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(AZCentral)   Cape Cod first-time kayaker, who 'had overturned several times during the day', tells of his close encounter with the shark "I turned into a professional kayaker all of a sudden"   (azcentral.com) divider line 70
    More: Followup, Cape Cod, little moments, food groups, Boston Globe  
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6680 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Jul 2012 at 1:59 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-10 12:33:22 PM  
That water is almost glass. How the hell much of a spaz must you be to be overturning several times in that?

/kayaks the Cape often
//never met a shark
///stays away from seals
////because, sharks. And seals
 
2012-07-10 01:34:43 PM  
Amazing. Did the shark decide to sponsor him, thinking maybe with some better equipment his kayaking talent would really show through?
 
2012-07-10 02:02:23 PM  
I wonder how hard it is to get a kayak on on plane?
 
2012-07-10 02:03:24 PM  
Do these people not watch local news?

Or heed the giant BEACH CLOSED DUE TO GIANT F-ING SHARKS signs?
 
2012-07-10 02:04:07 PM  
Aw c'mon that thing is a barge. It takes a lot of effort to overturn it!
 
2012-07-10 02:04:28 PM  
Anything is possible with the proper motivation!
 
2012-07-10 02:05:47 PM  
5.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com
Never ignore the soundtrack.
 
2012-07-10 02:10:41 PM  
Officials advise staying at least 300 yards away from seals, a major food group for sharks.

I would have thought seals would fall under the "meat" food group. Do they replace "grains" on the shark food pyramid?
 
2012-07-10 02:11:58 PM  
yeah, with his diarrhea-propelled kayak he probably hydroplaned.
 
2012-07-10 02:14:24 PM  
The seals have been vacationing in the Cape for years and the sharks just learn this now? Stupid sharks.
 
2012-07-10 02:14:34 PM  
www.wearysloth.com
"I raised that seal as if it were my own son!"
 
2012-07-10 02:16:49 PM  
The guy on the paddleboard should get a different colored wetsuit.
 
2012-07-10 02:17:44 PM  
As someone who's been in the water with a great white (surfing), I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

/actual csb
 
2012-07-10 02:17:47 PM  
Eh people and sharks have been swimming together in Hawaii for years with hardly any attacks. People drown way more than are attacked.

/THEN the shark bites them
//yeah that's the ticket...
 
2012-07-10 02:18:21 PM  
Good thing for him that he hadn't eaten any Snickers for energy.
 
2012-07-10 02:18:37 PM  

jhill99999: yeah, with his diarrhea-propelled kayak he probably hydroplaned.


I thought this, too. If there's anything that repels sharks, it's the taste of waste.
 
2012-07-10 02:20:55 PM  
So tired of this story, this fat ass was not in any danger. People fish for sharks everyday out of kayaks in Texas, another weak ass person from the northeast.
 
2012-07-10 02:22:44 PM  

que.guero: As someone who's been in the water with a great white (surfing), I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

/actual csb


A surfing great white shark? That IS a cool story, bro!
 
2012-07-10 02:23:33 PM  

que.guero: As someone who's been in the water with a great white (surfing), I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

/actual csb


Has anyone asked you yet why you were in the water when a shark was surfing?
 
2012-07-10 02:24:39 PM  

MAYORBOB: Good thing for him that he hadn't eaten any Snickers for energy.


HAHA I've got the picture:
theinspirationroom.com
 
2012-07-10 02:24:49 PM  
Now that you're a pro, with a few moments of fame, let's see if we can't extend that a bit. Here's an idea, a reality show. A challenge. We'll chum the bay, paint the underside of your kayak to resemble a wounded retarded seal, and then plop you in it, 3000 yards from shore. Paddle on, dude!
 
2012-07-10 02:26:45 PM  

hammettman: Now that you're a pro, with a few moments of fame, let's see if we can't extend that a bit. Here's an idea, a reality show. A challenge. We'll chum the bay, paint the underside of your kayak to resemble a wounded retarded seal, and then plop you in it, 3000 yards from shore. Paddle on, dude!



Paddling for Dollars.....coming this fall, on FOX!
 
2012-07-10 02:30:24 PM  

texmeth: So tired of this story, this fat ass was not in any danger. People fish for sharks everyday out of kayaks in Texas, another weak ass person from the northeast.


Can't be too many awesome kayakers in Texas, it's much fatter (31% obesity) than Massachusetts (23%).
 
2012-07-10 02:33:02 PM  
www.justinmcclure.tv
 
2012-07-10 02:35:17 PM  

Canyoudigit: que.guero: As someone who's been in the water with a great white (surfing), I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

/actual csb

Has anyone asked you yet why you were in the water when a shark was surfing?


