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(Fark)   What unspoken rules in society drive you crazy when people don't follow them?   (fark.com) divider line 1417
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8426 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Jul 2012 at 10:26 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-10 05:26:00 PM  

Raging Thespian: LlamaGirl: I like to wax my cooter in the playland at mcdonalds.

I'd call that "hamburgling".


Robble robble.
 
2012-07-10 05:26:13 PM  

Raging Thespian: LlamaGirl: I like to wax my cooter in the playland at mcdonalds.

I'd call that "hamburgling".


:sprays Cherry Limeade everywhere:
 
2012-07-10 05:26:39 PM  
If you arrived at a four way stop before me, HIT THE FARKING GAS PEDAL, IDIOT.
 
2012-07-10 05:26:58 PM  

Ambivalence: When you're driving, commit. I hate it when people, at the very last second decide they need to change lanes and force themselves into full turn lanes. If you miss your turn, take a u-turn and come back around. It's not the end of the freaking world. And it's certainly not worth pissing everyone off beucase your entitled ass thinks you deserve to butt in.


I am vaguely reminded of this.
 
2012-07-10 05:27:04 PM  

LineNoise: InfamousBLT: LineNoise: InfamousBLT: LineNoise: Grown adults should not be splitting a check in an itemized fashion. If there are 4 of you, and the total is $100, you each put in $25

Or how about, as a waiter/waitress, you ask before you start taking orders and save us the trouble.
If you don't ask, and plop down a check in front of all of us, we're going to give it back and say split it up properly. If you say you can't, then I'm going to take it up to my register, hand you my card, and tell you to only use this card to do my portion of the meal. If you say you can't then I'll buy everyone's meal and not a single one of us will ever come back, because you're all terrible terrible people.

Your waitress shouldn't have to play banker because you dine with a bunch of cheapskates.

I agree. She should pull out a number of checks corresponding to the number of people sitting at the table, write each order individually on each check, and then hand each person their receipt for the meal that they ate.

If said waitress isn't a lazy piece of shiat, that's what she'll do. If she is a lazy idiot, then she probably isn't getting tipped because you've wasted my time and/or money by not taking the 30 seconds it takes to do it properly.

Yes lets over complicated ordering a couple of club sandwiches so someone doesn't get charged an extra $2 for their share of the jaleapeno poppers they didn't touch.


Jesus christ, how is it so complicated to write it down on different checks? It's way more complicated for us. What if one guy only has a 20, one guy only has a couple of tens, and 2 of them don't carry cash at all? Now what? Now we have to spend a goddamn half hour trying to figure out what to do, when all you had to do was spend 30 seconds writing it down on 4 sheets of paper instead of one.

Where do you work? I want to be sure to avoid the whole goddamn chain if they employ mouthbreathers like you.
 
2012-07-10 05:27:11 PM  

generalDisdain: I appreciate that you aren't bothered by nudity and have fully accepted your 650 pound frame o' sexiness, but put some f*cking pants on if you are going to sit anywhere anyone else might, snail trail.


But lounging alone with underwear on is perfectly normal, right?
 
2012-07-10 05:27:13 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: I've seen this happen once while driving, so I will address it here:

Do not eat bowls of food-related items while you're driving.

I don't care how good it is. I don't care whether it's salad, soup, or ice cream. I don't care how strong your wrists are.

Do not jeopardize my life and the lives of others because you can't be bothered to eat when you're not on the road.

Thank you, and good day.



I once saw someone eating cereal. I took a picture:

sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net

I really wish I could have found out more. Did they pour the milk in the house and then carefully walk it out to the car? Did they bring a little cup of milk into the car and then pour it? It seemed like way more trouble than it was worth.
 
2012-07-10 05:27:30 PM  

Mr_Ectomy: dopeydwarf: To me this is fine so long as the mandatory blowjob is included.

FEMINISM!


FEMINISM CAN SUCK MY DI- ah, but that would be redundant.
 
2012-07-10 05:27:43 PM  

Raging Thespian: If you arrived at a four way stop before me, HIT THE FARKING GAS PEDAL, IDIOT.


