy to load, easy to fire, no training or upper body strength necessary, silent and it can go through armor.


HAHAHAH no.

Some of them require a SERIOUS amount of strength to use.

I had an 80lb pull crossbow break a stirrup bolt on me once. I dont need to tell you what happened after.

/The bruise on the inside of my thigh lasted almost 6 mos.
//Then again, it was a couple hundred years old.
 
2012-07-11 01:57:43 AM

Ambivalence: No, but I did see a story years ago about a road rage incident involving a pastor shooting some guy with a crossbow. the victim pulled over to the side of the road because the "pastor" was harrassing him.

The funny thing, even though the guy was convicted and went to jail, he felt perfectly justified in shooting and killing a guy over....nothing. it was creepy.


Road rage is not nothing. Usually it's the slow guy's fault. Other times, it's still the slow guy's fault.
 
2012-07-11 01:57:56 AM
media.hideyourarms.com
 
2012-07-11 01:57:58 AM

ladyfortuna: doglover: RexTalionis: Crossbows are great weapons - easy to load, easy to fire, no training or upper body strength necessary, silent and it can go through armor.

Silent? Except for the godawful crack and subequent clicking of the winch.

Also aren't they a lot slower to load than just drawing and nocking another arrow?


There are repeating crossbows. Amazing things those.
 
2012-07-11 01:58:39 AM
It is acceptable to be cross with other motorists.

It is not acceptable to be cross bow
with other motorists.

[Themoreyouknow.jpg]
 
2012-07-11 02:02:13 AM
Arcuballistua habeo. Nisi substantia omnes mihi dabis ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.
 
2012-07-11 02:02:18 AM

ladyfortuna: doglover: RexTalionis: Crossbows are great weapons - easy to load, easy to fire, no training or upper body strength necessary, silent and it can go through armor.

Silent? Except for the godawful crack and subequent clicking of the winch.

Also aren't they a lot slower to load than just drawing and nocking another arrow?


Depends on how hard it is to use a compound bow. I've never messed with one, but it looks complicated. However, they might be really fast to cock.

But in practice, longbows have about 20 shots per minute and crossbows of that era about 10.
 
2012-07-11 02:02:58 AM

Ambivalence: the above story was someone just pointing a crossbow at a motorist. This other story was from almost 20 years ago where a pastor SHOT and KILLED a man with a crossbow in a road rage incident.


They meant the link in the thread, not the article for the thread.
 
2012-07-11 02:06:23 AM
No, but a certain large, extremely LOUD bird has made a point of planting himself in our backyard tree and screeching continuously every morning starting at 5 am. Last Saturday morning I snapped, grabbed my crossbow, and headed out for a little retribution.

Snuck around the side of the garage and found my victim about 15 feet up in a tree, squalling his lil lungs out. Took careful aim and popped that sumbeyotch right in the lower chest.

Perfect hit? Yes.
Piss him off? Oh,yeah.
Kill him? Not a chance.

Now the bastard has figured out which window is the bedroom and wakes us up every morning SCREAMING at the glass.

Protip: if you are going to use a crossbow on a annoying bird, make sure it doesn't say NERF anywhere on it.
 
2012-07-11 02:06:41 AM
Was it a LOADED crossbow? Like, with a pointed stick wedged into it? Because it seems that would make a difference as to the gravity of the situation.

/but suppose he had a banana in it?
//or a mango?
 
2012-07-11 02:08:21 AM

khonshu: Arcuballistua habeo. Nisi substantia omnes mihi dabis ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.


Sorry, I spelled "arcuballista" wrong, and I got my projectiles mixed up.
It ruins the fun of being sagacious when I'm actually an idiot.
 
2012-07-11 02:08:41 AM
Did this happen right after a screening of Hunger Games?
 
2012-07-11 02:09:38 AM

Huck And Molly Ziegler: Was it a LOADED crossbow? Like, with a pointed stick wedged into it? Because it seems that would make a difference as to the gravity of the situation.

/but suppose he had a banana in it?
//or a mango?


I have a mashmallow crossbow. It can launch stale mallows up to 15'
 
2012-07-11 02:10:23 AM
s1.mcstatic.com
/What was that wrong?
 
2012-07-11 02:11:28 AM

Shadow Blasko: ladyfortuna: doglover: RexTalionis: Crossbows are great weapons - easy to load, easy to fire, no training or upper body strength necessary, silent and it can go through armor.

