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(4Utah.com)   Utah woman steals $4,000 ring by swallowing it, pawning it after is goes through "regular digestive process." Value of ring is no longer $4,000, now that is has that "regular digestive" scent to it   (abc4.com) divider line 33
    More: Fail, Utah  
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7271 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Jul 2012 at 4:28 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-10 04:30:40 PM
Burning ring of fire?
 
2012-07-10 04:31:17 PM
Thanks, but...

almostdumb.com
 
2012-07-10 04:34:23 PM
Sell it in New Jersey. Noone will notice.
 
2012-07-10 04:34:45 PM

chappy62: Burning ring of fire?


ns, I hope she has 'roids.
 
2012-07-10 04:34:51 PM
Thats a lot of work and hassle for a ring
 
2012-07-10 04:34:52 PM
I know a guy who is an expert in regular digestive processes.

I'll give you $50 for it, I have to make a profit.
 
2012-07-10 04:35:00 PM
The "value" of the ring isn't lessened by the digestive process, in fact it probably polished the ring rather well. It loses it's "value" because it's not worth much of anything without a global monopoly, artificial scarcity, and hard-won subliminal expectations of what is proper for engagements and other special occasions.

/Yeah, my wife wears a lab created diamond, what of it?
 
2012-07-10 04:35:05 PM
This has been flagged!!! It was in the bathroom!!!

www.hwdyk.com
 
2012-07-10 04:35:41 PM
Her anus is remarkable.
 
2012-07-10 04:36:03 PM
Article makes it sound like she only got caught because she fessed up under interrogation.

Way to go, Ms. Hardened Criminal.
 
2012-07-10 04:36:39 PM
There are three kinds of turds. Mus-turd, Cus-turd and You.

www.seriouseats.com

FOR ME TO POUPON!
 
2012-07-10 04:36:50 PM
seeing that she is a "sandy" lady i would imagine her digestive tract was rather abrasive on the ring.
 
2012-07-10 04:40:07 PM
i192.photobucket.com

Approves...
 
2012-07-10 04:41:30 PM
img.poptower.com

You know, the problem in this economy is that people aren't shelling out the big dollars for rings passed through the bowels of just anybody. Now, if the ring had passed through the digestive system of Elvis or perhaps a famous draft animal like Mr. Ed, then you'd have something. Of course, you'd have to have a certificate or some other documents stating that the fecal matter was in fact from Mr. Ed and not some other horse shiat. Still, it is a nice ring, I just have to clean it, and it takes up space in my display case, and I have to wait a year for someone to come in who wants a ring that has been in a woman's large intestine... at least one that entered from the other end of the alimentary canal. I'd like to give ya $300 for it?
 
2012-07-10 04:43:45 PM
That's so funny. When I need to restore my regular digestive process, I prefer bran.
 
2012-07-10 04:46:02 PM
http://m.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/1982/02/have-you-ever-tried- to-sell-a-diamond/4575/

It was priced at 4k, not worth 4k. Big, big difference.
 
2012-07-10 04:47:17 PM

JonZoidberg: The "value" of the ring isn't lessened by the digestive process, in fact it probably polished the ring rather well. It loses it's "value" because it's not worth much of anything without a global monopoly, artificial scarcity, and hard-won subliminal expectations of what is proper for engagements and other special occasions.

/Yeah, my wife wears a lab created diamond, what of it?


you obviously don't love her. Everyone knows you're supposed to spend 2 months salary on one of those thingies.
 
2012-07-10 04:47:30 PM

Dahnkster: There are three kinds of turds. Mus-turd, Cus-turd and You.

[www.seriouseats.com image 500x375]

FOR ME TO POUPON!


It always cracks me up that the dog is smiling in that pic..."Hey, maybe I'll get a bite of that!!!"
 
2012-07-10 04:53:58 PM
Something similar happened to me, but my diamond ring was eaten by a wuzzat lizard so I was out of luck. I had to sell my gagglezoomer in order to pay rent.
 
2012-07-10 04:54:57 PM

JonZoidberg: The "value" of the ring isn't lessened by the digestive process, in fact it probably polished the ring rather well. It loses it's "value" because it's not worth much of anything without a global monopoly, artificial scarcity, and hard-won subliminal expectations of what is proper for engagements and other special occasions.

/Yeah, my wife wears a lab created diamond, what of it?


what the hell do you feed a Labrador retriever to make it poop diamonds? Hi Carbon Dog Food?
 
2012-07-10 04:58:17 PM

Too Pretty For Prison: JonZoidberg: The "value" of the ring isn't lessened by the digestive process, in fact it probably polished the ring rather well. It loses it's "value" because it's not worth much of anything without a global monopoly, artificial scarcity, and hard-won subliminal expectations of what is proper for engagements and other special occasions.