NO I WILL STARE YOU DOWN AND ONLY GO WHEN YOU START TO INCH FORWARD
 
2012-07-10 05:27:50 PM  
If you're in line at the store/gas station/Taco Bell and paramedics/EMTs get in line behind you, let them go in front of you so they get a chance to eat for 5 minutes out of a 12 hour shift.
 
2012-07-10 05:27:56 PM  
It feels like the world would be a much happier place if everyone just used public transit.
 
2012-07-10 05:28:03 PM  

seumasokelly: generalDisdain: I appreciate that you aren't bothered by nudity and have fully accepted your 650 pound frame o' sexiness, but put some f*cking pants on if you are going to sit anywhere anyone else might, snail trail.

Whoa gross


Bonus: this is someone I know, and they are also spontaneously incontinent.
 
2012-07-10 05:28:32 PM  
Also, look as this asshole:
sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net
 
2012-07-10 05:28:42 PM  
When I still had a roommate who played WoW, he mentioned that one of his guild members liked to play while driving his truck.
 
2012-07-10 05:28:43 PM  

melaniethepanda: Mr_Ectomy: melaniethepanda: If you fart on an elevator, you can suck my cock.

F*ck those assholes. I don't want to smell your colon.

Suck your cock?

/loads up on beans

I warn you, it's girthy.


You've seen my jaw, I could shotgun a watermelon
 
2012-07-10 05:28:45 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: (That means "OH SHIAT" for you Bud-guzzling, Big Mouth Billy Bass-having, Larry the Cable Guy-loving troglodytes.)


Hey, I own that Billy Bass ironically. I'm trying to reprogram it to play bits from Are You Being Served.
 
2012-07-10 05:28:48 PM  

professorkowalski: Dude who can do the crossword while driving always is kinds awesome to watch.


In crossword guy's defense, that requires some real mental acrobatics, especially if it's the New York Times crossword puzzle.

Doubly so if it's that borderline-insane LA Times bullcrap.


LlamaGirl: I like to wax my cooter in the playland at mcdonalds.


There's a Grimace joke in here somewhere, I'm sure of it.
 
2012-07-10 05:28:59 PM  

LlamaGirl: Raging Thespian: If you arrived at a four way stop before me, HIT THE FARKING GAS PEDAL, IDIOT.

NO I WILL STARE YOU DOWN AND ONLY GO WHEN YOU START TO INCH FORWARD


GAH!

There are people in my neighborhood who will actually stop WHEN THEY DON'T HAVE A STOP SIGN and I do. And then THEY WILL WAIT FOR ME TO GO.
 
2012-07-10 05:28:59 PM  

Kyro: A couple weeks ago I saw an empty shopping cart rolling down the parking lot on a healthy gust of wind. I was way too far away to catch up with it, but I could clearly see it was on a direct collision course with a nice little sedan. I cringed and watched the impending disaster - only for the cart at the last possible second be chased down by some superdad who parked the cart in the corale and took his daughter into the store. ASF and I cheered and clapped for him.

Good on you, man. Good on you.


I'm pretty much going to get hit by a car backing up one day because of assholes that do that.
 
2012-07-10 05:29:25 PM  

JerseyTim: Also, look as this asshole:
[sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net image 640x359]


A KIA driver in Jersey.

Big shocker.
 
2012-07-10 05:29:41 PM  

gamergirl23: generalDisdain: I appreciate that you aren't bothered by nudity and have fully accepted your 650 pound frame o' sexiness, but put some f*cking pants on if you are going to sit anywhere anyone else might, snail trail.

But lounging alone with underwear on is perfectly normal, right?


Only if it's you and you send me pics. EIP.
 
2012-07-10 05:29:49 PM  
seumasokelly's post just reminded me of drivers and pedestrians who don't yield to fire trucks and ambulances.

I don't normally believe in the death penalty, but those should people should be executed.
 
2012-07-10 05:29:50 PM  

thejoyofpi: It feels like the world would be a much happier place if everyone just used public transit.