Here they are:

library.thinkquest.org
 
TWX
2012-07-10 02:35:58 PM  

theorellior: texmeth: So tired of this story, this fat ass was not in any danger. People fish for sharks everyday out of kayaks in Texas, another weak ass person from the northeast.

Can't be too many awesome kayakers in Texas, it's much fatter (31% obesity) than Massachusetts (23%).


Can a canoe with a cover glued on count?
 
2012-07-10 02:36:12 PM  
Candygram
 
2012-07-10 02:36:17 PM  
rookery.s3.amazonaws.com
 
2012-07-10 02:40:56 PM  
humormedication.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-07-10 02:42:04 PM  
Thats what you get for seal launching off of the pier.
 
2012-07-10 02:43:00 PM  
As somebody who tried kayaking & canoeing for the first time last week, I'm getting a kick of out these replies.

My father - who was an avid canoer and kayaker back in his day - that included white water - went out and bought the lightest & fastest canoe he could find. Me, being in my 30's and somewhat of a fatass who has always wanted to try canoeing or kayaking decided to join him to try it out. I'd never been in either and I could not get in his canoe to save my life. I got in it 3 times, and dumped it 3 times within seconds. As far as i'm concerned, that is a freaking death trap that was trying to kill me. The 3rd time, I finally got to sit down and steadied myself, but found myself sitting too far back with the bar from the seat being rather uncomfortable on the ass. I moved up 3 inches to get the bar out of my ass and went over in a matter of seconds. I don't know how that old man managed to get in that unstable bastard. I'd tip it if i flared my nose wrong.

However, I'm a bit taller than him, and heavier, and I carry all my weight high, which means high center of gravety apparently which didn't go well with a fast canoe.

Ended up spending the rest of the day in his inflatable kayak which while as stable as could be, was rather slow. Took an enormous amount of effort to keep up with him in his canoe.

/I'll be staying off of cape cod thank you very much
//Still want to give it another go - just need a more stable canoe or kayak that is still light enough to transport and handle on my own.
 
2012-07-10 02:46:35 PM  

JMel: As somebody who tried kayaking & canoeing for the first time last week, I'm getting a kick of out these replies.

My father - who was an avid canoer and kayaker back in his day - that included white water - went out and bought the lightest & fastest canoe he could find. Me, being in my 30's and somewhat of a fatass who has always wanted to try canoeing or kayaking decided to join him to try it out. I'd never been in either and I could not get in his canoe to save my life. I got in it 3 times, and dumped it 3 times within seconds. As far as i'm concerned, that is a freaking death trap that was trying to kill me. The 3rd time, I finally got to sit down and steadied myself, but found myself sitting too far back with the bar from the seat being rather uncomfortable on the ass. I moved up 3 inches to get the bar out of my ass and went over in a matter of seconds. I don't know how that old man managed to get in that unstable bastard. I'd tip it if i flared my nose wrong.

However, I'm a bit taller than him, and heavier, and I carry all my weight high, which means high center of gravety apparently which didn't go well with a fast canoe.

Ended up spending the rest of the day in his inflatable kayak which while as stable as could be, was rather slow. Took an enormous amount of effort to keep up with him in his canoe.

/I'll be staying off of cape cod thank you very much
//Still want to give it another go - just need a more stable canoe or kayak that is still light enough to transport and handle on my own.


1) Take empty milk jug
2) Fill with sand
3) Put in bottom of kayak - push into nose
4) Repeat if necessary - push into rear (the kayak, not yours)

This should give you much more stability.
 
2012-07-10 02:47:02 PM  

theorellior: texmeth: So tired of this story, this fat ass was not in any danger. People fish for sharks everyday out of kayaks in Texas, another weak ass person from the northeast.

Can't be too many awesome kayakers in Texas, it's much fatter (31% obesity) than Massachusetts (23%).



Everything's bigger in Texas... Except for the intellects and literacy rates, of course.
 
2012-07-10 02:49:54 PM  

theorellior: texmeth: So tired of this story, this fat ass was not in any danger. People fish for sharks everyday out of kayaks in Texas, another weak ass person from the northeast.

Can't be too many awesome kayakers in Texas, it's much fatter (31% obesity) than Massachusetts (23%).


Where are your stats for weak ass people?
 
2012-07-10 02:49:59 PM  

theorellior: texmeth: So tired of this story, this fat ass was not in any danger. People fish for sharks everyday out of kayaks in Texas, another weak ass person from the northeast.