/Yeah, my wife wears a lab created diamond, what of it?

you obviously don't love her. Everyone knows you're supposed to spend 2 months salary on one of those thingies.


If my husband shows up with jewelry, especially diamonds, it just means he's guilty of something. And if I found 2 months of income missing from the checking account, he's not only guilty, he's fixing to be dead!
 
2012-07-10 05:01:33 PM

JonZoidberg: The "value" of the ring isn't lessened by the digestive process, in fact it probably polished the ring rather well. It loses it's "value" because it's not worth much of anything without a global monopoly, artificial scarcity, and hard-won subliminal expectations of what is proper for engagements and other special occasions.


Argh, I've said it before but I guess I have to say it again:

Material cost =/= actual cost

When you buy a snack out of a vending machine and you think it's overpriced, it's because you've spent more money to pay the guy stocking the machines than the food. When you buy jewelry, the bulk of the money pays to keep the store open & staffed in any month that isn't December or February.

You're paying for service; of course you can't recoup that money. Selling jewelry you bought at a store is like ordering a cocktail, running it through a centrifuge and trying to resell the raw ingredients. If you can't make your money back you didn't get ripped off; it's just that you have no farking idea what you actually paid for.
 
2012-07-10 05:07:38 PM
Who the hell buys a 4k ring in farking macys?
 
2012-07-10 05:15:47 PM

dragonchild: JonZoidberg: The "value" of the ring isn't lessened by the digestive process, in fact it probably polished the ring rather well. It loses it's "value" because it's not worth much of anything without a global monopoly, artificial scarcity, and hard-won subliminal expectations of what is proper for engagements and other special occasions.

Argh, I've said it before but I guess I have to say it again:

Material cost =/= actual cost


Value and cost are two very different things.
 
2012-07-10 05:24:49 PM

Biological Ali: dragonchild: JonZoidberg: The "value" of the ring isn't lessened by the digestive process, in fact it probably polished the ring rather well. It loses it's "value" because it's not worth much of anything without a global monopoly, artificial scarcity, and hard-won subliminal expectations of what is proper for engagements and other special occasions.

Argh, I've said it before but I guess I have to say it again:

Material cost =/= actual cost

Value and cost are two very different things.


Nobody's arguing cost. In fact, I don't really want to know how much jewelry costs. The value is a construct of the industry and how much the consumer will put up with, and since it's so very artificial I put it in quotes.
 
2012-07-10 05:31:11 PM

Too Pretty For Prison: JonZoidberg: The "value" of the ring isn't lessened by the digestive process, in fact it probably polished the ring rather well. It loses it's "value" because it's not worth much of anything without a global monopoly, artificial scarcity, and hard-won subliminal expectations of what is proper for engagements and other special occasions.

/Yeah, my wife wears a lab created diamond, what of it?

you obviously don't love her. Everyone knows you're supposed to spend 2 months salary on one of those thingies.


My wedding ring actually cost more than hers, because it took a lot of gold. Our wedding was fairly cheap too, about 4k for ~200 people. And yet, we have a nice house, 2 cars, and no card debt. We have the mortgage, one car note, and student loans, and we have a year's salary in the bank (less than before our kid came along). I'd say I love her to put money where it belongs rather than silly fancy. I know you're joking, also.
 
2012-07-10 05:36:24 PM

JonZoidberg: The "value" of the ring isn't lessened by the digestive process, in fact it probably polished the ring rather well. It loses it's "value" because it's not worth much of anything without a global monopoly, artificial scarcity, and hard-won subliminal expectations of what is proper for engagements and other special occasions.

/Yeah, my wife wears a lab created diamond, what of it?


What a wonderful impersonation of a stupid poor person!
 
2012-07-10 06:09:06 PM

dragonchild: JonZoidberg: The "value" of the ring isn't lessened by the digestive process, in fact it probably polished the ring rather well. It loses it's "value" because it's not worth much of anything without a global monopoly, artificial scarcity, and hard-won subliminal expectations of what is proper for engagements and other special occasions.

Argh, I've said it before but I guess I have to say it again:

Material cost =/= actual cost

When you buy a snack out of a vending machine and you think it's overpriced, it's because you've spent more money to pay the guy stocking the machines than the food. When you buy jewelry, the bulk of the money pays to keep the store open & staffed in any month that isn't December or February.

You're paying for service; of course you can't recoup that money. Selling jewelry you bought at a store is like ordering a cocktail, running it through a centrifuge and trying to resell the raw ingredients. If you can't make your money back you didn't get ripped off; it's just that you have no farking idea what you actually paid for.


You don't really think that the hyperinflated cost of jewelry at typical jewelry chains is due simply to the costs of running the industry, do you? There are plenty of stores that sell far less expensive goods in the same months. What makes the jewelry industry so special that it deserves such rampant artificial markup?
 