No, then you gotta ream with homeless and bums that pay for public transit using pennies.


fark those people.
 
2012-07-10 05:30:33 PM  
www.advicegoddess.com
 
2012-07-10 05:30:42 PM  

thejoyofpi: It feels like the world would be a much happier place if everyone just used public transit.


No, then we would have to deal with people who sit beside you, even though there are open seats, etc.
 
2012-07-10 05:31:00 PM  
After reading this thread, I want to subscribe to Kyro's newsletter.


thejoyofpi: It feels like the world would be a much happier place if everyone just used public transit.


I have a WHOLE set of pet peeves about public transit, even though I enjoy and recognize its benefits.
 
2012-07-10 05:31:15 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: professorkowalski: Dude who can do the crossword while driving always is kinds awesome to watch.

In crossword guy's defense, that requires some real mental acrobatics, especially if it's the New York Times crossword puzzle.

Doubly so if it's that borderline-insane LA Times bullcrap.


LlamaGirl: I like to wax my cooter in the playland at mcdonalds.

There's a Grimace joke in here somewhere, I'm sure of it.


Sunday. LA Times.
 
2012-07-10 05:31:17 PM  

generalDisdain: spontaneously incontinent.


-______________0

D:

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: LlamaGirl: I like to wax my cooter in the playland at mcdonalds.

There's a Grimace joke in here somewhere, I'm sure of it.


:sprays more Cherry Limeade everywhere:
 
2012-07-10 05:31:18 PM  

elev8meL8r: Hey, I own that Billy Bass ironically. I'm trying to reprogram it to play bits from Are You Being Served.


Judges...?

*ding*

I'LL ALLOW IT.


JerseyTim: I once saw someone eating cereal. I took a picture:

sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net

I really wish I could have found out more. Did they pour the milk in the house and then carefully walk it out to the car? Did they bring a little cup of milk into the car and then pour it? It seemed like way more trouble than it was worth.


Indeed.

The worksmanship seems to be a bit too much for what little payoff there is.

COST/BENEFIT ANALYSIS, PEOPLE.
 
2012-07-10 05:31:33 PM  

LlamaGirl: I like to wax my cooter in the playland at mcdonalds.


Come to think of it, the Fry Guys always reminded me of a bunch of new wave muffs.
 
2012-07-10 05:31:35 PM  
People who walk side by side in narrow areas like hallways and don't drop to single file when someone else needs to pass/go through. It's especially annoying when they can see you coming but even if you're behind them they should let you pass.

You're walking slow as fark and I'm stuck behind you and I'm trying to be noisy so you will hear me and know I'm behind you and let me pass and I know at least one of you can hear me and you're just being assholes and fark this I'm just going to kick the back of your knee

I'm short but I have a really long stride and 99% of people walk too slow for me. I hate getting stuck behind MFers who walk slower than I am even capable of walking without taking long pauses between steps.

MY HEART IS BLACK WITH ANGER.
 
2012-07-10 05:31:41 PM  

professorkowalski: No, then you gotta ream with homeless and bums that pay for public transit using pennies.


Trust me, that is a lot less frustrating than traffic. Yeah public transit has its own annoyances, and occasionally you get stuck, but nothing like the daily stress of being stuck in gridlock.
 
2012-07-10 05:31:42 PM  
Since apparently, wanting to get a different check makes me an entitled asshole, please explain to me how 4 people can pay 1 check with 4 different cards, when we all got completely different things. One person ordered a milkshake (3 bucks), one guy ordered a salad and a soda (7 bucks), one guy got a steak and a water (25 bucks), and one guy ordered an appetizer and a soup to take home to his wife because she's not feeling well (15 bucks).

So what you're saying is that they should all split this evenly, on their cards? So they should all take their plastic, chop it in to 4 pieces, and hand you 1/4th of each?

You. Are. A. Lazy. Piece. Of. shiat. DIAF. I've worked registers before in foodservice, it takes 30 seconds to ring someone out. I'm not in any huge hurry or anything, take your time.