Can't be too many awesome kayakers in Texas, it's much fatter (31% obesity) than Massachusetts (23%).


Austin is one of the fittest cities in the country. On a nice weekend downtown, I can usually count over a hundred kayaks in the river. Not to mention stand up paddle boarders.
I prefer a less crowded day.

i865.photobucket.com
 
2012-07-10 02:54:51 PM  

Maud Dib: Austin is one of the fittest cities in the country.


Not many sharks in Austin, though.
 
2012-07-10 02:55:55 PM  

Maud Dib: theorellior: texmeth: So tired of this story, this fat ass was not in any danger. People fish for sharks everyday out of kayaks in Texas, another weak ass person from the northeast.

Can't be too many awesome kayakers in Texas, it's much fatter (31% obesity) than Massachusetts (23%).

Austin is one of the fittest cities in the country. On a nice weekend downtown, I can usually count over a hundred kayaks in the river. Not to mention stand up paddle boarders.
I prefer a less crowded day.

[i865.photobucket.com image 640x480]


Watch out for the gator!

/sitting on my ass, in Austin, wrecking the trend.
 
2012-07-10 02:56:17 PM  

texmeth: Where are your stats for weak ass people?


How many obese kayakers do you know?
 
2012-07-10 02:56:55 PM  

Maud Dib: theorellior: texmeth: So tired of this story, this fat ass was not in any danger. People fish for sharks everyday out of kayaks in Texas, another weak ass person from the northeast.

Can't be too many awesome kayakers in Texas, it's much fatter (31% obesity) than Massachusetts (23%).

Austin is one of the fittest cities in the country. On a nice weekend downtown, I can usually count over a hundred kayaks in the river. Not to mention stand up paddle boarders.
I prefer a less crowded day.

[i865.photobucket.com image 640x480]


That's because there are more non-texans in Austin that natural born texans
 
2012-07-10 02:58:58 PM  

jst3p: que.guero: As someone who's been in the water with a great white (surfing), I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

/actual csb

A surfing great white shark? That IS a cool story, bro!



Curiously enough, the shark *was* surfing. Damn beast dropped in on the wave I was on. Let's just say I'm glad my wetsuit was black...
 
2012-07-10 03:01:09 PM  
We get these tho. Gotta keep your feet out of the weeds.
They tend to eat the baby cygnets in the Spring.



www.austinsturtlepage.com
 
2012-07-10 03:01:39 PM  
This story again...the one where nothing actually happened.
 
2012-07-10 03:07:21 PM  

texmeth: So tired of this story, this fat ass was not in any danger. People fish for sharks everyday out of kayaks in Texas, another weak ass person from the northeast.


exactly where do these shark-fishing kayakers put the sharks they catch, because they sure as hell can't fit them in their kayaks?

/i'm calling you a liar.
 
2012-07-10 03:09:09 PM  

Posh Naranek: MAYORBOB: Good thing for him that he hadn't eaten any Snickers for energy.

HAHA I've got the picture:
[theinspirationroom.com image 515x291]


Eat both squares please.

/love that one
 
2012-07-10 03:10:09 PM  
th01.deviantart.net
 
2012-07-10 03:12:56 PM  
dvdtoile.com

"You've got city hands, Mr. Szulc..."
 
2012-07-10 03:27:51 PM  

SlothB77: texmeth: So tired of this story, this fat ass was not in any danger. People fish for sharks everyday out of kayaks in Texas, another weak ass person from the northeast.

exactly where do these shark-fishing kayakers put the sharks they catch, because they sure as hell can't fit them in their kayaks?

/i'm calling you a liar.


sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net
sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net
a1.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net

Here are just a few images from this site: http://http://www.texaskayakfisherman.com
Most people do not keep the sharks they catch as you have to immediately bleed them, then take them back to the car to put on ice otherwise the meat will not be that great to eat. We get some pretty large bull sharks in the gulf, but hey believe what you like.

By the way there are a few fatties here in Texas that kayak fish, Malibu make a whole line of kayaks for big boys. Hobie make a couple of drive systems for those that are too lazy to paddle.
 
2012-07-10 03:30:09 PM  

texmeth: By the way there are a few fatties here in Texas that kayak fish, Malibu make a whole line of kayaks for big boys. Hobie make a couple of drive systems for those that are too lazy to paddle.


Wha... I just... Ah...

That's... wrong. Just wrong.
 
2012-07-10 03:30:25 PM  
He's going to need a bigger boat.
 
2012-07-10 03:41:08 PM  

Farkenhostile: He's going to need a bigger boat.


Good God people, it took 49 replies before someone said this?!
 
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