2012-07-10 08:00:22 PM

blahpers: You don't really think that the hyperinflated cost of jewelry at typical jewelry chains is due simply to the costs of running the industry, do you? There are plenty of stores that sell far less expensive goods in the same months. What makes the jewelry industry so special that it deserves such rampant artificial markup?


Two things. First, the people getting their jewelry at Kmart aren't paying any attention to quality. The diamonds, for example, are typically I1 grade (clarity). "Diamond" isn't valuable by itself; it's a quality issue. I1-I3 diamonds are basically overpriced rocks. Not that VS-grade diamonds are all that rare either, but a lot more work goes into selecting the rocks and cutting around the flaws (which, mind you, is pretty tough to do in 3D). It's the difference between a chunk of pig iron and a QC-inspected car chassis. Paying even $250 for a 1ct I3 diamond is a huge rip-off; $1000 for a 1ct VVS1 diamond is a bargain. That's not even getting into color or cut, but if they're ripping you off on one thing, they're probably ripping you off on everything.

Second, like I said, jewelry stores are feast-or-famine. They're staffed so that every attention whore and confused sucker gets personal attention through the sales process. The service is on the level of four-star restaurants but there's no tipping and you're not obligated to pay if you don't buy. Considering almost all jewelry purchases are made around Christmas or Valentine's Day, they basically run deeply in the red from March through November.

The markups are absurd compared to the material cost, sure, but bear in mind the jewelry business is very, VERY competitive. You can't throw a rock in a mall without hitting one. If you're talking about the gemstone industry, yeah, that's as filthy as it gets. But jewelry stores are best described as wasteful, and only because jewelry shoppers expect the red carpet treatment. News flash: Service ain't free.
 
2012-07-10 08:11:13 PM
My ex gave me a pair of emerald earrings back before he was ex.
Lab-created, but they're still 'real' emeralds...and they're very pretty with a rich deep-green clarity that's hard to find with 'natural' stones.

I like 'em.
 
2012-07-10 10:34:05 PM

LineNoise: Who the hell buys a 4k ring in farking macys?


Came to say this. And also, who the fark buys "fine jewelry" at a goddamn Macy's?

I don't care how much you spend on jewelry. If it isn't good quality and the stones aren't clear, you got robbed.
 
2012-07-11 11:26:20 AM

dragonchild: blahpers: You don't really think that the hyperinflated cost of jewelry at typical jewelry chains is due simply to the costs of running the industry, do you? There are plenty of stores that sell far less expensive goods in the same months. What makes the jewelry industry so special that it deserves such rampant artificial markup?

Two things. First, the people getting their jewelry at Kmart aren't paying any attention to quality. The diamonds, for example, are typically I1 grade (clarity). "Diamond" isn't valuable by itself; it's a quality issue. I1-I3 diamonds are basically overpriced rocks. Not that VS-grade diamonds are all that rare either, but a lot more work goes into selecting the rocks and cutting around the flaws (which, mind you, is pretty tough to do in 3D). It's the difference between a chunk of pig iron and a QC-inspected car chassis. Paying even $250 for a 1ct I3 diamond is a huge rip-off; $1000 for a 1ct VVS1 diamond is a bargain. That's not even getting into color or cut, but if they're ripping you off on one thing, they're probably ripping you off on everything.

Second, like I said, jewelry stores are feast-or-famine. They're staffed so that every attention whore and confused sucker gets personal attention through the sales process. The service is on the level of four-star restaurants but there's no tipping and you're not obligated to pay if you don't buy. Considering almost all jewelry purchases are made around Christmas or Valentine's Day, they basically run deeply in the red from March through November.

The markups are absurd compared to the material cost, sure, but bear in mind the jewelry business is very, VERY competitive. You can't throw a rock in a mall without hitting one. If you're talking about the gemstone industry, yeah, that's as filthy as it gets. But jewelry stores are best described as wasteful, and only because jewelry shoppers expect the red carpet treatment. News flash: Service ain't free.


Must be a sybculture thing. I don't want any fancy treatment at a jewelry store; I just want my ring fixed/stone set/something for the significant other/etc. The trappings annoy me.

Regarding quality, I have a very simple fitness function: How nice is it to look at? Again, I suspect I'm just not part of the industry's target subculture--though I'd argue that this subculture is itself as manufactured as the rest of the industry. (See also: Hallmark)
 
2012-07-12 02:45:49 AM
Urinal Cake Mix
LineNoise: Who the hell buys a 4k ring in farking macys?

Came to say this. And also, who the fark buys "fine jewelry" at a goddamn Macy's?

I don't care how much you spend on jewelry. If it isn't good quality and the stones aren't clear, you got robbed.


Depends on what you're looking for.
Bought a friend a ring from JC Penney's, of all places...silver, lab-created ruby, onyx. Paid $160 for it...
Bought that particular ring from that particular store because it was exactly RIGHT for the recipient.

He likes it...and what's more, he wears it.
 
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