I seriously had no idea that waitstaff was so lazy. I've known some waiters and they all seemed like hard workers to me, but jesus. Apparently taking an additional minute out of your working hours is not worth you taking an additional 5 or 10 of my non working hours. I no longer feel bad withholding tips from some stupid waiter if they don't split the check.
 
2012-07-10 05:32:23 PM  

InfamousBLT: LineNoise: InfamousBLT: LineNoise: InfamousBLT: LineNoise: Grown adults should not be splitting a check in an itemized fashion. If there are 4 of you, and the total is $100, you each put in $25

Or how about, as a waiter/waitress, you ask before you start taking orders and save us the trouble.
If you don't ask, and plop down a check in front of all of us, we're going to give it back and say split it up properly. If you say you can't, then I'm going to take it up to my register, hand you my card, and tell you to only use this card to do my portion of the meal. If you say you can't then I'll buy everyone's meal and not a single one of us will ever come back, because you're all terrible terrible people.

Your waitress shouldn't have to play banker because you dine with a bunch of cheapskates.

I agree. She should pull out a number of checks corresponding to the number of people sitting at the table, write each order individually on each check, and then hand each person their receipt for the meal that they ate.

If said waitress isn't a lazy piece of shiat, that's what she'll do. If she is a lazy idiot, then she probably isn't getting tipped because you've wasted my time and/or money by not taking the 30 seconds it takes to do it properly.

Yes lets over complicated ordering a couple of club sandwiches so someone doesn't get charged an extra $2 for their share of the jaleapeno poppers they didn't touch.

Jesus christ, how is it so complicated to write it down on different checks? It's way more complicated for us. What if one guy only has a 20, one guy only has a couple of tens, and 2 of them don't carry cash at all? Now what? Now we have to spend a goddamn half hour trying to figure out what to do, when all you had to do was spend 30 seconds writing it down on 4 sheets of paper instead of one.

Where do you work? I want to be sure to avoid the whole goddamn chain if they employ mouthbreathers like you.


Don't be mean. You can only use one ticket per table, thems rules from management and the kitchen. Prepare before you go out! Have small bills etc.
 
2012-07-10 05:33:01 PM  

Tziva: People who walk side by side in narrow areas like hallways and don't drop to single file when someone else needs to pass/go through. It's especially annoying when they can see you coming but even if you're behind them they should let you pass.

You're walking slow as fark and I'm stuck behind you and I'm trying to be noisy so you will hear me and know I'm behind you and let me pass and I know at least one of you can hear me and you're just being assholes and fark this I'm just going to kick the back of your knee

I'm short but I have a really long stride and 99% of people walk too slow for me. I hate getting stuck behind MFers who walk slower than I am even capable of walking without taking long pauses between steps.

MY HEART IS BLACK WITH ANGER.


If only you had a friend who could help clear a path in situations like this. A large, short-armed friend...
 
2012-07-10 05:33:31 PM  
Incoming traffic does not stop.
 
2012-07-10 05:33:57 PM  

Fondle My Sweaters: I have a WHOLE set of pet peeves about public transit, even though I enjoy and recognize its benefits.


I get stressed out even riding in a cab. New York traffic is SO MUCH WORSE than the subways. I'll deal with smelly homeless men a lot better than I'll deal with a f*cking street closure because f*cking Verizon is installing another f*cking line and those f*cks couldn't put up proper signage and now we're stuck in this f*cking lane for the next 40 minutes f*ck f*ck f*ck I'm just going to get out here and walk the next two miles to the office.
 
2012-07-10 05:33:59 PM  

Fondle My Sweaters: thejoyofpi: It feels like the world would be a much happier place if everyone just used public transit.

I have a WHOLE set of pet peeves about public transit, even though I enjoy and recognize its benefits.


For instance:

Let me off the f*cking train before you shove your way on.

Move back when other people get onto the train so that there's room for everybody and people aren't trying to cram into the entryway.