Silent? Except for the godawful crack and subequent clicking of the winch.

Also aren't they a lot slower to load than just drawing and nocking another arrow?

There are repeating crossbows. Amazing things those.


www.futurama-madhouse.com.ar

Ow.
 
2012-07-11 02:14:42 AM
What an crossbow may look like:
media.nbcphiladelphia.com
http://media.nbcphiladelphia.com/images/654*368/crossbow_generic.jpg
 
2012-07-11 02:17:50 AM

Huck And Molly Ziegler: Was it a LOADED crossbow? Like, with a pointed stick wedged into it? Because it seems that would make a difference as to the gravity of the situation.

/but suppose he had a banana in it?
//or a mango?


Or a bushel of strawberries.
 
2012-07-11 02:18:29 AM
No, but this one time I started swinging a cactus...
 
2012-07-11 02:21:02 AM
never aimed a crossbow at them, but I did throw a chocolate milkshake through the open rear window of one asshole driver.
 
2012-07-11 02:23:03 AM
Crossbows and Traffic.

Wasn't that the name of the last Rush album?
 
2012-07-11 02:25:58 AM
probably just wanted to see if the guy shat gold
 
2012-07-11 02:28:53 AM

Skyd1v: Perfect hit? Yes.
Piss him off? Oh,yeah.
Kill him? Not a chance.


seems to me those sentences contradict one another
 
2012-07-11 02:29:32 AM

Skyd1v: Protip: if you are going to use a crossbow on a annoying bird, make sure it doesn't say NERF anywhere on it.


oh i get it
i'm dumb
 
2012-07-11 02:31:39 AM
no i have never done this before
 
2012-07-11 02:37:35 AM

Pathman: probably just wanted to see if the guy shat gold


A Lannister always signals his lane change.
 
2012-07-11 02:40:13 AM
Short answer... Yes. Why? Did they write an article about me? Oh...
 
2012-07-11 02:44:06 AM

Ambivalence: No, but I did see a story years ago ... involving a pastor....it was creepy.


I've seen lots of these stories.
 
2012-07-11 02:56:36 AM
Not quite.

My brother and I were going to a RenFaire in Boulder, Nevada in his jeep. It was early in the morning. We were practically the only people on the road. And we were obeying the speed limit. Then all of the sudden, this redneck in a pickup truck comes from out of nowhere, rides our rear bumper, starts honking his horn, and begins screaming curses at us like a goddamn banshee. He then passes us, steers his pickup truck so it's in front of us, and then sticks his heavily-muscled arm out of the drivers window, flexes his bicep and flips us the bird.

My brother and I just keep going at the same speed, ignoring the redneck. That only seemed to make him madder. He then starts to slow down and he won't let us pass. Finally my brother and I just decide to pull into a rest area and wait until the redneck goes away (We had forgotten our phones, so we couldn't call for help). He then does an 180, pulls into the rest area, gets out of the truck waving a hammer, and demands to know, "What is your malfunction?"

I opened the door and got out. I was wearing my RenFaire outfit. I play a character named "Hondo the Wanderer". Hondo is a 14th century pilgrim. Aside from my shoes (I can't find Medieval boots in size 15), my costume is very authentic, from the straw hat (biatch to get in 9 3/4ths) to my paternoster to my six foot long African ebony staff.

I go after him. The redneck throws his hammer at me and misses. He tries to get back into his pickup truck, but I stop that by ramming my staff through the windshield until the end hits his seat. The redneck then starts running away. I would've followed, but I'm not built for speed. I then pulled my staff out of the redneck's windshield and went over his pickup truck busting everything I could. After a few minutes of genuine catharsis, I got back into the jeep and my brother and I continued to the Boulder City RenFaire (which sucked terribly) without further trouble. .
 
2012-07-11 03:01:51 AM
I know,

screencrave.com

right?
 
2012-07-11 03:03:48 AM

Coelacanth: I go after him. The redneck throws his hammer at me and misses. He tries to get back into his pickup truck, but I stop that by ramming my staff through the windshield until the end hits his seat. The redneck then starts running away. I would've followed, but I'm not built for speed. I then pulled my staff out of the redneck's windshield and went over his pickup truck busting everything I could.


You've just admitted to vandalism and probably worse on the internet. I hope this story's old or false.
 
2012-07-11 03:04:11 AM
He should have known not to quarrel.
 
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