Offer your seat to people who clearly need it, like pregnant women, old people, disabled people, or somebody trying to carry a cake or some shiat.

If you're sitting in an outside seat and the person sitting next to you in the inside seat gets up, scoot over into their seat so people don't have to try to squeeze around your lazy ass to sit down.

Get off your f*cking phone. Don't play music on your phone like it's a f*cking boom box.

Don't eat your Popeyes on a crowded train car where everybody has to smell it.

I could go on all day long.
 
2012-07-10 05:34:01 PM  

professorkowalski: Sunday. LA Times.


A small spiral into hell, that is.


IBreakdance2NIN: :sprays more Cherry Limeade everywhere:


This is a dark, dark day for IBreakdance2NIN's Cherry Limeade.

If Reagan were still alive and lucid, he'd talk about how that Cherry Limeade slipped the surly bonds of Earth and touched the hand of God.
 
2012-07-10 05:34:07 PM  
oh wait that one is written and posted everywhere you stupid f*cks
 
2012-07-10 05:34:41 PM  

Tziva: MY HEART IS BLACK WITH ANGER.


If you have an Android phone, download Mobile Metronome.
Turn it on and hold the phone in your hand with the volume low.
As you come up upon the slowpokes, invisibly increase the volume.
When someone asks, say "oh, that's the pace setting for my pedometer. I try to keep above five steps an hour. Excuse me."
 
2012-07-10 05:35:19 PM  

Mrs.Sharpier: InfamousBLT: LineNoise: InfamousBLT: LineNoise: InfamousBLT: LineNoise: Grown adults should not be splitting a check in an itemized fashion. If there are 4 of you, and the total is $100, you each put in $25

Or how about, as a waiter/waitress, you ask before you start taking orders and save us the trouble.
If you don't ask, and plop down a check in front of all of us, we're going to give it back and say split it up properly. If you say you can't, then I'm going to take it up to my register, hand you my card, and tell you to only use this card to do my portion of the meal. If you say you can't then I'll buy everyone's meal and not a single one of us will ever come back, because you're all terrible terrible people.

Your waitress shouldn't have to play banker because you dine with a bunch of cheapskates.

I agree. She should pull out a number of checks corresponding to the number of people sitting at the table, write each order individually on each check, and then hand each person their receipt for the meal that they ate.

If said waitress isn't a lazy piece of shiat, that's what she'll do. If she is a lazy idiot, then she probably isn't getting tipped because you've wasted my time and/or money by not taking the 30 seconds it takes to do it properly.

Yes lets over complicated ordering a couple of club sandwiches so someone doesn't get charged an extra $2 for their share of the jaleapeno poppers they didn't touch.

Jesus christ, how is it so complicated to write it down on different checks? It's way more complicated for us. What if one guy only has a 20, one guy only has a couple of tens, and 2 of them don't carry cash at all? Now what? Now we have to spend a goddamn half hour trying to figure out what to do, when all you had to do was spend 30 seconds writing it down on 4 sheets of paper instead of one.

Where do you work? I want to be sure to avoid the whole goddamn chain if they employ mouthbreathers like you.

Don't be mean. You can only use one ticket per table, ...


Carry cash solely because someone is too lazy to do their job correctly? I never carry cash, and I especially don't carry small bills (honestly our smallest bill should be 5 like the rest of the civilized world anyways). If that's the rules from management or the kitchen, tell me that so I don't ever come back again (because I won't, and that's not the waitstaff's fault).
 
2012-07-10 05:35:42 PM  
I have no chance of catching completely up with this thread and it's about time to go home, but I just want to say I feel a much greater sense of camaraderie with Kyro due to a great amount of shared road/parking rage issues. *knucks*
 
2012-07-10 05:35:46 PM  

Tziva: People who walk side by side in narrow areas like hallways and don't drop to single file when someone else needs to pass/go through.


I tend to experience that when I'm out late at night in an area populated by drunk college students. They think walking four abreast is some kind of like awesome bonding experience or whatever, and they don't yield for others. I have no compunctions about barging through people like that.
 
2012-07-10 05:35:55 PM  

middleoftheday: Kyro: I get a little annoyed at people that break off one banana and leave it behind.

Who's going to buy that lone banana?

I initially just scrolled past this and wasn't going to comment, but come on. Who does this? What life-situation is it that one banana is your tipping point?


I feel bad for that poor banana. It probably has self esteem issues. Can you imagine? All your siblings get a home and you get extracted and discarded and left to rot?

Now I'm sad.

Sad for an inanimate banana.

Something is farking wrong with me.
 
2012-07-10 05:35:59 PM  

InfamousBLT:

Jesus christ, how is it so complicated to write it down on different checks? It's way more complicated for us. What if one guy only has a 20, one guy only has a couple of tens, and 2 of them don't carry cash at all? Now what? Now we have to spend a goddamn half hour trying to figure out what to do, when all you had to do was spend 30 seconds writing it down on 4 sheets of paper instead of one.

Where do you work? I want to be sure to avoid the whole goddamn chain if they employ mouthbreathers like you.


There is nothing wrong with splitting a bill on several cards, provided you are splitting the same amount. Likewise there is nothing wrong with asking for some change back in specific denominations so you can square up amongst yourselves correctly.

But personally I only dine with people i like, so I'm not really worried about one of my best friends getting an extra round of drinks out of me, or ordering an entree that cost 4 bucks more than mine.

I'm going out with friends tonight. Here is what will inevitably happen:

Me and two other guys will drink a ton more than the guy who is driving, and the guy who just had a kid so is getting up at all hours. So when the bill comes, we will just look at the booze portion and split that ourselves. Oh no, we bought a few drinks for some good friends.

Then the food portion we will split up equally. A couple of guys will have cash, a couple of guys will have cards. Someone will owe someone else a dinner from another night.

And then someone will just say, "give me the cash, put the rest on my card so i can get the points, and the guys without cash get me next time"

and we all go home happy. Plus the dude who put it all on his card is a couple hundred bucks closer to a free flight or something.
 
2012-07-10 05:36:01 PM  

Mrs.Sharpier: Don't be mean. You can only use one ticket per table, thems rules from management and the kitchen. Prepare before you go out! Have small bills etc.


We have the "party continued" and "end of party" options for bills at my work. Also, split bills usually tip better.
 
2012-07-10 05:36:11 PM  
It's hard for me to believe that InfamousBLT eats at the same places that I eat.
 
2012-07-10 05:36:18 PM  
Also, I apologize that I'm being a douche.
 
2012-07-10 05:36:21 PM  

InfamousBLT: Since apparently, wanting to get a different check makes me an entitled asshole, please explain to me how 4 people can pay 1 check with 4 different cards, when we all got completely different things. One person ordered a milkshake (3 bucks), one guy ordered a salad and a soda (7 bucks), one guy got a steak and a water (25 bucks), and one guy ordered an appetizer and a soup to take home to his wife because she's not feeling well (15 bucks).

So what you're saying is that they should all split this evenly, on their cards? So they should all take their plastic, chop it in to 4 pieces, and hand you 1/4th of each?

You. Are. A. Lazy. Piece. Of. shiat. DIAF. I've worked registers before in foodservice, it takes 30 seconds to ring someone out. I'm not in any huge hurry or anything, take your time.

I seriously had no idea that waitstaff was so lazy. I've known some waiters and they all seemed like hard workers to me, but jesus. Apparently taking an additional minute out of your working hours is not worth you taking an additional 5 or 10 of my non working hours. I no longer feel bad withholding tips from some stupid waiter if they don't split the check.


IF. YOU. WANT. THE. CHECK. SPLIT. ASK. AT. THE. BEGINNING.

She's trying to reduce the amount of time spent not providing service. The assumption at every sit-down restaurant ever is one check per table. Ask for separate checks at the bieginning, while ordering and she won't have to do everything twice. Literally every restaurant that employs waitstaff has the initial assumption of one check per table unless you ask for separate checks. It's not her fault you waited til the end and it had to be redone.
 
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